Woman Who Made £37,000 A Week Selling Farts Hospitalized For Trying To Fart Too Much

AJUMP23 said:
37,000 a week? we live in the worst timeline.
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It really is. I've sometimes thought the term "simp" is overused/misused, but if it wasn't for their existence, her profitability doing THAT kind of thing would not be remotely possible.

So yeah, simps are at fault for this. She's just playing the game. "Don't hate the player, hate the game" as the saying goes.
 
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I just admire her commitment, work ethic and moral fortitude. It's not like she couldn't have totally faked her farts and no-one would have been any the wiser, nor would anyone but the weirdos who bought this have cared if they found out. So the way she committed to providing these weirdos her genuine farts is nothing short of amazing.
 
Are these jars sealed for freshness? If they are a limited release, I imagine the sealed jar would go up in value and it could be a solid investment. I'm definitely disappointed with my current investments and am looking to expand my portfolio.
 
poppabk said:
I just admire her commitment, work ethic and moral fortitude. It's not like she couldn't have totally faked her farts and no-one would have been any the wiser, nor would anyone but the weirdos who bought this have cared if they found out. So the way she committed to providing these weirdos her genuine farts is nothing short of amazing.
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Good point. I'm guessing she never thought to do that, lol.
 
haxan7 said:
Some real perverts would know and tell others, ruining her sales. If you wanna sell your farts online you gotta go all in on it. Business 101.
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Lmao. I was just thinking, what if someone was able to tell if they were fake? Like, "I've purchased 200 jars and this one smells nothing like those!" Then continues to explain the difference in detail. I hate people.
 
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Will a fart even retain its scent if sealed in a jar? How much of the fart will escape into the atmosphere before it's even sealed?
 
Jsisto said:
Will a fart even retain its scent if sealed in a jar? How much of the fart will escape into the atmosphere before it's even sealed?
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Ever almost vomited because you farted a really nasty one closed up inside a small car? Now imagine that whole thing is quickly sealed up inside a space 500x smaller.
 
A business that literally sells hot air.

Gotta respect that personalised quality control.

"I think that certain foods produce better smelling farts, so I usually tend to go with the smoothies as opposed to things such as cabbage and eggs."
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[redacted] is cute, Japanese and has a great ass, her farts sound like trumpet blasts and don't stink... Farts all the time ... She could totally make bank doing it in lingerie online rofl
 
This reminds me of a Dexter's Lab episode, where Dexter felt so bad he thought he was dying, but it turns out he just had the biggest fart stuck in his belly. At the end he rips out one so big that he shakes the earth.
 
poppabk said:
I just admire her commitment, work ethic and moral fortitude. It's not like she couldn't have totally faked her farts and no-one would have been any the wiser, nor would anyone but the weirdos who bought this have cared if they found out. So the way she committed to providing these weirdos her genuine farts is nothing short of amazing.
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Annu Kapoor Bollywood GIF


and

Work Soldier GIF by U.S. Army
 
poppabk said:
I just admire her commitment, work ethic and moral fortitude. It's not like she couldn't have totally faked her farts and no-one would have been any the wiser, nor would anyone but the weirdos who bought this have cared if they found out. So the way she committed to providing these weirdos her genuine farts is nothing short of amazing.
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That's why you have to buy two jars, one to open and one to keep....

Or so I've been told.
 
Normally, I would be absolutely horrified at the prospect of girls farting to find out people pay money to smell farts.

But not this time chaps. Oh no, not this time. Instead, I need to figure out how to keep the farts from escaping a mason jar. Need to build up a big stockpile and become the neighborhood secret Santa next year.
 
Just imagine, Antiques Roadshow decades from now…

Appraiser: "What we appear to have is an important influencer's fart; still contained inside this jar.
From what we can tell, only 20 of these were bottled in this exact manner during their "Disney phase."

*Directs pointer*

The clasp of the jar, upon closer inspection, appears to still be hermetically sealed.
This means it's worth significantly more than the original price of $1400.00.

This is the Tiffany's of flatulence.
An absolutely breath-taking piece and I'm delighted you've brought it in today."
 
Ozarkx said:
Just imagine, Antiques Roadshow decades from now…

Appraiser: "What we appear to have is an important influencer's fart; still contained inside this jar.
From what we can tell, only 20 of these were bottled in this exact manner during their "Disney phase."

*Directs pointer*

The clasp of the jar, upon closer inspection, appears to still be hermetically sealed.
This means it's worth significantly more than the original price of $1400.00.

This is the Tiffany's of flatulence.
An absolutely breath-taking piece and I'm delighted you've brought it in today."
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Next up we have a USB stick with a very interesting NFT on it.
 
And if you believe that you would probably
buy a fart from someone….
 
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What a dumbass. She could surely take a dump and bottle dozens of fart scents per load

She could even start mass producing farts and shits ona factory line, nobody would know if they are really her farts

Women have no business sense
 
Anyone on GAF want to buy my farts ? I'm a man with a beard. Anyone ?

I could sell pictures of my feet. Anyone like hair on the feet ?
Slightly badly cut toenails ?
Anyone with that weird fetish

EviLore EviLore you want in on this opportunity?

Animated GIF
 
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