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[Speevy]

I'm dumbfounded.

This was in the parking lot where I work.

Should I be concerned about more condiments? Like a whole hot dog smashed on there next week? I don't have any enemies, really. No one who would erm...relish doing me harm.

In all seriousness, does this sound like something random, stupid coworker prank, or kids?

Should I go all paranoid trying to sniff out the culprit at work or just let it go?

 

[malfcn]

Sure it's mayonnaise?

 

[chaobreaker]

Are you sure its mayonnaise?

EDIT: Dammit, malfcn.

 

[loaf of bread]

No pics?

 

[vagabondarts]

How do you know it's mayonnaise

 

[Log4Girlz]

Taste it to be sure

 

[ZeroX03]

How is there no pics

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

Does your work have cameras?

 

[PseudoKirby]

is it a Honda?

 

[Speevy]

There were mayonnaise packets all over the ground. I smelled it.

I thought it was bird crap at first, but then I said wow that's a lot of bird crap.

 

[Chobel]

Came here for the pics, WTF OP?

 

[smurfx]

maybe they thought you needed to eat a sandwich and all they had was mayonnaise. you're so ungrateful speevy.

 

[Shadybiz]

Hellman's or Miracle Whip?? Taste it OP, TASTE IT!!

....no that's fucked up, though. I hate mayonnaise; I'd be angered if it was smeared on my car.

 

[brokenbeans]

I think it's time to taste, grab some bread.

 

[wanderingprostheyltite]

There were mayonnaise packets all over the ground. I smelled it.

I thought it was bird crap at first, but then I said wow that's a lot of bird crap.

Sounds like a lot of mayo packets. I was imagining someone just scooping their hand into a big jar of it and just spreading it on lol.

 

[Speevy]

Does your work have cameras?

We're working on that. I'm not sure they see that far in the distance since I park pretty far back.

Sorry no pics.

 

[thefit]

Mayonnaise if good for windows, it helps bead away the rain.

 

[HalfwayOrb]

 

[BabyFaceKillah]

Fucking gross

 

[Zoned]

Disgusting

 

[Citizen_Insane]

There were mayonnaise packets all over the ground. I smelled it.

I thought it was bird crap at first, but then I said wow that's a lot of bird crap.

So instead of just emptying a jar of it, someone went through the effort of using individual packets? They must really hate you.

 

[Speevy]

So instead of just emptying a jar of it, someone went through the effort of using individual packets? They must really hate you.

You make an interesting point.

 

[v1lla21]

is it a Honda?

Have you done this before?

 

[akachan ningen]

Did you double park or something?

 

[bananas]

This person may owe you for... something... I dunno. I just wanted to make a pun but couldn't bring it home.

 

[Speevy]

Did you double park or something?

No, that's the weird thing. I've parked in the same place for what seems like forever, and have never had my car messed with.

 

[Daft Bird]

Clean your car, if it happens again talk to whoever has camera's over the parking lot and then find the SOB and put mayonnaise on him.

 

[EvetS]

Do you work at a sperm bank?

 

[rtcn63]

Smearing mayo on someone's windows takes a lot of self-loathing. Like, the perpetrator saw into their own reflection and felt so disgusted, that only the combined mixture of egg yolk and mustard could wash the filth away.

 

[Poodlestrike]

You make an interesting point.

Nah, it's possible they just didn't want to buy mayo for this, so they went and stole a crapton from somewhere. Pretty sure some Gaffers get all their condiments like that, actually.

Do you have any Gaf-enemies?

 

[RustyNails]

There's only one way to find out if it's mayo...

 

[Speevy]

Do you work at a sperm bank?

I'm gonna take this person to the bank...to the blood bank.

 

[BakedPigeon]

Someone finally figured out how to harness the power of the most vile tasting substance on the planet. We are all doomed. Cancel the show already.

 

[t-storm]

OP with no pics? I'd open a hundred packets and slather mayo all over your car too.

 

[Wag]

 

[djplaeskool]

Grab some ham and/or turkey sandwiches and GO TO TOWN

 

[v1lla21]

I smear this shit on my food sometimes.

 

[Narag]

Sounds like a dumb prank since it wasn't put on the paint.

 

[Speevy]

I didn't realize I was required by law to show you pics. I have failed you, clearly.


Here's a car with mayonnaise on it (not mine).

 

[Sifl]

I guess it could be a coworker prank if you work in the food industry. That or a group of people just felt like bukkaking your car.

 

[triplestation]

That's what I call fast food :^)

 

[NastyBook]

Right? I honestly don't even believe OP at this point.

 

[Apt101]

That's a new one in my book. I once had friends smear hot sauce all over the steering wheel cover of an old car. Funny at first until you touch your face and eyes. Then I wanted to kill them.

 

[immortal-joe]

Mayonnaise you say?

 

[Speevy]

Right? I honestly don't even believe OP at this point.

This isn't nearly funny enough to be one of those epic 100 page threads the OT likes so much. I'm afraid it really happened.

 

[EBE]

disgusting. mayonnaise has no place on any food, let alone on someone's car. i hope they catch the animal that did this, OP.

 

[rtcn63]

Speevy, aren't you a teacher? This could be some Coolio Dangerous Minds shit starting to boil over. You need to call your peoples, get that phone book armor ready.

 

[geomon]

 

[Speevy]

Speevy, aren't you a teacher? This could be some Coolio Dangerous Minds shit starting to boil over. You need to call your peoples, get that phone book armor ready.

I have two jobs. One as a teacher, the other working retail.

 

[BakedPigeon]

Ah fuck no...... Next time tag that shit NSFA (not safe for anywhere)