-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Videos to help encourage and improve the minds of men.
- Thread starter -Minsc-
- Start date
NotMyProblemAnymoreCunt
Biggest Trails Stan
-Minsc-
Member
I've heard of this book many but have yet to read/listen to it. "Win friends", "influence people". One thing that would be nice to avoid is to simply go around using people without a care about them. I don't know if that's the point of the book but that is my own assumption which has kept me from checking it out. While I say "it would be nice go around not simply using people ", it's hard not to and I can see how I do use people. Fear of confrontation makes it easier to do so.
-Minsc-
Member
Fear can be a crippling thing. We put up out facades and wonder why life is so difficult. I believe some of this is from being taught to put a tough front and part getting caught up in our own lies. For me, my one lies are probably the bigger part of it. Then there's the fear of what will happen if I tell the truth.why? they will never tell you / don't know how to express themselves
On this topic, I was just listening to this video last week.
LegendOfKage
Member
I'm going to answer this with a you tube comment that I saw:
And three examples of people who found success in their lives using these techniques, according to wikipedia:
Like any effective tool or strategy, it can be used for harm or it can be used for good. The book wants you to be sincere, and truly enrich the lives of people around you by genuinely becoming interested in them, not arguing with them, seeing things from their perspective, and making them feel valued and important. The author makes a point against cheep flattery, and being untruthful for selfish goals.
If you do decide to try the book, even just ten minutes or so from the opening timestamp, I'd like to know what you thought.
Last edited:
-Minsc-
Member
A few days ago I did listen to 3-5 minutes at the beginning and read the exact comment you posted. I do plan to listen to it more. The biggest thing is to put aside is judging a book by it's according to my own assumption.
LegendOfKage
Member
I can understand that. I think it helps to think of it like this. Basically a long time ago, a guy realized there was no such thing as a guide to getting along with other people. Rather than come up with his own ideas, he looked to leaders that were good at inspiring loyalty and admiration. He studied history, conducted interviews, and read biographies with the goal of learning what made people great communicators. He especially payed attention to those who were liked by not only their peers, but also people below them in socioeconomic terms. Bosses who made their employees happy and productive through sincere appreciation get a lot of attention.
At one point, the author shares a quote that he clipped out and pasted on to his mirror so he sees it every day:
"I shall pass this way but once; any good therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again."
In many ways, the book is about being a better person, and being the type of person that you'd want in your own life. That's why I posted it as a response to this thread.
To use an example from my own life, I had a co-worker a number of years ago that did really inconsistent work, and it made my job harder because of it. Before reading the book, I would have known enough not to criticize her in front of other co-workers, and I would have tried to say something nice before or after pointing out that she wasn't doing her work right. Instead, I took an example of her best work, and I brought it to her. In front of a few other co-workers, I thanked her for work, and I explained what I liked about it. I told her that I was glad to be working with her, and I thanked them all for the work they do. In doing so, I was able to educate several co-workers at once about how their work affects mine, and I was able to do so without criticism, or making anyone feel attacked. Not only that, but I was able to make my co-workers feel appreciated, and everything I said was true.
John Marston
GAF's very own treasure goblin
Quasicat
Member
I never knew how important it was for mental health to get out there and be with others, until I went to Men’s Bible Study. I don’t have much in common with them socially, but we do have great conversations about subjects only men could relate to.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Why can't you all ever "discern" when youre getting fleeced by the likes of Joel Osteen and all those mega church grifters?
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
I discern that all the time. Joel olsteen is a charlatan.
Days like these...
Have a Blessed Day
Ok so you're the exception but there's a reason why those churches are so massive others ain't "discerning".
What makes you think all Christians go to a church led by grifters? We don't.
Raonak
Banned
Not just for men, but everybody, It's best to take a step back and look at the wider picture.
Just think about your life and the struggles that you are going through. The truth is, you are not alone.
People all over the world, through every time period are going through or have gone through similar levels of struggle.
It's because life IS struggle.
It's the struggle to survive, the struggle for comfort, the struggle to find people, the struggle to create a better life, and the struggle to live up to our full potential.
It's born from desire. Humans are hardwired to seek improvement of our lives. It's what makes our species so successful.
The key to life is channelling the struggle of your life into productive ways, instead of blaming other people for your problems.
Just think about your life and the struggles that you are going through. The truth is, you are not alone.
People all over the world, through every time period are going through or have gone through similar levels of struggle.
It's because life IS struggle.
It's the struggle to survive, the struggle for comfort, the struggle to find people, the struggle to create a better life, and the struggle to live up to our full potential.
It's born from desire. Humans are hardwired to seek improvement of our lives. It's what makes our species so successful.
The key to life is channelling the struggle of your life into productive ways, instead of blaming other people for your problems.