I told the story before, but trust me when I say I understand where you're coming from. And I do not judge anyone who cannot forgive. It was the most difficult thing imaginable for me to come around. The hardest thing I had to do in my life, even harder than quitting my drug addiction or losing one hundred pounds.
Here is a link to
just one individual story of how horrible my mom's family is to her. A true warning, it's really horrible. She was raped literally hundreds of times by over a dozen relatives during her childhood. From the age of 5 to 8 she was called "little wifey" to her other family because everyone knew she was being molested and that my grandmother's boyfriend liked her more than my grandmom, but even still my grandmom denied it. For ages. If you want to have your stomach turn, read the link.
Like I said in this topic, my change of heart was so recent on all this that we're talking under two years (note that post came from 2011, where I was still unprepared to forgive them). It took forever for me to come to this place, because me and mom both realized things like this (and me being molested by a family member as well, even though I have vague memory of it) was destroying us. My mom still has trust issues to this day, and will wake up screaming at the top of her lungs if anyone taps her when she's asleep.
But together we went to therapy, and also separately, and me and her had many discussions that went so deep into the night that it was like a refreshing shower when we were done. But what we concluded both was that forgiveness was the only way - true, all-encompassing forgiveness, the kind that allows you to wish these people success and the fortitude to change their own flaws. We cried a lot over it, and we found strength in each other. And we forged that path together, and it has changed us forever. I cannot emphasize enough what it did. Despite my mom's illness slowly killing her, I haven't seen her this happy in years.