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[human5892]

I passed entire useless computer class periods in high school by reading Yahoo user movie reviews. Keeping in the tradition of other user reviews at sites like Amazon.com, some are shining examples of idiocy (or just written by really young kids), and are usually grammatical wastelands to boot, while others are geniunely funny because the person felt so strongly about the movie. Here are some good ones to start you off with:

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement

best movie ever!!!
by jonathanbahk (movies profile) Aug 11, 2004
33 of 54 people found this review helpful

You have to see this movie!!!I'm a kid saying dON'T WASTE YOUR TIME DOING OTHER STUFF but the new tower of terror you can ride it!!!!!But this movie is the best!!!It has Raven,Anne Hathaway and Julie Andrews!This is the perfect teen comedy and I said that when I'm Only a kid...literally!!!!!!!Don't see any other movies unless you see this movie first!!!!!

A GOOD FAMILY MOVIE
by csprincess2000 (movies profile) Aug 12, 2004
6 of 6 people found this review helpful

I RECOMEND THIS MOVIE FOR A MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DAY OUT. I LOVED IT BUT I THINK THEY COULD HAVE DONE A LITTLE MORE OF MATURITY ON MIA'S CHARACTER. SHE PLAYS A 21 YEAR OLD BUT IN THE MOVIE IT SHOWS LIKE IF SHE WAS 15 AND STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL. THE CUSTOMES WERE BEAUTIFUL, THE EXTRAS WERE GREAT AND THE BEST PART WAS THAT THE OLD CHARACTERS CAME BACK WHICH MADE THIS MOVIE A REAL SEQUEL. MY OVER ALL OPINION IS THAT IF YOU LIKE THE FIRST ONE YOU WILL LIKE THE SECOND ONE BUT YOU WILL BE LEFT WITH A HELLO KIND OF EXPRESSION. THE ENDING BECOMES THE BEGINNING OF A THIRD PRINCESS DIARY!!! ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT YOU MUST GO AND SEE IT AND YOU BE THE JUDGE !!!

READ THIS
by rlquiroz50 (movies profile) Aug 12, 2004
6 of 21 people found this review helpful

i looooooooooooooooved this movie but i gave it f's cuz no one reads the a's. anyway julie andrews still looks hot! and that immature hathaway has potential but she neeeeeeds a new hairdo cuz she still looks to young for me!! damn

The Manchurian Candidate

Micheal Moore would love this propoganda
by southernbo2001 (movies profile) Jul 30, 2004
28 of 52 people found this review helpful

It seemed like I was watching the 5th day of the DNC convention, doo you suppose it was coincidental that this and "The Village" (another movie whose message Micheal Moore would love-in that opus it took them 2 hours to say what FDR said in one sentence, "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself") in this update, the Hollywood left is trying to warn us feeble minded citizens against the dangers of re-electing Bush /Cheney...Meryl Streep says she patterned his 'evil' role after Republican females, director Johnathan Demme has issued stetments indicating he hopes this movie has an effect on the fall election-- as far as the 'surprise' ending, any astute movie fan sees the 'twist' long before the finale, and knows who the real assasin is....Hollywood doesn't even have the moxy to mention Muslim extremists, instead here the bad guy is corporate America, big business, remind me again where we would be as a nation without big business? oh yeah a 3rd world country--Hollywood makes billions of dollars, the stars demand millions for their roles, sounds a little like hypocrisy to me, this whole summer has been pretty much of a letdown, except for Spiderman although I am holding out hope for "Cellular"--did you know that as far as Fahrenheit 911, it's been shown on prime time Cuba tv, awarded by the France, endorsed by the terrorist group Hezzbolah, the first american documentary allowed into the country by the red chinese--did you know that that Richard Clarke who is quoted in the movie, called Micheal Moore a liar--BUT Hollywood doesn't let facts stand in their way, because they figure most people are gulliable and can be brainwashed, pretty much as depicted in this disappointing effort, starring one of my favorite actors, remember the critics praising this flick did the same for Fahrenheit 911--which has been arranged to be released on home video before the election!!! FYI< the 9 / 11 commision states that Bush didn't lie about WMDs, the Bristish report agrees and President Putin warned Bush that Saddan was inspired by the 9/11 attacks and planned similar attacks here in America

Yu-Gi-Oh!

BETHANY M > CRITICS
by kenman06 (movies profile) Aug 15, 2004
20 of 32 people found this review helpful

………. __ . __……………………
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YO DAWGZ DIS MOVIE PWNZ ALL AND IT IZ GUD CRITICS R *****S NOW WORHSIP LUESHI U FAGZ!!!11

YuGiOh Rocks Dude
by starblaze372004 (movies profile) Aug 13, 2004
11 of 17 people found this review helpful

YuGioh rocks because The Show is Hot.the Bad Guys
Are Bad in A Good way and the Blue eyes light dragon Is so good y`all critics think this is Bad
you are So wrong this is better than pokemon
(alomst)

....
by oopsiedaisy4 (movies profile) Aug 13, 2004
11 of 21 people found this review helpful

i havent seen the movie yet, but i bet you its not like these reviewers say it is and give it a bad grade...if the show is cool, then the movie should be too...and about the acting...how is the acting important???it's not a drama movie...jeez...it a cartoon!! so if ur gonna give it a bad grade do it for something that's worth giving it a bad grade...like badly drawn...or stuff like that...

 

[Grizzlyjin]

How could anyone finds these reviews helpful?

 

[human5892]

Hahaha, I know, that's part of what makes them so funny.

I mean, the majority of people who voted found the "review" that consisted of the giant Yoshi head helpful! That's comedy gold right there.

 

[Echoes of Pink]

Well its official...acting isn't important.

 

[pestul]

The glorious tradition of people who review films before they watch them must never end!

"Who the fuck would watch this movie anyway.. I know I won't!!" (All Fs)

 

[0wn3d]

I stand by those Yu-Gi-Oh movie comments. =)

 

[Fifty]

That's great. Post more

The funniest thing has to be that 20/32 people found that Yoshi head helpful. I guess that tells us that 20 out of every 32 people viewing that review are his peers.

 

[human5892]

That's great. Post more

Okay, I will.

The Village

Shamfull Attack on Amish
by bbqueen76 (movies profile) Jul 30, 2004
59 of 109 people found this review helpful

An associate of Shaymalan told a British journalist that Shaymalan and his family took a vacation last summer in Pennsylvania. Shaymalan wanted to visit an Amish community. Apparently, the Amish were rather suspicious of Shaymalan, and were not pleased that he had brought his film equipment with him to take pictures without their permission. On top of that, we well know that Shaymalan is not white. Apparently, that didn't go over well with Shaymalan. According to the associate, Shaymalan's wife wanted to buy an Amish quilt. They stopped at a shop, camera in tow. The shop keeper told Shaymalan to turn off his camera immediately and leave. Shaymalan waited outside while his wife payed for the quilt. Evidently, the shopkeeper used his telephone and called the sheriff who asked Shaymalan if he had a permit to film. Shaymalan explained that he was making "home videos". The sheriff confiscated the film and told Shaymalan that he had to leave the county. Shaymalan made a snide remark to the shopkeeper saying "you will regret this". After returning home he began writting his script "The Village".
This movie is an outright attack on the Amish, Quacker, Mininite and other "isolationist" religious groups who value the simpliler life. Shaymalan portrays the community of Covington as a village built on secrets and wild superstitious that cause the townspeople to make animal sacrifices to appease "creatures" in the woods.
Terror tactics are used by the town elders to keep the truth from being found out. When someone is critically injured, instead of telling the townfolks the truth, the chief elder sends his blind daughter out into the woods to the "town" to get medical supplies. The chief elder rationalizes that since she is blind, she won't be able to tell anybody what she sees on the other side of the forrest, and the village will be safe and able to continue their "innocent" ways.
In reality, the Amish are nothing like that depicted in the movie. They like the simple life, but many of them have indoor plumbing, electricity and telephones. A lot of their children attend public schools. They go to the doctor and dentist like everyone else. They immunize their kids. They go to public cattle auctions. Shaymalan's depiction of them in his film or his attemp at "revenge" is malicious.

lame
by princessangelked (movies profile) Aug 6, 2004
29 of 31 people found this review helpful

The Village was so retarded, me and my friend went so we could be scared and we are truly tired of retarded movies about weird things.. come on guys make a real movie.. im tired of the fake crap..

Boring MOVIES DONT WATCH IT WASTE OF MONEY & TIME
by bullet594 (movies profile) Aug 7, 2004
28 of 29 people found this review helpful

Boring, Boring, Boring, don't watch this movie because its a waste of money but it does have a twist to it. Well, no action, all talk drama, I'll just wrap it all up like this DONT WASTE YOUR TIME AND WATCHING THE VILLEGE OF ... HAHA. OR you'll become one.

Napoleon Dynamite

what's up
by yeah2214 (movies profile) Jul 8, 2004
5 of 24 people found this review helpful

what is wrong with these people. it was a depressingly bad movie. i would have rather watched my goat piss. go see something worth seeing. i mean dodgeball was better than this. don't see this movie no matter how much people offer to pay you. overall go check out another movie.

funny like a black person movie
by robjob21 (movies profile) Jul 24, 2004
1 of 1 people found this review helpful

fabulous movie, great stuff, funny like a black movie, except it had white people in it. you know how black movies have good one liners, this movie had the same kind of stuff black people do.

so gay
by darkside2_6 (movies profile) Jul 26, 2004
2 of 7 people found this review helpful

the gayest movie i have ever seen in my life. i've seen better porno's and this movie is just so *****en gay god i dont even know why the hell they came up with this

Exorcist: The Beginning

must see movie i tell you my word perfect movie!!!
by rifaadh (movies profile) Aug 20, 2004
13 of 14 people found this review helpful

Whoever this clown is that wrote the review before me, the gamemaster doesnt know what he is talking about! YOU MUST GO SEE THIS MOVIE! He obviously didnt watch the movie or maybe he didnt even go and is bashin it for no reason, if this gets bad reviews then someoneone explain to me what a good scare is! Awesome movie, im on my way to see it again!i was so good that i want to close my eyes i was so so much in the movie that i wanted to close my eyes YOU MUST SEE THIS MOVIE IN THAT CINEMA OR THAN YOU WANT HEAR THAT SOUND HAS WELL IN THE CINEMA THE FLOOR WAS MOVEING I TELL YOU SEE IT!!!!!!!!

Do YoU tHiNk GoD wOuLd ApPrOvE????
by deckthat (movies profile) Aug 24, 2004

Let me ask you one thing: do you think God would approve of you or your kids/teenagers seeing this? I dont think so. And teens, if you are going to see this because you want to see a "scary" movie, this is not the one to go see. This is a way for demons to trap you into there hand and get in involved in there world. It is not fantasy or just "no big deal" as most would see it. I would never go see a movie like this. Think about it.. if you really think this is worth your money to go see, you must be crazy, because I doubt Jesus would approve. Think before you go. Don't lose yourself in this stuff. Look to God and see that he does not approve of this mindtrapping type of movie. The first was enough!! Its time to stop these kinds of movies from being top in the box office! If you really want to see a "scary" movie, go buy the soon to come out on video The Passion. This is what God did for you. It is a gift from him to you, so that you can live for eternity with him. He wants you to choose him so badly, so do it. No delay!