The stigma attached to attending public school

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it's disgusting how only the rich can get the best education in britain

made even worse by how people who went to these richman's schools end up ruling the country and then prioritize tax cuts for their rich mates over properly funding the education for plebs

that said these people were out of line

hate the game, not the player, and wait with the shit-talking until the spoiled kid has left the room
 
Waaghals said:
You are NOT overreacting. Especially since these were friends of friends (or did I get that wrong?).

I often insult and make jokes at the expense of my close friends, but they are CLOSE friends.
They know I am not serious, and they respond in kind.

I wouldn't have done it to someone I did not know very well.

in short, they are assholes.
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They were friends of friends.

I might bring it up to her or I'll just distance myself for the time being. I have other things I need to focus on but this keeps playing on my mind and with my overthinking, it's going to linger for the entire day.
 
I take issue with using Stigma to describe your situation. While they clearly did not discuss the issue in the best way and the use of epithets was unacceptable, the ones more likely to deal with real stigma in the UK are those that do not have the money or class standing to attend public schools.
 
I went to a public (or independent) school for my primary education and then all boys grammar school for secondary. Didn't speak to a single girl for 5 years and never had a single black kid in my class till I left school to go to college to do my BTEC lol In fact I'm pretty sure there was only like one black kid in a school of about 1000+ plus boys. Playing cricket was great though.
 
in a sense, the british system with public schools make everyone a loser

your friends lost out because they are barred from reaching the top just due to their parents not being rich af

and you lost out because, to get ahead in life you had to spend your formative years with a bunch of pigfucking snobs
 
Fried Food said:
Public school means private school? I'm curious how that came to be.
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It's a type of private school. I don't know where it originates from, but public school =/= private school.

Other terms are 'grammar school' (which aren't all necessarily private schools with tuition fees) and 'independent school', which - in the UK at least - is basically just a synonym for private school.
 
Well let's have a look:
Elitism in Britain - breakdown by profession

https://www.theguardian.com/news/da...ession?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

Just 7% of the UK public attended private school, which compares to 71% of senior judges, 62% of senior armed forces officers, 55% of Whitehall permanent secretaries and 50% of members of the House of Lords.
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The rate is also disproportionately high in other influential roles: 44% of people on the Sunday Times Rich List, 43% of newspaper columnists and 26% of BBC executives were all educated privately.
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UK judiciary as the most elitist profession in the UK and, as we have noted, 71% of them were students at an independent school.
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Second only to judges were senior armed forces officers, 62% of whom were privately educated while 30% went to a grammar school.
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So why are you complaining? 7% of you and your fellow alumni have a much greater control of the country. Ordinary people don't get the kind of chances you do.

You're asking people to take pity on you whilst crying in a metaphorical Ferrari.
 
SlipperyFishes said:
No. No it does not.

I have never heard that and yknow what? I live beside the one where Alfie Allen attended and still haven't heard it even though that's the same type of school.
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My father went to public school. His parents paid top dollah. Which anecdote wins?

Tbf as explained there is more nuance to it than I suggested, but the bottom line colloquialism is that 'public' doesn't mean your local comp.
 
Clay Davis said:
Is it really so terrible that my parents were able to afford a public school? Isn't it the dream of every parent to send their child to the best school to receive the best education? So why then do some people become angry and sneer at those who have been fortunate enough have such opportunities?
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Your defense is the elitism that is the problem. You got a leg up while your friends had to work harder just to sit at the same table as you. You lack awateness of the bubble you grew up in, and rather than trying to understand your friends perspective you critisize them and in so doing prove thier point.
 
RedSparrows said:
N.b. Non UK readers, 'public school' means 'private school', because Britain.
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The fact this still confuses me probably proves that my education was wasted on me :/

Edit: The wording of the remarks sounds...dick-ish, but ultimately it's probably more of the fact that you got to go to a public school, so to do the same stuff as you they had to work harder. At the end of the day as long as they're not being more personal jibes (why public school = gay stuff I don't understand...) you have to get over it. Whether you want to see them again etc is obviously up to you.
 
Crab said:
They're called public schools because they predate the state education schools by hundreds of years, and when the first public schools were established, the alternative was religious schools, which were denominational and only accepted people on the basis of their church or religious grouping. Hence they were public in the sense that anyone who could pay could attend, with e.g. Catholics and Jews at the same school. The usage is older than the first settling of the Americas (as publican).

Britons will use 'state school' to describe... state schools, or sometimes just 'comprehensive', even though not all state schools are technically comprehensive.
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interesting. thanks for the explanation.
 
There is also a stigma for attending free school. For parents that is. I work in a field where people are capable of having extra cash and I guess I'm a fool for considering public (free) school instaid of private. When I reveal I also attended free school then they wonder how I am even alive
 
RedSparrows said:
N.b. Non UK readers, 'public school' means 'private school', because Britain.
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Ha, thanks. That clears up my immediate confusion. I thought the poster must run in a very exclusive crowd if attending public school is considered odd.

Now that I know, here, the assumptions that come to mind for those that attend private school (public school), they are either quite well off, their parents are religious or they got into trouble at school and the parents felt moving them to private school would solve the issues. None of these would give me an immediate negative impression of a person but I can see how such a stigma could be annoying to deal with on a regular basis.
 
RedSparrows said:
N.b. Non UK readers, 'public school' means 'private school', because Britain.
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giphy.gif

Sort this shit out :P


Well I went to private school like the rest of the world calls it and when I took my next step into higher education I actually had a teacher single me out in class because I had attended a private school as she saw public as the only valid option bla bla bla.

It is there for sure, I just shrug it off because it's none of their business how or why I went there and if they use that as something negative or defining thing about you, it's people not worth talking to.
 
OP, that sounds like jealousy. They were probably jealous that you got to go to a school like that and they didn't, because it implies that you came from a more well-off background etc. I get like that sometimes but I would never make fun of someone for going to a different school. Though, I do get worried about people judging me sometimes as well. I went to a high school with a bad reputation (UK here too), but I went to a much better grammar school Sixth Form afterwards that accepted people from high schools, and so when people ask me what school I went to, I tell them I went to the grammar school, which is technically correct, because it just looks better.
 
With such an elitism related to public (private) schools that you guys have, and with the rich politicians from those private schools trying to increase the gap through means of state school defunding an tax cuts for the rich, I can see peopel holding some kind of contempt for people who benefit from than system and therefore compromise their possible success.
I'm glad I never went to a private school and I count on not taking my children there.
 
Honestly the comments you just don't really sound hateful. I guess it's hard to tell from just reading what they said and not hearing it but you could be being oversensitive about it.

The kids who went to private schools here used to get ripped on too but it was never really hateful. The all boys private school was known as "poofters paradise". That was back in the 90's though.
 
I tried to take them in stride, but they became particularly more pointed towards the end of the dinner, things like "rich boy can pay for dinner", "what's it like being a toff",
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These people sound like trash.
 
Yeah, it's a strange naming mechanism to people who are not familiar with the history / origin of the term.

But the stranglehold and dominance public schools have in the UK is not good. It just isn't anywhere near an even playing field. Sure, I get that public schools are always going to be "better", but just look at how so many of the top roles in government / business / the civil service / military / the arts and pretty much every other section of society are dominated by public school attendees. And because public school kids dominate in these industries, it means that people in the positions that can actually something about it are not interested in cracking down on them and levelling the playing field. For example, at the very least they should be forced to actually pay tax and remove their charitable status, especially when their very existence damages social mobility. Sharing their cricket pitch with a comprehensive once a week does not count as sharing the benefits with the less well off.

Did anyone see the story about the Cambridge University Conservative Association Comms Officer burning money in front of a homeless man while laughing? I know the Daily Mail is a banned source but in its article on the incident his Mother said "It's very surprising. We're just a normal family. We're not toffs, he's not a toff". The guy attended a £10,000 per annum Public School, burned a £20 bank note in front of a homeless man while wearing tails and is a Scottish Conservative... Jesus Christ, just admit that you're a fucking "toff" and at least attempt to own the term rather than pretending you have a "normal" family / background. I honestly think these kind of people repeat the opinion that they're "normal" so often that they actually start to convince themselves of it.

OP, don't be expecting sympathy because you're being ribbed for receiving a massive leg-up in a rigged system. That's the very least I would expect of my friends if I was fortunate enough to get a massive break like that. That's what friends do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6g0gDrCUi8
 
RedShift said:
Thank you Americans for all your great and interesting contributions to this thread. Keep it up.
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as someone who's not from the UK or the USA, the drive-by posts are pretty ironic lol. like the USA is free of idiosyncrasies that are completely at odds with the rest of the world.
 
OP you should have known that if you out yourself as being different in UK you get the piss taken out of you.

You should also know nobody means ill from it.
 
Public school generally refers to the old money private schools that date back to when state education didn't really exist.

Most private schools are just private schools. I know a few privately educated people, and even they consider public school to be for the Bullingdon wanker set.

The one public school graduate I know was shocked when he realised that Latin wasn't a compulsory subject at anyone elses school. Not joking (he hated studying Latin).

Sounds like the OPs friends were going too far, but you can't expect to mention that you're literally in the elite of the elite, and not get some mild mockery. It's like an American saying they were in some elite Harvard fraternity - people will ask how much buggery was in the entry requirements.

As someone born in Surrey but living in the grim darkness of the north, I got this teasing a lot despite my "u wot m8" comp education.
 
TheOnlyOneHeEverFeared said:
'But but public schools'

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullingdon_Club
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Does it sound weird to say stuff like that is why I'm happy I didn't exactly excel, academically speaking? The sort of closed off clubs seem so...elitist...I like meeting new people and making new friends :/

It also makes me wonder if the distinctions are a little less binary than some think, because to me that seems more of a...super posh sort of thing? Or at least the concept of those sort of clubs seem alien to me. I feel as if i'm under few illusions of my comparative privilege, but then I feel like my mentality about a lot of things is naturally colored by my parents and where/how they grew up.
 
OP, if your friend was joining in or casually accepting of you getting insulted like that it's probably time to ditch that friend. Unless of course you do actually act like a posh rich boy. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt tho.

jett said:
"Public" school as in handled by the public themselves instead of the government, I figure?
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Lets just move on to my the Brits named it soccer. That'll be a nice level headed debate.
 
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