AgentOtaku
Member
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Okay so I've been a lifetime Bond fan more or less. I wanna say I started getting serious about the films when the VHS anniversary sets started coming out in the mid 90s. I was probably like 13-14 at the time and would save my allowence to purchase a new VHS tape as soon as I can from my local Walmart lol, hoping one day to collect them all... I think I ended up only getting 3 or so in the end. This I believe was also around the same time Goldeneye came out which I did in fact in the theater opening weekend. I also got obsessed with the N64 game like everyone else at some point.
I've never actually seen every Bond film and remember flat-out avoiding the Roger Moore era for whatever reason ...maybe because I'd heard how silly they were.
Anyway, with this recent amazing convient Box-Set having dropped late last year, I finally have the perfect opportunity to catch all of these is one fell swoop, as a almost 30 year old man, with only a slight nostalgic bias hopefully.
That's right, while I am a Bond super fan, I will also be watching them unobjectively as possible, which shouldn't be too hard as some as I've never seen anyway. My wife has also agreed to take the trip with me as well despite having grown up hating the character due to her Dad insisting on watching them. Daniel Craig's reign made her a believer though.
Also pose this as a thread as an opportunity for other GAFers to make this journey with me
I will update as often as I can but understand, I can't and won't be marathoning these. This will be an ongoing project, so here we go!
Oh yeah, thar be spoilers!
Dr. No
This was actually one of the VHS films I bought from Wal-Mart when it was released. I had absolutely no idea what to expect, I just wanted to collect Bond video tapes!
So yeah, I hadn't seen it in a very long time but knew that, unlike OHMSS which I very fondly remember, this didn't really stick with me.
Watching again now, I can appreciate some things about it but ultimately I find it to be a very clunky start for the franchise outside of a few key scenes.
We of course get Connery's "Bond, James Bond" iconic entrance and, what can I say, it's still boss and you've probably seen it a million times. Unfortunately I'd say it's one of the few bits I'd fondly remembered the most.
Everything else was widly hit or miss. For every one scene I thought that was geniunely good and, you know Spy/Bond-like, you get two others that are either unintentionally funny or even worse, overly long and sorta bad... And that's a bigger problem for this film, it feels like it fucking goes on forever and ever. I'm a bit understanding of this though because well, I gew up in a different time and place where editing practicing and shit are different I guess. Old people movies and stuff. Fair enough.
Anyway, one of the bits I did love was the little scene of Bond playing Solitare while waiting for his objective. Such a nice detail that honestly you don't get to see very often.
So the film has severe pacing issues where scenes just go on for way to damn long. It really feels like everyone involved was trying to either establish the tone for character/series and also finding shit for him to do because... well alot of the time, even though he is, it feels like Bond isn't doing shit but merely hanging around the Carribean.
Another thing, if you're looking for actual action setpieces in this, I'm afraid you're really out of luck here as you only really get: A scene early on where Bond beats up a dude who completely overacts to every hit, a bit where Bond and his sidekicks for whatever reason decide to take on what is essentially a amphibious vehicle mounted with a flame thrower with merely a couple of revolvers... while hiding behind...a bush. I swear this scene feels thrown in here because the producers or writers felt the film needed SOME kind of action. It's utterly stupid. One more "action-scene" is Bond slooowy making his was through a vent while trying not to burn his delicate hands ...and that's it. Intense stuff. And of course, he defeats the villain who thought it was a smart idea to have his bionic hands coated in a glossy finish. You honestly don't get too much of an opinion of Dr.No as he's barely in the film.
Anyway, review has gone on long enough and I basically summarize that I think the film has a few moments, but is mostly forgettable and really doesn't hold up at all. Still it was necessary in order to get something vastly improved. Wife thought this one was a chore to sit through also.
2.5 out of 5
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From Russia with Love
Yes, this film is still as classy as it's amazing poster art (^___^)
Another one I hadn't see in a long time. Already the Mrs. was very skeptical about continuing this journey as she was very unimpressed with Dr. No
I assured her though she was in for a treat!
Thus far probably my favorite of the classic Bond films behind OHMSS. This one is oh so classy and despite having almost not hitting it's release date, it manages to far exceed Dr. No is almost every conceivable way.
It doesn't really drag too much, it's wonderful to look at, has a Bond girl who isn't midly mentally handicapped like Ursula Andress' character was (THAT whole relationship was weeeird) and actually has some competently staged action, most of which holds up rather well. Here we get what honestly feels like the most espionage-like of the early Bonds. Not alot of gadgets or gimmicks, just Spy Vs Spy shit that you can really sink your teeth into. Donald Grant is still an impressive villain and it really comes off like Bond is fucked initially. Rosa Klebb is silly fun and Tatiana Romanova is still a joy to both listen to and look at. It also helps that her character actually has a point to the story.
The main theme that plays in the beginning is still a damn joy to listen to as well. I can see why EA decided this was the one to make into an actual game and pulled Connery, regrettably, out of retirement
I would whole-heartedly recommend this film to anyone curious about the early Bond films ...dare I say I would demand they actually start with this one first. It just feels classic whereas Dr. No just felt bumblingly. The wife thought this one was "much better" too lol
4.5 out of 5
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Goldfinger
I wanna say this is the first time I've ever seen this one in it's entirety.
Coming off the blissful high of From Russia with Love, this one mostly let's me down unfortunately
Bond now starts to begin the trend of being borderline rapey at times and I'm sorry, despite the name, Goldfinger himself fucking sucks as a villain. He's fat, ugly, and comes off as dumb. The first scene between him and Bond outside the pool is comedic but not in a good way.
Oddjob shows up and is amusing I guess but most of this film for whatever reason is really forgettable to me. I know I'd like to watch it again at some point to see if my opinion changes. It's certainly nowhere near as bland as Dr.No ...just, sort of there. Bond get's plenty of opportunities to contract some STDs as well. Honestly overrated if you ask me and really FEELS like one of the films that was created because the series was more or less annualized. I guess people were clamouring for more gimmicky Bond, because that's what you get here.
3 out of 5
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** Real women have curves **
Thunderball
(first time I've seen this one fully)
My god, I had no idea SO much of this film took place underwater. SO.MUCH.WATER. It has a great Making-Of on the Blu-ray btw. Probably more interesting that alot of the final product =P
So they really went for it on this one. Up to this point, Bond films hadn't been so epic as far as set-pieces and whatnot. This is one that changed that and probably kick-started that aspect of the franchise. We get the opening with the iconic jet pack (with some GREAT wide shots here btw), A LOT of underwater shit including a giant underwater scuba battle! I honestly never new this existance and while silly by today's standards, is still really fucking impressive from a staging/execution standpoint. Also, we got a rocket-yacht at the end!
I'm warmer to this one then Goldfinger for sure. Mostly because I admire it's ambition and scope. Watching the supplementals, it's really fascinating how really huge this film was at the time of it's release. Merchandise galore, lines around the block, etc. You'd think it was Star Wars.
Fascinating stuff. Also, Tom Jones' Thunderball theme is fucking BAAAAALLER!!!!
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3.5 out of 5
Film isn't as fun as this poster
You Only Live Twice
** This was another VHS tape I bought from Wal-mart lol**
So you finally get to see the film that Austin Powers took quite a lot from. We get Volcano lairs! Gyro Copters, Nancy Sinatra, Ninjas!, MoneyPenny looking amazing, and japanese Bond!? ...WTF!?
Some say this is when the series released it's first dud. I disagree as that honor goes to the first film, Dr. No. ...Come at me Bro!
Anyway, the film is mostly a fine Bond film with some solid action ...it's just when it get's 3/4 the way thru it takes a turn for the bizarre. Bond essentialy becomes an honorary japanese, complete with slanty eye make-up! Yup, you really get reminded of the era we're were living in at the time, just like Breakfast at Tiffany's ...don't even ask why he needed this done, as it really doesn't matter. It's fucking awful and almost completely undoes the entire film.
Thankfully you get to see a momentus climax in the infamous volcano cave, which is actually an entire damn set they built. This thing is amazingly impressive and be sure to watching the Making-Of that goes further into it. On a sad note, the camera operator for all the Gyro-Copter stuff would lose his leg filming that scene, but would still go on the industry for a few more years, including capturing the amazing ski footage found in OHMSS. Like a boss.
3 out of 5
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Oh how I do love this poster!
On Her Majesty's Secret Service
And here was are, one of my all time favorite Bond films. This was another one I actually bought on VHS back in the 90s and even then I knew this to be just a legimately good fucking film
In this one, Peter Hunt, who had up until this point been the series second unit director, steps front n' center to as he put it "Make the best Bond film there is," and by and large he succeeds and then some.
Right off that bat, I'm state something contraversial:
George Lazenby was a better Bond than Connery
for me anyway...
Yep, you heard me. Even though the Producers/Director where grooming him to be just a Connery knock-off, he still manages to best him because he just brought something different. He's physically imposing and more capable than Connery ever was (helps that he was like 28 at the time), is a damn fine looking man! maintains the swagger while keeping an edge, also unlike Connery, who by the time You Only Live Twice came around, was more or less phoning it in, both physically and emotionally.
Bond finally also meets his match with Diana Rigg ...man what a dish this one is.
While their relationship is completely obligatory early on, both in narrative and series expectations, Bond eventually falls for her and she does him. Till this day I'd say the closest thing you get to this emotional level of Bond's character is Vesper in Casino Royale. Absolutely wonderful stuff and it makes the final scene that much more brutal... that and the fact they completely ruin it by throwing the damn Bond theme in almost immediately. Almost as bad as Ford's Decker narration on the roof at the end of Blade Runner.
Anyway, I could go on and on about this film, but I won't. There's a lot of great character beats in it, like when Bond casually reads a playboy while waiting for a safe to crack or of course, the timeless line "This didn't happen to the other fella" which believe or not, was adlibed and kept because Lazenby kept saying it to Peter Hunt on the set.
Other than a middle that sort of drags, once the film picks up again, it never really let's up.
Also. Kojak plays probably the best iteration of Blofeld up to that point and honestly ever. And Bond probably contracted every STD there was in that clinic.
The opening theme, while not having lyrics, is still of my favorite in the whole franchise despite being played over old footage from prior films, which itself was tacky and wrong.
LOVE LOVE LOVE this film
5 out of 5
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(first time watch)
Diamonds are Forever
This one is directed by Guy Hamilton, who prior made his debut with Goldfinger. Between that and obviously seeing Connery returned, I wasn't too optimistic about what I would be getting here...
Oh boy
This is hands down, the worst Bond film I've seen thus far. Yeah, I know I know, I got shit like Moonraker and Man with the Golden Gun to long forward to, but obviously we're not there yet.
Thankfully I'm not alone as doing some casual research, you'll find the general reception to this one is pretty weak anyway.
Sean Connery looks like he's bored the entire time (clearly collecting a paycheck, of which was indeed quite large at the time). Physically he's let himself go even more since You only live Twice. Yeah I know, this is a bit of a shallow observation but it's still pretty jarring going from strapping young George L. back to middle-age pudgy Connery, who clearly doesn't appear concerned with looking physically imposing.
They, whether purposely or not, dialed up the camp factor considerably here and there are moments where I was just in awe of the film's callow, meandering attitude. Shit just happens and people look like they don't necessarily know where this is going next.
Blofeld returns in probably he's weakest stint, now sporting a full head of hair, being played by Charles Grey, who already played another character in You Only Live Twice. It all just comes off as lazy. Then there's this middle bit in the Casino where they're running around that just goes on and on. All it does is highlight's just how ugly the setting of Vegas for this film really was. We do get an inspired car chase around the middle, but once again they get lazy here as the pivitol moment where the vehicle hits two wheels to squeeze through an alley, only to come out the other side on the wrong two sets of wheels! Watching the "Inside -insert bond film-" Making-Of (these are damn excellent btw!) reveals that they essentially couldn't recreate the stunt with a different crew and ended up lazily throwing a car interior shot where the car impossibly flips to it's other side just before exiting said tight alley. It's duuuumb and makes no sense. Still, Guy Hamilton really shows his action chops here and you'll get to see it even more with Live or Let Die.
There's only a couple of positives... Literally just two I can honestly think of lol. The characters of Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd hold up really well and come off as surprisingly cool. They even manage to casually throw in the fact that they're indeed lovers, very tastefully.
Also, we get an honestly well staged elevator fight that is probably the best action in the whole picture
Oh and of course, there's Bambi and Thumper ...you'll see (>__<)
This movie ....ugh
2 out of 5
Stay tuned for more!
