Mobile Suit Gundam 00: A Wakening of the Trailblazer
Here we go folks, grab your popcorn and watch me meltdown.
QUANTUM BRAINWAVES AND SHARED CONSCIOUSNESS. I know I should be used to this kind of explanation, but it's still actually retarded. As in my mental progress steps backward every time I hear it. 00 Quanta looks stupid as hell. Is Dynamis literally the only good looking Gundam in this entire show? It baffles me, as the mook suits, particularly in S1 when we weren't BS Super Robot Innovadater GN RAINBOW mode, were fine. Whycome the Gundams gotta look like crap in this series?
Oh well, it's still better than the godawful mecha designs in Gundam AGE.
Who is this golden dragon douchebag and why do I care? Terrible CG spaceships. What happened to Setsuna's voice? He doesn't sound the same at all. Oh it was a movie. Ooooookay.
UGH SAJI AND LOUISE. OF COURSE. And of course Princess Marina Ismail doing jack all, like always. How did Azadistan get to be a country again? I didn't understand that from the end of the show. And oh look that guy is a strawman evil businessman. Yay. Look at them sexy space suits. Form fitting and functional! Oh man the look on that assassin's face. A lecture from PMI! is definitely torture that should be against the Geneva convention.
Can somebody please explain to me HOW Aeolia Schenberg predicted that humans would grow glowy eyes and psychic powers? It's not just hard to believe, it's unbelievable. Patrick Koulisour has some womanly hips. Oh and the Federation is totally okay with living human computer terminals. No one raised an ethical question about this? Of course not, since nobody thinks like a human in 00. OH HEY LOOK IT'S SEPHIROTH.
And his name is Descartes Shaman. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. At least I have Patrick. "What can I say? Reading reports ain't my thing!" QUANTUMBRAINWAVESQUANTUMBRAINWAVESQUANTUMBRAINWAVES. Don't worry Patrick, nobody at home understood that either. "Do you believe that blah blah was because Aeolia Schenberg?" "Well, he can predict glowy eyed freaky humans and an alien invasion in the future, so I don't see why we don't attribute this to him, too."
Innovatorinnovadeinnovatorinnovadeinnovatorinnovadeinnovatorinnovadeinnovatorinnovade.
"SO THAT'S THE POWER OF A [INSERT POWER UP SETSUNA WILL USE TO AVOID DOING ANYTHING HIMSELF HERE]!!" Light purple hair and ambiguous frame? Definitely an Innovator. Or Innovade. It's not like the writers are sure anymore, either.
AND NOW BEHOLD AS CARS DRIVE THEMSELVES AND EXPLODE IN WAYS! CREEEEEPY! AND IT IS MAKING LOUISE uh, uncomfortable. SO HERE LOOK AT SCHOOL GIRLS EXPLODE
OH FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK CAN'T RIBBONS STAY DEAD? UGH. OH WHAT THE FUCK WHY IS NINA ALIVE AND WHY IS SHE ON PONYTAIL SCIENTIST AND HOW DOES HE KNOW HERE WHAT EVEN THE HELL. Now all we need is for them to resurrect Lockon or replace him with an identical Lockon who was still suckier than he was. They'd never do that to us though, would they?
Let's jump to conclusions and suppose the fragments moved on their own! It's ridiculous and therefore completely true. OH I AM NINA AND NOW TOTALLY A SCIENTIST BECAUSE I SAID SUBSTANTIATE. How did Nina become a scientist? The same way Louise became an ace pilot? HOW IS NINA STILL ALIVE?
It's hilarious that the only Gundam not set in an alternate universe is also the least believable. Oh and now Alleluia and Soma are hiking across Europe in their post graduation honeymoon phase. Oh please Louise' ridiculous problems are not PTSD. PTSD doesn't make you an ace fighter pilot.
LOL SAJI JUST TOOK OUT RIBBONS WITH A CHAIR. LOLOLOLOLOLOL Comedy of the year. The constant alien whirring noise is beginning to hurt my ears. This means I can expect to hear it for the remainder of the film nonstop on high volume. QUANTUM BRAINWAVE SWARM.
Gundam Dynamis? Oh no way did they just bring back OG Lockon from the dead? No, jeez, Setsuna AIM FOR THE HEAD HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN ZOMBIES? Way to tell us what we already know, Nina. Oh, so Aeolia's plan is still costing people lives? Lovely.
That's 40 minutes in and I need some sleep. Got a lot to do tomorrow.