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SHAWN BRADLEY APPRECIATION THREAD

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M

Matlock

Banned
A long long time ago in a NBA far far away, a large lad named Shawn Bradley was drafted. Shortly after being drafted, it was apparent he was a skilless hack.



This, of course, didn't take away from his career. Let's celebrate him with some of the greatest moments to happen when he was near the ball.























As he's announced his retirement, I just feel it's obligatory to offer our love to this large, clumsy beast. We'll miss you, Shawn, because without you--we don't have anyone to make fun of. Other than Konex.
 
R

ronito

Member
I went to his alma mater and once saw him on campus with his very short wife. I'll tell you it was like seeing a fly on a skyscraper. Very strange.
 
D

DMczaf

Member
4qfnub
 
A

AirBrian

Member
bradley1.jpg


"I'm announcing my retirement today. I feel it's a good time to leave the game and spend more time with my family. Also, I hereby proclaim Yao Ming as my successor for all you youngsters to dunk on."

02_11_21_bradley_grabs_jersey.jpg


"Get over here, bitch."

2183619.jpg


"FREE AT LAST! FREE AT LAST! THANK GOD ALMIGHTY, I'M FREE AT LAST!"

Dirk_Nowitzki__Dall_132067a.jpg


"What! Bradley retired? HELL YES!!! TIME TO PARTY!"

Later that night...

steve_nash_dirk_nowitzki.jpg
 
A

Archaix

Drunky McMurder
Shawn Bradley retired? What the hell?

Do you have any idea what this means!

It means that Shawn Bradley...was actually in the NBA this past season.

How the hell did this man have a 12 year career?

Quick check of his stat sheet: This season he had almost 3/3/1 points, rebounds, blocks per game. Almost. Couldn't any one of us pull those kind of numbers?
 
M

Matlock

Banned

Bradley defends his own teammate!


RIDE HIM BRADLEY


Sexy sandwich!


Shawn tries out his patented "Jazz Hands" defending.


!


"How Yao Got His Groove Back"
 
W

Willco

Hollywood Square
Space Jam Review

Mr. Cranky's rating:
2 bombs

This must be one of the most ridiculous cases of tokenism I've ever seen.

After Bugs Bunny and the rest of the Looney Tunes characterschallenge space aliens to a game of basketball, the space aliens, using some kind of space-alien technology, rob the skills from key NBA players to use as their own. They drain the talent from such greats as Patrick Ewing, Mugsy Bogues, Larry Johnson and Charles Barkley. Inexplicably, they also drain the talent from Shawn Bradley.

To steal Shawn Bradley's talent, the space aliens would first have to find it, and the Earth's best minds have so far failed to do that. After Michael Jordan and his accompanying animations win the game, the space aliens are compelled to give Shawn Bradley his talent back. Maybe I missed something, but I noticed no significant difference between the "before" and "after" of this little exchange.

This must be one of the most ridiculous cases of tokenism I've ever seen. I can clearly picture the Hollywood executives waving this script saying, "Hey, we need a white guy to show that some white guys in the NBA have talent too! Let's get Shawn Bradley; he's got talent!" No, Shawn Bradley does not have talent -- he has a head that scrapes the bottom of the smoke alarm when he walks through his house.

Because of this Shawn Bradley fiasco, I strongly encourage both blacks and whites to boycott "Space Jam." Whites shouldn't have to endure this thinly veiled attempt at appeasement and blacks shouldn't tolerate the insinuation that the game Shawn Bradley plays bears some resemblance to the game Michael Jordan plays.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol
 
T

tetsuoxb

Member
I bumped into Shawn Bradley when I was in middle school. Actually being 5' tall, I bumped into his ass. He was hanging out in Coconut Grove in Miami. Dopiest motherfucker I ever met. Seriously.

That and my friends would never let me live down that I bumped in Shawn Bradley's ass.
 
N

newsguy

Member
tetsuoxb said:
I bumped into Shawn Bradley when I was in middle school. Actually being 5' tall, I bumped into his ass. He was hanging out in Coconut Grove in Miami. Dopiest motherfucker I ever met. Seriously.

That and my friends would never let me live down that I bumped in Shawn Bradley's ass.
Click to expand...

How old are you now? When I was in middle school, Marino's was in the Grove (which I assume would be the place to go for a player). Didn't Bradley take a year off to go on some retreat to Australia?
 
T

tetsuoxb

Member
newsguy said:
How old are you now? When I was in middle school, Marino's was in the Grove (which I assume would be the place to go for a player). Didn't Bradley take a year off to go on some retreat to Australia?
Click to expand...

23.
 
N

newsguy

Member
Cool, I'm 25. I haven't been to the Grove in a long time because the crowd is younger and I moved out of Kendall a couple of years ago.
 
B

bionic77

Member
jobber said:
bradleybodyslammed9do.gif
Click to expand...

WTF is that?

I don't remember anyone bodyslamming Bradley.

I can't believe Bradley was a number one pick. I wish I was a foot taller. I can catch and I can shoot, that is probably enough to make a 7 footer a Hall of Famer.
 
P

Pimpwerx

Member
Excellent thread. As Cloudy pointed out, Bradley was always good for a few posters per season. He will be sorely missed. :( I think he survived in the NBA this long for that specific reason. B/c god knows he has no fucking talent whatsoever. I mean, he more of a liability than Chris Dudley, and Dud was one of the worst. PEACE.
 
K

kablooey

Member
:lol :lol :lol This thread rocks. :D

I can't believe Bradley was a number one pick. I wish I was a foot taller. I can catch and I can shoot, that is probably enough to make a 7 footer a Hall of Famer.
Click to expand...

Well, I guess because of Bradley, the argument that anyone who's tall can be as good Shaq, is debunked. I think for that reason, and the aforementioned knack of his for being involved in excellent posters, he's stuck around for this long. He makes the rest of the league look better.
 
B

blahness

Member
my parents just sent me all of my sports cards from my youth.... i found about 8 shawn bradley rookie cards... *has $ eyes*
 
S

Shinobi

Member
DMczaf said:
426db2c813de5.gif
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol The highlight of the year for me.

And I remember that Bradley slam taking place, but I can't remember who did it. I laughed out loud for days though. :lol I've never seen a bigger stiff in my life...and yet I can't hate him, cause from all accounts he's one of the nicest guys in the game.
 
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