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Deleted member 17706
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I can't speak of anything but my own experience, but I just don't see it existing in a remotely comparable scale in the west. Definitely not in the United States, at least.
Why are people no longer having sex in Japan?
- Thread starter Trojita
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I can't speak of anything but my own experience, but I just don't see it existing in a remotely comparable scale in the west. Definitely not in the United States, at least.
efyu_lemonardo
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something seems to be deeply unbalanced for sex drives to be this low..
I blame romantic comedies. Vile filth.
This is what I'm thinking. How does a entire country's libido seemingly drop?
By the same token though, isn't English also one of the most difficult languages to learn for non-native speakers because it arbitrarily breaks a lot of its own rules?
Vice just did a thing about how Japan's sex industry is booming because of this.
The way everyone is kinda packed together and their intense interest in technology and isolationism paints the picture pretty clearly. Everyone ends up being hermits. The social status of women and all that is icing on the cake for them. Troubling economy means men arent acting like traditional men and take care of the wife, which is the social status women are programmed to feel there. But they are changing their ways because the men arent there for them, and finding a sort of independence in the workplace now. Vicious cycle etc etc
Ether_Snake
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This will just speed up the production of an immortality vaccine to stop population aging, AND Japan will end up with a low but appropriate population count in a highly robotized/automated world. This is just a transition period during which all sorts of attempts will be made to turn the situation around, until it becomes a boon to Japan's economy.
Japan has just been ahead of its time for 30 years, so it goes through everything we end up going through before we do: economic boom, housing bubble, automation, deflation, population aging, population shrinking, parity.
Japan has just been ahead of its time for 30 years, so it goes through everything we end up going through before we do: economic boom, housing bubble, automation, deflation, population aging, population shrinking, parity.
hey_it's_that_dog
benevolent sexism
Nonverbal communication and anticipating others' needs and feelings is important in any human culture. However, a collectivist culture like Japan's will emphasize it much more than an individualist culture (e.g., most Western cultures). In the west, we're proud when we don't care what other people think of us. In Japan, I'd have to imagine that sort of thing would be harshly frowned upon.
It's not that bad, most people are still very into doing some sex. I wouldn't put too much stock into the survey numbers for women either. Japanese girls are often bred to be pure and I wouldn't be surprised in the slightest to see an 18 yr old girl say she is not interested in sex then proceed to fall in love and be pregnant within a couple of months.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
Speaking as a native speaker of English with a North American accent.. Japanese phonetics are incredibly easy! What's the hardest thing... tsu つ ? A cinch. It's not like it's Cantonese or German or something. I'm sure Japanese is actually one of the easiest languages to pronounce. (Again, coming from my linguistic background anyway)
But, yes, the kanji characters are a huge barrier.
Asia is kind of like pre-Kinsey America. Everyone says they're celibate virgins..... But a lot of people are lying.
I understand the whole hermit philosophy, but what I don't understand is women and men en masse forgoing sex or sexual activity altogether. Sure the guys have their waifus and sex dolls etc, but what are the women doing?
hey_it's_that_dog
benevolent sexism
I agree. I took some Japanese in college and pronunciation wasn't hard. Neither was learning the hiragana and katakana alphabets. Kanji are a ballbreaker and the syntax is wildly different from English or the romance languages. Those seem like the real problems, but of course I don't know the finer points of "speaking correctly," which perhaps matters a lot to the Japanese.
yeah well sure that happens, but it's not a strange thing to be 25 and still virgin in japan even if you are an attractive cute girl.
hey_it's_that_dog
benevolent sexism
It's true that people should be skeptical of articles claiming a trend, but I think in this case it's pretty well supported by statistics. Opiate did make a good point, however, that this trend should be viewed in light of reproduction trends in other nations as well. When you do that, Japans situation is less extreme than it initially appears.
If I was there and acted gentlemanly, would the women like it or would it not even attract them?
It sounds like most of this aversion to intimacy stems from an association of sex with bad social/career outcomes. When sex causes more problems than pleasure ones bound to lose an appetite for it. I mean, stress wreaks havoc on healthy sex lives so it makes sense.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
Of course. But even that most "obvious" of virgins, the one who even her girlfriends think is a virgin, innocent to the core... Still might be lying. I've known some cases of definite, confirmed, pure virgins who are suddenly pregnant. Pressure to pretend you are "pure" no matter what. Actually it's even worse in Korea.
Who doesn't like to be treated decently? And they have all the evidence of gentlemely guys in Hollywood and even their own media... It's part of their romantic fantasy just as much as most women (or people in general). They just don't always get it.
efyu_lemonardo
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is it that hard to find a boyfriend?
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Deleted member 17706
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Finding someone that you'd want as a boyfriend? For a lot of people, yes.
For a pure person, it's not about finding a boyfriend, it's about finding the one boyfriend. For them it's a relief to not have to worry about it until they actually have one.
I've myself retroactively become pure.. sorta, in the last few years. It has nothing to do with wanting to become an innocent pure japanese girl.
I had 4-5 girlfriends in the 2004-2010 period and after a particularly bad breakup(with my fiancee) I felt I didn't want to bother with going through a relationship again unless I could convince myself that she was the one. I've conditioned myself to be free of desires and instead spend my time being productive with whatever I'm doing. I'm putting my effort toward doing what ever projects I've got going and for me it's a pretty sweet deal since I don't lose any time hassling with gfs or wasting quality time with someone I eventually will break up with.
The time for that will come when I find the right one and at that point I'll release my libido without any regrets. Abstaining from sex is easy when you have porn and something productive that will improve your life to occupy yourself with, I don't find it hard to believe that a person can have this mindset from the get go and simply not really care about these things until they are actually happening.
345triangle
Member
japan does have real problems with the birth rate and attitudes to sex, but this article is pretty questionable. a story about social norms probably shouldn't use a dominatrix as its primary source, and the other anecdotes aren't exactly illustrative of anything.
japanese is a pretty hard language in some ways, but the phonetics have nothing to do with it. it has one of the simplest, most minimal phonologies of any language, and the vast majority of the phonemes are found in english.
it's a lot easier to make yourself understood in japanese than something like chinese or even korean.
japanese is a pretty hard language in some ways, but the phonetics have nothing to do with it. it has one of the simplest, most minimal phonologies of any language, and the vast majority of the phonemes are found in english.
it's a lot easier to make yourself understood in japanese than something like chinese or even korean.
Yeah, I jus guess that was what I wasn't sure of. I have never been to Japan, so hearing that the men act rudely seemed odd. For all I know, that is "just how things are" and women wouldn't think twice to gentlemanly.
Also, I was on a bus recently in Hawaii and briefly spoke to a man and woman (both around my age, ~23, and appeared lost just as I was). They both knew limited english but were very kind to me, and treated each other just as I have seen couples in the U.S. (joking, flirty, etc.) The point of this story is that I need to resist making over-arching assumptions that all males in Japan are dicks to the women. Just like not all males anywhere are really nice nor really mean.
Yeah. Japanese pronunciation is pretty easy for me as an American. Japanese phonetics was like riding a bike and Mandarin was like a space mission to Mars.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Your story sounds completely different from that of a 25 year old female virgin, who I doubt has any experience being in a relationship..
yeah, you are probably right. But those virgins aren't virgins because they can't find willing boys, that's the point.
MemoryHumanity
Member
This will come as no surprise to anyone who has ever watched Japanese porn.
WERE like rabbits. My grandma had 7 children. However, overall, modern mexican familes only have two or three children.
they need to learn about swinging apparently.
Personally I think it is more about the reaction of the offended party than it is about the "understanding" of the situation.
For example if you treated some guy as though he was a peer despite the fact that he was actually a boss then in Japan you'd probably never live it down. In the West a sincere apology would probably suffice.
Subtle doesn't equal unforgiving.
Not to mention the point I referred to before, Japanese people don't seem to think about the underlying reasons themselves, they just maintain the status quo. No one can ever tell you that you need to show respect to someone because of their seniority and the fact that they coached the famous '93 high school baseball team, they cover up their inability to do so by saying that "It's too hard to explain," or "You wouldn't understand."
Yellowflashdude
Member
I am sure western porn is a great indicator of how westerners have sex.
When I told my girl I wanted to fill a condom full of cetaphil and shoot it on her face after 20 minutes of unenjoyable oral sex she didn't understand that is the way everyone in the USA has sex
Valkerionseven
Member
That may be a joke... but your not wrong lol.
The sex drive in the country seems to have dried up oddly enough... the 80s-90s... oooooo man. but now -.-
I figured a few years ago it was on the rise since, well the rate of teen pregnancy jumped quite a bit for awhile there, now it bottomed out again. Hell its pretty well known that a lot of teens in high school are having some kind of sexual contact even without saying as much over there.
Most likely there just needs to be healthy open sexual discussion. Most sexual problems and relationship problems are all about communication which, anyone who knows anything about Japan, they don't like to discuss shit that needs to be talked out. Sex is definitely one of them. U.S. is pretty bad about this too, but miles better than Japan.
In general the glorifying the romantic tv relationship that is shown every night vs. the stark reality of Japanese wall of emotional non-communication, kinda shoots down most relationships at the start.
That and they gotta stop these lame kisses in dramas... seriously 99% of them look like a brother and sister kissing its so awkward between the actors. Needs to be a class or something lol.
matt360
Member
It's about $150 per kid per month until they are three years old, and then $100 from 3 years until around junior high. This is in Hiroshima, but most prefectures are about the same.
CassidyIzABeast
Member
Must be something in the water.
HovaHovito
Banned
Yup, except the issue with moderns is that they have em super early and fuck their chances at a better life
My cousin had two kids and she's 22 now
I actually read article about this issue. More then 75% of all sex toys were bought by men. Kinda crazy.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
I do think it's ironic that the country with the least amount of Abrahamic religion is exhibiting some of the highest signs of celibacy.
Sorry religion, you were beaten at your own game by secular society (it wasn't the mores of Shinto or Buddhism that did this either).
Sorry religion, you were beaten at your own game by secular society (it wasn't the mores of Shinto or Buddhism that did this either).
ComputerMKII
Banned
How is it ironic? God told Adam and Eve to procreate, right from the first few pages of the Bible.
Yep, it ain't shit.
Even better the red tape that can be involved. I and my wife were having trouble because as the "breadwinner" I am supposed to have the money deposited in my account but I don't like doing that shit so wifey was getting the money. At some point they decided they didn't like that and we had to go back and forth to get them to leave things as they were.
Maidenpool?
Member
Japan isn't celibate - would banning porn do anything? Force guys to actually court the opposite sex to fulfill their instincts?
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