Interracial dating GAF. Post your experiences.

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MercuryLS

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I'm an Indian male raised in Canada dating a white girl. She's into my culture and has the same religion (we're both quite moderate when it comes to this, but it helps). We have many of the same values and goals in life. But there are a few differences when it comes to the topic of kids. I want my kids to be circumsized, have muslim names and be raised with strong Islamic values. She's taken the opposite stance on all three. It's not the end of the world, but I expected a few things like this before I got involved with her. We'll figure it out I'm sure.

So interracial dating GAF. I'm curious, how has it been?

Also please don't turn this into a cut vs. uncut thread.
 
I've honestly been happier dating outside my race than within, no bad experiences really. I generally dont look at race when I date, the only red flag for me is religion.
 
I dated a Guatemalan girl. Well, her dad was Guatemalan and her mom was German/Spanish. Anyway, she was a poet. She was nice. We had a good time together and our different ethnicities never caused much friction.
 
pants said:
I've honestly been happier dating outside my race than within, no bad experiences really. I generally dont look at race when I date, the only red flag for me is religion.
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White guy here, dated all colors of the rainbow and married a Persian girl. Great times, and I feel the same. Religion and lack of life experience / education are the big red flags for me.
 
pants said:
In OP's case? yeah for sure, he's doomed.
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Lol, I'm willing to bend on the circumcision one. Names, I'll probably fight for. The Islamic values one is more from just making sure my kids are aware of the positive aspects of the religion. She's ok with them learning about the religion in an environment where she's involved.
 
I usually avoid parents like the plague but it's worked pretty well so far. It helps that religion has never been an issue.

Edit: I'm a white male and I've been with a bunch of different races. The above always applied.
 
MercuryLS said:
So interracial dating GAF. I'm curious, how has it been?
Click to expand...

I (European) have been with an Indian girl for quite some time, and I never had issues related to ethnicity. My guess is that your "problem" is not race, it's religious views. /edit: To elaborate on that, we both are atheists, so that certainly helped. I personally can't imagine myself dating somebody seriously who's world view is irrational to me. Of course, I tolerate and respect religious people, but to live a life together seriously, the core world views should be compatible, especially when you're planing to have children.
 
As a white guy who has dated East Asian girls (Korean, Japanese), the pairing was so accepted that there is no story. It was as frictionless as dating someone of my own ethnicity. Obviously this type of couple has been well worn in society. I'd call it the least eyebrow raising type of interracial pair in modern society. I really have a lot of white privilege and predecessor white/Asian couples to thank for making it so easy.

In terms of within the relationship itself: we tend to be irreligious and dining on the same soup of Western post-modern, secular humanist, consumerist values. Again, it was like dating someone of my own culture; no culture clashes at all really. With the Korean there are some conservative attitudes towards sex, but it wasn't even as much of an issue as dating a prudish white Christian would be.
 
First "real" relationship I ever had was with a black chick. We got along perfectly and had it not been for my family basically banning her from any family events I'm sure I would still be with her. Mexican Americans in Southern California aren't the biggest fans of black folks. It's a real shame too. Luckily I got older and realized I don't give a shit what my family thinks / says about the person I'm with. I really love dark skin and it seems my family is obsessed with anyone darker than us being sub human or someshit. Glad I have little to no contact with those people.
 
Talked to a white girl, I'm black. Started off well, till I found out she had harboring feelings for another guy I worked with, more than me.

Then said screw her, then fucked her twin sister.
 
ElTorro said:
I (European) have been with an Indian girl for quite some time, and I never had issues related to ethnicity. My guess is that your "problem" is not race, it's religious views.
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True. We're both willing to talk things out and compromise for each other. She took a hard stance only on circumcision, so I backed off. Same thing happened with my sis who married a white guy. The name thing, I think will be ok, I don't want my kids have overly ethnic names anyways. And we're both pretty lax about religion in general, but both want our kids to be exposed to the positives of the religion.
 
When I was with my Ex she's Black and I'm Spanish. Walking in her Neighborhood on Broadway in Manhattan holding hands with upper class "White" people giving us mean looks and grinning unhappily. Anytime we saw this we just snuggled faces right in front of them smiled and kept it moving. Sad how people can be.
 
MercuryLS said:
Lol, I'm willing to bend on the circumcision one. Names, I'll probably fight for. The Islamic values one is more from just making sure my kids are aware of the positive aspects of the religion. She's ok with them learning about the religion in an environment where she's involved.
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Why the names?

Anyway, this doesn't really sound like a racial thing more so an interpretation of religious involvement. If you're both of the same religion, shouldn't the values thing be taken as read? Where's the disconnect?

MercuryLS said:
True. We're both willing to talk things out and compromise for each other. She took a hard stance only on circumcision, so I backed off. Same thing happened with my sis who married a white guy. The name thing, I think will be ok, I don't want my kids have overly ethnic names anyways. And we're both pretty lax about religion in general, but both want our kids to be exposed to the positives of the religion.
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Ok, still confused here. What's the difference between you and her here?
 
Archer said:
White guy here, dated all colors of the rainbow and married a Persian girl. Great times, and I feel the same. Religion and lack of life experience / education are the big red flags for me.
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Oh yeah lack of life experience. I cant do that anymore. I dont really mind education if the girl is sharp, some people just didnt have opportunities and thats okay.
 
OP, note that having Islamic names will put your kids at a disadvantage in job searches.

It's the sad truth of the world we live in, but it's one you shouldn't overlook.


My first serious girlfriend was Indian. Was never a long term thing because she would never tell her parents.
 
Current girlfriend is of Chinese ancestry. A few questions and curiosities when we first started dating. Plays no meaningful role in our day to day interactions.
 
It sounds like she's bailing on the religion thing and you're trying to double-down OP. Simply because you both line-up when your relationship started doesn't mean you have the same goals in life as far a religion. You should both consider this fact with other aspects you feel strongly about and make a clear decision about what both of you want out of your futures together. If it doesn't line up and you aren't willing to compromise (I mean truly compromise) then you probably shouldn't be together. Don't avoid these topics because they're uncomfortable. Sooner than later; none of that I can win him/her over nonsense.

I still don't always believe this but I heard the best compromises are ones where no one leaves happy but have the feeling they've gained something valuable.
 
Sorry friend, you are doomed.

Honestly, it seems that you are giving into her pressure to have children that are not Muslim. All religions or society's teach a person to be moral upright person. But being Muslim, Jew, Christian, Hindu, Buddist, or athiest have different connotations to it.

Its up to you, if you feel religion is so important and the faith of your children is so important. Why get involved in the first place?

I am saying this because I have a few second or third removed cousins who married Caucasians and their children are either Christian or they don't hold religion so important to themselves so they are culturally both American and Muslim (ie. celebrate Eid).
 
jamesinclair said:
My first serious girlfriend was Indian. Was never a long term thing because she would never tell her parents.
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Yeah, such things are "funny". My girlfriend told her parents after some months that she was dating a non-Indian guy, and they were totally cool with that. Times are changing, at least in the more urban parts of that culture.
 
Ourobolus said:
Why the names?

Anyway, this doesn't really sound like a racial thing more so an interpretation of religious involvement. If you're both of the same religion, shouldn't the values thing be taken as read? Where's the disconnect?



Ok, still confused here. What's the difference between you and her here?
Click to expand...

She's afraid that our kids will become indoctrinated in overly conservative Islamic culture if they're too exposed to it at a young age. Something. I agree with. She wants our kids to learn about the religion but wants to be involved in every step of it. Like religious school, she was like I want to sit in and during the classes while most muslim parents would just drop the kids off.
 
hipbabboom said:
More three-boobed ladies for us right bro?!
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yUzlVaq.gif
 
ElTorro said:
Yeah, such things are "funny". My girlfriend told her parents after some months that she was dating a non-Indian guy, and they were totally cool with that. Times are changing, at least in the more urban parts of that culture.
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I didn't find it funny, I really liked her but knew that in the end she'd dump me to marry an Indian guy.

Good sex though.
 
MercuryLS said:
I'm an Indian male raised in Canada dating a white girl. She's into my culture and has the same religion (we're both quite moderate when it comes to this, but it helps). We have many of the same values and goals in life. But there are a few differences when it comes to the topic of kids. I want my kids to be circumsized, have muslim names and be raised with strong Islamic values. She's taken the opposite stance on all three. It's not the end of the world, but I expected a few things like this before I got involved with her. We'll figure it out I'm sure.

So interracial dating GAF. I'm curious, how has it been?

Also please don't turn this into a cut vs. uncut thread.
Click to expand...

my advice? compromise on the names and let the kids decide on the other two.
 
MercuryLS said:
I'm an Indian male raised in Canada dating a white girl. She's into my culture and has the same religion (we're both quite moderate when it comes to this, but it helps). We have many of the same values and goals in life. But there are a few differences when it comes to the topic of kids. I want my kids to be circumsized, have muslim names and be raised with strong Islamic values. She's taken the opposite stance on all three. It's not the end of the world, but I expected a few things like this before I got involved with her. We'll figure it out I'm sure.

So interracial dating GAF. I'm curious, how has it been?

Also please don't turn this into a cut vs. uncut thread.
Click to expand...

MercuryLS said:
Lol, I'm willing to bend on the circumcision one. Names, I'll probably fight for. The Islamic values one is more from just making sure my kids are aware of the positive aspects of the religion. She's ok with them learning about the religion in an environment where she's involved.
Click to expand...

Good luck with all that! Sounds like a ton of compromise for the both of you...
 
Doesn't sound like it is a racial issue with you guys. I'm a white guy who's dated Filipinas, a couple black girls and currently engaged to an Ecuadorian. Race isn't nearly as important as general outlook on life and compatibility. Having similar values, or at least being able to disagree amicably, is pretty important to keep a harmonious relationship.
 
White dude here. I've dated black, hispanic, white, and am married to a woman who is 1/2 japanese.

I never had issues, really. I did have a 2 week experimental/sexual relationship with a girl from the ghetto. We were polar opposites on goddamn everything but very interested in what it would be like to fuck each other. We met at a gas station as we were pumping gas. She actually approached me. It was pretty crazy in hindsight. We called off the experiment when we realized we had absolutely nothing in common (which was the point) and our curiousity was satisfied. The culture shock was unreal for both of us, but it was fun. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and we both enjoyed the situation while it lasted.

I love all women. Race has never been a barrier. Socioeconomic status is more of a litmus test for a lasting relationship for me, not race.
 
jamesinclair said:
OP, note that having Islamic names will put your kids at a disadvantage in job searches.

It's the sad truth of the world we live in, but it's one you shouldn't overlook.


My first serious girlfriend was Indian. Was never a long term thing because she would never tell her parents.
Click to expand...

That's her issue with it as well. I get it. I'm sure my ethnic name has screwed me out of some opportunities. I'm kinda conflicted on it. I really like our ethnic names, but I don't want to make things harder for my kids.
 
Race/ethnicity doesn't matter when you're dating because, well, if you're dating you're already into each other.

It's that whole religion thing that might be a stumbling block, especially since people have a personal stake in religion.
 
White guy, been with a latino for 8 years. I honestly identufy us more as a gay couple than an interracial couple, but we're obviously both.
 
MercuryLS said:
She's afraid that our kids will become indoctrinated in overly conservative Islamic culture if they're too exposed to it at a young age. She wants our kids to learn about the religion but wants to be involved in every step of it. Like religious school, she was like I want to sit in and during the classes while most muslim parents would just drop the kids off.
Click to expand...

If this is the case. Bring her to a local mosque or mosque you feel comfortable with. Then both of you sit and see how the proceedings goes on how they teach the Holy Quran.

For the other folks here, its Sunday School for Muslims.

If she is not comfortable with it, then you could hire imam to come to your home to teach on how to recite the Holy Quran and do Namaz properly.

Overall, try to get involved with the local mosque and the local mosque events. They do a lot of charity events, which she could find fun, rewarding, and its good community service. That is the case here in NJ with the local mosques in my area.
 
Married a white woman. Mixed race myself.

Religion destroys relationships way faster than race ever would. My wife and I get along great because we're not religious at all, and share the same political (liberal) viewpoint.
 
MercuryLS said:
I'm an Indian male raised in Canada dating a white girl. She's into my culture and has the same religion (we're both quite moderate when it comes to this, but it helps). We have many of the same values and goals in life. But there are a few differences when it comes to the topic of kids. I want my kids to be circumsized, have muslim names and be raised with strong Islamic values]/b]. She's taken the opposite stance on all three. It's not the end of the world, but I expected a few things like this before I got involved with her. We'll figure it out I'm sure.

So interracial dating GAF. I'm curious, how has it been?

Also please don't turn this into a cut vs. uncut thread.
Click to expand...


Huh?


You're both on the moderate side but you are saying the kids must have Muslim names and be raised with strong Islamic values?
 
Not sure why you want to make your children de facto Muslims. You should just make them de facto good people.

Educate them about everything and let them decide.
 
I don't understand the religion thing.

Why not teach your kids about the good in all religions and let them make their own, conscious choice? Won't it make it that much of a stronger bond if the child, after being educated in many religions, then chooses Islam or Christianity or Buddhism?

Not giving a child a choice is the same as forced indoctrination.

Circumcision is the same thing: why force your values on your child? Why not leave the body as nature designed it and let the child make the choice when he or she has the free will to do so?

OT: racial and religious differences are what you make of them. I'm Asian/Atheist and my wife is Polish+Italian/Catholic/Agnostic and we rarely (if ever) end up thinking about race or religion except when discussing how she doesn't tan at all.
 
I'm white. I dated a Vietnamese girl and a Hispanic girl. In both cases, I took a lot of shit from males of their race. Dirty looks and passive aggressive comments. Makes it hard and almost not worth it.
 
MercuryLS said:
I'm an Indian male raised in Canada dating a white girl. She's into my culture and has the same religion (we're both quite moderate when it comes to this, but it helps). We have many of the same values and goals in life. But there are a few differences when it comes to the topic of kids. I want my kids to be circumsized, have muslim names and be raised with strong Islamic values. She's taken the opposite stance on all three. It's not the end of the world, but I expected a few things like this before I got involved with her. We'll figure it out I'm sure.

So interracial dating GAF. I'm curious, how has it been?

Also please don't turn this into a cut vs. uncut thread.
Click to expand...

Why do you want to genitally mutilate your son?

It's no wonder she's against the idea.

What are "strong Islamic values"?

How do they differ from the values you can expect from any responsible, functioning member of society?
 
Over the past 10 years since I moved back to Boston, I've dated Irish, Peruvian, Italian, Korean, Chinese, Russian, Jewish. Before that I was exclusively into black women. The only universal truth is that it's all the same when the lights go out. Parents almost universally love me because I'm a "nice guy" and into biology. My ex (the aforementioned half Italian) and I dated for nearly 5 years, and the biggest cultural gripes we had were that she likes country music (I don't) and she wants to raise her kids Catholic (I don't really care either way).

Now that I'm single I've been mostly dating through Tinder and randoms I meet at bars, and the vast majority have been white. No Asians or Indians have matched with me at all, which is a shame as I find both very attractive. Only one of the girls I've clicked with has been black, and I must say she's pretty damn sexy.

So yeah, country music. That's my big hang-up. Other than that, do whatever feels good man.
 
ElTorro said:
I (European) have been with an Indian girl for quite some time, and I never had issues related to ethnicity. My guess is that your "problem" is not race, it's religious views. /edit: To elaborate on that, we both are atheists, so that certainly helped. I personally can't imagine myself dating somebody seriously who's world view is irrational to me. Of course, I tolerate and respect religious people, but to live a life together seriously, the core world views should be compatible, especially when you're planing to have children.
Click to expand...

I see some discontinuity here.
 
As for the names, try for names that sound English when pronounced.

Ie.
Shaan = Sean
Jaan = Jon
Zain = Zane
Jameel


Although Muslim names should not be a huge issue. Its up to you.
 
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