This isnt true. If there are 100 short men and only 50 women willing to date them, 50 short men would be in a relationship and the other 50 would not. The 50 who are not would still be correct to say being short is the problem.
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Where my incels at?
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This isnt true. If there are 100 short men and only 50 women willing to date them, 50 short men would be in a relationship and the other 50 would not. The 50 who are not would still be correct to say being short is the problem.
I would have had different problems but chronically single incel with no hope wouldnt be one of them.
Kings Field
Member
I was fortunate enough to choose a career in healthcare where I was swimming in bitches and married a woman I worked with.
Feel bad for all of you that have sausage fests at work
Feel bad for all of you that have sausage fests at work
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Punished Miku
Human Rights Subscription Service
This was my path. Gotta think strategically. Helps your chances when you're the only guy working with like 30 women and you're in Grey's Anatomy cosplay all day.
JimmyRustler
Member
You can’t know that. You have to understand that you are just the product of your upbringing and your experiences. Your height is not holding you back. If height would be the universal problem I would not be talking to you but banging chicks left and right. Only, I’m not.
FunkMiller
Member
You started by saying you're short, that's why you can't find anyone. That's demonstrably not true. Same goes for if you're physically ugly. Plenty of ugly dudes in relationships. Neither thing is the reason you're single.
But maybe the fifty short dudes who do get the girl treat women better than the fifty short dudes who don't? Maybe they see them as equal human beings, with all the same frailties and strengths as men? Maybe they make an effort to improve themselves in every way possible, and that's why they are more successful?
Just a thought...
I've seen not one of shred of evidence of that
I used to work in PR/Communications which was majority women, it didnt matter. I'm just not attractive enough that it ever matters
Height is 100% the biggest problem for me. You dont even know how short I am, so I know your statement is baseless.
If I wasnt so short, I would at least fine a few women but I never do.
MastAndo
Member
As someone whose relationship is unraveling before his eyes (albeit a fairly new, though pretty damn intense one), there are worse things than being single. I was single for years and years before this, happy as a pig in shit doing what I want, whenever I wanted, content with taking home the occasional bar trash to get my fill. Somehow this one made it sound like a great idea to me, now I have no other option but to emotionally coddle someone if I want to make it work, like with every other woman I've gotten serious with before this, half the time not even getting what sparked it or what I did that was such a big deal. This shit is for the birds.
Its mainly just luck, looks, or money. There are people that beat their wives that still get women because they have the things women want. Its not about being nice to them or whatever.
Yea I probably wouldnt mind being single as much if I could still have sex, but I dont. When you're celibate and also single its fucking depressing.
FunkMiller
Member
AJUMP23
Parody of actual AJUMP23
I need a little more optimism. Because you need to be willing to put yourself out there.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
c'mon man, now you really are just doing this to yourself.
JimmyRustler
Member
You don’t understand. What I want to say to you is that you would not be the same person if you would have grown up tall, so there is no point in thinking about what your life would be like if you’d be tall. You cannot know. I’m just telling you that tall people also have problems in that regard because you seem to think we don’t.
I didnt say dont be nice to women. You should be a good person in general.
But that isnt the difference between getting women or being an incel. An an attractive asshole gets women.
Big Baller
Al Pachinko, Konami President
I know people who arent that different from me as a person, or even objectively worse than me who do better in this area of life. I dont think its crazy to conclude 'if I was taller my results would be more like theirs'.
And I'm not saying tall people have no problems lol, just that when it comes to dating they very often at least have some options unlike guys like me.
Unless you're attractive.
I wasnt attractive to women even before I felt pity or was desperate either. People really love telling men who have been beaten down the years that the reason is......how they feel after being beaten down for years.
nush
Member
Assholes are confident, IE they don't give a fuck what someone thinks of them.
Guilty_AI
Member
28. It might, there's always the chance i'll pick up some hobby where i'll get to meet more people or something else.
My attitude towards the whole thing is just not to worry too much one way or another. If i feel like dating someone again or someone specific i'll try, if i don't i won't force myself.
You ignored the attractive part. If you're just an asshole, it wont matter
nush
Member
You might not be a model but I'm sure you're physically attractive to these women. If they werent physically attracted to you they wouldn't be with you.I'm not attractive and
-Minsc-
Member
I met my wife at church, but I know that is not for everyone. Any community school courses you could take? The biggest thing I found was being in an informal and in-person social setting helped me greatly.
MastAndo
Member
Yeah, I hear you. Sorry for using your thread as a means for me to vent, just saw it as an opportunity to get it off my chest.
I don't think being short is a death sentence, but it's disingenuous to say it doesn't hurt your chances (or caliber of women you can pull). I think it does, just like any other lacking physical quality and I agree with the point that the current state of the dating world does hurt guys like you.
That said, I do think you can do other things to make yourself more appealing - work out, dress well, make sure you're well groomed, etc. It's easier said than done, and by the sounds of it you are ready to throw in the towel, but try to work on things that will make you carry yourself in a more confident way. Women can smell the stench of insecurity on you, but if you learn to be happy with yourself and carry yourself in such a manner, they'll sense that too. I'm not winning any beauty contests either, but that's my experience at least.
Meh, I went to college and didnt get one date the entire time. None of this shit is going to make a difference for me, it obviously can for some guys.
There's this weird aversion to admitting some people just arent desirable.
Krappadizzle
Member
How short are we talking? Unless you suffer from some form of Dwarfism, I've seen plenty of shorter fellas with smoke shows on their arms while I'm bartending.
In my experience with women, if you are generally an attractive person(decent personal grooming, decent shape) you'll not have any problems attracting a girl. I know when I'd let myself go and not really manage my appearance, it'd be a tougher get, to pick up a girl at a bar, but I could almost always still pull it off by leaning into other qualities I have that women would find attratice(humor, playing music).
Your own attitude will have the biggest impact. Don't let yourself get discouraged, be ok being told no. I would tell my buddies all the time, I'll go shoot my shot at any woman, worst they could do was tell me no. And be willing to learn from your mistakes. You'll make them, learn. I've messed up so many pick-ups, or failed to land the joke the way I intended.. It happens, let it go, and move on.
And manage your expectations. Most of us at best are 6/10 kinda of people(whether that's conventionally attractive, or other things) and everyone tends to shoot way above their league and then use that experience to paint all women in that light. It's not how it works. Most normal ass girls are just as lonely or insecure as you guys.
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Oh no, your comment fit in perfectly.
Worked out my entire life, dress fine, I'm groomed. None of it matters man. I'm not JUST short. I'm kind of ugly(been called ugly many times) and as I've said a few times not being white also hurts chances a lot.
I think therre's an aversion to admitting undesirable men exist and sometimes there's not much they can do about it.
Kings Field
Member
I pulled lots of women out of my league due to my personality and charm. It didn’t matter if I was overweight, underweight, ripped, buff, etc. the majority of women don’t care about looks. I married someone I didn’t think I would have had a chance with, but interacting with someone for 12 hours a day, three to four days a week helps things.
In healthcare we are constantly communicating even when it’s busy and even more so when there is downtime. You get to know people and get attracted to them on more than just a looks level.
There was some nurses/doctors that are attractive physically but personality wise you want to jump off a cliff when they talk to you and that physical attractiveness turns to nauseousness.
Confidence is key, believe me. It’s the most important thing.
I'm 5 foot 3.
And 'grooming and decent shape' are icing on the cake, but the cake is your face and your height. An ugly short man white a nice haircut isnt' going to do well out there. Lets be honest about this stuff man.
I also think, many of you guys are white and talking about the experiences of white men which is a much different ball game. Just keep that mind as well.
No you didnt. If you looked like me, none of that would have worked. I'm really annoyed seeing people say this. If we switched bodies, those same women wouldnt have given a fuck about you. Guarantee it.
To say ' the majority of women dont care about looks' tells me you look good enough where it doesnt matter. but doesnt mean women dont care about it.
I'll say this. Average white men dont have to do anything special to get women. They can 'just be confident' and get some results.
But it doesnt work that way for someone like me, well below average ethnic man.
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IDKFA
I am Become Bilbo Baggins
A few girls in my team at work about their ideal man last week.
I didn't catch the whole convo, so I might have missed the context, but I caught that they were looking for a man who is well over 6ft, has a giant dick that looks like 12inch beer can made flesh, makes six figures, has the body of Zeus and is the best fuck in the seen and unseen universe.
Good luck finding a literal God, ladies.
I didn't catch the whole convo, so I might have missed the context, but I caught that they were looking for a man who is well over 6ft, has a giant dick that looks like 12inch beer can made flesh, makes six figures, has the body of Zeus and is the best fuck in the seen and unseen universe.
Good luck finding a literal God, ladies.
FunkMiller
Member
Sadly, I’m taken.
Trunx81
Member
And share him, because if he exists, he will be public domain.
It’s still possible. One of the ugliest dudes I know is huge gamer + anime geek, I’m talking buys every system, wall of every game, and a full on otaku. He has the anime figurines, posters, majored in Japanese in school and worked at a gamestop for years. He’s non-white, and also short, 5 foot 3 at best, and face full of acne + glasses. Awkward guy and not smooth at all. Well guess what, he went to Japan to teach English for a few years and then magically came back married to a Japanese woman. He’s expecting his first kid now. Anything is possible.
Lol, yea I mean a white guy going to asia has it on easy mode. (I know he's not white)
And in general, I understand the dating world is a lot better in most other places in the world. But I live where I live.
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nush
Member
My height starts with 5. Your problem is you've been doing it wrong all your whole life
So instead of self reflection you've kept on doing the same thing and then building up a list of reasons that are beyond your control of why women won't date you and date "Assholes".
I've seen this in real life, there was this guy lets call him Mark (for that was his real name). He wasn't an incel but he was a nerd suffering severe pussy drought. So he's sent by his company to work in China for one month. He's a nerd. likes Asian chicks, he's there for a month and I'm being his wing man. He's white, not short but not tall, little bit fat and dresses average and in possibly on of the easiest places in the world to get laid for a MONTH. Fails to bed even one Asian chick because he refuses to change his modus operandi that wasn't working for him in America and thought it would work on Chinese women even though I'm telling him just do/say X,Y,Z. The dude was an epic fail when he had life on easy mode for a month.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
He said he's non-white.
What is he then? If he's japanese....no shit he could got to Japan and find someone.
Pegasus Actual
Member
Put on the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack for The Karate Kid, go for a walk, hold eye-contact with every broad ya see.
Krappadizzle
Member
Just not true in my anecdotal experience. I've just so seen so many short guys, both Black, and especially Mexican, that just have gorgeous women all the time.
Also, it's why I kept saying attractive. Attractiveness is not only your appearance. You can be very mediocre looking and if you can play an instrument, girls would easily come talk to you. There's so many avenues of what women find attractive that to become hyper fixated on things, especially things you can't change, are not gonna make you attractive. It's why you've constantly heard forever that woman find "confidence and humor" some of the most attractive qualities in a mate. Nobody likes being around a constant bummer and person throwing pity at themselves.
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My height starts with 5. Your problem is you've been doing it wrong all your whole life
So instead of self reflection you've kept on doing the same thing and then building up a list of reasons that are beyond your control of why women won't date you and date "Assholes".
I've seen this in real life, there was this guy lets call him Mark (for that was his real name). He wasn't an incel but he was a nerd suffering severe pussy drought. So he's sent by his company to work in China for one month. He's a nerd. likes Asian chicks, he's there for a month and I'm being his wing man. He's white, not short but not tall, little bit fat and dresses average and in possibly on of the easiest places in the world to get laid for a MONTH. Fails to bed even one Asian chick because he refuses to change his modus operandi that wasn't working for him in America and thought it would work on Chinese women even though I'm telling him just do/say X,Y,Z. The dude was an epic fail when he had life on easy mode for a month.
I didnt say you had to be 6 feet tall to get women.......
I also havent done the same thing over the course of all these years. You're just making that up out of thin air to shit on me.
And I also dont think women ONLY date assholes. But the point is, the key factor is whether or not you're attractive. You could be a literal murderer and get women if you're attractive. thats what it comes down to.
your friend in China found a way to screw it up. Pathetic. But that doesnt mean there arent men who get rejected regardless.
FullMetalx117
Member
I promise there is probably a girl that had already found you attractive, but you weren't interested as she wasn't up to your standards.
I don't consider myself an attractive person, was made fun of pretty regularly growing up - weight, teeth, minority, etc. A lot of it got to me in teenage years, confidence was shot. Vowed to change in college and did glow up slightly (fixed teeth but I prob need jaw surgery with the overbite, worked out, wore better clothes, etc). But still didn't really pull anyone like some of my friends would. I feel you OP, I felt just as hopeless and I do think sexual fulfillment is pretty necessary for a man to put focus on other things that matter, sexual fulfillment will be on the back of your mind the entire time if you don't regularly get it.
But I don't know what happened - as I entered my mid/late 20s things changed. Yeah I'm still not top tier and getting all the quality matches (the pareto principle, 80% of women want to be with top 20% guys), but now I do regularly get matches and getting lucky more often whenever I go out. A man's brain fully develops by the age of 26. At that age, the best way I can describe is that I "cared" less. That's just more attractive for a women and of course being in later 20s a lot of women start thinking about the biological clock so they open up their pool more. With that mindset shift, even younger women will find you attractive (I actually get more of these than I do women my same age).
You need to find something and emphasize something unique about you. Short men can be smart/talented, make a lot of money, have an interesting hobby, good fashion, any of these type of things to make you stick out. Maybe you tell funny jokes, just good stories in general, have good travel experience.
I don't consider myself an attractive person, was made fun of pretty regularly growing up - weight, teeth, minority, etc. A lot of it got to me in teenage years, confidence was shot. Vowed to change in college and did glow up slightly (fixed teeth but I prob need jaw surgery with the overbite, worked out, wore better clothes, etc). But still didn't really pull anyone like some of my friends would. I feel you OP, I felt just as hopeless and I do think sexual fulfillment is pretty necessary for a man to put focus on other things that matter, sexual fulfillment will be on the back of your mind the entire time if you don't regularly get it.
But I don't know what happened - as I entered my mid/late 20s things changed. Yeah I'm still not top tier and getting all the quality matches (the pareto principle, 80% of women want to be with top 20% guys), but now I do regularly get matches and getting lucky more often whenever I go out. A man's brain fully develops by the age of 26. At that age, the best way I can describe is that I "cared" less. That's just more attractive for a women and of course being in later 20s a lot of women start thinking about the biological clock so they open up their pool more. With that mindset shift, even younger women will find you attractive (I actually get more of these than I do women my same age).
You need to find something and emphasize something unique about you. Short men can be smart/talented, make a lot of money, have an interesting hobby, good fashion, any of these type of things to make you stick out. Maybe you tell funny jokes, just good stories in general, have good travel experience.
My anecdotal experience is the exact opposite. I'd love to see where short black men are walking with gorgeous women all the time. I dont even see that in Africa where my family is from and everyone is black there.
The good news is, we dont have to only look at our anecdotal experience.
we know, for a fact, that women are choosing to stay single. Making it harder and harder for men by sheer numbers. If a woman wants to be single, nothing you do matters. The ones that are left will have so many men to choose from, and their standards will be high
Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?
The word ‘spinster’ is still freighted with pity and misogyny, yet the number of women living this way is growing. Emma John says it’s time to reconsider what it means to be ‘never-married’
www.theguardian.com
Krappadizzle
Member
For sure it's a mine field. I won't deny that. I think social media has done so much harm to dating in general that certain standards are shifting to unreasonable levels. The journey is worth going through though, finding a partner and moving on to the next step in life is absolutely worth fighting for. The alternative is way worse.My anecdotal experience is the exact opposite. I'd love to see where short black men are walking with gorgeous women all the time. I dont even see that in Africa where my family is from and everyone is black there.
The good news is, we dont have to only look at our anecdotal experience.
we know, for a fact, that women are choosing to stay single. Making it harder and harder for men by sheer numbers. If a woman wants to be single, nothing you do matters. The ones that are left will have so many men to choose from, and their standards will be high
Why are increasing numbers of women choosing to be single?
The word ‘spinster’ is still freighted with pity and misogyny, yet the number of women living this way is growing. Emma John says it’s time to reconsider what it means to be ‘never-married’
I have no evidence of anyone ever finding me attractive. nice of you to say, but there is no proof of it.
I'm older than you and I have some of those traits. I'm smart(went to the ivy league), have had some pretty good jobs, I'm fairly funny.
None of these things have ever mattered. Nothing I do, or say, or anything has ever mattered or made any difference. there times when I cared less too. Didnt matter.
The only conclusion is *gasp* being short and ugly might be the problem.
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