Kotzen Ducha
Banned
As a former teacher and OT, I've had a front row seat to the decline of the American child. The prevalence of iPads and iPhones was the final push into irrecoverable territory as children are now entering grade school with the worst focus and the worst fine motor skills. Schools are trying desperately to cater to this new audience by replacing books with iPads and eliminating recess to play catch up educationally.
I'm now a father of a 2-year old and I'm determined to deliver outcome-oriented parenting to my son. Thus the thread...
TODDLER-AGES!
I'm going to give short takes on a few topics and if anybody wants to discuss or debate I can elaborate in the replies.
1. BIRTH. We're going on decades of worsening outcomes surrounding medical births in America. I'd urge all expectant parents to pursue education prior to delivery so they can form a birth plan and seek out the outcomes they desire. Even in medical births, simple things like delayed cord clamping, delayed cleaning, and immediate skin-to-skin contact can give your baby many advantages as they enter the world.
Patience, knowledge, and support surrounding breastfeeding is crucial as well. People get discouraged early and have fear that their baby is starving if they aren't getting immediate milk. Remember that newborns have a tiny stomach and can go for a few days on colostrum alone while a mother's milk comes in. There's a lot of formula propaganda out there because it's a huge industry that throws around a lot of money. We are mammals and the instances of women who truly can't breastfeed are extremely rare.
2. EXPERIENCES OVER SCREENS. One of the best things we've done with our son is prioritize experiences over screens. If the temptation arises to let the TV babysit, we instead put on music or change our surroundings and go outside. Get a toy rotation going and use the dollar store or donations to keep novelty high. You can build a latch board from some wood and locks from home depot. Kids love the outdoors and will play with sticks and rocks and dirt. Turn the hose to a trickle and let your kid go wild. Read books!
The iPad babysitter kills focus and fine motor skills. There are no two ways about it. Almost all kids entering K today fail simple fine motor tests like the ability to hold a pencil. They lack the strength and practice. Shows and games like baby einstein program children with the expectation of something new and frenetic and in-your-face every second. The real world is a bore in comparison making meals, car rides, and school absolutely unbearable for these kids. Instead, talk to your children. Engage them. Teach them to observe and to listen and to have awe and wonder for the world around them. It just takes practice.
3. LOVE AND POSITIVITY. You can't spoil a young child with love. The cry-it-out method of sleep training is horrible for young minds and goes against our nature and against the outcomes of scientific studies done on it. Children need to know their parents are there for them. They need to feel love and comfort. Humans come pre-programmed with fear as a survival instinct, but we live in a generally safe world free from predation. So if your baby wakes up crying in the night go give them a hug and a kiss and put them back down. Like with the TV babysitter I understand the selfish urge surrounding cry-it-out, but I didn't have a kid to be selfish to the detriment of their well-being.
Positive reinforcement is another thing I feel strongly about. My son has such a love affair with learning and I think it's because we both spent time doing things with him and praising his hard word and curiosity. If he ever said or did anything wrong or incorrect, we would praise the attempt and then correct whatever was incorrect. Like the first time he tried to verbally label our dog and said, "COW!". "Good job! That's the dog. I see why you think it's a cow, but that is the dog!".
Whatever you do, do it with intention. Follow the interests and leads of your children. Encourage and love them.
If you have a selfish thought, sit with it for awhile before taking action. Always try to think of what kind of teenager and adult your behaviors and routines are going to create.
I'm now a father of a 2-year old and I'm determined to deliver outcome-oriented parenting to my son. Thus the thread...
TODDLER-AGES!
I'm going to give short takes on a few topics and if anybody wants to discuss or debate I can elaborate in the replies.
1. BIRTH. We're going on decades of worsening outcomes surrounding medical births in America. I'd urge all expectant parents to pursue education prior to delivery so they can form a birth plan and seek out the outcomes they desire. Even in medical births, simple things like delayed cord clamping, delayed cleaning, and immediate skin-to-skin contact can give your baby many advantages as they enter the world.
Patience, knowledge, and support surrounding breastfeeding is crucial as well. People get discouraged early and have fear that their baby is starving if they aren't getting immediate milk. Remember that newborns have a tiny stomach and can go for a few days on colostrum alone while a mother's milk comes in. There's a lot of formula propaganda out there because it's a huge industry that throws around a lot of money. We are mammals and the instances of women who truly can't breastfeed are extremely rare.
2. EXPERIENCES OVER SCREENS. One of the best things we've done with our son is prioritize experiences over screens. If the temptation arises to let the TV babysit, we instead put on music or change our surroundings and go outside. Get a toy rotation going and use the dollar store or donations to keep novelty high. You can build a latch board from some wood and locks from home depot. Kids love the outdoors and will play with sticks and rocks and dirt. Turn the hose to a trickle and let your kid go wild. Read books!
The iPad babysitter kills focus and fine motor skills. There are no two ways about it. Almost all kids entering K today fail simple fine motor tests like the ability to hold a pencil. They lack the strength and practice. Shows and games like baby einstein program children with the expectation of something new and frenetic and in-your-face every second. The real world is a bore in comparison making meals, car rides, and school absolutely unbearable for these kids. Instead, talk to your children. Engage them. Teach them to observe and to listen and to have awe and wonder for the world around them. It just takes practice.
3. LOVE AND POSITIVITY. You can't spoil a young child with love. The cry-it-out method of sleep training is horrible for young minds and goes against our nature and against the outcomes of scientific studies done on it. Children need to know their parents are there for them. They need to feel love and comfort. Humans come pre-programmed with fear as a survival instinct, but we live in a generally safe world free from predation. So if your baby wakes up crying in the night go give them a hug and a kiss and put them back down. Like with the TV babysitter I understand the selfish urge surrounding cry-it-out, but I didn't have a kid to be selfish to the detriment of their well-being.
Positive reinforcement is another thing I feel strongly about. My son has such a love affair with learning and I think it's because we both spent time doing things with him and praising his hard word and curiosity. If he ever said or did anything wrong or incorrect, we would praise the attempt and then correct whatever was incorrect. Like the first time he tried to verbally label our dog and said, "COW!". "Good job! That's the dog. I see why you think it's a cow, but that is the dog!".
Whatever you do, do it with intention. Follow the interests and leads of your children. Encourage and love them.
If you have a selfish thought, sit with it for awhile before taking action. Always try to think of what kind of teenager and adult your behaviors and routines are going to create.
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