I'll never forget, as I lovingly but firmly clutched a copy of the superior Genesis version of Mortal Kombat, observing a strange looking man who held his head down, eyes darting back and forth as he slowly crept in a zigzag pattern towards this place...this hallway, then unknown to a young, precocious King_Mandu. A faraway lair of forbidden secrets and carnal pleasures. The internet has ruined the thrill of the hunt this miscreant used to enjoy so much but it takes a real man with courage and true convictions to shop for porn at 2pm on a sunny Saturday afternoon in a town where everyone knows your face. I hope he whacked himself off harder than he ever had before that day. Godspeed, you horny hero.
RIP to Family Video.