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[Willco]

Mom's getting married in less than 24 hours. I like the guy. He's a Redskins season ticket holder. And I just came back from a night on the town where he bought all my booze. Plus he bought me an iPod. And did my taxes.

I'm giving away my Mom because my Grandfather passed away several years ago. I'm supposed to do a toast as well. Any ideas? I'm completely stumped. Also, what's the average length for a toast?

I mean, I can be funny, I just don't want to crack too many jokes. It is a wedding.

 

[AntoneM]

the toast doesn't need to be long at all, in fact short, sweet, and to the point generally makes the best toast's. something like, all you've ever wanted was for your mom to be happy and you welcome him to the family or something.

 

[Nerevar]

Mom's getting married in less than 24 hours. I like the guy. He's a Redskins season ticket holder. And I just came back from a night on the town where he bought all my booze. Plus he bought me an iPod. And did my taxes.

I'm giving away my Mom because my Grandfather passed away several years ago. I'm supposed to do a toast as well. Any ideas? I'm completely stumped. Also, what's the average length for a toast?

I mean, I can be funny, I just don't want to crack too many jokes. It is a wedding.

yeah, short and to the point. If you don't know the guy that well, just rag on the Redskins and the nats. Sports woes always get laughs.

 

[Willco]

yeah, short and to the point. If you don't know the guy that well, just rag on the Redskins and the nats. Sports woes always get laughs.

They've been engaged for over a year and I know him pretty well. PLUS, I love the Redskins and the Nats. He's taken to me several 'Skins games and tailgating, because he rules. Or he's trying to bribe me.

Plus, he's sending me to the Carribean next week.

 

[android]

They've been engaged for over a year and I know him pretty well. PLUS, I love the Redskins and the Nats. He's taken to me several 'Skins games and tailgating, because he rules. Or he's trying to bribe me.

Plus, he's sending me to the Carribean next week.

Yeah no Willco next week. Just keep it short and sweet. Say how you gladly accept him as a good match for your mother, how you hope they have a happy life together as a married couple, etc.

 

[Willco]

Yeah no Willco next week. Just keep it short and sweet. Say how you gladly accept him as a good match for your mother, how you hope they have a happy life together as a married couple, etc.

Yeah, I'll be on a cruise from the 27th to April 4th courtesy of my new step-daddy.

 

[Fifty]

Show up wearing a Ravens jersey!

 

[Nerevar]

Yeah no Willco next week. Just keep it short and sweet. Say how you gladly accept him as a good match for your mother, how you hope they have a happy life together as a married couple, etc.

funny's better than sappy, IMO. You need to have some honey when you talk, but mostly rib them a little bit. That shows you like someone more than the standard "i hope you have a long happy life blah blah blah."

And I was talking about ribbing them for being a sports fan in general and going through the torture of liking the teams. stuff like he's waited his whole life for this moment - he finally has a hometown baseball team, etc.

Of course, this is irrelevant if the audience sucks. In that case just stick with sugar. I've never been to a wedding for people over the age of 32, so it might be a bit different when you're older.

 

[impirius]

Go on at length about how Coach Gibbs is going to get the ship turned around and talk about some of the good offseason moves. End by wishing him a happy life or something.

 

[Hero]

I thought 1-2 minute toasts were the normal?

 

[Blackace]

btw Willco congrats! weird to say, but it is good that your mom moved on and you approved and all that jazz...

 

[Willco]

btw Willco congrats! weird to say, but it is good that your mom moved on and you approved and all that jazz...

Thanks. Although, I should mention that this is her third marriage. Her marriage to my father happened when both were young and it seemed to be a horrible relationship, although both are good friends now (my father, my stepmom , and my half-sister will be attending the wedding) and live - seriously! - 100 yards away from each other. I walk back and forth between their houses all the time. And both my parents watch my half sibilings all the time, regardless of the fact that neither is related to the other (my half-sister is my father's child, my half-brother is my mother's) Last year, my mom, her fiance, my half-brother, my father, my stepmom, my half-sister and I all saw Lord of the Rings together. Weird, eh, but alright. At any rate, she broke up with my Dad before I can even remember, and married her second husband when I was around 4-years-old and broke up with him four years later.

So this is her first serious relationship since then (about 13 years of single parenthood since her last marraige), it's been a year in the works and it looks to be THE ONE. I'm happy to send her off.

Enough with the history lesson, so I'm going to go ahead and mix in a bit of funny, but mostly sweet and wrap it up at about two minutes.

 

[Triumph]

Just think: WWBCD?(What Would Bruce Campbell Do?)

 

[Ninja Scooter]

instead of giving a toast, just go up with a little casio keyboard and sing the theme song to Family Ties.

I bet we been together for a million years,
And I bet we'll be together for a million more.

Oh, It's like I started breathing on the night we kissed,
And I can't remember what I ever did before.

What would we do baby, Without Us?
What would we do baby, Without Us?

And there ain't no nothing we can't love each other through.

What would we do baby, Without Us?

Sha la la la.

Don't forget the "Sha la la la". The "Sha la la la" makes the song.

 

[GLoK]

Depends on the crowd. I know if it was my mom, the type of people she hangs out with and the way my family is, I'd be sure to throw in some funny.

But, in some families you'd probably be better off telling jokes to a brick wall.. in fact, it might be less awkward to do so.

just play to the crowd really. If they like the funny, make a quick quip and offer congratulations, if not, pour on the sugar and offer congratulations.

Simple.

 

[Shouta]

Thanks. Although, I should mention that this is her third marriage. Her marriage to my father happened when both were young and it seemed to be a horrible relationship, although both are good friends now (my father, my stepmom , and my half-sister will be attending the wedding) and live - seriously! - 100 yards away from each other. I walk back and forth between their houses all the time. And both my parents watch my half sibilings all the time, regardless of the fact that neither is related to the other (my half-sister is my father's child, my half-brother is my mother's) Last year, my mom, her fiance, my half-brother, my father, my stepmom, my half-sister and I all saw Lord of the Rings together. Weird, eh, but alright. At any rate, she broke up with my Dad before I can even remember, and married her second husband when I was around 4-years-old and broke up with him four years later.

Man, that's a brainhurt to read.

So, when do we get to meet your mother-sister-uncle-cousin twice removed?

 

[android]

I forgot to ask, what island's are you going to? Will you get much time on them?

 

[kgHavok23]

he bought you an iPod!!?!?


Winner.

 

[ElyrionX]

Short and sweet would be good.

And it's good to see that there is no bitterness between your two sets of parents. You should be thankful for that.

 

[Ghost]

Hmmm, he gets your mom, then sends you away for a week immeadiatly afterwards....


dude, i dont think they are gonna be there when you get back.






As for the speech, i guess it'd be a bit wierd welcoming your step dad to the family when your Dad is sitting in the crowd. But in my head it sounds like "Id like to wish x & y all the happiness in the world and welcome x to the family, y is a wonderful person, and a great mom and i think she's found her Mr right in x. *Insert some joke about the redskins sucking and dispair loving company*, *Insert "join me in a toast to x & y" bit*


Something like that

 

[HAOHMARU]

Call Jack Bauer!

 

[Azih]

How about

"You know I wasn't sure about <insert name here>. Then something happened that convinced me he was the perfect man for my mother. He bought me an Ipod. SALUT!"

 

[Willco]

I played it short and sweet, with the cocky and funny. It was the hit of the wedding. I got like fifty billion congrats and the bar girl's number. I rule.

... until the reception afterparty. I got sloppy drunk, the best man put me in a cab, I stumbled home and my best friend who attended the event is puking in the bathroom right now.

Weddings rule!

Man, that's a brainhurt to read.

So, when do we get to meet your mother-sister-uncle-cousin twice removed?

Next week!

I forgot to ask, what island's are you going to? Will you get much time on them?

Not sure. One of 'em is the Cayman (sp?) islands and I'll be in Cozumel, Mexico. I don't know how long the time on the islands is, I presume a day or so. The cruise is a week.