..and with the exception of one match, one of the better shows I've been to.
BIG VIS vs TYSON TOMKO
Strictly a comedy match - Tomko swiped some poor schlub's bag of popcorn during Vis' entrance, then climbed into the ring and offered it to him. Vis reached for it, and Tomko tossed it over the ropes while screaming "YOU'RE FAT ENOUGH". Some power moves back and forth, Vis did that weird camel clutch/prison rape move, and got the pin. Afterwards he brought Candace Michelle into the ring for some dancing and macking to get his hetero heat back, I'm assuming. OK for a curtainjerker.
THE MASTERPIECE CHRIS MASTSERS vs TAJIRI
The "boring" chants started as Masters was on his way to the ring :lol Tajiri actually got in the majority of the offense in this match, with his patented kicks to the body and legs softening up Masters. Tajiri got caught in the Masterlock, however, and was forced to submit. Totally sold it too - it took him a good 6 minutes to get out of the ring and to the back with the referee's help.
HEARTTHROBS vs HURRICANE & ROSEY vs SIMON DEAN & MAVEN
Good GOD did Simon have huge heel heat. The Heartthrobs are hilarious - the whole "gay guys hopped up on ecstasy" vibe had the girls I was with freaking out (wtf). The poor ring announcer got caught in the corner turnbuckle while the Heartthrobs insisted on dancing with him. Good times. Weird match though - Hurricane played face-in-peril, but honestly this match was all about the other two teams. Simon Dean was getting screamed at by the crowd during the entire match and played it to perfection. Hurricane and Rosey retained the titles, but they were really an afterthought in this match.
CHRISTY HEMME vs VICTORIA
Before this match started, Coach came out and kicked the ring announcer AND the referee out of the ring so he could ref this match himself. Victoria came out (oh lord she's even hotter in person) although her ring entrance sucks (I miss Crazy Bitch Victoria). Hemme came out doing her bouncy thing. They shook hands, and did the usual back and forth nonsense where Victoria carries Hemme as much as possible. Looked like Victoria had a botched spot on the turnbuckle, Hemme bent down to see if she was OK, then Victoria nailed her from behind and WENT HEEL OMG OMG OMG. Cue the shitkicking. Hemme managed to turn it around and go for the pin, but on the 2 Coach turned around and started tying his shoelaces. I yelled "THAT'S RIGHT COACH, SAFETY FIRST" and actually got Victoria to smile for a millisecond. Hemme nailed him in the crotch and pinned Victoria while another ref came out for the 1 2 3. Then another referee came out and they took turns stomping the crap out of Coach on the floor. Victoria I still love you.
CHRIS BENOIT vs SNITSKY
First things first - Snitsky has the absolute worst case of steroid bacne I have *ever* seen. His back looks like a goddamn dart board. Nice "EC-DUB" chant to start. Snitsky had some power moves, then went outside for the garbage can. Benoit nailed Gene in the head multiple times, the crowd yelled "one more time" so he nailed him again. Then two German suplexes INTO the garbage can, it was pretty sick. Flying headbutt, 1 2 3. OK match, but Snitsky's style doesn't really mesh with Benoit, which is weird because Benoit can usually carry anyone to a good match.
SHELTON BENJAMIN vs CHRISTIAN
Match of the NIGHT. As soon as Christian's music hit, a massive pop the likes of which you haven't heard in ages filled the arena. Christian is so fucking over right now it's not funny. Even Tomko was getting residual face heat just accompanying him to the ring. Benjamin comes out to a chorus of boos raining from the ceiling, it was nuts. Think Rock vs Hogan at Wrestlemania a few years back - the crowd had made their choice as to who they were going to cheer for and screw the WWE if they don't like it. The match starts, Christian gets off a move or two and everybody started cheering "LET'S GO CHRISTIAN clap clap clapclapclap" Then Benjamin gets off a move and people start booing their asses off. Christian jumps out of the ring, grabs the mic, and starts beaking off:
"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE, BUT I'M A PROUD TORONTONIAN. I DON'T NEED YOU UNWASHED VANCOUVERITES JUMPING ON MY BANDWAGON NOW THAT I'M GETTING IT DONE. THE PEEPS DON'T NEED YOU, WE DON'T WANT YOU, AND VANCOUVER CAN GO TO HELL."
Crowd: "BOOOOOooooo.............."
Match starts again, and immediately we all start cheering "LET'S GO CHRISTIAN clap clap clapclapclap" AGAIN. So Benjamin jumps out of the ring and grabs the mic:
"YOU PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS. HE JUST INSULTED YOU AND YOUR TOWN TO YOUR FACES, AND YOU STILL WANT TO CHEER FOR HIM? STUPID CANADIANS - SCREW YOU GUYS."
Then he leaves!
Tomko went and got him and rolled him back into the ring, and they decided to play the roles the way we wanted them to play, so Christian went full face and Benjamin heel. They then proceeded to put on an awesome match. Reversals, aerial moves, tons of playing to the crowd - even though it was a house show, there were a couple of near falls that we were absolutely sure Christian was going to take the IC title. Benjamin ended up pulling it out (feet on the ropes? the angle was difficult for me to tell) for the 1 2 3. So Benjamin celebrates on the top turnbuckle, taunting the crowd and showing off the belt before stepping off right into an Unprettier. Hilarious all round.
EDGE vs KANE
Man, what a POS. It started out well, Edge hops in the ring, grabs the mic and starts beaking off about how good he is at stealing other men's wives, and how once he gives Kane the spear in the ring, he'll head back to the hotel room and give Lita a spear of her own. Kane comes in, hellfire and brimstone etc, and immediately starts beating the snot out of Edge. About 2 minutes into the match, though, it just...ended. Edge somehow pinned Kane and ran off into the back. Seriously, the pin came out of nowhere and didn't fit the flow of action at all. Terrible, terrible match - everyone was booing.
CHRIS JERICHO vs MUHAMMED HASSAN
Another great match, from an entertainment POV anyways. Hassan and Daivari come out to a HUGE pop from the crowd - everyone is standing up and applauding like mad, it was hilarious. Hassan grabs the mic:
"IT TOOK ME 4 HOURS TO GET INTO YOUR STUPID COUNTRY TODAY. YOUR CUSTOMS OFFICERS ARE RACIST JUST LIKE THE AMERICANS. THAT ONLY MAKES SENSE, SINCE YOU'RE JUST A GLORIFIED 51ST STATE ANYWAYS, AMERICA JUNIOR!"
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Daivari grabs the mic: "insert Persian rant here"
Crowd: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Jericho comes out to the biggest pop of the night so far, and starts cutting a promo.
"YOU KNOW, YOU ASSCLOWNS ARE ALWAYS TEAMING UP ON ME, AND I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BRING IN A LITTLE HELP"
Then the bagpipes started playing and everyone lost their freaking minds. Rowdy Roddy Piper comes strolling down the aisle and immediately starts playing the race card on the mic, going on about how Hassan's headgear looks like a curtain from Motel 6, and how they're gonna strap him back on a camel and send him back to wherever he came from. The crowd got *really* uncomfortable during the promo. Then Piper fucked up by calling Jericho "Y2K" so during the entire match, everybody was chanting "Y2K! Y2K!" :lol :lol
Jericho ended up getting the Liontamer submission win, but the best part of match was easily the Hassan/Daivari crowd interaction. Good stuff.
BATISTA vs HHH/RIC FLAIR
Oh my Flair's manboobies are disturbing as hell to see in person. Yikes. Anyways, HHH was great (his entrance rocks live) and Flair was entertaining as the cowardly heel. Batista did his Big Dave thing well enough, and had both guys bumping like madmen for him. As far as main events go, it was good enough, but the Christian/Benjamin match outshone it bigtime. Still, Dave retained, we were entertained, and that's all you can ask for.
Free 3rd row floor seats + tons of screaming + awesome crowd participation = one heck of a show. Well done, WWE.
BIG VIS vs TYSON TOMKO
Strictly a comedy match - Tomko swiped some poor schlub's bag of popcorn during Vis' entrance, then climbed into the ring and offered it to him. Vis reached for it, and Tomko tossed it over the ropes while screaming "YOU'RE FAT ENOUGH". Some power moves back and forth, Vis did that weird camel clutch/prison rape move, and got the pin. Afterwards he brought Candace Michelle into the ring for some dancing and macking to get his hetero heat back, I'm assuming. OK for a curtainjerker.
THE MASTERPIECE CHRIS MASTSERS vs TAJIRI
The "boring" chants started as Masters was on his way to the ring :lol Tajiri actually got in the majority of the offense in this match, with his patented kicks to the body and legs softening up Masters. Tajiri got caught in the Masterlock, however, and was forced to submit. Totally sold it too - it took him a good 6 minutes to get out of the ring and to the back with the referee's help.
HEARTTHROBS vs HURRICANE & ROSEY vs SIMON DEAN & MAVEN
Good GOD did Simon have huge heel heat. The Heartthrobs are hilarious - the whole "gay guys hopped up on ecstasy" vibe had the girls I was with freaking out (wtf). The poor ring announcer got caught in the corner turnbuckle while the Heartthrobs insisted on dancing with him. Good times. Weird match though - Hurricane played face-in-peril, but honestly this match was all about the other two teams. Simon Dean was getting screamed at by the crowd during the entire match and played it to perfection. Hurricane and Rosey retained the titles, but they were really an afterthought in this match.
CHRISTY HEMME vs VICTORIA
Before this match started, Coach came out and kicked the ring announcer AND the referee out of the ring so he could ref this match himself. Victoria came out (oh lord she's even hotter in person) although her ring entrance sucks (I miss Crazy Bitch Victoria). Hemme came out doing her bouncy thing. They shook hands, and did the usual back and forth nonsense where Victoria carries Hemme as much as possible. Looked like Victoria had a botched spot on the turnbuckle, Hemme bent down to see if she was OK, then Victoria nailed her from behind and WENT HEEL OMG OMG OMG. Cue the shitkicking. Hemme managed to turn it around and go for the pin, but on the 2 Coach turned around and started tying his shoelaces. I yelled "THAT'S RIGHT COACH, SAFETY FIRST" and actually got Victoria to smile for a millisecond. Hemme nailed him in the crotch and pinned Victoria while another ref came out for the 1 2 3. Then another referee came out and they took turns stomping the crap out of Coach on the floor. Victoria I still love you.
CHRIS BENOIT vs SNITSKY
First things first - Snitsky has the absolute worst case of steroid bacne I have *ever* seen. His back looks like a goddamn dart board. Nice "EC-DUB" chant to start. Snitsky had some power moves, then went outside for the garbage can. Benoit nailed Gene in the head multiple times, the crowd yelled "one more time" so he nailed him again. Then two German suplexes INTO the garbage can, it was pretty sick. Flying headbutt, 1 2 3. OK match, but Snitsky's style doesn't really mesh with Benoit, which is weird because Benoit can usually carry anyone to a good match.
SHELTON BENJAMIN vs CHRISTIAN
Match of the NIGHT. As soon as Christian's music hit, a massive pop the likes of which you haven't heard in ages filled the arena. Christian is so fucking over right now it's not funny. Even Tomko was getting residual face heat just accompanying him to the ring. Benjamin comes out to a chorus of boos raining from the ceiling, it was nuts. Think Rock vs Hogan at Wrestlemania a few years back - the crowd had made their choice as to who they were going to cheer for and screw the WWE if they don't like it. The match starts, Christian gets off a move or two and everybody started cheering "LET'S GO CHRISTIAN clap clap clapclapclap" Then Benjamin gets off a move and people start booing their asses off. Christian jumps out of the ring, grabs the mic, and starts beaking off:
"I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU ARE, BUT I'M A PROUD TORONTONIAN. I DON'T NEED YOU UNWASHED VANCOUVERITES JUMPING ON MY BANDWAGON NOW THAT I'M GETTING IT DONE. THE PEEPS DON'T NEED YOU, WE DON'T WANT YOU, AND VANCOUVER CAN GO TO HELL."
Crowd: "BOOOOOooooo.............."
Match starts again, and immediately we all start cheering "LET'S GO CHRISTIAN clap clap clapclapclap" AGAIN. So Benjamin jumps out of the ring and grabs the mic:
"YOU PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS. HE JUST INSULTED YOU AND YOUR TOWN TO YOUR FACES, AND YOU STILL WANT TO CHEER FOR HIM? STUPID CANADIANS - SCREW YOU GUYS."
Then he leaves!
Tomko went and got him and rolled him back into the ring, and they decided to play the roles the way we wanted them to play, so Christian went full face and Benjamin heel. They then proceeded to put on an awesome match. Reversals, aerial moves, tons of playing to the crowd - even though it was a house show, there were a couple of near falls that we were absolutely sure Christian was going to take the IC title. Benjamin ended up pulling it out (feet on the ropes? the angle was difficult for me to tell) for the 1 2 3. So Benjamin celebrates on the top turnbuckle, taunting the crowd and showing off the belt before stepping off right into an Unprettier. Hilarious all round.
EDGE vs KANE
Man, what a POS. It started out well, Edge hops in the ring, grabs the mic and starts beaking off about how good he is at stealing other men's wives, and how once he gives Kane the spear in the ring, he'll head back to the hotel room and give Lita a spear of her own. Kane comes in, hellfire and brimstone etc, and immediately starts beating the snot out of Edge. About 2 minutes into the match, though, it just...ended. Edge somehow pinned Kane and ran off into the back. Seriously, the pin came out of nowhere and didn't fit the flow of action at all. Terrible, terrible match - everyone was booing.
CHRIS JERICHO vs MUHAMMED HASSAN
Another great match, from an entertainment POV anyways. Hassan and Daivari come out to a HUGE pop from the crowd - everyone is standing up and applauding like mad, it was hilarious. Hassan grabs the mic:
"IT TOOK ME 4 HOURS TO GET INTO YOUR STUPID COUNTRY TODAY. YOUR CUSTOMS OFFICERS ARE RACIST JUST LIKE THE AMERICANS. THAT ONLY MAKES SENSE, SINCE YOU'RE JUST A GLORIFIED 51ST STATE ANYWAYS, AMERICA JUNIOR!"
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Daivari grabs the mic: "insert Persian rant here"
Crowd: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Jericho comes out to the biggest pop of the night so far, and starts cutting a promo.
"YOU KNOW, YOU ASSCLOWNS ARE ALWAYS TEAMING UP ON ME, AND I'VE HAD ABOUT ENOUGH. SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BRING IN A LITTLE HELP"
Then the bagpipes started playing and everyone lost their freaking minds. Rowdy Roddy Piper comes strolling down the aisle and immediately starts playing the race card on the mic, going on about how Hassan's headgear looks like a curtain from Motel 6, and how they're gonna strap him back on a camel and send him back to wherever he came from. The crowd got *really* uncomfortable during the promo. Then Piper fucked up by calling Jericho "Y2K" so during the entire match, everybody was chanting "Y2K! Y2K!" :lol :lol
Jericho ended up getting the Liontamer submission win, but the best part of match was easily the Hassan/Daivari crowd interaction. Good stuff.
BATISTA vs HHH/RIC FLAIR
Oh my Flair's manboobies are disturbing as hell to see in person. Yikes. Anyways, HHH was great (his entrance rocks live) and Flair was entertaining as the cowardly heel. Batista did his Big Dave thing well enough, and had both guys bumping like madmen for him. As far as main events go, it was good enough, but the Christian/Benjamin match outshone it bigtime. Still, Dave retained, we were entertained, and that's all you can ask for.
Free 3rd row floor seats + tons of screaming + awesome crowd participation = one heck of a show. Well done, WWE.
