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[Diablos]

My friend just sent me an IM. Although I'm laughing at him really hard right now because of his obvious stupidity, I can't laugh too much because I've gone through the same thing. He was like "If a girl gets your number two weeks ago and says she'll call soon, but doesn't for a week, at which point you see her face to face and she says she's been really busy with her friends and other personal things, but then says she will not ditch you and will make plans for the next week, and now three days later she still hasn't called... does this mean she's playing games?"

:lol

Does that say denial or what? I do feel bad, he really likes her. When he asked her out, she said yes right away, started blushing, etc. I think he might have waited too long, though. Like three or four weeks beforehand, she hinted at wanting to go out and he kind of backed off, for reasons I'm not sure. She's probably thinking my friend is playing games, or she's now seeing someone else. Regardless, she can always call him and be honest. She has his effing number. Busy or not, it's not hard to make a two minute phone call and explain yourself.

But it gets me back to thinking: WHY do girls do this? Maybe some of the relationship experts here at GAF can lecture me. It's happened to me before. I don't understand it. I keep telling my friend to be up front with this girl and basically ask why she keeps avoiding him, and if she does not want to go out she can say so instead of backing off or playing games.

 

[GG-Duo]

'cause they don't read Electronic Gaming Monthly.

 

[Socreges]

Sometimes girls don't like to be with guys who want to be with them. After he asked her out, she was initially flattered, but in retrospect understood that he wasn't too good for her and therefore not good enough for her.

 

[lexy]

Why doesn't your friend call her? Your friends problem is that he's letting her set the terms in the relationship. If he really likes her he should walk up to her and say something like I want to take you out this weekend (specifying the day/time/activity). If she still pulls the I'm busy card, legitimate or not, he should just move on.

I think girls sometimes say yes with the intention of never actually dating because they would otherwise feel bad/make you feel bad if they flat out reject you. Some girls even go so far as the first date then dump you shortly after. I've done this to girls that have approached me in the past. It just didn't feel right saying no from the get go because I really didn't know some of the girls that approached me.

I'd rather a girl tell me straight up that she didn't like me than string me along for a while with the "I'm busy" excuse. Nowadays, I also try to do the same when someone approaches me ("I'm already seeing someone," works pretty well for people you don't see everyday).

 

[impirius]

I'm so glad this isn't a Nintendogs thread

 

[Diablos]

Why doesn't your friend call her? Your friends problem is that he's letting her set the terms in the relationship. If he really likes her he should walk up to her and say something like I want to take you out this weekend (specifying the day/time/activity). If she still pulls the I'm busy card, legitimate or not, he should just move on.

Because she didn't give him her number. :\ After he asked, she was like "here, let me get your number and I'll get back to you." It was late when he asked her so I think she wanted to get going... but still, I saw that as the first warning sign. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to worry him.

And you are right, he was a nervous wreck (I'm assuming) because all he said was the typical dorky "so uh, yuo wanna go out sometime?/??/?"

I think girls sometimes say yes with the intention of never actually dating because they would otherwise feel bad/make you feel bad for flat out rejecting you. Some girls even go so far as the first date then dump you shortly after. I've done this to girls that have approached me in the past. It just didn't feel right saying no from the get go because I really didn't know some of the girls that approached me.

That's BS, though. For me personally, I'd rather have the girl just be totally honest, it's much nicer to know how she really feels instead of waiting for days/weeks while she keeps running away from you. That is more offensive (to me) than a girl just saying "sorry, I don't like you anymore/I'm seeing someone/I don't know if I want to" etc.

 

[StoOgE]

Yeah, if she refuses to give her number, thats probably not a good sign.. alot of women are non confrontational like that.. if they ever delay an answer or delay setting up plans for the future its as good as a no..

right now, Im in the middle of trying to figure out if a girl that Ive gone to several concerts with over the last three weeks is or isnt dating me. Previously existing relationships + shy girls = suck.

 

[Lindsay]

Personally I find its more fun to give a guy the big flat NO response! Why? Cause it turns the previously suave super dude into a pouty confused mess! Although it does get kinda boring when they start stalking ya continously asking why you won't give him a chance..... oh well! ^_^;

 

[lexy]

That's BS, though. For me personally, I'd rather have the girl just be totally honest, it's much nicer to know how she really feels instead of waiting for days/weeks while she keeps running away from you. That is more offensive (to me) than a girl just saying "sorry, I don't like you anymore/I'm seeing someone/I don't know if I want to" etc.

I hear ya. Nothing worse than knowing you wasted your time/money on something that was never going anywhere to begin with =\

 

[Diablos]

I hear ya. Nothing worse than knowing you wasted your time/money on something that was never going anywhere to begin with =\

They haven't even gone out on a first DATE yet. This girl has issues. Won't even give him her number.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Because she didn't give him her number. :\ After he asked, she was like "here, let me get your number and I'll get back to you.

:lol :lol :lol fell for the textbook blow off.

 

[Diablos]

:lol :lol :lol fell for the textbook blow off.

If it's the textbook blowoff then it should also be well documented why it's done!

 

[Cubsfan23]

If it's the textbook blowoff then it should also be well documented why it's done!

possible 2 reasons:

1. shes not interested, and/or his approach sucked

2. Wants to see if she can get away with it. You can just say something like "I don't give my number to strange girls" and just walk off. Sometimes they'll chase after you.

Anyway, being stuck on a girl like this is just stupid. What makes her so special compared to all the other girls?

 

[Diablos]

He just told me like a month ago she looked him in the eyes and said "I'd really like to go get some dinner and see a movie..." now this crap. Like I said his approach did suck. But... WTF. She really liked him, I think. Girls are that uptight about apporach that they'll write you off if it sucks that bad?

I dunno why she would want to try and get away with it... this is the part I don't understand about girls. :|

I think he waited too long, but I could be wrong.

 

[Cubsfan23]

He just told me like a month ago she looked him in the eyes and said "I'd really like to go get some dinner and see a movie

:lol :lol ...."and at the end of the night ill give you a hug....thanks for the free food!"

 

[Incognito]

I will not troll Diablos or this topic

I will not troll Diablos or this topic

I will not troll Diablos or this topic

I will not troll Diablos or this topic

I will not troll Diablos or this topic

I will not troll Diablos or this topic

I will not troll Diablos or this topic

I will not troll Diablos or this topic

 

[Papi]

She's just scared. Your friend should approach her and tell her, "Don't be scurred."

 

[demon]

He's not trying hard enough. He needs to call her more often, and show up under her window with a guitar and sing a cheesy lovesong and then profess his love as loud as he can so that all the neighbors can hear and scream at him to shutup and when that doesn't work scream at her to accept his love until she finally does at which point everybody goes back to bed and Diablos's friend and the girl run to eachother and embrace and fuck the night away

 

[Diablos]

:lol :lol ...."and at the end of the night ill give you a hug....thanks for the free food!"

You really think she was trying to play him? It seems like she was really interested. He asked her almost a month after she gave hints.

I don't know if I should tell him to give up or try harder. If he should question her avoidance or actually tell her where he wants to take her.

Lonestar: Go ahead and troll, this problem doesn't concern me. If you have harsh advice, give it. My friend could probably use some.

 

[cloudwalking]

or she could just be a jerk. not all girls pull that shit, i never did.

 

[NLB2]

or she could just be a jerk. not all girls pull that shit, i never did.

-200 cloudwalking's a dude. Any takers?

 

[Cubsfan23]

You really think she was trying to play him? It seems like she was really interested. He asked her almost a month after she gave hints.

I don't know if I should tell him to give up or try harder. If he should question her avoidance or actually tell her where he wants to take her.

Lonestar: Go ahead and troll, this problem doesn't concern me. If you have harsh advice, give it. My friend could probably use some.

The writing is already on the wall, what is so hard about moving on and trying to get with other women? There's millions of them walking around

 

[Diablos]

The writing is already on the wall, what is so hard about moving on and trying to get with other women? There's millions of them walking around

Do you think she was full of it from the start, or he waited too long?

 

[speedpop]

Do you think she was full of it from the start, or he waited too long?

I think she was full of it from the start. What a whore.

 

[Diablos]

Who knows. He saw her a couple days after he asked her, and then a couple more after that. At first she kind of acted like it never happened but said "catch you later", then she wouldn't even talk to him the next day. Finally after that she started talking again and then she said she wouldn't ditch him, blah blah.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Do you think she was full of it from the start, or he waited too long?

It's pointless to think like this. She fucked up by blowing off a potentially cool guy. end of story

 

[Diablos]

It's pointless to think like this. She fucked up by blowing off a potentially cool guy. end of story

I wish it was that easy. Like me, he wants closure when it comes to things he really cares about. I feel bad. But I honestly think he waited too long. A whole month, damn.

oh... wait.

I guess now we can say he somewhat blew her off twice: the first time when he didn't say anything after she dropped the hint, and another time where a couple people were trying to hook them up. She thought he was going to ask her to go out that night; he never did, in fact he completely ignored her - even though one of her friends wanted to go out with them later that night. I guess she (the friend) called him and he didn't pick up his phone. She probably thinks he's playing a game and is being super-defensive. :|

Argh, this is a mess.

 

[White Man]

I can't even listen to Samhain's November-Coming-Fire anymore because as soon as that first track hits, I think of you. <shudder>

 

[Diablos]

I can't even listen to Samhain's November-Coming-Fire anymore because as soon as that first track hits, I think of you. <shudder>

WTF :lol

 

[Boogie]

Anyway, being stuck on a girl like this is just stupid. What makes her so special compared to all the other girls?

Oh how I hate this "meh, girls are a dime a dozen, who cares?" attitude

 

[White Man]

Man, I have the urge to listen to Samhain now. I might have to go pick up the box set for the 3rd time

I hate you, Diabolos. Why do you play stupid games?

 

[StoOgE]

Oh how I hate this "meh, girls are a dime a dozen, who cares?" attitude

yeah, any guy who can really write off a girl he was after that easily is probably some date raping asshole. I really cant imagine someone having a crush on someone for a month and just brushing it off like it was nothing when it doesnt work out..

now, getting shot down at a bar or party by random chick number 4 is something completely different.

 

[kumanoki]

"Girls, play stupid games. Girls--
that's why they're lame. Girls,
play stupid games. Girls--
that's why they're lame."

This thread is so much more interesting when you listen to the dreidel song while you read.


The only mind game I get to play now is this one:

"I'm sorry."
"Well, you always make the same mistake over and over again. I mean, how long are you going to keep making the same mistakes?""
"Seriously, I'm really sorry, baby."
"You don't sound sincere. You just want the argument to be over, don't you?"
"Yes. Wait--no. No! I am being sincere."
"You want me to shut up? You want this to be over? Well, it's not yet. And you say you're being sincere. I don't know if I can believe that."
"I don't know how else to say 'I'm sorry'."
"I mean, just stop doing stupid things. You keep doing it over and over."
"......"
"Don't you have anything to say about that?"
"Uh....I'm sorry?"
"See? You are not being sincere at all. Every single time. It's like I'm your mother. Stop making the same damn mistakes!"
"....."

Rinse, repeat ad nauseum.

 

[Diablos]

Man, I have the urge to listen to Samhain now. I might have to go pick up the box set for the 3rd time

I hate you, Diabolos. Why do you play stupid games?

I AM playing stupid games! Well, not really, but the camera in Sonic Heroes is pissing me off. I'm on the second stage, using tails to fly over rising fire, then I gotta switch to sonic. This is where the crappy camera comes into play.

Anyway, yeah, that's what I'm saying. The fact that he has waited a month to make something happen is what saddens me here. But then again, he blew her off twice: once directly, once indirectly... not really smart. Girls catch onto those things and they're sensitive to begin with.

 

[Date of Lies]

possible 2 reasons:

1. shes not interested, and/or his approach sucked

2. Wants to see if she can get away with it. You can just say something like "I don't give my number to strange girls" and just walk off. Sometimes they'll chase after you.

Anyway, being stuck on a girl like this is just stupid. What makes her so special compared to all the other girls?

that's good stuff, worth noting down.

 

[demon]

Oh how I hate this "meh, girls are a dime a dozen, who cares?" attitude

I agree. I'm sure there are tons of girls out there who are attractive and have great personality traits etc, but honestly, what fraction of the entire female population do you think is suitable and compatiable for any given guy? Yes there are guys out there who cling to any girl who shows them attention, but (and I'm not necessarily talking about the situation in this thread) when a guy gets to know a girl he really clicks with and finds attractive and suddenly that girl cuts it off for whatever reason, who the fuck in their right mind can tell that guy to just brush it off and get over it by fucking some random girl? My eyes nearly roll out of my head when I see someone post the obligatory "there are 3 billion women out there!" comment in these kinds of threads. FUCK OFF! How many of those 3 billion women are in my age range, in my vicinity, are attractive, whose personality will click with mine, and have a chance of actually crossing paths with me? Two, maybe?

Eh, rant over.

 

[Deleted member 4784]

When I first saw the title for this topic, I thought it was asking "why do girls play stupid games" like Animal Crossing and Ragnarok Online. :lol

Anyways, both girls AND guys play this "game", so I really don't see the point of this topic...?

 

[Date of Lies]

Anyways, both girls AND guys play this "game", so I really don't see the point of this topic...?

exactly, maybe she was just a freak, some guys act like freaks too, go find out why there's weird people out there, but whatever the reasons, it's high time to move on.


And incidentally, if he liked her "so much that he can't get over her" then why did he put her down in the first place? Sounds like he was playing a dumb game, either that or he was too shy, in which case he should be asking himself other more important questions.

 

[Iceman]

I missed all kinds of hints from the last girl that was interested in me. (1) She invited me to her birthday party a year ago, I was the only one from our gang that showed up (all the rest of our gang had already taken part in prior birthdays and didn't care for the experience).. I barely knew her but she took great pains to make sure I didn't get bored with her group of friends and insisted that I continue bar hopping with her.. I left. (She later told me that this was the occassion that she originally wanted to ask me out) (2) She requested that I drive her to a mutual friends party. I tried to mingle on my own and got bored out of my mind and then went back over to where she was hanging out and she tried to involve me in every inane conversation. (She was apparently asked out by another mutual friend that night and turned them down because she was interested in "someone else") (3) She again requested that I drive her to another party (going away/karaoke thing).. she was dressed quite HOT and insisted we go to her favorite parking spot to watch the sunset before hand. um HELLO!!!! (4) One late night she called over to my place (I had a roommate at the time) and asked if we wanted to join her and her girlfriends at a dance club just a couple of blocks away from where I live.. my roommate was pretty familiar with her and suggested that she was not only acting pretty weird but that it was an indication that she was interested in one of us.

That's when the first suspicions really started surfacing in my mind.

Now I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person. But clearly, I am one thick meat head when it comes to women.

But guess what? After all that time (about a year) and all those signals.. and probably dozens more that I may or may not have noticed... she finally got fed up, called me on my cell phone and asked me out. In her case all the daft indifference on my part eventually paid off. This is the kind of girl that guys fawn all over, she gets asked out all the time.. she has little more to do than do her pouty face or do the chin over the shoulder pose and BAM, 17 offers. But this is clearly the hardest she's ever had to work to attract a man's attention and I think it kind of feeds her drive, she likes the challenge.

All along the way I gave her just enough acquiescence to give her hope I think and keep the whole game going. She admitted in the end she was angling so that I would ask her out but some other influences finally forced her hand.

So long story short: Show just enough attention/interest to keep her going until it gets to the point where it is obvious to everyone in the world. Then eventually she will break down or someone else will sit you down and explain the situation in very clear terms.. there may be slapping involved.

 

[cloudwalking]

-200 cloudwalking's a dude. Any takers?

shhhhhh it's supposed to be a secret!

exactly, maybe she was just a freak, some guys act like freaks too, go find out why there's weird people out there, but whatever the reasons, it's high time to move on.

And incidentally, if he liked her "so much that he can't get over her" then why did he put her down in the first place? Sounds like he was playing a dumb game, either that or he was too shy, in which case he should be asking himself other more important questions.

yeah, i pretty much agree with that. it sounds like it just fell through, though, because he waited too long. but to leave him hanging like that isn't nice of the girl either.

 

[Teknopathetic]

"Oh how I hate this "meh, girls are a dime a dozen, who cares?" attitude "

I fucking *hate* the idea of defending cubsfan, but:

It's not "meh, girls are a dime a dozen" so much as it is, why waste your time on something that obviously isn't going to work. It's borderline sad.

 

[boutrosinit]

She's not playing games dude. She's being a woman, and women typically aren't very direct. They usually do something and expect you to read between the lines.

Bottom Line:
She wanted to go out with your friend.

Your friend did not call for ages. For a lot of girls, that's like you ain't really interested and she feel's second fiddle to someone else. No girl likes to be second fiddle, so she found someone else who makes her feel a bit more special.

I know this, because I've made the same mistake several times in the past with comically shameful consequences.

 

[boutrosinit]

When I first saw the title for this topic, I thought it was asking "why do girls play stupid games" like Animal Crossing and Ragnarok Online. :lol

Anyways, both girls AND guys play this "game", so I really don't see the point of this topic...?

In your avatar, is that a woman shooting a man out of her vagina?

 

[Diablos]

She's not playing games dude. She's being a woman, and women typically aren't very direct. They usually do something and expect you to read between the lines.

Bottom Line:
She wanted to go out with your friend.

Your friend did not call for ages. For a lot of girls, that's like you ain't really interested and she feel's second fiddle to someone else. No girl likes to be second fiddle, so she found someone else who makes her feel a bit more special.

I know this, because I've made the same mistake several times in the past with comically shameful consequences.

Yep, I think that's it. Because she would always want to talk to him, say hi, be flirty, act interested, etc. and he always shyed away from that. Now HE's trying to do that, and she's not. He missed his chance, I think. Most people aren't going to wait around forever.

 

[geogaddi]

I missed all kinds of hints from the last girl that was interested in me. (1) She invited me to her birthday party a year ago, I was the only one from our gang that showed up (all the rest of our gang had already taken part in prior birthdays and didn't care for the experience).. I barely knew her but she took great pains to make sure I didn't get bored with her group of friends and insisted that I continue bar hopping with her.. I left. (She later told me that this was the occassion that she originally wanted to ask me out) (2) She requested that I drive her to a mutual friends party. I tried to mingle on my own and got bored out of my mind and then went back over to where she was hanging out and she tried to involve me in every inane conversation. (She was apparently asked out by another mutual friend that night and turned them down because she was interested in "someone else") (3) She again requested that I drive her to another party (going away/karaoke thing).. she was dressed quite HOT and insisted we go to her favorite parking spot to watch the sunset before hand. um HELLO!!!! (4) One late night she called over to my place (I had a roommate at the time) and asked if we wanted to join her and her girlfriends at a dance club just a couple of blocks away from where I live.. my roommate was pretty familiar with her and suggested that she was not only acting pretty weird but that it was an indication that she was interested in one of us.

That's when the first suspicions really started surfacing in my mind.

Now I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person. But clearly, I am one thick meat head when it comes to women.

But guess what? After all that time (about a year) and all those signals.. and probably dozens more that I may or may not have noticed... she finally got fed up, called me on my cell phone and asked me out. In her case all the daft indifference on my part eventually paid off. This is the kind of girl that guys fawn all over, she gets asked out all the time.. she has little more to do than do her pouty face or do the chin over the shoulder pose and BAM, 17 offers. But this is clearly the hardest she's ever had to work to attract a man's attention and I think it kind of feeds her drive, she likes the challenge.

All along the way I gave her just enough acquiescence to give her hope I think and keep the whole game going. She admitted in the end she was angling so that I would ask her out but some other influences finally forced her hand.

So long story short: Show just enough attention/interest to keep her going until it gets to the point where it is obvious to everyone in the world. Then eventually she will break down or someone else will sit you down and explain the situation in very clear terms.. there may be slapping involved.

You're in a gang? The US Government is after you.

 

[ChumsGum]

She's a woman; that's all the explanation you need. Get over it and move on.

 

[FortNinety]

Thank God my girlfriend never did stupid shit like that. It's hard, but there are girls who aren't into such fucking nonsense.

 

[speedpop]

Yeah neither with mine FortNinety. All it took was a 9 hour long phone call and the next day we were all lovesy dovesy.

 

[ChumsGum]

Girlfriend being the key word. Girls will often play these "games" to see how a guy is going to handle himself, to see if he's boyfriend material for her. Once a girl starts seeing the guy, the games usually end.

 

[Iceman]

You're in a gang? The US Government is after you.

The crew I run with is hard, dawg. Madison ain't the Compton of the midwest for nothin'.