Quite possibly the most hated video game system of all time, the Nokia N-Gage is regarded today only as a joke. Which is quite a shame, actually, because while the system was an enormous flop and really didn't deserve to be a success, as a platform it wasn't wholly terrible. Much like the Atari Jaguar, the narrative of the N-Gage is focused entirely on the overwhelming bad, while hardly anybody talks about the good. This isn't to say that the N-Gage is really worth owning to anybody outside of very hardcore collectionists (and arguably, not even to them) but there is an entire platform's worth of obscure titles on the N-Gage that don't really suck that are worth discussing.
The BAD:
First, let's give a quick history lesson for those who were too young to remember the N-Gage. The N-Gage was Nokia's answer to the Gameboy Advance. Nokia realized that mobile phone technology was quickly catching up to dedicated handhelds and wanted to get in on the tech early. Unfortunately, absolutely everything about the N-Gage was botched.
The N-Gage launched for a whopping $299 upon its release. I specifically remember seeing it next to Playstation 2's at Gamestop and the PS2 was cheaper. This was a pre-iphone world where dropping several hundred dollars on an entertainment handheld wasn't really very common or accepted. More than anything else, the launch price of the N-Gage killed it - there was zero momentum out of the gate and it never picked any up going forward. Famously, the entire N-Gage line sold less than 800 units throughout the entire continent of Europe during a very highly publicized launch night.
The sticker shock was bad enough, but the system itself had a bevvy of problems beyond. The system was intended to be a phone that played games, but it was marketed mainly as the reverse - a games machine that was also a phone. This is a small distinction to make but, ultimately, it wound up dooming the system. Because people expected something primarily aimed as a games machine, inexcuasable flaws birthed from it's design as a phone annoyed gamers. To change games, as an example, you had to remove the battery compartment:
The ergonmics of the phone itself were horrendous. The speaker and mic were on the edges of the phone, giving birth to the ever-popular Taco Phone meme. The aesthetics of the phone were even worse - despite the N-Gage being positioned as a high-dollar device, it had the color scheme of the cheapest of brick nokia phones. It was ugly in 2002 and it is hideous now. The original N-Gage had a hidden button, called (dot) that was located inside the d-pad. If you pressed the entire d-pad down, sort of like clicking an analog stick, it would register (dot). (Dot) was akin to the start button, and naturally that made for huge problems when playing, as pressing the d-pad down too hard would kick you to a menu.
But none of this would have mattered if the games were any good, and, unfortunately, the launch titles were anything but. The N-Gage was one of the first handhelds to really push 3D graphics, with visuals that looked akin to PSX titles. Except the opening few titles were all considerably rushed and looked and performed terribly. Tomb Raider, one of the highest profile launches, ran at like 7 fps and had no music. The device itself had a vertically oriented screen, which lead to major cropping issues. Games which were otherwise fine, like Sonic N (A port of Sonic Advance) or Crash Nitro Racing (a sequel to CTR) were rendered unplayable thanks to the narrow viewing space, which meant you couldn't really see left or right.
The deathblow for the N-Gage came from the insulting marketing. N-Gage's marketing was centered around "Hardcore" and insulted gamers it thought weren't worthy of playing. This is the guy they were trying to say you could be if you played an N-Gage:
At least that type of ad wasn't blatently sexist. After they abandoned that "you could be this cool" ad campaign, they went with this one which was ten times worse:
Absolutely embarassing. Of the 3 years the N-gage was on the market, it was only seriously displayed at retailers for the first year. I picked up my N-Gage when they were being liquidated at the end of year two, and it virtually had no public consciousness during that entire time span. That meant, however, that most people are not familiar with the later life-span of the N-Gage...
The GOOD
So the original N-Gage design blew, their marketing was in the toilet, the price was insane, and it had no good games. Late in year 2, Nokia tried their hardest to fix all these problems. The end result is the system that should have launched in the first place:
The N-Gage QD is a fine upgrade over the original. It's smaller, looks sleeker (the clear buttons look great, IMO). To begin with, they moved (dot) to it's own button to the right of the d-pad, and called it (check). The thing feels slicker in your hands, too. The buttons have more pop, they are spaced and positioned better. As a phone, it's shaped similar to a brick phone and can be held like one (no more taco phone!). It even had the card slot moved to sane position:
The advertising even picked up, ditching the rape-alluding originals for a new logo that resembled an EEG monitor watching a beating heart, which was pretty cool. N-Gage Arena launched, which was sort of their response to Xbox Live (no online play, but online leaderboards and asynch play in games like chess). The price fell drastically - I picked up my QD and every game they had at Gamestop for under $150.
Of course, by this point, it was far too little, too late. The system still had some dumb quirks, but it wasn't flat out awful anymore. It didn't matter. The QD crashed and burned. In the US, they actually stopped making physical retail games. Many of the very last N-Gage games could only be bought in europe, or picked up through N-Gage Arena via Digital distribution.
Yes, DD. The N-Gage in many ways was vastly ahead of its time. In truth, the thing was like a proto smartphone. It could play MP3s, as an example - keep in mind this was several years before the ipad. It could play videos (real media and eventually AVIs). It could run java applications, because it was also a symbian phone (which lead to toooons of homebrew later in life). It had a built in radio. It could surf the web. It could do a lot. Digital Distributions was one of it's first big perks. And most of the best games for the system were DD-only titles.
The games are the most important parts of any library. Everybody knows the trashy shit on the N-Gage. Here are some games that are almost entirely unknown of that are actually really good.
Pocket Kingdom
Pocket Kingdom, in simplest terms, is Dragon Force. Exact same gameplay, except it is now bite sized and tiny for a portable. When N-Gage arena was online, it tied into a huge MMO where people were competing against each other, but today all you can play is the single player mode. The game is self aware, recognizing that it is an MMO on a dying handheld. Pretty fun.
Rifts
Rifts is one of the more popular pen and paper RPG series out there, and this game on the n-gage is the only video adaptation of the universe ever made. A very deep and sprawling SRPG, it's most akin to shining force in that, in addition to SRPG battle, you wander towns in normal RPG style.
Metal Slug Mobile
This is technically a symbian game, but it is playable on the N-Gage. a mobile phone port mashup of various Metal Slug games, with art intact.
Snake 3D
Everyone always jokes that Snake was Nokia's killer app, but a 3D version actually did appear on the N-Gage, for free no less. This game launched their DD service. It is a 3D, jeff minter-style remake of snake with score multipliers, wireless multiplayer, trippy visuals. It is surprisingly fun.
System Rush
System Rush is an F-Zero clone, the devs will admit that much. They were trying to essentially remake F-Zero X on the N-Gage and this game comes quite close in terms of playability. Easily the best racing game on the system.
Mile High Pinball
Finally a game where the n-gage's vertical screen orientation makes sense. Mile High Pinball is a ton of fun, the premise is that you are playing a 100-story tall pinball table. Think Kirby's dream pinball, except instead of 3 screens high, it goes for 100 screens. You periodically save in this game, and technnically can't lose. Falling down merely puts you down back several levels. The goal is to reach the top, which is surprisingly difficult.
Glimmerati
Glimmerati is cool. It's like a mix between spy hunter and grand theft auto. A top down racing game that involves illegal races, you slowly become a mogul in your area. This was planned to be a series, but never took off, obviously.
Splinter Cell Chaos Theory
Probably the best game on the entire system. It looks like a PSX title, but it is the full splinter cell chaos theory intact on the n-gage. The numerous buttons on the n-gage actually are an advantage here, as the number pad acts like a second d-pad to provide dual stick layouts. Very playable, I actually played this version BEFORE the xbox version.
Pathway to Glory
The first game Nokia ever published, this is the second best game on the system. It plays like Cannon Fodder (amiga) mixed with Call of Duty. An overhead actiony strategy-light game.
High Seize
High Seize is advanced wars on the N-Gage. Same gameplay, even the ability to choose COs with special abilities.
Nokia made so many incredible missteps with the N-Gage, it is truly boggling. Despite all that, some real gems appeared on the system. The above games are not the extent of the library, either, but it does not good to point out stuff like Tony Hawk (which is a damn good port, honestly) or King of Fighters. Getting an N-Gage today is easy, but playing one is hard. The system was never sold as a stand-alone product, only bundled with carriers. You needed a sim card to turn the thing on, even if the sim card was dead. I play mine using a deactivated t-mobile sim card. The need for a sim card to be present just makes for one more barrier from keeping people from trying this out.
I know the N-Gage's legacy is set in stone, and I'm not trying to change that. I think dead systems like this are worth exploring, if only for the spectacle of their failure. After these games died and the system was buried, the N-Gage revived as a mobile platform (called N-Gage 2.0) to be the successor to Symbian, then again as a download service. The N-Gage brand was retired in late 2008.
A trainwreck that is at least interesting to revisit every now and then. Anybody have any n-gage memories?
