wtf man wtf WTF you are getting thread post privileges back after Jesus' return

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Ember128 said:
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Too easy.
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Even easier.
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
You know what? I can't do anything but try. Are you going to blame me for that too? I need to find a way to make it up the mods, somehow. Shops' obviously don't work. I will try my way lyrically.


The Terrorists entered the room.
"mumble mumble mmmmmmummmble" He said before headbutting Elias in the back of the head with his loaded AK-47.

Elias started bleeding, but the Terrorists only stood there and laughed.
Elias felt like a 12 year old girl menustrating for the first time.. out of his head. One of the Terrorists went down on his knees, and grabbed a "National Geographic" magazine that was on the floor.
Elias look startled at the Terrorist, resting his body on the loaded magnificant gun.
The Terrorist mumbled to himself, as he browsed through the cover. Then he stopped.

He took down the sheet covering his face, and licked his mouth in a volitile way.
He then showed the magazine page, where he had stopped to Elias.
Elias eyes sprang forth like the eyes of a Deer, before headbutting a pair of headlights on a cold winter night.
It was a picture of a whole family of animals. Naked animals, with no clothes on.
The Terrorist signaled Elias to start rubbing one out. Elias refused. The Terrorists got angry and started shooting in the ceiling.


Some debris landed on Elias head...
He squeeled, as he also started bleeding from the back of his head.
The Terrorists, stopped shooting and started laughing.
Elias peed his pants. One of the Terrorists became upset, and went out to go clean it up.

The Terrorist from before pointed his gun at Elias, mumbling him to look at the magazine and start rubbing one out.
Elias did as he was told. But then SUDDENLY.
The Door sprang out. It was not a grenade blast.
A Zoo Keeper walks in, holding a chained baboon in his hands. The Baboon is almost naked, only covered by a tiny thong, that has become completely lost between the Baboons big red bottocks.
The Zoo keeper raises his hands, followed by the Baboon raising his. The Terrorists went to the floor, crying.
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OP has to be a joke character.
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
The two baboons started touching each other, intimately. which was the real baboon, and which was the zoo keeper in disguise? They twirled around each other, like a pair of epileptics with a lot of body hair, having seizure on each other.
One the baboons grabbed a banana that was stuck in his behind... it was sort of brown. he played around with it, fumbled it along his chin, and around his lips. So sensually. Flies started circling around the banana, and the Baboons face.

The Terrorists where just laying there. taking it all in. It was their law. Their animal Jihad.

Elias pissed his pants some more, and started sobbing. The double bleeding from his head had made his face turn grey like a man raised in a ashtray.

The Baboon stopped toying with the banana, while the other caressed him. "You must have sex with an animal of your choice!" the Baboon witfully said. He had that look in his eyes. That look that says "I want you inside my abdominals.

Elias sat there terrified, and started puking in his own pee and blood. "Why?" he asked. His nipples had gotten hard.
"Do not ask why! CHOOSE! It's the law!"
I choose..." Elias said nervously.
One of the terrorist made a eek sound of sheer excitement. Another was grinding his teeth against the ammo casing of his AK47.
"I choose Dolphin".

The Baboons, became startled and started screaming, and the terrorists took their AKs and started firring in the ceiling. Debris was falling. They where singing and happy. The ritual was complete.


TO BE CONTINUED...
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Trent Strong said:
OP has to be a joke character.
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For humanities sake, I hope so.
@OP. What do you hope to achieve when you keep posting? Just let the thread die, and hope it only gets referenced once or twice a year.
 
Yenrot said:
It's such a great scenario: Terrorists capture your family. You don't speak Arabic so you assume that they want you to have sex with animals.
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Yep. :lol

Second page he made a post claiming everything is a joke. Now? Not sure sure. OP clearly has issues and needs some serious fucking help.
 
Dolphin Fucking...People marrying and fantasizing fucking Amusement park rides...Military Dolphins...Baboons...Dolphin/Human love movie poster...Twisted stories...



...okay, i'm out.


I need an ice pack.
 
Ignis Fatuus said:
Exactly what is happening.

He is performing for our entertainment.
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No. I want to do anything I can do to get my account back.
Now, Photoshops, posting Dolpin-Related Stories and Short stories have not worked, so I have to rework my strategy on how to start a dialouge with the mods.


They don't call me VIGILANT Walrus for nothing, you know.
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
No. I want to do anything I can do to get my account back.
Now, Photoshops, posting Dolpin-Related Stories and Short stories have not worked, so I have to rework my strategy on how to start a dialouge with the mods.


They don't call me VIGILANT Walrus for nothing, you know.
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Maybe private messaging them with pictures of dolphin sex will help them understand.
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
No. I want to do anything I can do to get my account back.
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All of this -->whole thread<-- is why it was taken away. You don't get away with murder by killing more.

Unless you are killing all the witnesses! Gaf run!
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
No. I want to do anything I can do to get my account back.
Now, Photoshops, posting Dolpin-Related Stories and Short stories have not worked, so I have to rework my strategy on how to start a dialouge with the mods.
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You're doing it wrong. Way, wrong.
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
This thread is like a STD that won't go away. Only I haven't had sex.

And every spiteful post is a doctor who is needling me in my Johnson. :(
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Dude. Please. STOP. POSTING.
 
Don't mind me I'm just getting in one more post in case this thread goes into the archives.

i want to one day show my children I posted in this topic

and then cry as we share an embracing hug.


and then break them the news that they are half rabbit
 
Amazing. We are one in our appreciation of man-dolphin love, and yet he couldn't be more different than me even if he actually was a dolphin.
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
And every spiteful post is a doctor who is needling me in my Johnson. :(
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I had a needle in my Johnson last week. Needless to say, it fucking hurt and my penis shrivels just thinking about it.
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
This thread is like a STD that won't go away. Only I haven't had sex.

And every spiteful post is a doctor who is needling me in my Johnson. :(
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And the doctors are Terrorists who have held your family hostage :lol
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
No. I want to do anything I can do to get my account back.
Now, Photoshops, posting Dolpin-Related Stories and Short stories have not worked, so I have to rework my strategy on how to start a dialouge with the mods.


They don't call me VIGILANT Walrus for nothing, you know.
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If you are trying to get back your ability to make threads you are just making it worse.
Think about why you got it taken away in the first place, doing the same thing over and over again isn't going to get it back.
 
You know how when there are pictures that say "NSFW" ?

Well this thread deserves a not safe for anyone tag... my faith in GAF took a pretty sharp stab today. Thanks OP, you have tainted my most visited website after facebook...
 
GUYS, YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS!

Don't you see mates! The terrorists are turning us against each other. This is the internet. In the end it does not matter if one has a fetish or sexual fantasy. The internet is just one big place. The Terrorists want us to do this, but did you guys even sit down to think about for two seconrds, why it is their law?
It's their law because it fuels their terrorist needs and spreads hate, lies and decite!

aa_eisenhower_subj_e.jpg


Eisenhower warned against this. He called it Industrial Military Complex. It refers to the Capitalistic collapse of the free world.
Take a look at this picture of Eisenhower. Look closer. What do you see? The tip of his nose? Closer! Focus! Look at it.

33p39eq.jpg


Eisenhower was a two-faced Bottlenose Dolphin. If anything, man remembers Eisenhower by loving the animals he helped represent during his reign on earth.



pakkit said:
I had a needle in my Johnson last week. Needless to say, it fucking hurt and my penis shrivels just thinking about it.
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Why? Couldn't he just have given you pills?



Bru said:
I hope this guy's joking with us, I really do.
If not...........

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Have I ever told you mate, that I actually saw this before it got stolen on a Museum. It's pretty damn significant. If you wanna hear about someone who had a horrible life, just that a look at the painter. His life story is like cripple falling out of an aeroplane. Not good.



Skiesofwonder said:
Dude. Please. STOP. POSTING.
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Haters gonna hate. All day long. Telling other people to stop posting? What a shitty move is that? I have never in my life, said that to anyone. Not even real assholes! Are you one of those types of people who make a big poo on the top of your TV every time something shitty comes on, instead of just changing the channel?(yeah pun, goddam intended>:( )




Legendbyname said:
Don't listen to them. This thread just keeps giving. Please continue the story.
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PART 2 CONTINUED -

One of the Baboons had been touching itself, for flies but also for arousal, but then stopped, and confidently walked over to Elias, Sprouting confidence like the proudest primate he could be.
*POOF* and the Baboon had turned into a Bottlenosed Dolphin in a G-string around it's face. Elias could smell it had been used, as the odor reminded him of a mix between old Oysters bathed in Cat Urine, in a Oven at 250 degrees for two weeks. He knew because his grandparents had once taken him to a football game in Ohio, where the locals practiced this abnormality. fucking Ohio, Elias thought to himself.

One of the terrorists started screaming with his muzzled voice covered by the sheet in front of his mouth. Elias knew what he had to do. "Just don't think about it... It's just a hole. It's just a tight piece of gray membrane like on that of a Woman. Air goes through it. It's a channel.. it's just a channel. You can do this" Elias thought to himself.

He approached the Morphed Dolphin laying on the side on the floor, seizuring and losing air, as it shreeked "EEK EEEK EEEEEK". Elias tried making it easier on himself by stripping. He stumpled over his peebloodpuke mixture and landed on his knees, to the Terrorists annoyance.
One of the Terrorists took out a Sony Walkman from 1988 from underneath his robe and started playing, "Sexual Healing". Now it worked better form Elias, trying to strip and seduce the gasping Dolphin. "Thank god for Marvin Gaye and Black people" Elias thought again.

As Elias came closer, he dropped every piece of clothes he had. He was now only wearing socks and his watch, and the time currently said showtime. One of the Terrorists licked his mouth. Elias couldn't hear it because of the music, but the slurp sound was so great that the other Terrorists heard it and also started slurping. It was about to get exciting.
 
Ignis Fatuus said:
I can't believe there are some people who still think he's being serious.
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missed most of the thread and only saw the last page. This is just some really lame and absurd kind of troll, from somebody really young.
 
Foooook, I can't get over the Op's first post let alone the continued posts by the Op.

So what is the consensus regarding the walrus?
 
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