Support NeoGAF

[GymWolf]

18 hours a day (especially for ds2 ) is fucking crazy but if you have to completely hang the controller to stay with her, i doubt she is the right one.

Maybe talk to her and find a compromise, if she loves you she is not gonna tell you to completely forget about your biggest hobby, that would be a huge red flag.

 

[T-0800]

If you liked reading and she didn't would you give up reading? Stop being an idiot.

 

[near]

If you liked reading and she didn't would you give up reading? Stop being an idiot.

There is a difference between giving up a hobby and reducing the amount you consume a hobby. He played DS2 for 18 hours a day, that's not sustainable when you have a family. Shifting priorities and being a responsible adult is not being an idiot.

 

[Bartski]

18 hours a day (especially for ds2 ) is fucking crazy but if you have to completely hang the controller to stay with her, i doubt she is the right one.

Maybe talk to her and find a compromise, if she loves you she is not gonna tell you to completely forget about your biggest hobby, that would be a huge red flag.

I already did. Seems super cool about it - but that's all in theory as I don't really game right now at all while she keeps me busy. In practice the first upcoming game I'd normally go 100% on is SHf which I have preordered and this will be the big test.

If you liked reading and she didn't would you give up reading? Stop being an idiot.

Feel free to continue pretending you don't see the difference

 

[DKehoe]

I already did. Seems super cool about it - but that's all in theory as I don't really game right now at all while she keeps me busy. In practice the first upcoming game I'd normally go 100% on is SHf which I have preordered and this will be the big test.

Talk to her about it and let her know up front there's a game coming out that you've been really looking forward to for a while now and when something like this comes out you like doing those kind of hardcore sessions. If it's not going to be a constant thing that's going to take up every single weekend then she should understand. You could maybe also plan something fun you could do together on a different day.

 

[sono]

if she isnt a gamer, pick some simple coop game

You seem to be thinking that she may not like gaming when you didnt ask her yet, maybe she doesnt know

If she doesnt you need to figure out how much of a problem that is for you

 

[MilkyJoe]

I'm the opposite, I am seeing a new woman - well not new to me, I've known her for 25 years, she was married to an ex-mate of mine, he left her for someone else, now we're an item - and I haven't turned my xBox on since August 2023. I lost all desire to play it, I don't care about video games anymore... Strange that.

 

[ResilientBanana]

I love gaming but, you have to live in the real world too. Sharing a life with someone is doing just that sharing your life. There's going to be a time in place for gaming, but there's also a time in a place for family. It's your choice. You either adjust your habits and find where they fit to enjoy life with a significant other or you live alone. Relationships are no place to be selfish.

 

[Lambogenie]

Hmm just go with the flow and don't overthink it. Just get priorities in order. Like if your baby needs milk and Mom is not available what will you do? Play Dark souls or Give baby milk then play Dark souls? If you pick the right answer you should be ok.

Milk and Dark Souls together. Multi task. It can be done.

 

[ecosse_011172]

I have 2 points.
1. "Body count" is the worst impression in human history to describe how many different people you've gotten laid with.
2. You can moderate your gaming, play an hour or two each day and a longer session at the weekend, keep your marathon binges for when she's out of town. The right woman will accept your hobbies until she's less important than them and 18 our sessions for a week is not going to cut it (apart from being deeply unhealthy anyway).

 

[Reckheim]

Be honest with her, why would you give up your biggest hobby and the thing that makes you the happiest for someone that isn't willing to accept it.

If she truly loves you; she will be fine with it. Most people aren't psychos.

you will obviously have to cut down on the amount of hours you spend playing; but no reason to give up on gaming completely.

 

[Go_Ly_Dow]

Focus/Narrow it down to a handful of games a year that really matter.

When said game releases play it a few times a week to unwind and don't go down a rabbit hole, unless she's away or something.

Communicate to her that you enjoy a game just like someone may enjoy a movie, tv show, new album or book.

Perhaps even try and see if she's willing to play something herself.

 

[T-0800]

There is a difference between giving up a hobby and reducing the amount you consume a hobby. He played DS2 for 18 hours a day, that's not sustainable when you have a family. Shifting priorities and being a responsible adult is not being an idiot.

Yeah me saying idiot was in fact me being an idiot. Apology to all.

Yeah of course doing something like that for 18 hours a day is silly.

 

[poppabk]

You'll get all the answers when your first child is born.

I have fond memories of playing BF:BC2 while my newborn son happily slept on my chest.

 

[Bartski]

so little update, I think this will go case by case but she seems to really be on board, giving me all the space I need for games I really really want to play. I should be able to squeeze in SHf when she's at work but then she's taking a long overdue trip with her mom for the launch of Yotei and I couldn't be happier (4 days!). I did cancel my attendance at gamescom this year but I don't care. All my casual B-tier games gaming is out of the window it seems, but my steam deck is in action a lot again in transit and I'm blasting through NG:Ragebound that way. Happy days!

 

[RJMacready73]

43 and you're trying for a kid...

Fuck your in for a big shock, kids are young persons game you old af

 

[Dr.Morris79]

I've been with someone like this for nigh on twenty years, had a kid, got married and liked to game just as much..

All I can say is..

You'll love it.

And get a Deck.

 

[WoJ]

My wife and I have been married for 10 years. We have an 8 year old daughter. Early in the relationship my gaming time was cut way back. When my daughter was born gaming time was cut way back. But at this point I basically game as much as I want. My daughter is old enough to be able to do some stuff on her own. But her and I are buddies and we hang out quite a bit. Honestly, I enjoy time with my daughter more than my wife anymore....and I'm not trying to rag on my wife. My daughter is just cool.

When my daughter goes to bed is when I get most of my gaming time in. My wife and I are both so wiped out at the end of the day that we both want alone time so that's when I game.

But the important thing is to be present and show up for the wife and kiddo as a top priority. Gaming is a fun way to blow off steam. And honestly, I enjoy doing things with my wife and daughter. But it's also not a huge deal if I zone out for a few hours on a Saturday or Sunday to game. It's all about balance.

 

[KyoZz]

Try introducing her to games with themes she might like. My partner was pretty much the same way, but she saw me playing Shadow of the Tomb Raider back in the day and thought it was cool. We've been playing games together regularly ever since, though she often lets me play and just watches the story.
Of course you should also play less than 18 hours a day to give your relationship time, but you don't have to stop playing altogether.

 

[Icymanipulator]

When I read the words "epic body count" it makes it hard to take completely seriously. I am
filled with cringe. What 40+ talks like that? lol

In any case if things are so good with her then ya, look in the mirror and ask yourself- is she worth it? Is she worth more than gaming as often as you like? Clearly she's bringing something you value to the table, and it's not game related.