umop_3pisdn
Member
I think I've changed my mind on book burning.
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21st Cenutry Holy Bible. A draft-esque alpha version
- Thread starter Ntsouls
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The Artful Dodger
Member
lmao
No. You need to meet some new people.
This video slayed me.
Aquamarine
Member
Wait...how old are you?
uncleniccius
Member
Colonel Sponsz
Neo Member
I don't think it matters, because there's no generation where the majority speak like that.
The Smoking Bun
Banned
Well to be fair, in DC's Hellblazer series God is an infantile man child that sucks on his thumb while sleeping in a corner and constantly cries & moans incoherently.
But that's fucking HELLBLAZER
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
The only thing worse than an unfunny person is a piece of shit unfunny person.
Spider from Mars
tap that thorax
Is this performance art?
If so, you are brilliant
If so, you are brilliant
Also pretty sure that Hellblazer is making fun of God.
OP you know nothing about writing "racy and shocking" humor. Just writing a lot of bad words and joking about offensive stereotypes is not funny in itself. Shows like South Park and Its always Sunny are funny because they have funny and offensive character saying these things, not just an unfunny narrator who has no reasons for saying these things. There is no context or reason why you're writing a bunch of "funny" and random words. Plus, these shows are much better written and much more clever. Do not act like your writing is even close to something like the Book of Mormon.
I think its funny. Its not racist at all.
The Smoking Bun
Banned
He actually uses the word "negro"? Like really?
That is beyond offensive OP, nobody uses that word unless you're a dirty chav or something
You used the word negro. That word is racist, it represents hundreds of years of slavery and oppression in an era where black people were considered little more than animals!! Are you really that dim?
Spider from Mars
tap that thorax
You just don't understand humor
tell us some more jokes that aren't racist
Saying that doesn't make it not racist. That's not how racism works.
It's incredibly racist. Here's the thing, you're trying to sell a book. It's great that you think it's funny. No one else does, except your friends, who are not going to give honest criticism.
I wouldn't take a print out of this to use as toilet paper if it was the only thing someone was willing to hand me. I would just not wipe rather than allow this to touch my body in some capacity beyond what has already occurred. I love offensive humor. Jimmy Carr is one of my favorite comedians. This is unequivocal tripe. Seriously. Read the comments again. Digest them. Stop wasting precious kilobytes on the internet.
STAHP, FULL STOP. Seriously. I'm starting to seriously wonder if you're just trolling us.
Baron von Loathsome
Member
Oh boy.
He already said he doesn't hate people, so how could writing a bunch of racist garbage possibly be racist?
It kind of is. To write well done race related jokes you need appropriate context and good delivery. You have neither. They're not even jokes, just a stream of random bullshit hoping one of the words you randomly toss at the screen will somehow just be funny. It reads like a 9th grader wrote it.
wsoxfan1214
Banned
what the fuck did i just read
EmCeeGramr
Member
the internet has taught me that as long as you say "i'm not racist/sexist/etc." before saying something racist/sexist/etc. then it doesn't count
Khalifa Jayy
Banned
Is the OP about to get himself banned? Parody or not, some of the crap I'm reading in this "project" is shameful.
With all due respect... (proceeds to disrespect you)
I'm not homophobic but... (says something anti-gay).
No kidding. It's like preemptively apologizing. And still going through with your words and actions. Pathetic.
With all due respect... (proceeds to disrespect you)
I'm not homophobic but... (says something anti-gay).
No kidding. It's like preemptively apologizing. And still going through with your words and actions. Pathetic.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
I know it's only an early draft, but the material contained within is not at all why South Park is funny and why Family Guy is (was) funny. You are using offensive and juvenile shock language with no rhyme or reason. It's shock for the sake of shock, and in this day and age, it is no longer shocking nor original.
You are cribbing way too closely to the South Park material from which this is probably inspired from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3cGtaFei0w
You need to take a look at the context of your passage and that South Park episode to see why South Park works, and yours does not.
You are cribbing way too closely to the South Park material from which this is probably inspired from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3cGtaFei0w
You need to take a look at the context of your passage and that South Park episode to see why South Park works, and yours does not.
No spoilers pls
AlexMeloche
Member
It's not funny. It's fucking racist.
Aquamarine
Member
It really does remind me of the sort of stuff my friend and I would write as little kids, that basically just used every dirty word and concept we knew, randomly mashed together, because the act of using transgressive language was itself funny. Because we were ten and you didn't need actual humor at ten to find the words shit and poop and penis and dildo funny. Except we weren't quite so racist.
OP, you know that you have to be at least thirteen to post on GAF, right?
OP, you know that you have to be at least thirteen to post on GAF, right?
Crash Station
Member
On one hand, this makes me feel better about my own writing. On the other, I know what (rightful) harsh criticism is like and that stuff sure can sting.
Ntsouls, you clearly have drive, which is always impressive. However, this needs A LOT of work unless you're going after a really juvenile audience along the lines of the early Pewdiepie fanbase. Even then, trying to get people to actually read it will be a massive challenge, and that's probably an understatement.
I'd say educate yourself more on how to write before even considering the content. Maybe try your hand at other genres, because comedy is VERY hard to do outside of audio/visual mediums.
Ntsouls, you clearly have drive, which is always impressive. However, this needs A LOT of work unless you're going after a really juvenile audience along the lines of the early Pewdiepie fanbase. Even then, trying to get people to actually read it will be a massive challenge, and that's probably an understatement.
I'd say educate yourself more on how to write before even considering the content. Maybe try your hand at other genres, because comedy is VERY hard to do outside of audio/visual mediums.
Again. If you say something is racist/sexist. Then it must be.
Thats a reference.
How many people said what you are all saying about Family Guy or South Park when they began?
Broder Salsa
Banned
Can I donate anywhere? I would love to see this get published.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
I guess that's where the South Park homage was coming from, after all.
http://southpark.cc.com/full-episodes/s14e02-the-tale-of-scrotie-mcboogerballs
GungHo
Single-handedly caused Exxon-Mobil to sue FOX, start World War 3
Some of his best friends are humorists.
Ya know, this thread brings back memories of 9th grade when my classmates decided to do a dramatic re-reading of Shakespeare's Julius Caesar in "gangsta".
You pretty much copied that scene completely but just made it unfunny. And again, you obviously have no clue what makes those shows funny.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
This argument is brilliant. I should have been using this all along.
"Well, if you say so" and then spend a genuine 0 seconds reflecting on anything about myself.
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