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[Dilbert]

I mean, it's that day again, and things just don't seem to work the way they used to: the jump shot is sketchy at best, you've already seen the hairline, and most days, I can muster up cocky or funny but not both.

Is there any way that I can trade myself in for a newer model, or am I stuck with the current generation until the battery finally dies?

 

[Triumph]

You've jumped the shark, my friend. There's nothing for it but to drink and mutter darkly of times past, when you were relevant... trust me, I know these things and have been down these roads.

 

[ghostface]

Go to Walmart, get newer model. Then, using a blowdryer and a razor, peel off the serial tags on both models, switch, and return to Walmart for a full refund. Works everytime.

 

[Son of Godzilla]

Forget upgrading, go get some mods done. Breast enhancement with a Segway soldered somewhere is the way to go.

 

[demi]

I have a dead pixel

 

[Richiban]

I have a dead pixel

Have you tried Viagra?

 

[demi]

My model is of japanese nature, will the exchange it for an american one? I am very concerned for my well being.

 

[Jotaro]

You buy it at Costco next time.

 

[Doth Togo]

You take care of business like this guy.

 

[Dilbert]

So far, this has been one of the shittiest birthdays on record.