Why do people have to shout when they're arguing?
- Thread starter SephiZack
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I do get angry, it's just that as a young adult I naively thought that people can manage their anger when they grow up
Sometimes it does come out of nowhere and people yell before even starting any argument
It's the fucking worst and extremely childish to me. If someone starts yelling in what was a calm argument/discussion I'll just immediately leave. I grew up with a sister who would immediately yell if she knew she was losing the argument and it drove me insane. Really can't stand arguing with people who can't control their emotions
Massive Duck. C.M.
Banned
Judging my some of the "arguments" you see around here, I can see why some people experience raised voices frequently
It's an emotional response.
People have emotions, or something they're angry/passionate/frustrated about. It's a completely normal thing.
Gravy Boat
Member
But you wouldn't apply this logic to any other emotion. Are people who cry when they're sad not grown up? Or people who laugh when they're amused? What about people who scream when they're scared? Or people who shout with joy when something great happens?
It's weird that so many people are taking this specific emotional response and linking it with immaturity. People who shout constantly in an argument are annoying to deal with, but you're all making it sound like as soon as you raise your voice out of anger you've lost control and need to mature emotionally.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Okay, "some people" will defualt to yelling. You can appliy sometimes to virtually any human interaction. Most people will not default to yelling in an argument.
I can't remember the last arguement I had where I straight up started yelling. But god forbid people have emotions.
Flame Lord
Member
Mental Atrophy
Banned
Yelling has nothing to do with whether the person is right or wrong. They're frustrated and that makes them angry, and when somebody is angry their amygdala kicks into gear and tells their body to unleash a flood of adrenaline, which can make them yell. When somebody is in this state they become less rational, so it might feel like you were right all along when they start shouting nonsense, but they only got this way because they were frustrated that you didn't agree with them--not necessarily because they were right or wrong.
I think this is a good comment, but don't people often associate crying with immaturity? I don't personally think that, but I've heard more people associating that emotion with immaturity rather than anger.
Thinking about your comment, I do think that people control many of those emotions more as they grow up. I probably haven't thought about them because they're generally more pleasant to witness
Another thing that annoys me during arguments is when someone speaks over another person without letting them finish their phrase. And when sometimes it looks like someone is arguing for the sake of argument.
MaulerX
Member
At our core we're just animals. Shouting over each other is part of the psychological perception we have that in doing so, our opponent might submit.
Also people sometimes shout when they feel their words are not bring heard (because the other person is busy talking back) and thus raising their voice seems like the other alternative at the time.
Also people sometimes shout when they feel their words are not bring heard (because the other person is busy talking back) and thus raising their voice seems like the other alternative at the time.
n00bsauce87
Member
Getting louder = Being more right
teruterubozu
Member
You searched online about people getting mad? Are human emotions new to you, OP?
ChaosZeroX
Banned
Whoever is shouting is usually the defensive one. Truth hurts
Although, the person shouting can also just be super pissed
Although, the person shouting can also just be super pissed
John Kowalski
Banned
civility is the woe of superiority
Gotdatmoney
Member
Yeah I don't buy the first one at all. Has nothing to dp with the truth. People can say genuinely shittt things that set you off.
Shouting isn't about right or wrong. It's a reaction.
I tend to do that often for everything I'm interested in, regardless of how obvious it might be because I often find lots of other interesting stuff that is related.
It might be strange, but I often surf Wikipedia reading pages about something completely normal (random example "air") and then when I'm reading that page I start opening on other tabs all the blue links I find interesting and I end up with countless tabs open and reading pages that are not related to the first.
Always-honest
Banned
Because that's what their parents did.
yongeandcollege
Member
It's emotions flaring up and some people find yelling therapeutic. Who are you to judge how someone expresses themselves?
yongeandcollege
Member
There are enough counter examples to this theory that I don't buy it.
I imagine most people, when they realize they're "losing" the argument, raise their voice in an attempt to intimidate the other person / gain control of the situation / establish a sort of dominance as a way to "win" the argument. It's pretty silly, to be honest, but it's human nature and it'll happen to any of us.
Always-honest
Banned
Well yes, if you decide not to take the same path. I think in most cases it's very true.
I'm a counter example myself. Well, to a certain point. When i get angry enough i pretty much can't talk anymore.
Goro Majima
Kitty Genovese Member
I lose a whole lot of respect for anyone that is unable to argue without shouting. Go cool off and come back when you're level headed.
Yeah, this.
Let's say you get pissed off because someone says something really racist and doubles down on it. Are they in the right just because they angered you?
Pantaghana
Member
"If I intimidate you into shutting up by being loud, I win the argument by default!"
My assumption.
My assumption.
styl3s
Member
If you are sitting here and telling me not once in your entire life on this planet that you never got so frustrated you yelled i am calling complete bullshit and i am calling you a yellow bellied liar.
People get frustrated it doesn't make them somehow lesser people there is a different in raising your voice out of frustration and just going psycho from rage on people.
The Albatross
Member
It's embedded in our evolutionary biology.
I'm not someone who shouts when I'm mad or arguing, but that doesn't mean my reactions are better or more reasoned when something makes me mad. When someone says something that makes me mad, like if my wife and I are arguing and I feel like she makes a low blow, I basically just shut down and stop talking to her. For her that's like the ultimate in anger inducing scenarios and she loses it. Her family is the opposite, if they're arguing and someone makes a low blow, then the other one makes a low blow,a nd then 10 minutes later they're crying and hugging and making up. My reactions, if someone says something that's really unfair to me, I end the conversation there and don't bother talking to them anymore.
I'm not someone who shouts when I'm mad or arguing, but that doesn't mean my reactions are better or more reasoned when something makes me mad. When someone says something that makes me mad, like if my wife and I are arguing and I feel like she makes a low blow, I basically just shut down and stop talking to her. For her that's like the ultimate in anger inducing scenarios and she loses it. Her family is the opposite, if they're arguing and someone makes a low blow, then the other one makes a low blow,a nd then 10 minutes later they're crying and hugging and making up. My reactions, if someone says something that's really unfair to me, I end the conversation there and don't bother talking to them anymore.
Goro Majima
Kitty Genovese Member
It's been a long, long time. Like I was a teenager some 15 years ago the last time I lashed out like that.
My entire dad's side of my family loves to get drunk and get into shouting matches about shit that happened 25+ years ago. My dad was also extremely verbally abusive to both myself and my mother. So the concept has been soured on me altogether.
Like 99% of the things people yell about, it isn't worth it and just makes everyone else 100x more uncomfortable. Occasionally, there's probably something worth yelling about if it's especially contentious but I just haven't come across it luckily!
edit: lots of one sided yelling matches with the TV when the Packers fuck up though!
Because they don't have a leg to stand on anymore and feel like shouting and acting all crazy will give them some ground in the argument. Used to happen a lot with my sister, she'd always start yelling while I kept talking normally, it was infuriating but I had to keep my cool. She hasn't been like that since one day when she knocked over a glass and wanted to, incredibly, pin it on me, that was simply a sight to see and she realized she had a problem.
Edit: Also, there's being angry and yelling while keeping control of yourself and there's being angry and yelling while completely acting all crazy and not making any sense. I think OP is referring mostly to those people who escalate things quickly in an argument that was, otherwise, a level-headed one.
Edit: Also, there's being angry and yelling while keeping control of yourself and there's being angry and yelling while completely acting all crazy and not making any sense. I think OP is referring mostly to those people who escalate things quickly in an argument that was, otherwise, a level-headed one.
Gravy Boat
Member
I know you're saying this mostly in jest, but this is actually very common. People yell all the time, which is why it's weird that so many people in this thread are calling it a sign of immaturity.
If you are arguing with someone a lot bigger than you, and their voice gets louder and louder it's usually intimidating so you stop.
That said, the best way to win an heated argument is to not engage. Most people *want* to argue, they *want* to prove they were right. If you just shrug and "ok" in a manner that suggests you still think they are wrong it drives a lot of people totally nuts. (It's also a great way to sleep alone on the couch)
That said, the best way to win an heated argument is to not engage. Most people *want* to argue, they *want* to prove they were right. If you just shrug and "ok" in a manner that suggests you still think they are wrong it drives a lot of people totally nuts. (It's also a great way to sleep alone on the couch)
walking fiend
Member
All these evidence based reasons are just overwhelming. Why do people resort to bullshit when they don't know something and state their speculations as fact?
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
Because it's too hard to sing if I'm angry.
Frustration, be it justified or not.
This sounds like an argument that would make people yell in a fight because it likes any logic.
This sounds like an argument that would make people yell in a fight because it likes any logic.
radios shipping overview
Member
I'M NOT ANGRY! YOU'RE ANGRY!
I can have strong emotions with out losing control of them. Just because I'm angry or agitated doesn't mean I can't step back and take a second to put things into perspective or collect myself. You lose focus of your point if you don't reason your emotions and no one will take you seriously. I'm in no way perfect and can still lose my temper (I used to get so mad I'd punch holes in walls when I was a teen) but being reasonable means people will actually consider what you are saying.
Cipher Peon
Banned
As someone who gets very very loud in these kinds of discussions, the answer is simple: I get emotionally invested and heated. Not angry or "losing" or anything, just VERY intense bickering.
Besides, that's how I prefer my arguments and debates or whatever. A group of open minded people of varying backgrounds and beliefs bickering loudly at each other and interrupting each other and stampeding their more intense beliefs. Love it!
Besides, that's how I prefer my arguments and debates or whatever. A group of open minded people of varying backgrounds and beliefs bickering loudly at each other and interrupting each other and stampeding their more intense beliefs. Love it!
OniBarubary
Banned
These two quotes are the correct responses to this question. Everything else is often projecting or variations upon that shitty stick figure picture where someone "wins" the argument by being calm and rational while the other person shouts and gets angrier regardless of who is right.
It's like when someone doesn't speak English so people automatically speak louder or slower even if that doesn't actually help matters. They're not angry, the mind correlates someone "not getting" something and uses all the means that you know how to make a person understand what you're saying; in cases of arguments they are "not getting" your point because they are obviously still arguing the opposite side so you get louder or more frustrated due to them being unable to understand.
A dude who gets angry in a conversation is as likely to do it because the other side is being obtuse, unreceptive or a fucking idiot than him being the idiot and the other side being the rational, calm and receptive one.
People get angry. It happens. Should we be lashing out left and right all the time and leave it uncontrolled? Of course not. Just like any other emotion. But does that mean someone's an immature baby if he loses himself in a conversation every now and again? Nah man.
Pretty much this. We're all guilty of this when is comes to things that are important to us or if we're in bad moods. Generally speaking I'm conscious of my volume and tone when I debate. Debate should be fun or insightful. If it isn't then why debate?
OniBarubary
Banned
Ha ha ha ha. No, that normally has the opposite effect.
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