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[Tan]

Maybe it fell out of a window?

Maybe some kids walked by and couldn't find a garbage can nearby?

Maybe someone is trying to send you a message?

 

[Gintoki]

Maybe an ex

 

[Sharpeye]

I have two jobs. One as a teacher, the other working retail.

Could it be one of your students playing a prank on you?

 

[Iksenpets]

You offended someone in some very specific way, that demanded very specific punishment. Did you recently forget to ask for no mayo on someone's sandwich order? This seems like a fair reprisal for that.

 

[Despera]

Could it be one of your students playing a prank on you?

Yeah sounds like something a student would do out of spite.

 

[Switch Back 9]

The thead title by itself had me giggling.

 

[rtcn63]

If it was at his retail job, it would likely be a co-worker, unless a deranged customer has been stalking him as he left work. Wouldn't know what car he drove otherwise.

 

[EmSeta]

It's just window dressing

 

[Speevy]

Maybe someone is trying to send you a message?

Some men just want to watch the world burn.

 

[Deleted member 74300]

 

[FunkyMunkey]

you have been visited by the mayonnaise man how lucky. he will return to get his wishes soon

 

[vagabondarts]

It's just window dressing

Should have been the first reply

 

[Protag]

Mayonnaise you say?

Ughhhhh barf

 

[Stevetopsy]

That sucks. I feel for you tho. One day I came out to my car to see someone had dumped slurpee all over the handles on my car doors. For no reason at all. And it was long enough to where it was all dried and sticky.

 

[Sylverstone14]

Mayonnaise you say?

Hijikata is the best response to this.

I need to watch more Gintama.

 

[Jane Mansfield]

Did they used Miracle Whip? If something like that happen to my car and they use Miracle Whip, I'll fucking cut a bitch. That shit tastes nasty.

 

[Mister0079]

Mayonnaise you say?

this was my first thought when i clicked on this thread

 

[fredrancour]

Definitely sounds most likely to be bored or angry teenagers, in my opinion.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Did they used Miracle Whip? If something like that happen to my car and they use Miracle Whip, I'll fucking cut a bitch. That shit tastes nasty.

my dad once accidentally bought miracle whip. I made a chicken sandwich and couldn't eat it. It's vile.

 

[C4Lukins]

That is almost as bad as putting mayo on a hamburger. Or any other form of food for that matter.

 

[Marvel]

Low fat?

 

[Troubled Bat]

That is almost as bad as putting mayo on a hamburger. Or any other form of food for that matter.

Hey, Hey, Hey. Mayo & Ketchup is the best combination.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

That is almost as bad as putting mayo on a hamburger. Or any other form of food for that matter.

mayo is good on everything. everything.

 

[Rapstah]

Maybe you cut off someone on your way back from lunch and the guy was so pissed off he followed you to work and spread the 300 mayo packages he had just stolen on your car.

If you didn't drive to lunch then the reason why the guy had 300 mayo packages in his car gets sort of weird.

 

[Perspicacity]

Look, no one says you have to take a picture but it's super weird that you didn't.

 

[C4Lukins]

mayo is good on everything. everything.

My God you are a tool of Satan.

 

[C4Lukins]

Hey, Hey, Hey. Mayo & Ketchup is the best combination.

Holy shit. Just take a dump, between two pieces of cardboard, and serve it up. Ketchup is good with fries, and tater tots, and other fried foods. It ruins a hamburger. And to mix it with the rotten eggs that is mayo, you have created a super villain.

You do realize that mayo is rotten eggs that never spoil? Whatever they do to those rotten eggs, they will last forever. It is pure evil magic.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

 

[ElyrionX]

How are there no pics in the OP?

 

[Crimsonclaw111]

Ayy lmayo

 

[Roo]

Ayy lmayo

Well played

 

[no angel]

Take it as a condiment OP.

 

[Timedog]

I've eaten large quantities of mayonnaise in the same sitting many, many times, but it's gotta be Hellman's/Best Foods, man. Watching him do that with Great Value brand mayonnaise makes me want to barf.

 

[Clydefrog]

Straight into the fucking trash.

 

[Falcs]

You mean you didn't take any pics at all?
That's like rule number 1 of posting about weird shit on Neogaf, dude!

 

[fireworkfan]

Look out op Ketchup and Mustard are next!

 

[Copenap]

After a party night a friend bought like 4 sausages with ketchup and all, ate one, and threw the rest onto a random car. It's just stuff drunk people do.

 

[hobblygobbly]

... lick it to see if it's mayonnaise.

Oh boogie, too bad he got himself banned from GAF.

 

[hobblygobbly]

Woops, double post lol.

 

[Troubled Bat]

Holy shit. Just take a dump, between two pieces of cardboard, and serve it up. Ketchup is good with fries, and tater tots, and other fried foods. It ruins a hamburger. And to mix it with the rotten eggs that is mayo, you have created a super villain.

You do realize that mayo is rotten eggs that never spoil? Whatever they do to those rotten eggs, they will last forever. It is pure evil magic.

Let me ask you something. Have you ever had a burger with ketchup & mayo mixed in? If not. SHADDAP. xD

Hah, that stuff doesn't bother me. If I have some favorite food, and find out it's literally made of some specific shit later on. I'm still eating it.

Holy Shit. They have bottles of it?! BRB

 

[C4Lukins]

Let me ask you something. Have you ever had a burger with ketchup & mayo mixed in? If not. SHADDAP. xD

Hah, that stuff doesn't bother me. If I have some favorite food, and find out it's literally made of some specific shit later on. I'm still eating it.

I have.

And no amount of beef, cheese, onions, buns, fried egg, avocado, salsa, chili or mustard can overcome such devastating ingredients.

 

[jesu]

You must be ploughing a co-workers wife/husband and the co-worker has found out.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

Let me ask you something. Have you ever had a burger with ketchup & mayo mixed in? If not. SHADDAP. xD

Hah, that stuff doesn't bother me. If I have some favorite food, and find out it's literally made of some specific shit later on. I'm still eating it.



Holy Shit. They have bottles of it?! BRB

Use the term "rémoulade" and I guarantee you they will love it.

 

[Nitemare1]

I got the mustard once!. Ehhh what can you do. Some teenagers are dicks!
Gotta wash your car sometime!

 

[Transhuman]

So there's this sign in the bathroom at work, yeah? It says "Don't put bubblegum in the urinal". I don't chew bubblegum, let alone spit it in the urinal. I started getting really angry. The next few days every time I went to the bathroom I stared at that sign, trying to figure out why it was there. "Don't put bubblegum in the urinal". I started thinking about it before I went to sleep at night. I sleep on the top of a bunk bed really close to a fan, and everytime one of the blades whizzed by I'd think "bubblegum... bubblegum". How dare this fucking sign, that doesn't even know me, accuse me of putting chewing bubblegum and spitting it in a fucking urinal. I know it wasn't a rational thing to do, but one day I bought a bunch up packets of bubblegum (8), and tossed them in the urinal, unopened. I am still waiting for management to sit everyone down and talk to everyone about it.

Don't think too hard OP.

 

[NateDog]

This is going to turn into one of those threads where everyone keeps bumping looking for proof for months and OP never delivers.

 

[SpinningBirdKick]

You-are-already-dead.jpg

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

Just a heads up for people who are grossed out, he put vanilla pudding in an empty mayonnaise jar.

 

[Necromanti]

Just a heads up for people who are grossed out, he put vanilla pudding in an empty mayonnaise jar.

I don't know if that makes it any less disgusting.

 

[Shanlei91]

He should be privileged to have such a superior condiment smeared on his vehicle.

First thing I thought especially after reading "I don't have any enemies"