ts been posted elsewhere, but because its relevant to this performance....
I'm here in my hotel room, its 4:02 a.m.. My parents are on tour with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in spokane tonight. They announced at breakfast that I would be on letterman tonight. They called this morning to tell me they were in the same hotel as whitesnake. What a mix.
My dad said that he thought I would look crazier than I did like some "girl in the cul-de-sac".
Glad I'm not cul-de-sac girl....even though I have no idea what that means.
My boyfriend called me too right after....its been a month or more (I try not to measure the time) since I saw him last. I get to see him in 6 days though...yay!
Watching the letterman show tonight was like a dream. The taping was really surreal...
When we got there I remembered billy's warning that its always freezing (fifty degrees) on those stages and he wasn't kidding.....
Brrrrrr.
The set looked a lot smaller than I expected. When we walked in paul schaffer was warming up the band.
Billy changed the song from a100 to m.o.h. at the last minute so they hauled off my keyboards and I was left with my half a mic.
When we rehearsed they were trying to get camera angles and I was put right behind billy between matt and brian who were on platforms. Gooch told me that I should try to not move a lot so that they could get good camera shots.
Billy got some hard news an hour before the taping so the song felt even heavier than usual. I really love that guy. Right now I'm watching him deal with incredible amounts of stress that would make a normal person implode.
When we were done with our sound check I had to try and get billy magpie and his girlfriend in because they were gonna get stuck with the lindsey lohan show that they were taping right after us. 
lol) I had to talk to 6 different people but eventually they said they could watch from the greenroom. I went upstairs checked my makeup and got dressed but billy made me change what I was wearing. He had so many things running across his face.. We watched part of christopher walken's interview...I hear that he came into the greenroom when billy magpie was in there...haaha..
The mood backstage was strangley laid back.
When it was our turn we went down there and there was a brief moment where no one knew where billy's guitar was as we were plugging our in ear monitors in. In those five seconds I got a little scared. David letterman was on the left and paul schaffer was on the right and billy was standing there empty handed going "where's my guitar" and then suddenly it just started. The five seconds before we started billy turned back towards me and signed a message to me and then the music started. It was hyper reality. I remember seeing david scratch his arm and seeing the red lights on the cameras and some lady shifted in the balcony but I can't remember the rest. Its all a blur. When we walked off and got in the elevator billy asked me how his vocals were and I really didn't know. I can't explain it. I went back to check on billy and rachel and then I wandered up got my stuff and left. I was completely wound up and out of it at the same time. Billy gooch and matt took off to chicago.
I had three hours of conversations about my record and what I have to do to get it done....but I can't think of that now....
I was so scared I would miss the airing of the show. I had to call down to the concierge twice to check.
I've felt really lonely on the tour lately so I was really excited when a bunch of people called to say they were watching it. When it aired on the east coast my friend jason called and was laughing about it with me. It was one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me when it actually set in that I was watching myself on the letterman show that I've been watching for so many years. I kept calling my boyfriend over and over...but he wasn't gonna see it for two more hours...
When it aired on the west coast my parents called excited and charlie called freaking out....it really made me miss him even more.
Well, all the rest is private...half the memories I'm keeping for myself.
So I guess today it finally comes out that billy is going to do the pumpkins again...I can finally talk about it..I've known for a while. I'm really excited ill get to hear him perform disarm again. I stood on that stage at the last pumpkins show and sang to sheila...I had no idea at that moment that that would only be the begining to the adventures billy would guide me through.
Congratulations on the release of the future embrace billy!! You are amazing.
I'm ending this in a hurry because I'm gonna miss my flight to atlanta...I don't have time to reread or spellcheck...oh well
Viva la pumpkins
Xoxoxoxox
LStrawberry