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[acoustix]

The reason Im posting this here is because Im looking for as many different opinions as possible. Ive already talked to many of my friends about it and want some outside opinions.

Ok, heres the story and bear with me cause its kinda long. My first serious gf was back in 1999 and we dated for a little over 2 years. Lets call her Jane. The first year was great but after that it was all downhill. Jane was psycho, didnt want me to hang out with friends, insainly jelous, yadda yadda. I never cheated, never gave her any reason to give me such crap and it got to a point where I was used to her shit. Initially I stayed with her cause I was scared she might kill herself if I broke up with her. Finally after a New Years party shit hit the fan, my buds little sister kissed me and I pushed her off. Jane found about it and snapped. So I finally picked up my nuts and dumped her. It was UGLY cause I was rooming with her best friend at the time (dont ask). Anyway after dumping her I moved in with a couple buds and cut off contact completely. I had to change my cellphone number two times and when she couldnt find me her and her friends would fuck with my buddies houses (vandalism etc, very mature). Anyway the last time I saw her was when I was getting all my shit outta her friends apartment. Its been almost 4 years since Ive seen or talked to her, partially cause I moved for school soon after we broke up.

Anywho, when I finished school about 2 years ago I moved back fairly close to my old neighborhood and now I room with my best friend. I hadnt run into her at all and had pretty much forgotten about the whole thing. Apparntley Jane has suddenly reappeared and has been asking about me and getting real chummy with some of my friends.

I know its dumb to open a can of worms by talking to her but I cant help feeling guilty about not talking to her at all over the past four years considering she pretty much wanted to get married. I would like to know how shes doing but strictly as friends.

So from what Ive told you would it be possible to have any kind of contact with this girl without it turing ugly. And ifso what are some suggestions about how to initiate the contact?

Edit: I should also say that according to some people she has changed for the better and is a cool chic now. This is what makes me think it might be possible.

 

[Vormund]

Is this a joke?

 

[olimario]

She's a psycho. Stay away.
Really, she doesn't sound sane.

 

[acoustix]

Is this a joke?

Nope. I understand it seems dumb but Im feeling guilty about not talking to her

 

[AB 101]

Was she good in bed?

 

[WedgeX]

This doesn't sound like it could end in any way that could be considered good.

Heed the advise of Batman:

 

[Escape Goat]

Why did you post this?

 

[demon]

Is this a joke?

I second that motion. You don't have shit to feel guilty about. She absolutely deserved to be dumped, and it sounds like she deserved a fucking restraining order, let alone just not talking to her. She sounds incredibly psycho, and I don't know why you'd want to have contact with anyone like that in your life.

 

[acoustix]

Why did you post this?

Basically shes been emailing me and shit and I havent responded. Most of my close friends told me to stay the fuck away and thats what Ive been doing.

 

[Vormund]

Heed the advise of Batman:

That never fails to crack me up. :lol

My advice (now knowing that you're serious ffs) is:

She want's to catch up....SO SHE CAN CUT YOUR BALLS OFF LOLZ AM I RITE

 

[Koshiba]

It probably wouldn't be a good idea. In some cases, it's perfectly alright to get in contact with ex's and be friends with them, sometimes it's a great thing. But in this situation, it probably isn't. Though she may have grown up alot. I'd say just wait and see.. Don't *try* to contact her but don't go completely out of your way to avoid her either. Keep her at a safe distance from you if you know what I mean. =x

 

[Grizzlyjin]

Ask yourself these questions. What good could possibly come from hanging out with her again? Why bother contacting someone who was a total psycho in the past? I mean there are plenty of people in the world that aren't psycho bitches, don't drag someone who has proven they don't know how to act in the mix. We don't know what's going on in her head, she might fuck up one of your relationships.

The way I see it, it doesn't matter if she changed. There is no real point to bringing her back into your life, you've moved on.

 

[snaildog]

I've had a kind of similar situation. Some sick side of me wants to catch up with her and see how she's doing, not because I feel guilty but for the reason people stop and look at car accidents.

 

[WHOAguitarninja]

Basically shes been emailing me and shit and I havent responded. Most of my close friends told me to stay the fuck away and thats what Ive been doing.

Most of your close friends would be right.

 

[suaveric]

She doesn't deserve to be your friend after what she did to your buddy's places.

 

[BuddyC]

Edit: I should also say that according to some people she has changed for the better and is a cool chic now. This is what makes me think it might be possible.

:lol doesn't really express the manic laughter I'm aiming for, but it'll have to do.

 

[Boogie]

Gawdammit, half of you fuckers don't deserve girlfriends with stupid threads like these.

With all these retarded people who can get girlfriends, you'd think I'd have an easier time myself.

 

[BuddyC]

With all these retarded people who can get girlfriends, you'd think I'd have an easier time myself.

Seriously, there's your answer. You're got your standards you're not willing to compromise, and some ....don't. C'mon now Boogie, would you really want to be in a situation like this?

To be fair, they are amusing. And if you're involved and can maintain perspective, they're usually exponentially moreso. Oh, if I ever do another girlfriend thread, it's going to be a doozy.

 

[aoi tsuki]

Gawdammit, half of you fuckers don't deserve girlfriends with stupid threads like these.

So true.

 

[The Shadow]

Gawdammit, half of you fuckers don't deserve girlfriends with stupid threads like these.

There's never a 100% perfect relationship. They're usually filled with drama and crazyness and all kinds of other BS. It's the nature of the beast. If people are going to post about a relationship, it's going to be about a problem.

 

[demon]

If people are going to post about a relationship, it's going to be about a problem.

Or a post about the constant sex their getting, hidden behind some question about condoms or post-coitus girlfriend quivering on the bed.

 

[Dilbert]

Or a post about the constant sex their getting, hidden behind some question about condoms or post-coitus girlfriend quivering on the bed.

Hey guys, sorry I couldn't respond to this sooner, but my girlfriend wouldn't let me browse GAF until after her 20th orgasm. Now that she's passed out and twitching, I can address the question from the original poster:

RUN.

 

[The Shadow]

Or a post about the constant sex their getting, hidden behind some question about condoms or post-coitus girlfriend quivering on the bed.

Well, maybe it's just me but I just have a hard time believing people who have a need to post about how much sex their getting on a gaming message forum. Either that, or it just doesn't bother me.

OP:

Only in extremely rare circumstances do people really and truly change. In other words, even though you've heard she's not psycho anymore, she very likely is and is just on her best behavior for whatever reason. She's still a psycho so I'd recommend avoiding her. Not sure why you feel guilty unless you still have feelings for her. There's no reason you should feel guilty by not talking to her.

 

[miyuru]

I totally understand why you feel guilty, but it's smartest not to go out of your way (at all) to talk to her.

Rough situation, I know how you feel man. I just....don't post about it anymore :lol

 

[Kuro Madoushi]

Hahahaha

Geez you guys crack me up!

Anyways, acoustix she sounds kind of messed up. Why go looking for trouble when it often comes looking for you in the first place?

You feel bad for not talking to her? WHY? You broke up with her in the first place because you couldn't stand her BS. There are enough bad stories about talking to ex gfs that I'm put off that idea completely.

 

[miyuru]

You feel bad for not talking to her? WHY? You broke up with her in the first place because you couldn't stand her BS. There are enough bad stories about talking to ex gfs that I'm put off that idea completely.

Logic often plays a small role in most relationships. Yeah, he feels guilty, so don't ask stupid questions.

 

[boutrosinit]

This doesn't sound like it could end in any way that could be considered good.

Heed the advise of Batman:

I almost shat myself laughing at this...

but seriously. Dude. How old are you? How old is she?

4 years is a long time. I had a psycho gf. She dumped me for some loser (among other things). Now they split and she sold all his shit to charity 2 years on. I broke contact with her for that full 2 years and reassumed contact recently because I'm leaving the country to live in LA and wanted to leave town with as few shit stains as possible.

She's grown up a lot, but despite how much wonderful company she is now, she still has mildly psychotic tendencies (she talks a lot of very ill thoughts toward her ex). Leopards don't change their spots.

 

[DCX]

This thread needs Demi!!

DCX

 

[Manics]

My answer is no. It ended badly, she did some questionable things such as vandalism / harrassing friends. Why go back into that again? If you go back to her, I can forsee the two of you on Jerry Springer very soon. Please mention GAF when you're on the show so I know it's you.

 

[Cerebral Palsy]

You should get drunk and have sex with her.

 

[Alyssa Hu$tle]

If you want to, what can it hurt? It sounds like you have moved on emotionally, and so has she because she is ready to marry.

So long as you are honest as to your intentions that is.

For me, I actually really enjoy catching up with people from my past who have had a major influence on my life, and past relationships often fit into this category. The reason is because I like to see how I have developed and changed as a result of my life experiences, and I like to see how others have also grown and developed with time. I find the whole thing fascinating.

Plus if you left on bad terms, it is often good to revisit and get closure. It is so refreshing to have a decent conversation with someone who you once cared about, and to talk about stuff and thank them for the good things they did for you... once all the anger and bullshit has dissipated. If you do catch up, I bet she admits she fucked up with all her jealously and thanks you for showing her that.... chalk 1 up for you for teaching her that.

I value all the influences and experiences in my life, both good and bad. They make me "me".

But if your intentions are not completely honourable i.e. "sure, I want to catch up because I care, but one more go around the block for olds sake would be a desired outcome", then let it alone. Just move on and forget about the baggage.

10 bucks says you catch up with her anyway, no matter what we all say. If you do, let us know the outcome, for curiosities sake.

 

[mrmyth]

Edit: I should also say that according to some people she has changed for the better and is a cool chic now. This is what makes me think it might be possible.

You need to think about all the excellent revenge a psycho can come up with in four years.

 

[Tedesco!]

Stay away....

 

[callous]

You should get drunk and have sex with her.

That's what I'm thinking. Or at least have sex with her. The crazies are often good in bed.

Seriously though, unless you really are somewhat interested in her, which I suspect you might be, I see absolutely no reason for you to resume contact with her. If she's sane now, she knows very well that you don't owe her an apology after how she behaved. If she's still psycho, you know you shouldn't contact her. Basically, there's no reason for you to contact her unless you're kinda hoping for something to happen *for you*. Maybe closure, maybe something more. Nothing wrong with that. People are people, but you say you want to because you owe her an apology. You don't. At least if you see her, see her while being honest with yourself about why you're doing it.

Edit: Actually, the crazies often are good in bed. That part's serious too

 

[Litigation Manuel]

If you want to, what can it hurt? It sounds like you have moved on emotionally, and so has she because she is ready to marry.

She isn't ready to marry, she was ready to marry...him.

If you seek her out, she may think it's because you're interested in her again, which could cause some problems with her. However, if this is something you really want to do despite our advice, seek out a friend of hers first and ask her how she has been acting, is she really over you, do you come up in conversations and so on.

 

[demi]

This thread needs Demi!!

DCX

You have two choices

Avoid her.