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Dating-Age |OT4| Realise You're Living in the Golden Years
- Thread starter Minamu
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grap3fruitman
Banned
I'm still struggling to understand this. Why would someone do that? My brain literally hurts from trying to comprehend this.
And I do? I was lucky to find someone willing to pay attention to me for a little bit and I blew it, apparently.
One step forward, ten steps back.
I don't know when I'll be able to go out again. Months, maybe years from now? =\
I've tried talking to women. I can't hold a conversation for even five seconds and they lose interest in less than that.
How do you do that when you have nothing in common? I can't even succeed when I share a few interests, like with this last girl. How are you supposed to make things work with someone that has nothing in common with you?
I'm so thoroughly confused now. =\
electricshake
Member
You need to learn to make friends before you even start to think about dating. In fact you need to deal with your depression first but I'm not going to start on that again.
stn
Member
Replies in bold except for your last point. When I pursue women I go for who I find attractive. I don't look at interests because I believe that, even if we share nothing in common, I'm adaptable enough that I'll MAKE something in common. I don't have a check-list of hobbies or traits I require. Am I attracted to you and are you a decent and genuine person? Yes? Great, we're in business!
What I do is I talk to everyone. That's the key, man. You need to talk more, ask more questions. Who cares if you like games and a girl doesn't, for example? To me, its so much more attractive to find someone that can bring new ideas to the fold.
Show interest in things, give your opinion, and try to be fun and funny! Never be gloomy, never cause problems. Never react to things with too much emotion, always remain cool and collected.
He has spoken
Stiflers Mom
Banned
Well, I personally know, that this idea works, since I have experienced it a couple of times.
I am doing a party every two months, for a couple of years now. And on this party, I am usually very confident, and "just there". My last relationship which went over 3 years, happened, because that girl gave me her phone number on that party, and she was (for me) a 10 on my personal scale. And I have girls approaching me there all the time.
But, over there at that party, it happens just naturally. I know many people there, people want to talk to me, and I dj there as well, so all these girls see me performing.
So, I can personally attest, that Brent Smiths theory works for this "controlled area".
But, I cannot translate this experience into the situation of walking into a place where I don't know anybody, sit down in a corner, and having the same degree of confidence and success with women, just "being there".
I tried, and it just doesn't happen for me.
Stiflers Mom
Banned
Does it work for you?
D
Deleted member 47027
Unconfirmed Member
No but I did expose myself.
Anyway, that's done! Onwards and upwards. Weirdly, because I feel SO BUSY I kind of want to pursue a LDR instead. Makes the time you have with someone more valuable, and you get to know the person within first.
I just don't have TIME for this dating stuff, thanks to work! I feel like I don't, at least. I get tired of others really quick.
I really need some insight here. Been seeing a girl for a few months now and I do like her a lot.
But there has been one issue of getting her out of her comfort zone. If she isn't comfortable, it becomes highly annoying and this specifically has been with one matter. Driving. Because of this, she doesn't want to drive places she has never been. I talked to her about this, and she said she would get better. Since the driving is causing physical and mental strain on me.
It's been a month and a half and no results, just more excuses.
Now, I'm not sure if I'm just being impatient or not. We do live by Chicago, so the weather has been shit. Not good time to practice driving. It's been weeks of shit. And something bigger, her father is about to die. I really don't want to be that guy on valentines day, breaking up with his girlfriend as her father is dying.
And she let something slip while we were talking a bit. The guy before me, who she had no interest in other than a sex toy. She ended up mentioning where he goes to school. An hour away. She drove over an hour for a booty call, but won't drive 15 minutes away for me.
I know I shouldn't hold anything prior to the relationship against her. I was fooling around with three other people. But this hurt me. It's been the only thing that has done it. Here is the thing, I know she is interested. She gives me all the time. I call, she answers, She wants to meet daily. She'll go down on me for hours and anytime I want.
But I want to know if I'm being too controlling or demand, or petty. My time is important. Having to drive 2 hours to pick you up, bring you here, drop you off, then back. She even offers money, but I work 30 hours a weeks on top of going to school for Engineering. It's my time I value. And I just don't know if she is worth it anymore for someone who still hasn't put forth the effort.
But there has been one issue of getting her out of her comfort zone. If she isn't comfortable, it becomes highly annoying and this specifically has been with one matter. Driving. Because of this, she doesn't want to drive places she has never been. I talked to her about this, and she said she would get better. Since the driving is causing physical and mental strain on me.
It's been a month and a half and no results, just more excuses.
Now, I'm not sure if I'm just being impatient or not. We do live by Chicago, so the weather has been shit. Not good time to practice driving. It's been weeks of shit. And something bigger, her father is about to die. I really don't want to be that guy on valentines day, breaking up with his girlfriend as her father is dying.
And she let something slip while we were talking a bit. The guy before me, who she had no interest in other than a sex toy. She ended up mentioning where he goes to school. An hour away. She drove over an hour for a booty call, but won't drive 15 minutes away for me.
I know I shouldn't hold anything prior to the relationship against her. I was fooling around with three other people. But this hurt me. It's been the only thing that has done it. Here is the thing, I know she is interested. She gives me all the time. I call, she answers, She wants to meet daily. She'll go down on me for hours and anytime I want.
But I want to know if I'm being too controlling or demand, or petty. My time is important. Having to drive 2 hours to pick you up, bring you here, drop you off, then back. She even offers money, but I work 30 hours a weeks on top of going to school for Engineering. It's my time I value. And I just don't know if she is worth it anymore for someone who still hasn't put forth the effort.
You will literally feel your arteries hardening. It's disgusting and delicious all at the same time.
Grape, this may come as a surprise to you, but almost zero people find their soulmate in one go. SHOCKING.
If you want to date, be prepared for rejection, people being rude, negativity, stand ups, the works. Maybe through all of it though, you find someone you're meant to be with. You just have to wade through all the garbage first.
GO. SEE. A. THERAPIST. So that you can handle all the shit dating brings with a positive outlook.
I haven't been telling myself that such things happen regularly when I sit around in a corner sulking or whatever, but it has happened, yeah. I also know that it can happen because cool things always happen to me
stn can attest to my stories and the sometimes really crazy stuff that happen in my life that I don't write about on gaf. I have enough personal evidence and fun memories to know that this method works wonders. I wouldn't keep at it or preach to gaf about it if I didn't enjoy it myself I've always been terrible at getting into routines, which is a story in itself, and getting into this story writing is just as hard for me as any other routine. But the things I care less about and tell myself happen, they do happen more and more every week. I see less advancements in the areas of life I care about (in an attached way) and I get much faster results in the areas I've let go of. If you aren't seeing results happening when you're just sitting around, you're either manifesting it wrong or you want it too much or for the wrong reasons imo. Brent has always encouraged a balance between being actively social and just hanging back. I rarely go to home parties, I don't like them as I prefer clubs and dance floors to just sitting around, but I see all kinds of things happen to me no matter what I do, no matter where I am.Fixed. You must be new to GAF. Noticing a new influx of Junior members lately. Welcome.
stn
Member
I also noticed he called electrishake a "he". I smiled just a bit (I'm immature, sue me). 
Back on topic...Yes, the Brent philosophy works. It entails attending social functions and approaching people from a place of casual fun and conversation. The idea is to approach the opposite sex not to ask them out on dates and all that, but to show them fun and make them approach you. Of course, you can't just sit around and wait for it. You have to be proactive but in a different way.
Also, the main point is to always think positively no matter what. If you attend a party and acquire zero phone numbers, you're not supposed to care. Your mindset should be man, I had fun at that party regardless. I went out for the sake of it and I'm glad I did!
Brent's whole idea is that you should not be so attached to "needing" the opposite sex. That's why he often states he'll approach a girl, do or say something nice, and then leave. And she'll end up pursuing him in the end. I believe it!
You don't even need to be a PUA guy to figure this out, its just a fantastic life philosophy. And it applies to the ladies as well. If a girl came to me from a neutral place and just made fun without wanting something from me, I'd be VERY attracted.
Watching and listening to his insight really changed my views on things.
Back on topic...Yes, the Brent philosophy works. It entails attending social functions and approaching people from a place of casual fun and conversation. The idea is to approach the opposite sex not to ask them out on dates and all that, but to show them fun and make them approach you. Of course, you can't just sit around and wait for it. You have to be proactive but in a different way.
Also, the main point is to always think positively no matter what. If you attend a party and acquire zero phone numbers, you're not supposed to care. Your mindset should be man, I had fun at that party regardless. I went out for the sake of it and I'm glad I did!
Brent's whole idea is that you should not be so attached to "needing" the opposite sex. That's why he often states he'll approach a girl, do or say something nice, and then leave. And she'll end up pursuing him in the end. I believe it!
You don't even need to be a PUA guy to figure this out, its just a fantastic life philosophy. And it applies to the ladies as well. If a girl came to me from a neutral place and just made fun without wanting something from me, I'd be VERY attracted.
Watching and listening to his insight really changed my views on things.
He gives great advice. I agree, don't consider his philosophy any kind of PUA tactic either, it's just general life advice that helps you be more confident in yourself and puts the focus on you rather than the prospective date.
On a side note, it doesn't particularly matter what gender GAF posters are. If electricshake wants to point out her gender then let her do it, no need to do it for her IMHO
Can't speak for electricshake, but it's pretty damn annoying when people assume the default is male. So yeah, it does matter what gender we are when people assume we're guys and even pointing out that we aren't is apparently this weird thing. Girls exist on the internet. It's okay to acknowledge that.On a side note, it doesn't particularly matter what gender GAF posters are. If electricshake wants to point out her gender then let her do it, no need to do it for her IMHO
I was more pointing out that if the poster wants to make their gender known they should do so themselves, since some women may be uncomfortable having their gender revealed. In any case, it seems your point is 'don't automatically assume male', which I have no complaints with. You should probably know I have no ill intentions or motives in saying what I did :|
Oh, no no. Most of us in this thread already know that electricshake is a girl--and a good looking one at that--that's why it was funny when the new member thought she was a guy.
Ah okay
I don't focus much on what gender other GAFfers are, so I didn't see the point in correcting the gender assumption. I didn't know it was something people were sensitive about.electricshake
Member
He gives great advice. I agree, don't consider his philosophy any kind of PUA tactic either, it's just general life advice that helps you be more confident in yourself and puts the focus on you rather than the prospective date.
On a side note, it doesn't particularly matter what gender GAF posters are. If electricshake wants to point out her gender then let her do it, no need to do it for her IMHO
Nah it's cool, I've made it obvious in this thread that I'm a girl because I think it's useful for other posters (who are overwhelmingly male) to see things from a female point of view. I did notice it but wasn't going to point it out because in that context it wasn't a big deal.
Oh, no no. Most of us in this thread already know that electricshake is a girl--and a good looking one at that--that's why it was funny when the new member thought she was a guy.
Aww you're making me blush. Thanks.
I know what you mean but I wasn't bothered in this case, plus given that on gaf men outnumber women greatly I don't think it was an unfair assumption to make. And given the context it's not too big a deal.
Anyway enough derailing. Seeing my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks tonight which I was super excited about but now I'm stressing about it a bit. He's been ridiculously busy with several deadlines for college/uni, the last of which was today, which is why we haven't seen each other, but I feel a bit like he's been kind of distant in his texts. I don't know if I'm just overthinking things (which I have a terrible habit of doing) and I'm just imagining it, or it's just because of all the other stuff going on in his life (deadlines, his mum isn't well plus he's been having a bit of hard time at work), or if he's going off me. I'm in two minds whether to say anything because if I'm imagining it or it's just he's worrying about all those other things, I don't want to add 'mental girlfriend' to the list.
Not really looking for advice, think I just needed to vent.
Overthinking is like this.
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Hi...+hate+when+you+cant+figure_3b0407_4040734.jpg
http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Hi...+hate+when+you+cant+figure_3b0407_4040734.jpg
grap3fruitman
Banned
Let's not try and fool ourselves: there's no way my depression is ever going away. It's just something I have to put up with.
My hobbies? TV, that's about it. Some video games. I work, come home and will just watch TV until I fall asleep. Rinse, repeat. I'm too depressed to even play video games now. I really have to force myself to even do that nowadays.
Ahh okay. Noted!
Start working out. Take up an activity, like learning to draw. There is a plethora of amazing things the world has to offer besides a relationship and videogames/tv.
Right, reeling from one of the most "innocent" childhoods ever, I literally haven't seriously come into contact with this sort of stuff until now I guess (early 20's), which has left me, relatively, in a position of knowing very very little.
Through a series of events which I understand, I've gotten fairly interested in pursuing this girl after seeing her at some society events at uni/college a few times (like 2-3), and effectively there are 2 more events and a get together at some pub left before that society dies down for the remainder of the term-time based activities.
Effectively, I've picked a really shit point to dive into this, because I feel like I've also strapped a timer to a situation I understand very little of lol. I'm gonna give it a whack, but I want to try and either buy myself some more time or tie this up by the end of the events, neither of which I know how to do. I don't know if I've been flirting, I haven't really been thinking when I talk to her, but post morteming what's happened, I mean, I just smile make eye contact, and mix up teasing and the odd compliment (won't lie its mostly teasing, I suck at complimenting).
What I'm saying is...help me lock this down one way or another, a rejection is better than a state of what if. I have no idea how to flirt, or anything, I have no idea about any chemistry that may or may not be there (I am a horrible judge of this), I am a blank slate.
Through a series of events which I understand, I've gotten fairly interested in pursuing this girl after seeing her at some society events at uni/college a few times (like 2-3), and effectively there are 2 more events and a get together at some pub left before that society dies down for the remainder of the term-time based activities.
Effectively, I've picked a really shit point to dive into this, because I feel like I've also strapped a timer to a situation I understand very little of lol. I'm gonna give it a whack, but I want to try and either buy myself some more time or tie this up by the end of the events, neither of which I know how to do. I don't know if I've been flirting, I haven't really been thinking when I talk to her, but post morteming what's happened, I mean, I just smile make eye contact, and mix up teasing and the odd compliment (won't lie its mostly teasing, I suck at complimenting).
What I'm saying is...help me lock this down one way or another, a rejection is better than a state of what if. I have no idea how to flirt, or anything, I have no idea about any chemistry that may or may not be there (I am a horrible judge of this), I am a blank slate.
TurboLibre
Member
Any number of reasons. Maybe they already have something with someone else and were still testing new waters before they decided. Maybe they realized that they're not ready to start anything serious. Same thing goes with your date. Maybe they picked up your self defeating attitude and decided to cut and run. In the end it doesn't matter, the results are the same.
I highly recommend going into these situations without any agenda. That way you're not putting too much stock into what you're doing "right" or "wrong" and there is no success or failure. Just enjoy your night out with somebody new. If things go great, awesome, if not you can still make a new friend. If you're stressing out over this shit, it's impossible to act natural and be yourself.
Ten steps back? You're in the exact same position you were a month ago, only this time you're reminded that you can get a date. So what if it didn't work? There will be many, many more that won't work either. Are you going to cry about it and break down every time? Or are you going to be a man and use this momentum to dust yourself off and keep moving forward? If you're set on the former, can you really be surprised that women aren't interested? I wouldn't want a woman that's like that, would you?
Ask open ended questions and figure out what they like. If you're even mildly interested, ask questions that go deeper into the subject. For example:
Grape: Are you still in school?
Random Girl: Nope. I graduated last year.
Grape: What were you studying?
Random Girl: Photography.
Grape: Awesome, that sounds like fun. What do you take pictures of?
Random Girl: Blah blah blah
And so fourth. Not only are you getting them to talk about something they like, but you're showing interest in it. And have a great in to set up a second date (take pictures at the beach or whatever). Or maybe they clam up the whole date and are boring as hell. In that case, you're not missing anything and it's their loss. Ya know what I'm getting at?
Also wanted to add: Force yourself to try new things. Make a list of anything you're even remotely interest in and try to establish some new hobbies. I get terribly depressed when I'm just going through the motions. It wasn't until I broke it up and said "I'm gonna learn how to cook", "I want to learn how to work out" or "I need to figure out this Photography thing" did I start to feel better. Figure out some new hobbies and experiment with them. It breaks up your days, keeps you occupied, makes you interesting and gives you stuff to talk about.
Hydrogen Bluebird
Member
Not gonna go into specifics but I should have listened to advice I got here a few days ago 
electricshake
Member
Less than an hour after I posted this, he pretty much cancelled on me. His deadline has been changed to tomorrow and he's not finished what he needs to do. In my text back I assumed tonight was off. He hasn't replied yet confirming that (he's in work so doesn't always get a chance to) but he finishes in 40 minutes. I was meant to be picking him up. I don't know what to do anymore.
Not gonna go into specifics but I should have listened to advice I got here a few days ago
I really hope you didn't cheat.
D
Deleted member 47027
Unconfirmed Member
Say something. Get into it. Either you'll find out what's up or you'll forge a stronger bond. If you have a feeling of distance, it is important to address it.
Hydrogen Bluebird
Member
Well, not sure. Here's my previous post for reference
Anyway, about 2 days ago, I decided that I really wanted to be with my co-worker (and I should end my relationship with my current girlfriend). I tried to ask my co-worker if she still felt the same way and why she chose to text me the other night (knowing full well that it was wrong). She told me that "she's already forgotten about it, and that I shouldn't think about it anymore." I told her that that was easier said than done, at least on my end, and she responded with "Well I've already found peace. If you're still thinking about it, that's not my problem anymore."
I didn't expect her response to be that cold and didn't expect her to be annoyed.
Regardless, I also decided that I should end my relationship with my current girlfriend so that's what I tried to do last night. I told her that it just isn't the same anymore and that I'm not happy as I used to be. As I expected, she was pissed and told me how selfish I am. She also ended by saying that "if you're not happy, then that's not my problem anymore."
Kind of amazing how that bolded part got said me to twice in a day by 2 different women; but I know that's how life works sometimes.
thanks, i try! (old nickname)Best of luck green, just don't be a jerk
funny you mention that, my girlfriend is a bit younger than me as well. I don't pursue younger women but in my area i have not met a single woman my age that i have the slightest bit in common with. but yes, i've had the same thing related to me... good guys are hard to find.
I've also been consistently told that the fact that I'm respectful to women, gainfully employed, have my own place and have a car puts me in a pretty exclusive group. That didn't guarantee relationships but I didn't have too much trouble meeting women or getting them to respond.
* * *
The one thing that OKC and online dating taught me is to stop letting rejection be an obstacle or deterrent. Notice that i didn't use the word 'fear' because no one likes to be rejected but i did my best not to think of it that way. If a girl didn't respond, stopped responding or didn't want to see me any more I always tried to think of it as not being a good fit and not take it personally. Some times it was harder than others but I did well to heed some advice I read somewhere about dating... 'you're going to go on a lot of shitty dates before you meet someone, there's no avoiding it'.
depths20XX
Member
It's always better to say something if you're feeling this way. A guy isn't gonna think you're mental for asking, "Is everything ok between us?"
Kung Fu Jedi
Member
Yep, pretty much the same things I hear in most regards. My girlfriend's friends just aren't meeting guys who treat them with respect, have much ambition in terms of career, or generally have their shit together. As I mentioned in the post that you quoted, these girls are in their early 30's and are ready for something serious, but they're having a hard time finding guys that are on the same page.
I haven't seen my girl in a week and a half and I won't see her again until the end of next week. But when I do see her next Friday, it'll be to pick her up from the airport to join me on a road trip to our new home. I'm moving from my city to hers to be with her, and we couldn't be more excited. I definitely can't wait until I can fall asleep with her each night and wake up with her next morning. Moving sucks, but the payoff will be worth it.
A Human Becoming
More than a Member
Going on a "date" Friday with a woman I met on OkCupid to watch all the short films nominated for the Oscars. The drive is 75 minutes, longer than I expected.
Perspicacity
Banned
I'm going on a date Friday with someone who I met/made out with at a bar concert on Friday. This is the first date since ending my LTR about a month ago.
Wonder if I'll remember what she looks like.
Wonder if I'll remember what she looks like.
As a guy in his early 20's I can testify my observation that the majority of my own age group are all about the short-term or not looking for such qualities in their partners*. I feel like I'd be better off not even looking and just focusing on me, myself, and I until I hit 35, by which time I may have my own practice and own a baller house or apartment. I'm in that disillusioning stage where my notions of romanticism are being broken down piece by piece in the wake of a very stark and dry reality. And to be frank it's making me just not want to enter any kind of relationship.
*An exception is my best friend who's my age, but she's also just focusing on herself for now.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Exactly my views right now. Really just don't even give a shit or wanna try.
Coworker had to be cold- she made her decision, can't be leading you on. It's for the best.
There's a difference between trying really hard and getting frustrated, and just having some fun. That's what it should be about, right? Having fun? If a date, or a one night stand or whatever turns into something more, great. If not, well, too bad. But dating should be fun and not frustrating. And at least you'll get some practice, in stead of having to learn everything at age 35.
She decided to choose for her relationship, she has every right to do that. Still sucks for you though. As for your ex, people say all sorts of harmful things when they're broken up with. As for you being selfish, try not to worry about it. You're in a relationship because it's supposed to make you happy. If you're not anymore, break up. I'd actually say it's selfish of her to expect of you to stay in the relationship even though you're not happy.
You didn't get the girl at your work, which sucks. And your single/newly broken up, which also sucks at the moment. But at least you're free to do as you like now. Good luck with it.
I don't mind dating. Relationships are a different issue. I'm not frustrated nor am I really trying hard to get a mate. It's quite the opposite.
beat
Member
I stupidly activated my profile on Lulu (the app where women can rank men 'in secret'). Probably just shoulda stayed blissfully ignorant. Guys can see how many women have looked at the profile and how many have favorited it, but that's it, we can't see the hashtags or score we're assigned.
stn
Member
@MogCakes
It feels like you're limiting yourself because of insecurity? You mention having your own practice and apartment - are you sure you're not just thinking this way because you might feel insecure about not having these things now? Just some food for thought!
All I really wanted to say was don't limit yourself. If you see opportunities to have fun, go for it. I don't even have my own car, man. Sure, I've lost some options because of it but then I wouldn't want those options anyway. And, very soon when I DO have my own car, well, the girl who appreciates me for me will get to enjoy it.
You'll feel like crap if you wait 'til 35. Its not something that should bother a person but it generally does regardless. Focus on yourself but keep your mind open to opportunities. Have fun with it.
It feels like you're limiting yourself because of insecurity? You mention having your own practice and apartment - are you sure you're not just thinking this way because you might feel insecure about not having these things now? Just some food for thought!
All I really wanted to say was don't limit yourself. If you see opportunities to have fun, go for it. I don't even have my own car, man. Sure, I've lost some options because of it but then I wouldn't want those options anyway. And, very soon when I DO have my own car, well, the girl who appreciates me for me will get to enjoy it.
You'll feel like crap if you wait 'til 35. Its not something that should bother a person but it generally does regardless. Focus on yourself but keep your mind open to opportunities. Have fun with it.
Thanks for taking the time to read my rant and respond! Been a while since then, not much changed but I'm not too annoyed by it.
It's not about religion, Serbia is more religious and it's different there. It's the shitty culture. Girls here feel like they have to grab a boyfriend and get married asap, small country and everyone's in everyone's business so she must be a good girl and retarded reasons like that. Pick up stuff isn't a problem, the "game" works as everywhere but the girls are never into one night stands and most are in relationships which is lame and annoying me, no easy way to solve aside from moving out of country as you said.
Also if it was just religion, Turkey is very religious too and according to some studies I've seen, they have most sexual partners before marriage from all European countries.
I don't lone wolf much, I can but here it doesn't work so I don't. I always go out with friends, have wing if needed etc. I just need to focus on having fun out at night and talking to girls and any results of that are side effect.
Anywhere I went has greener grass than here
from experience. I traveled a lot through EU and a bit to USA and it was much better experience. Here is just annoying. Let's put aside one night stands, you have to work hard to get a date, besides going through hell to find single girl, then spend shitload of money on dates, a lot of them, to get anywhere close to "making love". Or I can go up to Serbia for a month and have much different experience...I've been to Poland, got couple of friends there and it is a lot better than here. I know and I'm not expecting polar opposite but you don't have to waste half a year on a single girl.
I don't care for long term relationships, I might one day but right now I'm not looking for someone to spend long time with, just want to go wild and get it out of my system, and we'll see how long that goes for.
What I am probably gonna do when I come back from Poland is buy a small apartment in Belgrade and go there whenever I can while still trying to achieve anything here but have all the fun up there
There's no real solution to my problem except to be assimilated into it but I'm just ranting, luckily I can travel whenever I want and will spend 2 years in different culture.
electricshake
Member
You're right, thanks. He said everything is ok it's just family stuff and he apologised for last night.
@MogCakes
It feels like you're limiting yourself because of insecurity? You mention having your own practice and apartment - are you sure you're not just thinking this way because you might feel insecure about not having these things now? Just some food for thought!
All I really wanted to say was don't limit yourself. If you see opportunities to have fun, go for it. I don't even have my own car, man. Sure, I've lost some options because of it but then I wouldn't want those options anyway. And, very soon when I DO have my own car, well, the girl who appreciates me for me will get to enjoy it.
You'll feel like crap if you wait 'til 35. Its not something that should bother a person but it generally does regardless. Focus on yourself but keep your mind open to opportunities. Have fun with it.
Ha I don't have my own practice yet. I'm still in college, in my early twenties. I have no problems talking to people. I just don't see the point in looking for a relationship considering my age bracket and their priorities. There are many exceptions, but my experiences have taught me they are still rare. As I said, my notions of romanticism are being broken as I'm becoming more and more disillusioned. That doesn't mean I've become depressed and pessimistic.
I feel the same way.
At the same time, I also feel that I need experience instead of waiting to that age to handle a relationship.
How do I begin is still a mystery, and I suppose is what will make life exciting. I don't really have my life completely figured out yet, but I bet rarely most people do.
The waiting to 35 thing was hyperbole
I suppose you're in your late 20s?
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