Where does your real life meet your online life?

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Northeastmonk

Northeastmonk

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Tonight I was asked a question; "What would your life have been like had you not gotten into gaming?". I responded, "I don't know - I never saw it like that". "Maybe sports because I played sports when I was young. Maybe girls, but I did date a long time ago". I couldn't really answer that question because I enjoy what I do. Then I got a bit mustered and thought about it some more. I don't get too involved with sports now because all the team players from my youth are gone, but I can recite practically the entire '95 and '96 Cardinal's roster if I tried and point out my Upper Deck and Ultra Fleer baseball cards.

I talked briefly with this family member about life and everything. I'm in nursing school at the moment, living on my own, I work when I can, and I enjoy gaming. My family wonders if all my online friends are causing me tunnel vision or isolation. Am I keeping myself from life because I have people online to learn about, come to know, and become friends? My goals have been to do well in school, get a job, house, new car, etc. I don't go to bars, church, or any events around town. I think I've hit this speed bump where I'm 29 and I want to act like a guy. I don't want to act like I'm belonging to something that isn't me. I don't make money in the game(s) industry, nor do I gain anything except buying a game and enjoying it with others. I love that part of it, but am I seriously isolating myself? I don't have a popular Twitter account nor do I ever get shout outs by a developer from being a fan. I like to follow the various social interactions that are out there even if it's just some humorous comment about events that are going on in the industry or something for the fans.

How far apart is your social life from your real life? Do you include your online persona or personality with your real life? Do you rely on it for Maslow's hierarchy of needs?

Do you not reach out to do something socially because you'd rather chat with others from around the world or in another state?

I play games, I get excited about upcoming news and releases, but I can also put down the controller at any time to go do something. It's just I don't know if this question means anything? I enjoy what I do. Does it mean I've shut down a possible future life for myself? I don't have a girlfriend and I lost contact with people like everyone does in life. I've met quite a bit of people from various outlets, but that's all sort of dried up. I've lost contact because we had nothing in common, so it's not like I have a problem meeting people. Maybe my personality has taken isolation as a personal threat. Maybe I come off as being an introvert, but I'm actually an extrovert trying to find my own click to be with. I realize I'm in the same boat as a lot of people. I love the people I've met and talked to on GAF, but has it sort of made me channel things out. eg: laughing in the dark or commenting to yourself. I guess some parts of this are hard to define because we don't have a time machine.

The online community has become a large part of why I'm happy, but some parts of my real life aren't. I'm not a case scenario at all. I am just not benefiting I guess from a lot of what I like and that's hard to say.
 
You're way over-analyzing everything about your life. If you work and are in school full time (or even part time), you rarely have time for anything else besides what you personally gain enjoyment out of. The internet and online communities such as GAF are quick, convenient, and easy, which is why it's easy to get sucked into them. You don't seem to have an issue with meeting people or pulling away from your digital realm when you have to, so I wouldn't be concerned with you being overly introverted. You don't have to do activities you don't have an interest in because of some arbitrary age obligation.

To answer your questions, my social life and "real" life are completely separate, not intentionally, simply because I'm busy. I participate in what I want when I'm available to. Any persona I have online has never come up in my life otherwise. And no, I don't restrict myself from things because I have some specific desire to speak to someone somewhere else--it doesn't matter. The things you do locally and people that are immediately around you impact you much more and, to that point, are more important.
 
I had an ex girlfriend make fun of me whenever I would check neogaf after work at night. She always bitched about how I would spend to much time checking the forum instead of going to bed. We broke up a year Later.


Other then that, I don't game online, and the only thing social about online is instagram and facebook.

Back in Middle/HS, my good friends all used to play on bnet when starcraft and diablo 2 was popular. Made a clan, all the usual online politics bullshit. Looking back at it, what a waste of fucking time.
 
Almost in no way connected. I have guys I play with online but I know pretty much all of them IRL, nobody I know IRL is connected to my online.. "persona"? in any way really. i.e. on places like GAF.
 
I never get this mentality of " if I play games I can only ever play games and I'm not normal and can't have irl friends etc etc etc ".

Cold hard truth is, you've never had a girlfriend, and you don't have lots of irl friends because of you. Not video games.

A ton of people here on this forum even are hardcore gamers and yet are married and very social people. I also game tons, and I'm a massive geek. And yet I still have a bunch of friends and a girlfriend.

It's on you bro, not video games.
 
My online life and real life are one and the same, since my profession and business require that I blog. Since my work is game-related (game attorney), I have connected my professional life with my GAF account by putting my site in my profile.

It is weird, because Googling my name brings up a ton of my sites. I Google other people every once in a while, and they have almost no online presence. It is odd to me now, particularly in such an online-focused world.

Then again, the only way I get any clients is through organic search and blogging. So being out there is necessary.
 
These are amazing responses. Thanks everyone. I never want to give up. I've witnessed and lived through the changes that some people go through. They discover something wasn't meant for them or they move on in another direction. It was a time to be told and a time to have happen. I am "Northeastmonk" to anyone who knows me by that name regardless of who I meet. It was a hard question because I didn't think about it like that. I thought maybe I was spending too much time concentrating on what I liked without wondering what another person or group would be like. If I let something go that I wasn't suppose to or I didn't do something beneficial for my life. I shouldn't over think these things either. If someone were to come into my life or if I found a group somewhere down the road; I wish that they respect my decision to be who I want to be in life.

I want to meet someone who appreciates the same things I do, be that friend or partner. I want to be able to purchase things that I enjoy and I don't want to feel ashamed for playing video games and chatting about them online. I am enjoying reading these responses.
 
I separate them as best as I can
tumblr_inline_mqu6qisIek1qz4rgp.jpg
 
The stuff I do online is mostly a diversion and time waster, there's very little relation between what I do on forums and what I do in real life. Sure, it's a fun diversion, but that's ultimately all that it is - which is why I'm not bothered getting banned on the site. I could get banned by GAF tomorrow, and it wouldn't even be close to the end of the world.

Inb4 practical jokester mod.
 
Get into girls? You can't date if you play games? What?

Also, I'm the same person everywhere. This isn't 98 where the internet is this foreign thing. I come here to waste some time and/or discuss things I like exactly the same way I do in "real life".
 
It was ideally separate before I started using my Twitter account for a mandatory class on developing a web presence.

Now all of my class must suffer from reading gaming and programming related stuff all the time.
 
Northeastmonk said:
Tonight I was asked a question; "What would your life have been like had you not gotten into gaming?". I responded, "I don't know - I never saw it like that". "Maybe sports because I played sports when I was young. Maybe girls, but I did date a long time ago". I couldn't really answer that question because I enjoy what I do. Then I got a bit mustered and thought about it some more. I don't get too involved with sports now because all the team players from my youth are gone, but I can recite practically the entire '95 and '96 Cardinal's roster if I tried and point out my Upper Deck and Ultra Fleer baseball cards.

I talked briefly with this family member about life and everything. I'm in nursing school at the moment, living on my own, I work when I can, and I enjoy gaming. My family wonders if all my online friends are causing me tunnel vision or isolation. Am I keeping myself from life because I have people online to learn about, come to know, and become friends? My goals have been to do well in school, get a job, house, new car, etc. I don't go to bars, church, or any events around town. I think I've hit this speed bump where I'm 29 and I want to act like a guy. I don't want to act like I'm belonging to something that isn't me. I don't make money in the game(s) industry, nor do I gain anything except buying a game and enjoying it with others. I love that part of it, but am I seriously isolating myself? I don't have a popular Twitter account nor do I ever get shout outs by a developer from being a fan. I like to follow the various social interactions that are out there even if it's just some humorous comment about events that are going on in the industry or something for the fans.

How far apart is your social life from your real life? Do you include your online persona or personality with your real life? Do you rely on it for Maslow's hierarchy of needs?

Do you not reach out to do something socially because you'd rather chat with others from around the world or in another state?

I play games, I get excited about upcoming news and releases, but I can also put down the controller at any time to go do something. It's just I don't know if this question means anything? I enjoy what I do. Does it mean I've shut down a possible future life for myself? I don't have a girlfriend and I lost contact with people like everyone does in life. I've met quite a bit of people from various outlets, but that's all sort of dried up. I've lost contact because we had nothing in common, so it's not like I have a problem meeting people. Maybe my personality has taken isolation as a personal threat. Maybe I come off as being an introvert, but I'm actually an extrovert trying to find my own click to be with. I realize I'm in the same boat as a lot of people. I love the people I've met and talked to on GAF, but has it sort of made me channel things out. eg: laughing in the dark or commenting to yourself. I guess some parts of this are hard to define because we don't have a time machine.

The online community has become a large part of why I'm happy, but some parts of my real life aren't. I'm not a case scenario at all. I am just not benefiting I guess from a lot of what I like and that's hard to say.
Click to expand...

This is the beauty of the internet. It bridges isolation. If you're a loner that enjoys videogames, you can reach out and socialise with other loners that love videogames, and therefore scratch the social itch all humans have.

This could never have happened pre-internet, as you would have never met those people.
 
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