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The age of moving out of your parents house

Nico_D

Nico_D

Member
So... I was googling about what Moving Out game is like and if I should play it with the kids. Instead I found this.

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Reading some more, I found discussions where people from US are asking when is a good time to move out and people telling them around 30.

I'm from Finland and I moved to live on my own when I was 17 and it was fine, loved it. That's a bit earlier than what is usual but generally it is closer to 20 for men (after the army) and probably a bit earlier for women. That statistic shows the average being around 22.

Looking at that chart, there's a huge difference. Now, I have two kids and personally I think when they are 18, it's fuck off time unless there's a good reason. Not because I wouldn't want them to stay (umm...) but because sooner they get started with their own life, the better. I think.

What do people here think? What's the "right" time to kick the kids off the house, when did you move to live on your own? Is there really such a big cultural difference between countries?
 
nush

nush

Member
In the Uk when I was young it was generally around 18 - 20 when most people moved out of their parents home. The problem now is that young people can't afford to move out with even rental prices so high. Unfortunately you are right, you do need to leave your parents home in order to grow and find new experiences, make your own rules and live hard to toughen up.
 
Patrick S.

Patrick S.

Banned
You never kick out your children unless they're assholes, and you never put your elderly parents in a senior home but take them in and care for them as a family.

That's how it should be, ideally, and when I lived in Spain, I've seen that work very well. Households with three or four generations of a family living in them are not unusual at all.
 
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J

JimmyRustler

Member
I lived with my mom waaaaayyyyy too long looking back (29). However, I did want to leave earlier but it was a bit of complicated situation whereas I didn’t really live at home but together with my mom. Meaning, I paid half the rent and stuff. I couldn’t just leave because there was no way she could have paid the flat on her own.

Anyway, got lucky that a new apartment house was build nearby ans we both got new flats. Fast forward 7 years I don‘t even talk to her any more. lol

Not everyone is so lucky though. Depending on where you live having an own flat is very expensive and no everyone can afford it. So if you do not have a girlfriend with whom you can live it only makes sense to stay at home. There’s just no way around it.
It‘s a real shame that having your own flat is often too expensive for most as living on your own is amazing for character development (figuring out what you want, gaining appreciation about what it takes to do the household).
 
nush

nush

Member
JimmyRustler said:
It‘s a real shame that having your own flat is often too expensive for most as living on your own is amazing for character development (figuring out what you want, gaining appreciation about what it takes to do the household).
Click to expand...

You learn so much, that your parents should be teaching you how to do but didn't. Like how to manage home finances being pretty important. Having to do everything by yourself, and if it's not done it IS your own fault. It was great when one of your friends was first to get thier own flat and then you all had somewhere to hang out. A real motivator to get your own place.
 
Mistake

Mistake

Member
It’s different for everyone, especially once your parents start aging. I think it’s best to get out in the world asap and live a little, which is what I did. Culturally though, having multiple generations under one roof doesn’t really fly in the US, where as in other countries it might not matter as much
 
AJUMP23

AJUMP23

Parody of actual AJUMP23
I was asked to leave at 20 so I did. You need to leave by the time you finish college in my opinion.

My dad told me I could move home when I finished school. But I knew that wouldn’t work so I found an apartment. My parents as a graduation gift bought my furniture. About 5 grand.
 
Kev Kev

Kev Kev

Member
depends on the culture of the place you live and your specific situation

my spanish professor in college had to live abroad for seevral years in order to obtain his phd, and he said in some spanish speaking countries its very common for adults to live with their parents well into their thirties. while in america its encouraged to be out of your parents house by 22 or so. anything after that and youre encroaching on loser territory..

and in my personal situation, im moving back in with my mom bc my dad divorced her and i dont want her to be alone.

under "normal" circumstances in an american home, id say 25 is the absolute latest that most people would find acceptable. but that could change with a shitty economy and a recession looming on the horizon
 
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Kenpachii

Kenpachii

Member
Left at 28, most of my friends left at 25, i know people around the 40 married still live with parents because of the housing market, yet they took over the entire house costs etc and have a entire floor of the house for themselves. Hell i solicitated for some job and people got asked if they had a house for themselves they all where older then me 35+ and all lived with there parents because nobody could afford a house.

Reason why leaving at 28, is simple. dad was alone liked to have somebody around instead of talking to a wall. He paid for my living costs obviously and food while i went to college and did some money building + make my own company along the way.

If you get kids, u will have them for the rest of your life. If you kick your kids out at 18 in my area u are basically seen as a degenerate that puts your kids in unnecessary debt or your kids are massive failures or really hate your kids as its impossible here to get a house at that age or get financial solutions going that don't put them in a absolute dog shit situation of being poor. Unless you obviously help them financially which is hard to do for parents these days.
 
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haxan7

haxan7

Banned
I moved out for college at 26 then permanently at 28.

I know people who are so independent they left as soon as they could at 18 and can’t fathom having stayed longer than that. More people should be that way imo.
 
Mistake

Mistake

Member
Kenpachii said:
Left at 28, most of my friends left at 25, i know people around the 40 married still live with parents because of the housing market, yet they took over the entire house costs etc and have a entire floor of the house for themselves. Hell i solicitated for some job and people got asked if they had a house for themselves they all where older then me 35+ and all lived with there parents because nobody could afford a house.

Reason why leaving at 28, is simple. dad was alone liked to have somebody around instead of talking to a wall. He paid for my living costs obviously and food while i went to college and did some money building + make my own company along the way.

If you get kids, u will have them for the rest of your life. If you kick your kids out at 18 in my area u are basically seen as a degenerate that puts your kids in unnecessary debt or your kids are massive failures or really hate your kids as its impossible here to get a house at that age or get financial solutions going that don't put them in a absolute dog shit situation of being poor. Unless you obviously help them financially which is hard to do for parents these days.
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I had my own apartment after I moved out at 18. Close to work too, so I was very lucky. I would have put myself through college, but for some reason financial assistance considers you dependent until 25 unless you were emancipated. Complete bs.

I understand kicking out kids right now could be harsh with the economy, but in better times I’m more of the “where there is a will, there’s a way” mindset
 
Batiman

Batiman

Banned
I’d say they should be out by 23 the latest. Then again this generation has it a lot harder with the house market. At least here in Toronto.
 
InterMusketeer

InterMusketeer

Member
I moved out when I was 25. Things just lined up that way and I was able to prepare and save up some cash for furniture and stuff.

The economy and housing market have changed though, so I wouldn't be surprised if kids start moving out later.
 
Kenpachii

Kenpachii

Member
Mistake said:
I had my own apartment after I moved out at 18. Close to work too, so I was very lucky. I would have put myself through college, but for some reason financial assistance considers you dependent until 25 unless you were emancipated. Complete bs.

I understand kicking out kids right now could be harsh with the economy, but in better times I’m more of the “where there is a will, there’s a way” mindset
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As 18 year old u honestly earn like what ~1000-1400 euro's here. Rent here goes for 1300 already if u even can find a house to start with, u can only write yourself in at 18 in most government support homes which takes general ~10-15 years written in, buying a house u need atleast 2 years of stable 3k income which u won't get anywhere near close at that point and have 2 incomes which also isn't the case.

Unless the kid is going to hug up with other kids in a house ( won't happen if you are not a student, as nobody wants you there ) and make massive debt while at it which sets him back even more by going into heavy lones u are fucking your kid up completely for its future. I know tons of friends that have 100k+ debt and are fucked by it because of it at a later stage in there life, where the parents are now taking care of there grandkids 24/7 as both have to work practically constantly. And if there parents don't agree with it, its rip the house and back into parents home.

The only kids i know that left at 18 or a bit above it are either heavy abused and government supported, or are heavy supported by there parents like my sister was. Which very very very little parents can pull off as they also have there own financial problems.
 
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NeoIkaruGAF

NeoIkaruGAF

Gold Member
There’s countries above Italy on the chart? Wow.

It’s nice to leave early if you can afford it, but some countries (like US and Scandinavian countries) with their welfare, their services and/or their taxation simply cannot understand that the cost of leaving your parents’ house is really prohibitive in other parts of the world, unless your parents keep supporting you financially and more. An entry-level job just isn’t enough to make it alone in Italy, be it for the price of rents, the ridiculous taxes, and the almost absolute necessity of owning your own car. Sure, you may leave home, but very few can do it and actually be completely independent, and if you can’t be independent, it’s much cheaper for your parents to just keep you with them, unless they own other houses and let you live in one of those rent-free.
 
QSD

QSD

Member
I left at 18 and found a room to rent in Amsterdam. That was 1997. Shit is completely impossible now, which is tragic as it IS actually quite beneficial for your personal development to get out on your own.
 
nkarafo

nkarafo

Member
The worst thing is having to get back at your parents house after realising there is no way to afford a home of your own anymore.

This is a common thing in Greece for unmarried/single people currently, because having a place to live is a luxury and you absolutely need someone to split the cost. Having a full time job doesn't cut it anymore. So, less and less leave their parents home and those who did, end up coming back.

One solution would be to find a roomate friend since you could easily find one as many share the same problem but another problem is, if your parents are divorced or one of them dies, etc, they also can't afford living on their own and they also need a roomate.

TLDR: Homes are too expensive for someone to live alone.
 
jshackles

jshackles

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the capability to make the world's first enhanced store. Steam will be that store. Better than it was before.
I left my parent's house at 16. But I also had a job where I was making about double what minimum wage was at the time. It was also the early 90s, and I think my first apartment I paid $100 / month in rent with all bills paid. That accounted for about 23 hours of work at minimum wage, and about 12 hours of work for me per month. Nowadays, those numbers are laughable - the cheapest apartment in my area is $1,500 a month while minimum wage is $12. That apartment doesn't include utilities so all in you're close to $1,800 for all bills paid. So now, instead of needing 23 hours of work at a minimum wage job every month to pay your rent and bills, you need 150. Good luck finding a job that's going to give you that many hours - better have two nearly full time jobs to pull it off. Oh, and you also need to buy food and gas for your car and various other things.

So - you get a roomate, but you better be close (or lovers) because if you want something more than a 1 bedroom apartment you're gonna get up in the $2,000+ per month range of rent.

In addition to high rents, there just aren't any good paying jobs. Nowhere anywhere near here is going to pay a 16 year old kid $24 an hour to do anything. Even my 22 year old college graduate son, who landed a job as an assistant manager at a sporting goods store, makes $14 per hour. He is massively over qualified but that's really about all there is here. He works "part time" like 37 hours a week, and has no paid time off and no benefits. Most of his co-workers are either living with their parents, or homeless.

Him and his sister (25, also college graduate and working but living with her boyfriend's parents) came up with an idea that they could get an apartment together with her boyfriend and my son's best friend. All kids under 30, all working. They couldn't find a 2 bedroom apartment for under $2,500 a month. Even with 4 people pooled together, they make about $1,500 a week between the four of them. So between the cost of the apartment + utilities, they decided that they collectively wouldn't have enough money left over for food + gas + car insurance + anything else. And their math is pretty sound, they would essentially be able to "scrape by" on 4 incomes, at least until their rent got raised again when their lease was up.

The situation has got to change at some point. More affordable housing has to be built in my area (thats a massive problem here, obviously), and we'll need better and more abundant skilled jobs - ideally jobs that have benefits. Inflation has to level out, because right now rents are going up hundreds of dollars a year on average with no subsequent bump in people's wages. The system is 100% stacked against young people. Until these issues are resolved somehow, I imagine we'll just go back to a system where our homes become generational - my kids will live in my house until I die, and then take it over for themselves. The sad part is that there is no way in hell my kids are going to be able to have / afford kids of their own, not to mention that living with mom and dad kinda puts a damper on that sort of activity.
 
Nico_D

Nico_D

Member
Probably a lot to do how social security is in each country. Around here any 18 year old can get max 80 % of the rent from social security. That naturally gets lower based on how they have other income. Also, you get around 500 € from social security if you are unemployed.
 
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jshackles

jshackles

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the capability to make the world's first enhanced store. Steam will be that store. Better than it was before.
Nico_D said:
Probably a lot to do how social security is in each country. Around here any 18 year old can get max 80 % of the rent from social security. That naturally gets lower based on how they have other income. Also, you get around 500 € from social security if you are unemployed.
Click to expand...
Wait - so your government gives 18 year old kids 80% of their rent money? Am I reading this right?

Yup, if that were the case here my kids would have been out at 18 no questions asked.
 
Dark Star

Dark Star

Member
Almost all of my friends (early-mid 20's) and I still live with our parents. We all graduated college and are working professional jobs (either commuting or remote/WFH, or hybrid), but it's just very expensive to move out and it makes more sense financially to just stay home until things become more affordable. That means getting better jobs making more money, or waiting for the housing costs/apartment rent to meet us halfway.

I personally was fully onboard to move out when I was 18 and fresh out of high school. I got into a college in a different city and was prepared to leave. It would have been so beneficial to my self-confidence. But I was pressured by my parents (cultural reasons, financial reasons) to stay in my city and commute to college via car/bus/train, and live at home. Now I'm in my mid-20's and I feel like I missed out on a lot of the young adult experiences like living in a dorm in college and making more friends, dating, sex, etc. I had plenty of fun going to concerts and doing cool stuff in my city, I haven't lived a completely sheltered life, but living alone is freeing and it's something I would grant/encourage my own kids to do when they're 18-21.
 
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StateofMajora

StateofMajora

Banned
I don't understand the "get a roomate" thing. To me that isn't anything different than living with mom and pop.

Also I would say there's nothing really wrong per say with living with your parents, as long as you're REALLY working on yourself, working long hours, not just going to school to dick around etc. But it depends on if you have a good relationship with your parents too.

But yeah eventually you need to move out no matter what.
 
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Nico_D

Nico_D

Member
jshackles said:
Wait - so your government gives 18 year old kids 80% of their rent money? Am I reading this right?

Yup, if that were the case here my kids would have been out at 18 no questions asked.
Click to expand...

Up to 80%, yes. Not sure how it is decided nowadays but back then it was checked if the apartment was sensible - meaning, you can't just go and rent a penthouse or anything. Single room apartment for a single person.

Oh and if a student, instead of unemployment money you got montly support for studies. And student loan which has ridiculously low interest.

Our universuties don't have any fees either. It's free. For foreigners there might be some costs.

But I can see how all this may have something to do with the topic.
 
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jshackles

jshackles

Gentlemen, we can rebuild it. We have the capability to make the world's first enhanced store. Steam will be that store. Better than it was before.
Nico_D said:
Up to 80%, yes. Not sure how it is decided nowadays but back then it was checked if the apartment was sensible - meaning, you can't just go and rent a penthouse or anything. Single room apartment for a single person.

Oh and if a student, instead of unemployment money you got montly support for studies. And student loan which has ridiculously low interest.
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BRB moving my family to Finland
 
SuperBabyMethod

SuperBabyMethod

Member
I moved out at 28 when I finally got a real job and a salary as a teacher. From a cultural perspective it’s pretty common and not stigmatized to live with a parent (my parents are from Mexico), so I never really felt bad about living with my mother and siblings during my early-mid 20’s. Our financial situation also made it imperative to live and support my family.

Once I moved out on my own and started making some money, I noticed that a lot of my younger colleagues, cohort in college, and younger people in general who moved out, live with roommates. Nothing to be shamed about, but I don’t think that necessarily counts as living out on your own (unless it’s with a partner/spouse). It also doesn’t help when I notice that a lot of these young people who live with roommates do so with low-paying jobs; how the fuck do you live with a job as a nanny, or an artist, in an expensive neighborhood in NYC - there must be some sort of financial support from the parent - and that, to me, doesn’t really show much independence or growth.
 
AlteredForms

AlteredForms

Banned
There's going to difference of opinions here as it's mostly a cultural decision. Whilst most families in the West often dropkick their children out at the earliest opportunity, in Asian and Eastern-European households the families either live with one another or in close proximity. Personally I'm of that mind myself, but to each their own.
 
Chronicle

Chronicle

Member
Patrick S. said:
You never kick out your children unless they're assholes, and you never put your elderly parents in a senior home but take them in and care for them as a family.

That's how it should be, ideally, and when I lived in Spain, I've seen that work very well. Households with three or four generations of a family living in them are not unusual at all.
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I like what you say. I lived abroad and that's how it was where I was. I kinda admired it.
 
BadBurger

BadBurger

Many “Whelps”! Handle It!
I was in and out of the house at 17, completely on my own by 20.

I don’t knock cultures that have no problem with kids living at home well into adulthood, but I can’t imagine not wanting independence and your own place past 18 or 19. Living under someone else’s roof and rules sucks.
 
haxan7

haxan7

Banned
AlteredForms said:
There's going to difference of opinions here as it's mostly a cultural decision. Whilst most families in the West often dropkick their children out at the earliest opportunity, in Asian and Eastern-European households the families either live with one another or in close proximity. Personally I'm of that mind myself, but to each their own.
Click to expand...
I rented a room in an Asian friend’s house for a year or so. His parents would come and stay over for weeks at a time (it was a house they owned). I felt really suffocated and uncomfortable having fully grown adults in the house. He was perfectly happy living that way. To each their own I guess.
 
J

jason10mm

Gold Member
Dark Star said:
Almost all of my friends (early-mid 20's) and I still live with our parents. We all graduated college and are working professional jobs (either commuting or remote/WFH, or hybrid), but it's just very expensive to move out and it makes more sense financially to just stay home until things become more affordable. That means getting better jobs making more money, or waiting for the housing costs/apartment rent to meet us halfway.
Click to expand...

StateofMajora said:
I don't understand the "get a roomate" thing. To me that isn't anything different than living with mom and pop.

Also I would say there's nothing really wrong per say with living with your parents, as long as you're REALLY working on yourself, working long hours, not just going to school to dick around etc. But it depends on if you have a good relationship with your parents too.
Click to expand...

Dr_Salt said:
That sounds like a shitty way to live tbh.
Click to expand...
Adult virginity on GAF makes a lot more sense now :p

I found a boarding school and moved out at 15, living with parents is waaaaaay worse than roommates IMHO.
 
Little Mac

Little Mac

Member
I moved out when I left for college and pretty much lived on my own or with girlfriends for 20+ years. I have a BS in Science but have been working as a health and fitness professional most of my adulthood. Recently I've started working as a direct care worker taking care of an elderly parent with mobility issues. Average cost of a nursing home is like $100k a year here in the US. Nation-wide the average rent is something like $1080 per month. Regardless, we can't afford the nursing home and I don't make enough as her now full time direct care worker, and part time personal trainer, for me to be able to afford two separate rents/utilities as well as helping out with rising medical bills. It's tough for me, her, and I'm sure many reading this right now. The world is currently a shit show but ...



Fast And Furious Family GIF by The Fast Saga
 
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ShirAhava

ShirAhava

Plays with kids toys, in the adult gaming world
2005 I had my own apartment down the road from my parents house when I was like 17 was my uncles but he was almost never there

was basically just a fuck pad those were much easier times tho

Honestly if I wasn't getting laid I would have stayed at home as long as possible my parents were cool (RIP)
 
FunkMiller

FunkMiller

Member
I moved out when I was 24, after uni and post graduate, into my first flat in old London tahn. This was the mid 00s when it was still possible to buy something for a relatively sensible amount. I’ve done well out of the london property market since. Don’t envy young people these days at all.
 
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