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Stealth Anticipation Thread!!!
- Thread starter Matlock
- Start date
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DMczaf said:
Quick Summary of the post over on the other forum, since you guys can't view it.
Training with robot, Male Lead, Jessica Biel, and Jamie Foxx.
Robot does "cool stunt."
Jessica Biel is a pacifist in a fighter jet.
Robot gets struck by lightning.
Robot downloads mp3's and plays incubus.
Jamie Foxx fucks a transvestite.
Another fight against terrorists! Robot's still screwed, they send him out!
Terrorists surround themselves with innocents.
Robot says "haha, what the fuck ever" and destroys terrorists and innocents.
Robot goes off to kill more, Jamie Foxx tries to take him down with a missile (too close!) and flies into a mountain.
Jessica's plane wing malfunctions, falls off, plane self-destructs :lol
Guys in charge of the plane project try to kill male lead.
Male lead kills everyone and saves robot from reprogramming.
Male lead and robot love each other and go to save Jessica.
Male lead kills guys trying to get Jessica with missiles. 2 men, with only assault rifles, taken out by missiles. ...
Male lead lands, Jessica and he are alright! BUT WHAT IS THIS
Helicopter comes up, robot suicides into it
End
Robot does "cool stunt."
Jessica Biel is a pacifist in a fighter jet.
Robot gets struck by lightning.
Robot downloads mp3's and plays incubus.
Jamie Foxx fucks a transvestite.
Another fight against terrorists! Robot's still screwed, they send him out!
Terrorists surround themselves with innocents.
Robot says "haha, what the fuck ever" and destroys terrorists and innocents.
Robot goes off to kill more, Jamie Foxx tries to take him down with a missile (too close!) and flies into a mountain.
Jessica's plane wing malfunctions, falls off, plane self-destructs :lol
Guys in charge of the plane project try to kill male lead.
Male lead kills everyone and saves robot from reprogramming.
Male lead and robot love each other and go to save Jessica.
Male lead kills guys trying to get Jessica with missiles. 2 men, with only assault rifles, taken out by missiles. ...
Male lead lands, Jessica and he are alright! BUT WHAT IS THIS
Helicopter comes up, robot suicides into it
End
Aruarian Reflection
Chauffeur de la gdlk
I decided to take a screenshot of the DNA so nobody has to go through the misery of watching that trailer:
Ninja Scooter
Member
Somebody stole her ass!
Cauliflower of Love
Banned
She seriously needs to stop doing shoulder workouts. =/
Foreign Jackass
Member
Hey Changing Lanes and Out of Time were good flicks.
Kumiko Nikaido
Vindication...sweet.
After checking out the Stealth Preview DVD (free right now from Best Buy), I definitely I want to see this. The 10-minute, behind-the-scenes segment showed a lot more exciting footage and story plot than any of the film's current trailers. Hot stuff. 
Matlock said:Quick Summary of the post over on the other forum, since you guys can't view it.
Training with robot, Male Lead, Jessica Biel, and Jamie Foxx.
Robot does "cool stunt."
Jessica Biel is a pacifist in a fighter jet.
Robot gets struck by lightning.
Robot downloads mp3's and plays incubus.
Jamie Foxx fucks a transvestite.
Another fight against terrorists! Robot's still screwed, they send him out!
Terrorists surround themselves with innocents.
Robot says "haha, what the fuck ever" and destroys terrorists and innocents.
Robot goes off to kill more, Jamie Foxx tries to take him down with a missile (too close!) and flies into a mountain.
Jessica's plane wing malfunctions, falls off, plane self-destructs :lol
Guys in charge of the plane project try to kill male lead.
Male lead kills everyone and saves robot from reprogramming.
Male lead and robot love each other and go to save Jessica.
Male lead kills guys trying to get Jessica with missiles. 2 men, with only assault rifles, taken out by missiles. ...
Male lead lands, Jessica and he are alright! BUT WHAT IS THIS
Helicopter comes up, robot suicides into it
End
MOTY
EXCLUSIVE
first 4 minutes of STEALTH
http://media.filmforce.ign.com/media/040/040998/vids_1.html
i'm stoked!
first 4 minutes of STEALTH
http://media.filmforce.ign.com/media/040/040998/vids_1.html
i'm stoked!
I think the transvestite bit was a joke.
Also, in fairness, unlike, say, Catwoman -- Jamie Foxx signed on to this before Collateral and Ray were released. Still a bad idea, clearly.
I'm going to bet that this won't open nearly as badly, as, say The Island -- we can't be that lucky...
Also, in fairness, unlike, say, Catwoman -- Jamie Foxx signed on to this before Collateral and Ray were released. Still a bad idea, clearly.
I'm going to bet that this won't open nearly as badly, as, say The Island -- we can't be that lucky...
11% at Rotten Tomatoes right now.
The regrettable thing about this movie is that it was written by W. D. Richter (Buckaroo Banzai; Big Trouble in Little China). It sounds like he turned in a screenplay that was deliberately campy just like those, except that everyone else involved took it seriously. Too bad.
The regrettable thing about this movie is that it was written by W. D. Richter (Buckaroo Banzai; Big Trouble in Little China). It sounds like he turned in a screenplay that was deliberately campy just like those, except that everyone else involved took it seriously. Too bad.
vatstep
This poster pulses with an appeal so broad the typical restraints of our societies fall by the wayside.
I saw a TV spot for this yesterday with Jamie Foxx, shirtless, wearing sunglasses, jumping around and looking at himself in a mirror. I think he was also spinning a basketball on his finger and holding a lighter or something.
What the FUCK does have to with the movie? It was the most non-sensical scene I have EVER seen put into a spot/trailer. Is this supposed to make people want to see the movie?
What the FUCK does have to with the movie? It was the most non-sensical scene I have EVER seen put into a spot/trailer. Is this supposed to make people want to see the movie?
SpeedingUptoStop
will totally Facebook friend you! *giggle* *LOL*
You can be fucking serious :lolMatlock said:Quick Summary of the post over on the other forum, since you guys can't view it.
Robot downloads mp3's and plays incubus.
Jamie Foxx fucks a transvestite.
Jamie Foxx flies into a mountain.
Jessica's plane wing malfunctions, falls off, plane self-destructs :lol
Guys in charge of the plane project try to kill male lead.
Male lead kills everyone and saves robot from reprogramming.
Male lead and robot love each other and go to save Jessica.
Male lead kills guys trying to get Jessica with missiles. 2 men, with only assault rifles, taken out by missiles. ...
Male lead lands, Jessica and he are alright! BUT WHAT IS THIS
Helicopter comes up, robot suicides into it
End
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
Who cares? Yukikaze is shitfennec fox said:This movie is a huge ripoff of Yukikaze
Phoenix
Member
SPOILER FILLED SYNOPSIS
LONG VERSION
SHORT VERSION
SUMMARY
WORST SUMMER ACTION FILM- EVER!
LONG VERSION
Movie starts with an attack on some terrorist
They get blown up, but we find this is a training excercise... just with live missiles and bullet - sucks to be them
Terrorist site get blown up
Team goes back to training base
They make some lame jokes
They find out they are getting a 4th wingman but CO won't say who
They go to a public party while talking openly about their top secret project because they are upset about having another member
They get assigned to a carrier for training
On a dark and scary night the robot plane joins them
Its passed off as L33T
Captain of carrier reveals he doesn't like systems being rushed into action
They start off on a training excercise
They get a quick mission to blow up some terrorists in building in Rangoon
The lead pilot gets a chance to be leet by defeating the laws of physics and dropping precision munition at a velocity that it wouldn't survive through roof of building thereby preventing civilian casualties (though moments earlier we see them all around the building... guess it was just time for them to leave) - side plot is that the plane is learning bad habits from the l33t pilot
They go back to base, but on the way home there is an electrical storm (because they are attracted to intelligent robotics... which is why robots will never take over the world, their nemesis - the electrical storm will kill them all)
Plane is not only not struck by lightning, it is hit by lightning that struck another plan
They take the AI of the plane apart
"Tech Support" reveals that the plane has a problem but evil CO wants it to fly anyway for reasons unknown
CO sends the pilots on a vacation for no reason
Pilots arrive in Thailand
Revealed that lead pilot is hot for female pilot
Some more scenes apparently sent in from the Thailand Bureau of Tourism
Their pagers go off
Somehow they are teleported back to the ship fast enough so that no other of the thousands of stealth aircraft, bombers, or conventional bombers are able to respond
They get a briefing that 4 nuclear warheads are going to be attached to some SCUD launchers by some russian warlord
Next we have a candidate for the dumbest scene ever, warlords shown moving 4 warheads on muleback OUT IN THE OPEN - not even a tarp covers them. Guess they don't know much about satellite recon, but apparently know enough to reprogram nuclear warheads
Planes arive to the target but oh teh no, the fallout from the warheads would kill farmers in the area (I guess perhaps the folks on weather were sleeping when they planned this mission)
L33T pilot dude says no - robot says 'oh fuck that, I'm going to blow it up because I'M the l33T one'
Robot plane starts getting shot at
Other pilots assist
Bombs and such destroyed
Scene of amazing hurricane gust winds of nuclear waste descending on the farming towns
L33T pilot dude says 'robot plane you ignored me'
Robot plane says 'well you ignore people too, I'm going to go kill more stuff for no reason - see yah'
CO says 'hey I want my plane back' (though its unclear if he equipped his planes with some form of unmentioned tow cable)
RObot plane flys into mountains to evade pursuit
Jamie Foxx kills self NOOB style by firing a missile which hits mountain and he flys full speed into mountain wall
Romantic interest chick's plane starts crapping out
Oh teh no, she's over North Korea (you'd think they'd revector over FRIENDLY territory since they had been there up to this point)
Romantic interest chick (RIC) plane self-destructs (amazing) but not before RIC can eject almost getting hit by aircraft. FLaming debris falls from above her so she resets parachute to open at 2500 feet.
Gratuitous scenes of flaming parachute and debris... too bad no one in the theater cares if she lives or dies
(some people leave the theater)
Her chute catches fire and falls apart, but she uses jedi powers to only manage to get a few scratches on her body and face
CO says 'hey let the plane run out of fuel, don't let it refuel' at what is apparently some massive greenhouse in the sky that holds fuel and is all automated and robotic
Robot plans says 'fuck this noise' and uses cannon to shoot nozzle off fuel line. Stupid refueling tanker doesn't simply turn off the fuel so robot plane fuels up.
L33T pilot dude shows up and isn't curious why the refueling tanker is trailing fuel and going around in a circle
While he is refueling out of the clouds JAWS STYLE (No I'm not kidding) we see the tail fin of the robot plane who sets the fuel that's apparently lighter than and sitting in the clouds on fire
Gratuitous scene of flaming ring, l33t pilot dude escaping and then what shows up from space as a nuclear explosion (could hardly contain my laughter)
Plane Inventor guy somehow has the ability to get into the memory of the plane to learn that it plans to blow up some target from a hypothetical war plan scenario - but amazingly has no way to stop the plan, or I dunno - just tell it to fly home
L33t pilot guy talks robot plane into following him
Oh t3h no - its the russkies sending up antiquated planes to intercept
They blow up the russians - easily and apparently the russians are cool with that because they never get upset or send any more planes or I dunno - declare war or anything
Robot plane after many many aerobatic maneuvers and VTOL actions is seriously wounded by a large and slowly moving piece of debris setting the inside of it on fire
L33t pilot guy says 'hey I could blow you up - follow me or burn up....' because its all good that robot plane killed a friend and possibly is responsible for the death of RIC
L33t pilot guy drops a bomb into the water and the explosion puts out the fire on robot plane
Meanwhile in the other stupid subplot - CO talks with mysterious washington guy who says 'fuck you dude - you need to kill everyone or we're screwed' although there are countless witness in the program who all heard the radio traffic
CO tells l33t pilot dude to land in some base in alaska
robot plane and l33t pilot dude both get to alaska but l33t pilot dude's plane has to crash land
Meanwhile in the other stupid subplot - RIC drinks some water and is spotted by a native girl who screams... apparently loud enough to bring North Korean special forces to this absolutely remote region in the mountains only moments later (since we see RIC a scant 4-500 yards away when the NK special forces arrive by helicopter)
L33t NK special forces leader starts tracking RIC, and with sniper rifle shoots her one time in the shoulder ... because RIC is slow... slow as hell
She does manage to find a rock surface that conforms to her body, however, and manages to shoot off 2 bursts from her gun - wounding L33T NK special forces leader and he and ALL his soldiers run in the other direction
Meanwhile in the stupid main plot - Evil CO has told evil base staff they need to kill the pilot. Never mind the fact that they could have put two in his skull while he was in his plane. Using special king foo action grip, L33T pilot kills evil doctor (though perhaps he should have known something was up when he saw several torture tables at base Alaskan evil) acquires a weapon
We see that inventor guy is here and evil CO wants him to erase the planes memory (I asume he has men in black technology to erase the memories of the rest of the carrier crew)
L33t pilot kills the people defending inventor guy and gets in robot plane's cockpit which comes equipped with a pilots stick although there is absolutely no need for it AT ALL. His goal is to get to RIC.
L33T pilot dude calls the captain of the carrier and says - 'hey CO did some bad stuff'
Good wise captain goes with marines to arrest evil CO. CO says 'hey can I use the bathroom first', calls evil mysterious washington guy, then kills himself.
Finally at least one stupid subplot has ended
Meanwhile in North Korea, RIC has made it all the fucking way to the north korea/south korea DMZ after being shot and should probably be in shock from blood loss - but her determination allows her to live just long enough to get to the DMZ (which BTW is full of a shitload of mines) and get spotted by the one guard tower which is using flares and a spotlight to see people. Guess the NKs just haven't invested in infra red. Anyways he spots her because he sees waves in a pool of water (which apparently NEVER happens any other time) and at the same time the North Korean special forces that were chasing her show up at the same time and she is trapped.
But have no fear - L33t pilot guy riding in robot plane arrive just in time to fire their last missiles to blow up the guard tower and the soldiers all huddled together in the treeline.
Robot plane lands and there is a reunion.
L33T NK special forces guy was apparently not leading his forces when they got killed because he shows up with a bandaged wound and a sniper rifle. L33T pilot guy kills kim with a rocket launcher which catapults him into a barbed wire fence.
But oh t3h intense no, a HIND helicopter variant shows up. RObot plane sacrifices himself, showing that he was human after all... a slow motion ball of fire descends (and I'm sure most of us in the theater hoped it would set us ablaze for being in this movie for THIS long) and then on the carrier we have the funeral for Jamie Foxxs character as opposed to war with Russia and North Korea.
I go home and take a crap that was far more entertaining than this film.
They get blown up, but we find this is a training excercise... just with live missiles and bullet - sucks to be them
Terrorist site get blown up
Team goes back to training base
They make some lame jokes
They find out they are getting a 4th wingman but CO won't say who
They go to a public party while talking openly about their top secret project because they are upset about having another member
They get assigned to a carrier for training
On a dark and scary night the robot plane joins them
Its passed off as L33T
Captain of carrier reveals he doesn't like systems being rushed into action
They start off on a training excercise
They get a quick mission to blow up some terrorists in building in Rangoon
The lead pilot gets a chance to be leet by defeating the laws of physics and dropping precision munition at a velocity that it wouldn't survive through roof of building thereby preventing civilian casualties (though moments earlier we see them all around the building... guess it was just time for them to leave) - side plot is that the plane is learning bad habits from the l33t pilot
They go back to base, but on the way home there is an electrical storm (because they are attracted to intelligent robotics... which is why robots will never take over the world, their nemesis - the electrical storm will kill them all)
Plane is not only not struck by lightning, it is hit by lightning that struck another plan
They take the AI of the plane apart
"Tech Support" reveals that the plane has a problem but evil CO wants it to fly anyway for reasons unknown
CO sends the pilots on a vacation for no reason
Pilots arrive in Thailand
Revealed that lead pilot is hot for female pilot
Some more scenes apparently sent in from the Thailand Bureau of Tourism
Their pagers go off
Somehow they are teleported back to the ship fast enough so that no other of the thousands of stealth aircraft, bombers, or conventional bombers are able to respond
They get a briefing that 4 nuclear warheads are going to be attached to some SCUD launchers by some russian warlord
Next we have a candidate for the dumbest scene ever, warlords shown moving 4 warheads on muleback OUT IN THE OPEN - not even a tarp covers them. Guess they don't know much about satellite recon, but apparently know enough to reprogram nuclear warheads
Planes arive to the target but oh teh no, the fallout from the warheads would kill farmers in the area (I guess perhaps the folks on weather were sleeping when they planned this mission)
L33T pilot dude says no - robot says 'oh fuck that, I'm going to blow it up because I'M the l33T one'
Robot plane starts getting shot at
Other pilots assist
Bombs and such destroyed
Scene of amazing hurricane gust winds of nuclear waste descending on the farming towns
L33T pilot dude says 'robot plane you ignored me'
Robot plane says 'well you ignore people too, I'm going to go kill more stuff for no reason - see yah'
CO says 'hey I want my plane back' (though its unclear if he equipped his planes with some form of unmentioned tow cable)
RObot plane flys into mountains to evade pursuit
Jamie Foxx kills self NOOB style by firing a missile which hits mountain and he flys full speed into mountain wall
Romantic interest chick's plane starts crapping out
Oh teh no, she's over North Korea (you'd think they'd revector over FRIENDLY territory since they had been there up to this point)
Romantic interest chick (RIC) plane self-destructs (amazing) but not before RIC can eject almost getting hit by aircraft. FLaming debris falls from above her so she resets parachute to open at 2500 feet.
Gratuitous scenes of flaming parachute and debris... too bad no one in the theater cares if she lives or dies
(some people leave the theater)
Her chute catches fire and falls apart, but she uses jedi powers to only manage to get a few scratches on her body and face
CO says 'hey let the plane run out of fuel, don't let it refuel' at what is apparently some massive greenhouse in the sky that holds fuel and is all automated and robotic
Robot plans says 'fuck this noise' and uses cannon to shoot nozzle off fuel line. Stupid refueling tanker doesn't simply turn off the fuel so robot plane fuels up.
L33T pilot dude shows up and isn't curious why the refueling tanker is trailing fuel and going around in a circle
While he is refueling out of the clouds JAWS STYLE (No I'm not kidding) we see the tail fin of the robot plane who sets the fuel that's apparently lighter than and sitting in the clouds on fire
Gratuitous scene of flaming ring, l33t pilot dude escaping and then what shows up from space as a nuclear explosion (could hardly contain my laughter)
Plane Inventor guy somehow has the ability to get into the memory of the plane to learn that it plans to blow up some target from a hypothetical war plan scenario - but amazingly has no way to stop the plan, or I dunno - just tell it to fly home
L33t pilot guy talks robot plane into following him
Oh t3h no - its the russkies sending up antiquated planes to intercept
They blow up the russians - easily and apparently the russians are cool with that because they never get upset or send any more planes or I dunno - declare war or anything
Robot plane after many many aerobatic maneuvers and VTOL actions is seriously wounded by a large and slowly moving piece of debris setting the inside of it on fire
L33t pilot guy says 'hey I could blow you up - follow me or burn up....' because its all good that robot plane killed a friend and possibly is responsible for the death of RIC
L33t pilot guy drops a bomb into the water and the explosion puts out the fire on robot plane
Meanwhile in the other stupid subplot - CO talks with mysterious washington guy who says 'fuck you dude - you need to kill everyone or we're screwed' although there are countless witness in the program who all heard the radio traffic
CO tells l33t pilot dude to land in some base in alaska
robot plane and l33t pilot dude both get to alaska but l33t pilot dude's plane has to crash land
Meanwhile in the other stupid subplot - RIC drinks some water and is spotted by a native girl who screams... apparently loud enough to bring North Korean special forces to this absolutely remote region in the mountains only moments later (since we see RIC a scant 4-500 yards away when the NK special forces arrive by helicopter)
L33t NK special forces leader starts tracking RIC, and with sniper rifle shoots her one time in the shoulder ... because RIC is slow... slow as hell
She does manage to find a rock surface that conforms to her body, however, and manages to shoot off 2 bursts from her gun - wounding L33T NK special forces leader and he and ALL his soldiers run in the other direction
Meanwhile in the stupid main plot - Evil CO has told evil base staff they need to kill the pilot. Never mind the fact that they could have put two in his skull while he was in his plane. Using special king foo action grip, L33T pilot kills evil doctor (though perhaps he should have known something was up when he saw several torture tables at base Alaskan evil) acquires a weapon
We see that inventor guy is here and evil CO wants him to erase the planes memory (I asume he has men in black technology to erase the memories of the rest of the carrier crew)
L33t pilot kills the people defending inventor guy and gets in robot plane's cockpit which comes equipped with a pilots stick although there is absolutely no need for it AT ALL. His goal is to get to RIC.
L33T pilot dude calls the captain of the carrier and says - 'hey CO did some bad stuff'
Good wise captain goes with marines to arrest evil CO. CO says 'hey can I use the bathroom first', calls evil mysterious washington guy, then kills himself.
Finally at least one stupid subplot has ended
Meanwhile in North Korea, RIC has made it all the fucking way to the north korea/south korea DMZ after being shot and should probably be in shock from blood loss - but her determination allows her to live just long enough to get to the DMZ (which BTW is full of a shitload of mines) and get spotted by the one guard tower which is using flares and a spotlight to see people. Guess the NKs just haven't invested in infra red. Anyways he spots her because he sees waves in a pool of water (which apparently NEVER happens any other time) and at the same time the North Korean special forces that were chasing her show up at the same time and she is trapped.
But have no fear - L33t pilot guy riding in robot plane arrive just in time to fire their last missiles to blow up the guard tower and the soldiers all huddled together in the treeline.
Robot plane lands and there is a reunion.
L33T NK special forces guy was apparently not leading his forces when they got killed because he shows up with a bandaged wound and a sniper rifle. L33T pilot guy kills kim with a rocket launcher which catapults him into a barbed wire fence.
But oh t3h intense no, a HIND helicopter variant shows up. RObot plane sacrifices himself, showing that he was human after all... a slow motion ball of fire descends (and I'm sure most of us in the theater hoped it would set us ablaze for being in this movie for THIS long) and then on the carrier we have the funeral for Jamie Foxxs character as opposed to war with Russia and North Korea.
I go home and take a crap that was far more entertaining than this film.
SHORT VERSION
There are these leet pilots
They get joined by this leet robot plane
People have sex
They kill some innocent people
Theres some explosions
Lighting makes the plane go crazy
Jamie Foxx gets killed
SOme more explosions
A rescue scene
A 'AIs are human after all scene'
It ends
....
and a lot of people look pissed
They get joined by this leet robot plane
People have sex
They kill some innocent people
Theres some explosions
Lighting makes the plane go crazy
Jamie Foxx gets killed
SOme more explosions
A rescue scene
A 'AIs are human after all scene'
It ends
....
and a lot of people look pissed
SUMMARY
WORST SUMMER ACTION FILM- EVER!
Aww man, i went to see this thinking i could come into this thread and argue that we shouldnt rag on the few action films we get that arent comic book adaptations....
But i cant, that was just a god awful film
It was Top Gun meets Short Circuit..in the worst way you can imagine.
And the last line?
Did have one good bit though, when Foxe crashed into a mountain one of my friends i was watching with said "Guess Ray didnt see that one comin'"....that was the most entertained i was for the entire (what seemed like) 10 million years of the movie.
But i cant, that was just a god awful film
It was Top Gun meets Short Circuit..in the worst way you can imagine.
And the last line?
Biel to Lucas: Just tell me you love me you pussy
Did have one good bit though, when Foxe crashed into a mountain one of my friends i was watching with said "Guess Ray didnt see that one comin'"....that was the most entertained i was for the entire (what seemed like) 10 million years of the movie.
Warm Machine
Member
Still haven't seen Stealth but I've heard the initial trailers are a big lie as to what actually happens in the movie.
here is a better Beil picture, slightly not work safe
http://www.desktopia.com/ImageFolio3_files/gallery/Female_Models/Jessica_Beil/34095.jpg
Edited for my safety.
http://www.desktopia.com/ImageFolio3_files/gallery/Female_Models/Jessica_Beil/34095.jpg
Edited for my safety.
teruterubozu
Member
I saw Ebert & Roeper last night and they gave it two thumbs down.
Funny thing is Ebert says that Jamie Foxx isn't even the main guy and that the trailers showed nothing but him because of "Ray". He said Jamie is like the "fifth" wheel in the movie. Hahahaha!
Funny thing is Ebert says that Jamie Foxx isn't even the main guy and that the trailers showed nothing but him because of "Ray". He said Jamie is like the "fifth" wheel in the movie. Hahahaha!
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