SillyEskimo
Member
This x1000
Interracial dating GAF. Post your experiences.
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The Everyman
this is how i see it too.
Good advice. Thanks. She has a lot of exposure to the religion, to Muslims and going to mosques. Her experiences have been both good and bad. She just wants our kids to be balanced, so do I. So I think it will ultimately be a non issue.
It's perfectly consistent, even morally obligatory, to respect people even though you don't respect some of their believes. Both are not the same, and the world would be much peaceful if more people realized that.
It's never really been an issue. I've been with girls who are ethnically Jamaican, Guyanese, and Trinidadian. Well, there was one Jamaican girl's uncle who threatened me with a machete in high school, but I think that had more to do with me having a penis than being Hispanic.
Blue people need love too.
Ive dated girls who were born here, with different ancestry, barely any difference, whether Italian, Indian or Brazilian. They more or less behaved the way girls here behave. They liked the same things, had similar values and their cultural background had little to no influence on them. In my cases the girls loved to parade around their supposed connection to their "old country" but lacked even the most basic knowledge of their heritage, nor did they really care that much. It almost seemed like a gimmick for them to portray themselves as Italian or Brazilian just to seem slightly different.
Then i dated a actual Italian girl and a Croatian girl, both born and raised in their respective countries, and that is a completely different experience. The expectations of me from the women and their families were vastly different. Just the very way the relationships were done were different. Less casual get-togethers and more actual dates.
Then i dated a actual Italian girl and a Croatian girl, both born and raised in their respective countries, and that is a completely different experience. The expectations of me from the women and their families were vastly different. Just the very way the relationships were done were different. Less casual get-togethers and more actual dates.
Nemesis121
Member
I don't have a race lol I am mixed 3 ways White, Black, and Indian, I am attracted to mix women, but I have dated a few Russians, while the women themselves were open minded beautiful human beings, their families were racist scumbags..
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The Everyman
what's the definition of a muslim name anyway? names mentioned in the quran? names that are popular is muslim nations? can you make a name up and then 'claim' it as a muslim name?
shaan is a muslim name but sean isnt? does it just come down to spelling?
hipbabboom
Huh? What did I say? Did I screw up again? :(
And here I thought it was irresponsible people unwilling to talk about what's important to them before getting married.
user8503492
Banned
Dated white and spanish only, black chicks dont give me the time of day 
I can't imagine your kids having a balanced and healthy view on your or other religions if you give them Muslim names, circumcise them and raise them with strong Islamic values.
Also your dating problem sounds more like an interreligious problem than an interracial one.
Black/white pairings have been "well worn" in society yet those pairings don't seem to enjoy the same seamlessness.
I'm black. I've dated mostly white women. While I haven't really ever experienced any serious issues from time to time I'd catch heat from black women though. Indian girl I dated I had to distance myself from because she felt indebted to her parents and didn't want to offend them by being with a non Indian.
block tower
Member
why would you force religion on your kids? also the name thing should match the kids ethnicity and be a reflection of both your lineage, not just yours. if your kids would have Indian last names, maybe it's a good compromise to decide on fitting European first names.
Asian/Hispanic guy here (Japanese/Guatemalan, to be specific). I'm currently dating a white girl. Honestly on my end there's no friction at all. One time, before we were together for long her grandmom asked "whatever happened to that nice white boy she was dating.." That's the only tension that there's ever been, and her GMA is in love with me now anyways, so no harm no foul.
On her side, sometimes Asian girls give her dirty looks, but it's really only every once in a while. My hispanic side doesn't really show that much, so no issues with hispanic girls.
On her side, sometimes Asian girls give her dirty looks, but it's really only every once in a while. My hispanic side doesn't really show that much, so no issues with hispanic girls.
Go_Ly_Dow
Member
jufonuk
not tag worthy
I'm married to a French-Chinese lady, white male here .
We are different religions but I am not really a practicing catholic .
Love the culture differences ,her out look on life and the French style and also she is an amazing cool and has the sexiest accent.
my ex is Greek Cypriot but born in the UK, we have a child.
Only issue with my ex was the domineering father.
We are different religions but I am not really a practicing catholic .
Love the culture differences ,her out look on life and the French style and also she is an amazing cool and has the sexiest accent.
my ex is Greek Cypriot but born in the UK, we have a child.
Only issue with my ex was the domineering father.
SniperHunter
Banned
I am Indian as well and I simply can't see myself with an Indian girl under any circumstances. They are all vegetarians and I despise vegetarians! I am also agnostic and I don't care about religion at all, while most indian girls do...
And the funny thing is, Indian girls never attracted to me ever. I never looked Indian...kinda sad though
And the funny thing is, Indian girls never attracted to me ever. I never looked Indian...kinda sad though
My wife is from Hong Kong. The biggest hurdle is her parents. They treat me fine, they like me, but they treat her like shit. It is partially them just being assholes, and part cultural. And it is a completely toxic relationship, and now that we have kids we don't have much to do with them.
LittleBoots
Member
I'm half Chinese and half white, born and raised here in the US. I've only ever dated white men. As much as my father would probably like me to date a Chinese man, he can't really say anything because he married a white woman. It was a lot more controversial back then for my parents to be in a relationship. Thankfully, both families were accepting of it. My Chinese grandmother was especially happy about it because she saw my mother as a way to help him integrate successfully into American culture.
That being said, interracial couples do have to deal with culture differences that are sometimes pretty hard to overcome. Since I'm the first generation to be raised here in the US, I'm more culturally American. Thus I haven't run into many problems in this area with my significant others. But I say that if two people are compatible enough, love each other enough, and have the motivation to work things out, then it's possible to make it work.
That being said, interracial couples do have to deal with culture differences that are sometimes pretty hard to overcome. Since I'm the first generation to be raised here in the US, I'm more culturally American. Thus I haven't run into many problems in this area with my significant others. But I say that if two people are compatible enough, love each other enough, and have the motivation to work things out, then it's possible to make it work.
My dad is from Hong Kong too. He's the only one out of seven other brothers and sisters that chose to marry a white person. They've treated my mother fine, but I notice that everything seems like such a contest between relatives. My aunt and uncles will compare children and their accomplishments to decide with one is best, which is the smartest, and which is the most beautiful. My grandparents treated my aunts like shit too. The daughters were never looked upon as valuable in any way. And neither of them treated their daughters with much respect. On my grandmother's deathbed, one of my aunts was always by her side. She did everything for her mom. Then she got absolutely nothing in the will when her mom died. It was a total slap in the face. Everything was given to the eldest son.
Muslim names are names found in the Holy Quran and/or great people in Islam.
Yeah those names are just different spelling of names.
For example:
my friends and cousins with Engish sounding names but consider Muslim names:
Sabrina
Sonia
Omar
Amina
Saba
ginger ninja
Banned
I am brown like OP here and i live in NYC..there is no hope for me dating a white girl is there : /
those okc stats for brown guys were pretty bad and demotivating
those okc stats for brown guys were pretty bad and demotivating
Mohonky
Member
Are you sure about that?
It seems like its only a non-issue if the kids get Muslim names and raised to be Muslim.
If she decided the kids wouldn't have Muslim names and wouldn't have to attend a Muslim centric education? Then what?
As some one mentioned earlier, why do the kids needs to be indoctrinated into any religion, why can't they be taught the positives of any religion and let them decide if they want to be a part of any religion themselves?
I don't think raising your kid in a religion is the same as "indoctrinating" them. My parents raised me Catholic, and going to church was a family thing, but there wan't any "if you don't marry a good Catholic girl and settle down I'll disinherit you" stuff. They freely and frankly talked about the issues they had with the Church as well.
Children can't make any sort of informed choice on their own. The best you can do is try and give them the tools that when they grow up they can make those kinds of choices. But I don't see bringing them up one religion or another as incompatible with that last sentiment.
This is a little off-track but to the OP's point I do think it's a lot less about race and a lot more about *culture*. Witness all the comments from blacks about how they get offended when someone says they don't "act black". It's far less about skin color than its is education, religion, values but the culture and the skin color often get conflated.
Is it really tough for Indian guys to date white women?
Black and Hispanic guys pick up white women with little problem.
It's somewhat depressing to hear how many of you had issues with your partner's parents just because of race/culture. Of course, people generally prefer the predictability that comes with the sharing of the same culture. Nevertheless, people should be judged as individuals, not as cultural stereotypes.
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The Everyman
Ah, I see. Thanks.
CharlieDigital
Banned
Think about why you are Catholic for a moment.
Why are you not Buddhist? Why not Mormon? Why not Hindu? It's just happenstance that you were born into a Catholic family; there is no free-will involved in your selection of your belief system. You have not picked your god; your parents have picked your god for you.
You may argue "Well, I've chosen to stay Catholic." But is that an actual choice? Or one of convenience or intellectual laziness?
The point is that I strongly believe that I have a responsibility to instill certain basic character qualities and basic human morals upon my daughter, but religion is something I have made a conscious choice to let her find on her own. I will teach her about Islam, about Buddhism, about Christianity -- we will wiki and study and discuss and, if at the end of that journey she decides that she wants to be X, that is her choice made of her own free will to worship a god as she chooses instead of one that I have chosen for her.
kerotan_eater
Banned
Plenty of good people who were brought up on one religion. The point is that it isn't better by teaching them/labelling them as apart of one religious group.
Just teach them about the values of all religion and the critical thought of non-religion and they should be fine in figuring out the rest before they are 21.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
I have an Indian friend who used to pick up white women all the time when he lived in the states, who then moved to South Africa where he dated a German model for a few years before moving back to India for an arranged marriage. I mean, he is/was good looking and successful and living in the liberal capital of the northeast, but still...it's possible.
Didn't you just make a thread asking about kinky sex advice? You want strong muslim values but don't adhere to them yourself?
Anyway, keep an open mind. You are in a relationship so you'll have to make some sacrifices if you want it to work out. Talk to her when it comes up and work on getting to the 50-50 point which works for both of you.
Anyway, keep an open mind. You are in a relationship so you'll have to make some sacrifices if you want it to work out. Talk to her when it comes up and work on getting to the 50-50 point which works for both of you.
soul creator
Member
Religions (particularly, the big traditional monotheistic ones) are all about being part of the in-group. "Forcing" your kid into your religion is a feature, not a bug. Parents often raise their kids with their own values, and lots of parents (and people in general) have been taught from birth that "my religious beliefs = my values".
And parents don't want their kids to go to hell, or be considered outcasts in their own society, after all. Of course, there are thankfully more progressive folks nowadays
who were coincidentally raised in a more secular environment, shock and awe
block tower
Member
i'm Czech(euro)/African American, my girlfriend of two years is German(euro)/African American. been with chinese, indian, and european girls in the past. fairly indifferent about who i date, but i'm most comfortable in the relationship i am now if were speaking solely in terms of ethnicity.
I'm Caucasian and my wife is Asian (Japanese). Race has never been an issue for us and there's never been a problem with either one of our families. Culture is a different story, though, LOL. but even that is mostly just little things that aren't initially understood. That comes with dating/marrying anyone from another culture. I think it's been easy for us because both of us are not religious. There are some mildly-religious people on my side of the family but nobody has ever said anything about it. We're Jewish and actually in addition to myself, my brother and my older cousin married non-Jewish girls as well. Never been a problem at family gatherings.
You're operating from a flawed assumption about my statement: I wouldn't identify myself as either Catholic or religious. Me defending the right of parents to make decisions for their children when they are unable to make those decisions themselves doesn't require me to agree with any of those decisions.
Your perception that you will be totally unbiased and not influencing your kid's development in that regard is cute, if highly unlikely.
I'd say there's a difference between "I don't agree with your beliefs" and "I think you're irrational for those beliefs", personally.
That's a serious problem. Someone asked me once if I don't believe in morality after I told her that I am an atheist. The issue of religion would be less toxic if it was reduced to it's metaphysical truth claims, instead of wrongly claiming to be synonymous with ethics and living a good life. Of course, many religions cannot be decoupled from that claim, which makes them seriously toxic to any relationship in which one person disagrees.
JJDinomite
Banned
My first girlfriend was Mexican-American. We dated in 6th grade though, so my advice probably wouldn't help :\
Apeopleman
Member
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
I've dated Indian girls and I've found it to be mostly the same as dating within your own race - I've had less similar values with most white girls that I know, for example. One of the biggest issues is family, and I have no answer for how that can be overcome, unfortunately.
jufonuk
not tag worthy
My wife is Muslim, we decided to raise any kids we have with no religion zreligion but out of respect hey eat halal meat and no pork, I am fine with that , when we started going out we decided no one is going to convert or force the other , I have no qualms eating halal at all.
I don't think a child needs to make those decisions at any point in time, nor does anybody need to make them for them either. Religion is not something vital to your development as a human, it can wait until you're old enough to choose to be religious if you want to be.
Not all Indian families are against interracial dating/marriage. Mine isn't for example. It really depends. The majority will have issues with it unfortunately, which is a shame.
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The Everyman
most people here seem to be suggesting that you teach the kids all religions if you're going to teach them any at all. that seems like a better balance than teaching them just one. teaching them just one implies that that there is the one true religion. which is disingenuous. kids see there parents as all knowing, so whatever religion you teach them is going to be the one that they think is right. you might as well teach all or none of them if you want them to be free thinking.
if youre just focused on teaching them good values then i would suggest not going with any religion or making your own up which relects exactly the values you want to teach.
or you could heavily augment an existing religion. like teach them christianity/islam but without masturbation or sex before marriage being a sin. if anyone 'corrects' your childs beliefs just say theyre wrong.
Nietzsche said it well: speak of your faith, act on your instincts.
Dating someone and tolerating a random person are very discontinuous things
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