Dear Girls Who Are (Finally) Ready To Date Fedoras: We Don't Want You Anymore, M'Lady

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Mumei said:
One of the things that the esteemed theorists in some parts of the manosphere posit is that women's appearances peak sometime in their late teens / early twenties, and that everything afterwards is just straight downhill into haggardness and despair. Of course, this is just another way they oppress the Nice Guys, because they spend all of the brief, brief time that they are beautiful and desirable riding the Cock Carousel (it's a technical term) with various Alphas, and they only settle for the Nice Guys (the Betas) once they've decided to settle down and become old and ugly, once again inflicting pain and suffering on the poor Nice Guys.
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Here's a chart based on the US Census.
FT_14.02.06_Newlyweds_Age-1.png
 
I was totally this guy in high school: a hand-wringing 110 lbs nerd that held onto his first girlfriend like grim death. Then I went to college and quickly learned good social judgement. That dating is about finding compatibility among the many, not overwhelming the few with grandiose unsolicited advances. I rode the ups and downs of dating in college/early 20s and was treated like shit and sometimes honestly treated some others like shit. It was both grand and sometimes sad.

Now a family man I now know this m'lady meme will give some of my friends a reality check. Self-reflecting on this behavior will be to the betterment of themselves and modern dating . Before they were treated like wounded little puppies - now they must realize it's time to grow the fuck up.

I only wish the internet was here for me in this way in high school.
 
You walked through the door I held open for you without a thank you or really any acknowledgement of my little gesture.
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What the fuck am I reading.

If this is in the US (and I'm assuming it is), holding the door open isn't considered a "gesture". At all. NOT holding the door for anybody, including middle aged fat bald dudes, is rude. Does he seriously think holding open a door is supposed to get him brownie points?

I get it though, now that you’re on the downside of 30, the wrinkles are starting, the body is sagging and you have stretch marks and that c-section scar from pushing out that bad boy’s rugrat. I know it was impossible to see that that deadbeat irresponsible jerk was actually a deadbeat irresponsible jerk, but that’s not my problem. While you were waiting for those texts that never came I was busy getting my career in order and maximizing my credit score. Now my biggest issue is deciding which color Audi I’m going to buy. Why in the world would I choose to take on you and your problems?
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Yeah, this never actually happened. This is pure revenge porn fantasy.

I can guarantee the reality is that the guy's still clinging to a bad date from a decade ago where he idiotically paid $100 for a first-date dinner (because that's obviously not a recipe for disaster if the date is any less than fantastic...), stumbled on her Facebook page where she's looking even hotter than she did when she met him and is engaged to someone who actually has the Audi, and he set off on a blinding rage.

Or it's just clickbait for people looking for revenge porn fantasies.

EDIT: I have the social dating skills of an 8th grader and can still realize this isn't an "inspirational manifesto" for the "nice guys" out there, it's just the ramblings of a sociopath.
 
I know this will be terribly unpopular here but despite the salty tears there is a bit of a point here. I see it a lot with older co-workers. As people get older they want different things, the "bad boy"-adventerous/dangerous/swagger guy from the mid twenties is not so desirable to a woman in her thirties. I often hear my middle aged women coworkers complaining about there's "Just no nice guys" I remember a conversation I once had with a coworker saying that she was wrong and you couldn't throw a brick without a nice guy complaining that he got in the way of her brick and she didn't want a nice guy she just wanted a nice guy who happened to look like Tom Cruise. But after a long conversation I found I wasn't really being fair.

As people get older there tastes mature. But a large problem is that those tastes mature anyone that could have met those tastes has already settled down with someone, given up on romance, turned into assholes themselves, or are so far down the fedora rabbit hole that they're undateable. So that doesn't mean that Fedoras are suddenly desirable. But it does mean that there is a shift in what people want as their life situation changes, and yes for many that might mean a shift towards more reliable guys, and yes, by the time such things become desired for some people those reliable guys are being reliable with other people. But that doesn't suddenly mean anyone's crying "Where are all the Fedoras?!"
 
bigb0ss said:
It's doesn't even have to be Japanese women. I know a few "nice" guys who don't know about videogame/internet culture, but they still get the nice guy treatment. They just didn't have luck with western women, and ended up marrying women from another cultures who are completely in love with them and appreciate how kind they are.

One of my good friends had his share of fun with girls when we were younger. He ended up marrying a Vietnamese girl, because he loved how she treat him and her ideas for a family.

These nice guys just need to expand their search for romance. Plenty of other girls in other cultures would love to have a romantic dinner like the one in the first post.
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wait what

...what the hell is this post
 
ronito said:
I know this will be terribly unpopular here but despite the salty tears there is a bit of a point here. I see it a lot with older co-workers. As people get older they want different things, the "bad boy"-adventerous/dangerous/swagger guy from the mid twenties is not so desirable to a woman in her thirties. I often hear my middle aged women coworkers complaining about there's "Just no nice guys" I remember a conversation I once had with a coworker saying that she was wrong and you couldn't throw a brick without a nice guy complaining that he got in the way of her brick and she didn't want a nice guy she just wanted a nice guy who happened to look like Tom Cruise. But after a long conversation I found I wasn't really being fair.

As people get older there tastes mature. But a large problem is that those tastes mature anyone that could have met those tastes has already settled down with someone, given up on romance, turned into assholes themselves, or are so far down the fedora rabbit hole that they're undateable. So that doesn't mean that Fedoras are suddenly desirable. But it does mean that there is a shift in what people want as their life situation changes, and yes for many that might mean a shift towards more reliable guys, and yes, by the time such things become desired for some people those reliable guys are being reliable with other people. But that doesn't suddenly mean anyone's crying "Where are all the Fedoras?!"
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I also think that 'confidence' reads differently when you're young versus old. A young guy acting young / wild reads as confident, but it reads totally different when he's older. Same for a quiet or focused young guy versus older. It's almost like the definition of confident completely reverses.
 
Adol said:
I also think that 'confidence' reads differently when you're young versus old. A young guy acting young / wild reads as confident, but it reads totally different when he's older. Same for a quiet or focused young guy versus older. It's almost like the definition of confident completely reverses.
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Absolutely. At a younger age, confidence may be shown as young men butting heads with each other, being cocksure as the recklessness of an act can come off as being comfortable with one's mindset, regardless of what the outcome will be. That's what these guys don't get, it's not that their being an asshole, it's that they're making a decision and sticking to it, regardless of where the outcome may take them. And it's fine to do that when you're young because young people are allowed to make mistakes, it's part of growing up.

You don't do that when you're 30. If you do that when you're 30, you wind up with some really bad repercussions to your social and personal lives. So you express confidence in other ways. It's about the decisions that you make that set you aside that express confidence. It's not, "yeah man, let's stay out until 4 am drinking beers and howling at the moon," it becomes, "naw man, I need to get home because I have a business proposal in the morning and if all things go well, it's serious duccets," and most of all, it's figuring out how to balance being confidence, responsible, and spontaneous. You can be 2 of those 3, but if you aren't all 3, it's pretty easy to come off as a bore, a recluse, or spineless.

Don't understand how people don't get that.

It's the classic idea of "Ignore her a little and she'll want you more." She won't want you more because you're being a dick to her by ignoring her, she'll want you more because having other things in your life besides her makes you seem more interesting and more well rounded and you'll come off as a more seasoned person. "Well, I've got concert tickets on thursday, but what are you doing Saturday night? There's this great exhibit we can go to at the local college, and afterwards we'll grab some tapas, maybe take a walk along the beach and we can get to know each other better," is the proper (or at least better) response.
 
"That's nice" as she dates someone better than you in every way.

I think the best thing to do is lay off the long open letters. All they seem to do is make you look sad and undignified. You're never going to win the 'who has the better life' battle.
 
Mesoian said:
Absolutely. At a younger age, confidence may be shown as young men butting heads with each other, being cocksure as the recklessness of an act can come off as being comfortable with one's mindset, regardless of what the outcome will be. That's what these guys don't get, it's not that their being an asshole, it's that they're making a decision and sticking to it, regardless of where the outcome may take them. And it's fine to do that when you're young because young people are allowed to make mistakes, it's part of growing up.

You don't do that when you're 30. If you do that when you're 30, you wind up with some really bad repercussions to your social and personal lives. So you express confidence in other ways. It's about the decisions that you make that set you aside that express confidence. It's not, "yeah man, let's stay out until 4 am drinking beers and howling at the moon," it becomes, "naw man, I need to get home because I have a business proposal in the morning and if all things go well, it's serious duccets," and most of all, it's figuring out how to balance being confidence, responsible, and spontaneous. You can be 2 of those 3, but if you aren't all 3, it's pretty easy to come off as a bore, a recluse, or spineless.

Don't understand how people don't get that.
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Exactly.

If a girl didn't like you because you were a Nice Guy in high school, she won't like you for it as an adult, because you'll still be a simp.
 
Cromat said:
Is the M'Lady line just from that comic or was it actually ever used?
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We'll never find the source, but that M'lady thing is definitely a satire of reality. I've seen people do that in real life, it's...fucking painful. Most people I've seen do it weren't wearing fedoras or blazers though
 
Guys like him never find true success or happiness in life. Either this is a satire, or it's the biggest load of self-indulgent bull that I've seen in a while.
 
Hasphat'sAnts said:
Yeah, being nice and seeing that you made somebody's day better should be a reward in and of itself.
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...I mean, sure. But if you are looking for something more, you can't be afraid to go after it. These people are equating being nice with losing. If you wanna be nice, be nice. If you want to go after a girl for a relationship, meaningful or otherwise, you need to present yourself as something desirable, and often "nice" is not desirable. Your brother is nice. Your mom is nice. Your 2nd grade math teacher was nice.
 
Mesoian said:
...I mean, sure. But if you are looking for something more, you can't be afraid to go after it. These people are equating being nice with losing. If you wanna be nice, be nice. If you want to go after a girl for a relationship, meaningful or otherwise, you need to present yourself as something desirable, and often "nice" is not desirable. Your brother is nice. Your mom is nice. Your 2nd grade math teacher was nice.
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Yeah that's what I meant. Being nice should be about you, not about what other people can do for you because you were nice to them.
 
royalan said:
Exactly.

If a girl didn't like you because you were a Nice Guy in high school, she won't like you for it as an adult, because you'll still be a simp.
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To be fair, I've had several girls that were'nt interested in me in high school because I was a nice guy come back and try to date me.

But by then all I did was laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
 
Zuhzuhzombie!! said:
Wait. We're talking about tacky un tailored ugly unmatched blazers worn simply because some goon thinks blazer = cool or they want to cosplay the 40s, right?

Cause I have to wear a blazer for work. >:-(
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There's a difference between dressing up for work and throwing a blazer on top of a t-shirt because you think it makes you look more sophisticated.

blazer.jpg


Yes

15387797644153414228.jpeg


No

And for the love of god, if you're gonna have a beard, comb it. Tired of seeing the scraggly beards just going unmanaged. Just comb it out so it at least APPEARS to be full, even if it's not.
 
Adol said:
I also think that 'confidence' reads differently when you're young versus old. A young guy acting young / wild reads as confident, but it reads totally different when he's older. Same for a quiet or focused young guy versus older. It's almost like the definition of confident completely reverses.
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Definitely. I also think the lifestyle you are willing to live when you're younger is rarely the same you're willing to live when you're older. This has an effect on who you hang around with and who you get into relationships with, and this is completely natural.
 
Im convinced that this is all some coordinated joke/meme that 4chan or someone is seeding across the internet on purpose.

This crap came out of nowhere. And yet, its everywhere. The mlady shit in particular is just to funny to be real life.
 
Guys, look at these fucking pathetic fucks that say nice guys are the ones who are fucking up. This pieces of shit dont know crap and they try to preach to us how to live OUR lives, when they are most fucking disgusting things on the Earth.


Shame on all you FUCKING RETARDS that cant feel an ounce of a compassion for you fucking brothers and sisters. This whole time you thought that race was a reason to fight, religion was a reason to fight, but none of that matters because as long as evil spirits like you live on this earth, we will kill eactother.

So everyone, if you see these fucking sorry ass trolls calling the OP and pos, turn it back on those guys. A nice guy isn't pretending to be nice, its to feel love for one another regardless of your gender or race. None of that matters.

But i will say one thing. For all you negative nancies that have been bringing down the people that wanted Love, you will suffer for putting us through Hell for many years. Thats all I will say
 
He is butthurt but that women is also a bitch. Both idiots. She was plain disrespectful didling her phone and taking a free meal.
 
StickSoldier said:
Guys, look at these fucking pathetic fucks that say nice guys are the ones who are fucking up. This pieces of shit dont know crap and they try to preach to us how to live OUR lives, when they are most fucking disgusting things on the Earth.


Shame on all you FUCKING RETARDS that cant feel an ounce of a compassion for you fucking brothers and sisters. This whole time you thought that race was a reason to fight, religion was a reason to fight, but none of that matters because as long as evil spirits like you live on this earth, we will kill eactother.

So everyone, if you see these fucking sorry ass trolls calling the OP and pos, turn it back on those guys. A nice guy isn't pretending to be nice, its to feel love for one another regardless of your gender or race. None of that matters.

But i will say one thing. For all you negative nancies that have been bringing down the people that wanted Love, you will suffer for putting us through Hell for many years. Thats all I will say
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What amazes me about this issue is that these so-called nice guys would never date a girl just because she was nice to them. And the reason is obvious: no one is attracted to niceness. I'm not saying that nice people are unattractive, just that it is not their niceness that will attract other people. People want to hang out with individuals that are:

- Interesting
- Funny
- Intelligent
- Resourceful
- Good looking

etc.

In other words, people who offer value. Being nice does not in itself offer any value. It's just etiquette.
 
Hasphat'sAnts said:
Yeah, being nice and seeing that you made somebody's day better should be a reward in and of itself.
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It is and it isn't. There's often a desire for some sort of reciprocation, i.e. be nice to others and they'll at the very least not be dicks to you down the line. Which I've learned is rarely ever true. (Or maybe I just have bad luck) I make people laugh, puff up their confidence, and there's always a few who'd take advantage of my fedora-ness and bully me, put me down to make themselves look and feel better.

It sometimes seems as if people don't appreciate you for just... not being an ass.
 
Sobriquet said:
How would he know what a woman's body looks like?
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Word. Some of the stuff that comes out of these diatribes sounds like japanese idol fans complaining about how their "godly waifus" are having their positions threated by the "21 year old hag spinstresses" of the music industry. But god help that girl if she dates anyone, "WE WILL BURN HER FUCKING HOUSE DOWN!"
 
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