Support NeoGAF

[Henry Panic]

Sometimes, you drop a hard load but the storage doesn't have enough room, leading to over flow.

Sometimes using too much teepees will cause the same problem, or a mixture of both.

But as my friend Geronimo used to tell me, you have to use what's available.

I use the end of a clothes hanger. It won't go in far, but just enough to push down the stuff so when you flush, the current will shove it the rest of the way.

Has to be a longer coat hanger though. If you use a small one, or one from your kids clothes it's going to make the hook part come too close to the bottom of the toilet, and that's where your hand is going to be.

Last thing you want is to slip and get your hand mushed inside that unsanitary situation.

What other ways do you unclog your toilet when a plunger isn't available?

 

[Laieon]

Hot water and dish soap.


Or my mouth.

 

[kanjobazooie]

I use my katana to slice the poop into small pieces.

Paging our toilet etiquette expert Elder Legend

 

[Tams]

Had to use my hand at a public swimming once.

Never again.

 

[ReBurn]

My arm. All the way to the elbow.

If I didn't have a plunger I'd probably call a plumber. Or go buy a plunger.

 

[Henry Panic]

Hot water and dish soap.


Or my mouth.

Bah, you edited in that first line later, have confidence in your mouth.

 

[Mossybrew]

Just buy a plunger OP for crying out loud.

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

My teenage son blocks the toilet too often. Logs that would scare a lumberjack. A plunger does nothing to fix it. A plastic knife to cut up the offending material while not scratching the porcelain coating to avoid future problems is the go. Gross and one of those shitty dad jobs. I'm about to go all Yankee doo doo dandy and flush his head down the toilet hazing style if he keeps it up much longer. Time to pass the plastic knives to the next generation, I know what to get him for his next birthday.

 

[JC 1080P CRT]

A plastic knife to cut up the offending material while not scratching the porcelain coating to avoid future problems is the go. Gross and one of those shitty dad jobs.

This guy dads hard.

My late grandfather had a long screwdriver dedicated specifically to manually mincing manure prior to flushing. He would use it if he wasn't confident that the waste would flush successfully, usually when he had a bout of constipation.

I may not be half the man that he was, but I will carry his tradition with me now and to future generations.

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

This guy dads hard.

My late grandfather had a long screwdriver dedicated specifically to manually mincing manure prior to flushing. He would use it if he wasn't confident that the waste would flush successfully, usually when he had a bout of constipation.

I may not be half the man that he was, but I will carry his tradition with me now and to future generations.

One does not simply miss the bowl with a shit grand-dad joke.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

 

[Blade2.0]

Just flush after the first log comes out and you'll never plug it up

 

[Elder Legend]

I use my katana to slice the poop into small pieces.

Paging our toilet etiquette expert Elder Legend

I see I have been summoned. Usually what I do for toilet flushing issues is a technique what I call a "time bending shit". To avoid future problems, make sure to take a shit at 11:59 right before midnight. Once the clock strikes midnight, a insane time anomaly occurs. Not only are you now taking the same shit, but now its a different day and you have time traveled. By making it a different day, the toilet gets cleaned up again and you do not have to flush. You should try it sometimes.

Also, one thing kanjobazooie forgot to mention is that he sometimes like to chop of the mice balls once they have been used up and then puts it in the toilet. While it may sound counter-productive , the slimy texture of the balls (according to his personal experiences) actually makes everything else in the toilet evaporate and you can flush again.

 

[BlackTron]

Yeah I remember last time I was in this dire situation without a plunger. I went out and bought a plunger.

 

[Trogdor1123]

I feel like this is related to the burrito thread….

 

[SiteSeer]

fucking ace movie, was the sequel any good?

 

[Maiden Voyage]

fucking ace movie, was the sequel any good?

The book, yes. Movie, no.

 

[belmarduk]

Is this a joke thread?
Use bleach.

 

[chromhound]

Had to use my hand at a public swimming once.

Never again.

Jesus...

 

[Kev Kev]

 

[Sleepwalker]

My teenage son blocks the toilet too often. Logs that would scare a lumberjack. A plunger does nothing to fix it. A plastic knife to cut up the offending material while not scratching the porcelain coating to avoid future problems is the go. Gross and one of those shitty dad jobs. I'm about to go all Yankee doo doo dandy and flush his head down the toilet hazing style if he keeps it up much longer. Time to pass the plastic knives to the next generation, I know what to get him for his next birthday.

Sounds like you need a poop knife

 

[ThatStupidLion]

Depends the bathroom, but ive used my hand on more than one ocassion

 

[Ozzy Onya A2Z]

Sounds like you need a poop knife

BRB, informing the kids they too can request a poop knife at friends' parties/houses. Right up there with blinker fluid.

 

[PapaEmeritus]

My teenage son blocks the toilet too often. Logs that would scare a lumberjack. A plunger does nothing to fix it. A plastic knife to cut up the offending material while not scratching the porcelain coating to avoid future problems is the go. Gross and one of those shitty dad jobs. I'm about to go all Yankee doo doo dandy and flush his head down the toilet hazing style if he keeps it up much longer. Time to pass the plastic knives to the next generation, I know what to get him for his next birthday.

Yep or worst case and quickest if you save chinsse food soup containers , cut it up to give you a good triangle, it fuckin sucks but ya gotta do what ya gotta do

Edit: also wife "why do you walk around angry all the time, I miss the old you"
THE OLD ME WASNT CUTTING SHIT WITH MY HOT AND SOUR SOUP CONTAINER WHILE MY SON DESTROYS THE HOUSE!

 

[diffusionx]

My teenage son blocks the toilet too often. Logs that would scare a lumberjack. A plunger does nothing to fix it. A plastic knife to cut up the offending material while not scratching the porcelain coating to avoid future problems is the go. Gross and one of those shitty dad jobs. I'm about to go all Yankee doo doo dandy and flush his head down the toilet hazing style if he keeps it up much longer. Time to pass the plastic knives to the next generation, I know what to get him for his next birthday.

why cant you make him slice up his own poop

maybe that'll teach him to drink some more water or something

 

[nush]

The book, yes. Movie, no.

I liked the sequel, never read the book though.

 

[GeekyDad]

Is this a joke thread?
Use bleach.

Was gonna say both things.

And if no bleach, you could also try vinegar.

 

[Esca]

Electric hand mixer

 

[HoodWinked]

 

[Maiden Voyage]

I liked the sequel, never read the book though.

I love Welsh's work so I'm a bit biased, but the novel sequel is called Porno and it is absolutely worth a read.

 

[-Minsc-]

When the plunger failed I've used my trusty toilet auger. The tool of professionals.

Leave it to the Chinese to innovate? I wonder if it works without the jump cut?

 

[Hal.]

Get a 2 litre plastic bottle and cut it in half. Leave the cap on and use the top half as a plunger.

This has saved me MULTIPLE times

 

[jason10mm]

Depends the bathroom, but ive used my hand on more than one ocassion

Had to use my hand at a public swimming once.

Never again.

Note to self, Do NOT shake hands at the GAF 25 year reunion!

 

[DGrayson]

Take a wire coat hanger and cut it so one end is just straight wire. Then bend the end to a small hook so the wire won't scratch your toilet. Then just poke up there and pull paper back if necessary. Then dispose of the hanger. Simple

 

[Malachai]

Take one shoe and sock off, stick your foot in there and give it a good mash. Make sure you get plenty between your toes.

 

[niilokin]

Whenever I make a sea monster of a shit I blast it witth hot water from my bidet (the small shower next to the toilet seat in every civilized household)and turn it into fine mush, exclaiming; "Ia! Dagon! Take this offering to your depths!" and then flush it and hear the plumbing gurgle with abhorrent gratitude....... next morning I just pick up the gold artifacts brought by the deep ones to my door step.

 

[NeoIkaruGAF]

Piling more shit on top of it usually does the job. Thanks gravity!

Spoiler

not really. What the hell do people eat to produce turds that dense? I guess the fact that American toilets are already full of water to the brim to begin with doesn’t help

 

[nightmare-slain]

a bucket of hot water to fill the bowl up as much as possible. i'm no physics expert but my dumb brain tells me that more water on the poop/paper helps apply force and help shift it. you can try wrap clingfilm (saran wrap?) around the bowl to trap the air and apply pressure something like this....

 

[AJUMP23]

A Sewer Snake.

 

[Stitch]

I'll just use the brush

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

Once, when having a clogged toilet (police bust don't ask) I had to call a plumber and he gave a pro tip; wrap a plastic bag around your toilet brush and use it as a plunger. It worked. I called him back to say thanks and that his services weren't needed anymore.

 

[TransTrender]

Prayer

 

[winjer]

One of these does the trick

 

[DeepEnigma]

Take a wire coat hanger and cut it so one end is just straight wire. Then bend the end to a small hook so the wire won't scratch your toilet. Then just poke up there and pull paper back if necessary. Then dispose of the hanger. Simple

Do you do back ally jobs as well with those fishing talents?

 

[Henry Panic]

Whenever I make a sea monster of a shit I blast it witth hot water from my bidet.

In America you be a man and scrap that toilet paper. Save the bidets for the euros.

 

[Ash Sparrow]

My friend Paddy showed me how to unclog with a few marmalade sandwiches.

 

[ResilientBanana]

Go buy a Beehive plunger.

 

[Henry Panic]

My friend Paddy showed me how to unclog with a few marmalade sandwiches.

Did Paddy use mayonnaise?





Charlie Brown joke for those who know what that is.

 

[AlteredForms]

Or my mouth.

 

[badblue]