Someone in your immediate vicinity lets out a big fart. What do you do?

What do you do?

  • Grin and bear it

    Votes: 3 7.7%

  • I love the smell of farts. Do a little waving motion to draw it closer to my nose

    Votes: 1 2.6%

  • Pretend I don’t smell it and get the hell out of there

    Votes: 9 23.1%

  • Laugh and put your hand up to give the farter a high five

    Votes: 15 38.5%

  • Lock the car windows so none of the passengers can put their windows down. We all die together

    Votes: 11 28.2%
  • Total voters
    39
haxan7

haxan7

Banned
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

What are some embarrassing times you've farted? Heard other people fart? How long did it take for your significant other to start farting in front of you?

Tell me about your farts.
 
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Claim it and threaren to cancel anyone who tries to fart shame you by not breathing deeply.


Or just enjoy the smell so much it makes the farter uncomfortable.

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True story. Once I was waiting in line at the post office and an Indian guy in front of me decided to let out a MASSIVE fart. It was very unpleasant and VERY awkward. Everyone in the post office pretended it didn't happen.
 
macapala said:
True story. Once I was waiting in line at the post office and an Indian guy in front of me decided to let out a MASSIVE fart. It was very unpleasant and VERY awkward. Everyone in the post office pretended it didn't happen.
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one time an Indian removalist asked to use our toilet after helping us move house... he bolted having left half of a cement-like shat which i spent 30 gagging minutes resolving
 
Tschumi said:
one time an Indian removalist asked to use our toilet after helping us move house... he bolted having left half of a cement-like shat which i spent 30 gagging minutes resolving
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WTF. What a dirty cunt.
 
FunkMiller said:
Ask Scarlet Johansson for her autograph.
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tell me there's a gag edit of that opening scene to lost in translation with her seethrough panties.. PHONTf

---

i'm becoming more and more embarassed by my 'crack up' laugh, which is a snort.. i've done it my whole life i can't stop it but it genuinely scares people who aren't used to me and it's a problem lol... if someone did a huge fart, my cacophonous snort of laughter would probably be the thing most people remembered
 
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I can hear my husband's farts at the other end of our house and I just crack up every single time
I'm honestly a tad bit impressed how it is possible to let out such loud ones
 
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Probably be karma, once my brother and I ate beans, then had to take a trip to Walgreens, we stank up the whole joint, every aisle left a trail of trouble. We hurried to checkout leaving hell in in the frozen section. I only imagine the customers who entered after we left, taking any harmony with us.
 
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I ate canned Silverado Chili (I recommend, it's pretty good) a week or so ago before going to the gym to run. I ran 6 miles. The farts were pretty bad while I was running. Pro tip, if there are plenty of open treadmills don't get on one right next to some stranger. I don't mind when it's a woman, as I assume she got on the treadmill next to me because she thinks I'm cute. But if your some old dude, why are you getting on a treadmill next to me when half of them are empty? I'm tempted to complain about social distancing for once.

I'm going to try to avoid eating chili before I go to the gym to avoid this happening in the future, but man, I had some room clearers that day. I don't care that the gym was huge, and that the AC system and fans were on full blast, those were some really dank smells.
 
Vier said:
Do you eat it plain?

I recommend adding corn chips, shredded cheese, diced onion, and a dollop of sour cream on top. Pretty delicious.
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That is primarily a matter of how lazy I am and what happens to be in the fridge. I usually have shredded cheese or cheese squares, never tried sour cream but I will next time.
 
I don't know, maybe I'm very stupid but farts always make me laugh a lot (the smell a little less)
My wife always asks me how do I make them so loud ... workout baby. :pie_roffles:
 
Farawayfromhell said:
I don't know, maybe I'm very stupid but farts always make me laugh a lot (the smell a little less)
My wife always asks me how do I make them so loud ... workout baby. :pie_roffles:
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Cabbage and other gassy veggies here. Love the fluffy ones. No heat, lots of lift...mmm...just feel great coming out.
 
Only way to go is up.
I shart my pants without loosing eye contact with the dude and i tell him in my best cowboy accent :

 
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