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[hydrophilic attack]

A Swedish police investigator has dropped a case involving an ice hockey player accused of groping and molesting a woman at a night club, claiming the man could not be held accountable because of the woman’s “gigantic breasts”. The decision, reported to the Swedish newspaper Expressen, has left the country shocked, and the player has been suspended by the Björklöven hockey club.

The alleged incident took place on Saturday night, when the woman accused the player of sexual molestation at the night club in Östersund, northern Sweden. Investigator Mikael Lundberg, after speaking to the woman and witnesses, said there was no proof of their assertions, offering a now much-ridiculed reasons for why the player had not intentionally groped the woman.

“With regard to the sexual molestation, [the two women] were standing at a bar table and then he comes along drunk and drapes his arms around both of them from behind, and then he happens to touch one of their breasts. And it should be noted that they had gigantic breasts,” the police officer said. “It wasn’t hard to brush up against them. If you’re drunk and drape yourself over someone, well... you can understand how it might have happened.”

Obviously this caused quite a stir. The police officer in question later tried to explain himself to provide some clarity of the intent of his comments (translation mine) :

Breast size is generally a relevant factor although not specifically in this case. It is not what caused us to drop this case, this notion that she had only herself to blame for the size of her breasts. This was just a, possibly insensitive, way to illustrate the lack of intent. The same thing could have been said for someone with a fat ass. If I’m walking down this corridor and accidentally brush up against a woman’s ass due to its enormous size, that increases the risk. You know, it’s the same metaphor. But if your buttocks are very skinny, the risk of me bumping into your ass is lower.

Source

Source for further comments (in Swedish): here

 

[BronsonLee]

The Swedes confirmed to have no idea how to handle themselves around ass and titties

 

[zoukka]

The same thing could have been said for someone with a fat ass. If I’m walking down this corridor and accidentally brush up against a woman’s ass due to its enormous size, that increases the risk. You know, it’s the same metaphor. But if your buttocks are very skinny, the risk of me bumping into your ass is lower.

lmao

 

[makingmusic476]

I didn't grab them! They jumped into my hands!

 

[Viewt]

Really? The "I didn't touch your boob, your boob touched my hand" defense?

I suppose they also turn away theft victims because "finders keepers."

 

[Htown]

“With regard to the sexual molestation, [the two women] were standing at a bar table and then he comes along drunk and drapes his arms around both of them from behind, and then he happens to touch one of their breasts. And it should be noted that they had gigantic breasts,” the police officer said. “It wasn’t hard to brush up against them.

okay this sounds bad, but maybe he just misspoke a bit

let's give him the benefit of the

the same thing could have been said for someone with a fat ass. If I’m walking down this corridor and accidentally brush up against a woman’s ass due to its enormous size, that increases the risk. You know, it’s the same metaphor. But if your buttocks are very skinny, the risk of me bumping into your ass is lower.

Not. Helping.

 

[collige]

I mean, that's a reasonable explanation if he didn't actually intentionally grope her, but somehow I doubt that's the case. The clarification is hilarious though because he thought that it would actually make it better.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Follow-up Explanation of the Year!

 

[ClosingADoor]

Huh... And then this:

“The decision [to drop the case] relates to the perpetrator’s subjective intent. The fact that he was very drunk and couldn’t control his own body... that can happen. But breast size shouldn’t influence a decision regarding intent.”

No, you are still responsible for your actions when drunk. These people are not good with words.

But it seems it was more of an accidental brush against her breasts then groping her it seems?

 

[bjork]

Björklöven

This is a good name

 

[FTF]

lol that's ridiculous...that's like being lenient on a drunk driver who crashed into a bus as opposed to a sports car.

 

[Beardz]

I doubt that's the case.

Why?

 

[Ray Wonder]

So he put his arm around a couple girls at a bar and accidentally touched a boob and they pressed charges? Damn. Wrong ones you tried to flirt with there. Though, it is invading private space, and she has the right to do that I guess.

Funny reasoning from the cop though

 

[darscot]

Without a corroborating witness, I couldn't convict someone of this. It goes both ways, I fucking hate the fat girl titty rub but don't think they should get prosecuted for it.

 

[Viewt]

"I mean, hey officer, I couldn't help but embezzle those funds. There was so much money! You walk around with your wallet open, and some might just fall in, ya know?"

"Hmmm. OK, that makes sense."

 

[SliceSabre]

And it should be noted that they had gigantic breasts,” the police officer said. “It wasn’t hard to brush up against them.

This fucking part. Like holy shit what fucking cop would say some shit like that in a molestation case!?

 

[David Incorporated Esq.]

So it's okay to drape yourself over a couple of strangers so long as you don't touch their breasts?

Okay Sweden.

Now while it's not acceptable and rude as fuck, what a strange thing to press charges for.

 

[ColdLasagna]

Sweden. On my way. lol.

 

[studyguy]

What do they say about magnum dongs?

Sorry officer I couldn't avoid jabbing her with my dick because it's so fucking massive seems like a poor excuse.

 

[collige]

Why?

Because the woman probably wouldn't have reported it if it was just an accidental drunk brushing of her tits. It's worth noting that this is the detective making up the scenario, not the player himself defending his actions.

 

[Ivan 3414]

Because the woman probably wouldn't have reported it if it was just an accidental drunk brushing of her tits.

Probably?

 

[skelekey]

The same thing could have been said for someone with a fat ass. If I’m walking down this corridor and accidentally brush up against a woman’s ass due to its enormous size, that increases the risk. You know, it’s the same metaphor. But if your buttocks are very skinny, the risk of me bumping into your ass is lower.

I deal with this at work nearly every day. Two woman I work with have unreal backsides. It can be a challenge to avoid them.

 

[psynergylover]

And the L award for the day goes to....

 

[Slayven]

Their reasoning was "Did you see those Tig Ol Bitties?"

 

[zoukka]

Probably?

Yes, more likely than the other scenario presented here.

 

[rpmurphy]

Sweden buying into anime logic.

 

[Palmer_v1]

For some reason I thought this was going to be a child molestation/statutory rape thing.

This isn't quite as bad, at least.

 

[Iorv3th]

Makes sense but not sure in this context.

 

[Pandora012]

That last quote. I can't stop laughing.

 

[Imperfected]

Listen, I'm not saying it's your fault, I'm just saying the odds of me touching your butt go up exponentially if the ass is phat.

 

[dragonflys545]

This shit happens a lot in packed public transportations.

 

[Dubbedinenglish]

I guess those evil brown people harassment stories make sense now. They should've use the "dem some tig ol'bitties" defense!

 

[CadetMahoney]

Anime logic.

#dead

 

[blakep267]

Your honor, I'd like to use the "they were unavoidable defense"

 

[joe2187]

Your honor, I'd like to use the "they were unavoidable defense"

 

[M52B28]

This reminds me of one post on this forum that mentions how a guy ran into his teacher at a nightclub and his dick kept rubbing on her ass.

 

[SturokBGD]

I have gigantic breasts AND a fat ass and this never happens to me. That's shady, Sweden.

 

[TheYanger]

Huh... And then this:



No, you are still responsible for your actions when drunk. These people are not good with words.

But it seems it was more of an accidental brush against her breasts then groping her it seems?

Correct. He wasn't in control of his own body as in, couldn't stand up straight and walk in a line, not 'HIS BODY MADE HIM GROPE THIS WOMAN' full on grabbing.

These guys really can't explain themselves well, but the logic is sound - just horribly worded.

 

[Trojita]

he comes along drunk and drapes his arms around both of them from behind

Wait, he touched them from behind?

That's not a mistake.

 

[SoRuffShoNuff]

The same thing could have been said for someone with a fat ass. If I’m walking down this corridor and accidentally brush up against a woman’s ass due to its enormous size, that increases the risk. You know, it’s the same metaphor. But if your buttocks are very skinny, the risk of me bumping into your ass is lower.

I deal with this at work nearly every day. Two woman I work with have unreal backsides. It can be a challenge to avoid them.

Yeah we had to deal with this at a former job. There was one woman who had an ass like the porn star Cherokee and you had to take special care not to brush behind her if you walked past because she would assume you were trying to get a cheap feel. It was kinda awkward because if she was standing in front of the printer we would walk the long way around just to avoid the situation entirely. If any other woman was standing there the men would just squeeze by and nobody would think anything of it.

So yeah, the ass comment in the OP sounds absurd but I've lived through that situation for a significant portion of my life.

 

[GrantDaNasty]

Holy shit. The explanation and later clarification. Dude has no tact, clearly has no idea why people are angry at his earlier statement either.

 

[Aiustis]

Having had guys do this to me on multiple occasions...It's very likely that this wasn't a mistake. They put an arm around you to cop a feel and it's very different from an accidental brush.

 

[Pendas]

Sound like they couldn't prove intent. I've been to plenty of clubs and you brush up against random asses and boobs all the time. Those places are jam packed.

Believe it or not it is possible to accidentally touch something without intending to do so.

 

[whitehawk]

So he's saying he put his arm around their shoulders and the tits were so big it was impossible to avoid contact. How big were these tits?!

 

[Akronis]

So he's saying he put his arm around their shoulders and the tits were so big it was impossible to avoid contact. How big were these tits?!

beachballs, clearly.

 

[Trojita]

Sound like they couldn't prove intent. I've been to plenty of clubs and you brush up against random asses and boobs all the time. Those places are jam packed.

Believe it or not it is possible to accidentally touch something without intending to do so.

From the back?

 

[HStallion]

I have this same issue with my penis. People just keep tripping over it.

 

[ReAxion]

This is a good name

the swedish McLovin

 

[The Kree]

He could control his own body just fine while he was pouring all that alcohol into it.

 

[Jenov]