EmCeeGramr
Member
see it's not racist to joke about jews running all the banks and being murdered in the holocaust it's
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21st Cenutry Holy Bible. A draft-esque alpha version
- Thread starter Ntsouls
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It's obvious that you are only hearing what you want to hear. This is the point where I would pin you to the ground and slap you over and over again to try to get sense into your brain.
Khalifa Jayy
Banned
lololol cyan pls!
Yep. Not racist at all.
Maybe he asked for opinions so that he can dismiss them handily.
The Artful Dodger
Member
I'm excited to see the Tag some mod hits him with.
Murder. She Wrote
Member
OP I hope your 13 because if you're older... then I feel bad for your parents 
Aquamarine
Member
"Racism is not racist because I think it's funny"
Elwood Blues
Member
The part with Adam and Eve eating the from the tree of knowledge of good and evil involved a little too much fruit being shoved up anus for my tastes. I'd look into punching that part up a little bit.
I'm thinking this is the product of one of three things:
- OP is actually severely autistic and we're turds for busting his balls
- OP has created this thread in a sneaky attempt to get into the GAF hall of fame thread, and may succeed. Unfunny book is actually a lie.
- OP has been hurting for attention, and felt like trolling GAF just for shits and giggles. Unfunny book is a lie.
- OP is actually severely autistic and we're turds for busting his balls
- OP has created this thread in a sneaky attempt to get into the GAF hall of fame thread, and may succeed. Unfunny book is actually a lie.
- OP has been hurting for attention, and felt like trolling GAF just for shits and giggles. Unfunny book is a lie.
Banned
This is basically what's going on here. The OP sees transgressive humor on South Park and Family Guy, thinks that the funny part must be just the transgressiveness since that's what's most obvious about it, and then tries to copy it.
This happens a lot with "random" humor as well. People see random humor where the most obvious thing about it is that it's "random," then they say "random" things and think it'll be funny. Yes, the randomness is part of what makes it funny, but you need more than just that.
Aaron-Lagann
Banned
The difference is that those two tell jokes at least, Family Guy, maybe less so, but there's still some semblance of comedic sense there. You barely feel like you're telling jokes, and more like you're just making really offensive analogies every few seconds, which aren't inherently humorous.
When I was at primary school me and my friends would "play South Park". It had nothing to do with impersonating the characters or anything like that. We just said swear words. And then giggled. And said more swear words.
The problem is my eight year-old self didn't have any expendable income to buy your book, OP.
soul creator
Member
If I wanted to read a misogynistic, homophobic, and overall "offensive to modern sensibilities" version of the bible, I can just read the actual Old Testament
If you say something is not racist/sexist then it mustn't be!
Ha yeah maybe.
I'm going to kickstart it again after I get some flyers to pass out at Unis and churches.
No. I don't say that. I usually say how its rough and needs word.
You misunderstand.
CHEEZMO;122633614 said:
Advice is good.
That would be funny.
Veritigo_X
Member
You've already posted this to a Christian forum and didn't get a good response, why do you think going to an actual CHURCH will fare any better?
Buddha Beam
Banned
I don't find this funny at all. If you're really, truly hell bent on doing this, at least read Douglas Adams and use that for inspiration. Not... Seth McFarlane and low brow humor that borders on racist.
Collete
Member
I was silent on GAF for some time, but this makes me break my silence....And not in a good way.
A lot of this has nothing to do whether it's your humor or not, OP.
If you're trying to poke fun at religion, there are immensely better ways to go at it. You are out right shaming it and not giving the Bible any respect it deserves. The racism and language is just beyond vulgar.
Imagine if you done this to the Quran? GAF will have mauled you alive, figuratively.
The problem isn't that there a few sections that need to be taken off, commas added, or rewording that you can fix in another draft, the whole entire idea of what you're going for is the problem.
And just because people watch horrible shows and consume questionable or bad media, doesn't mean you have to make something for that market. Make the world a better place and make something that might benefit and be unique, in a good way. Don't market things that continue to feed off the bad.
Also thank you, you make me feel better about the novel I have written.
Edit: One more thing, at least I listen to criticism and if something is wrong with my novel I will either fix it or rewrite the novel entirely, not because I'm a suck up to the critics, but I trust the words of other people looking at it that see the fault I can't. It's hard to delete something you put 90+ pages of effort into, believe me, I know, but if you don't admit fault to a writing and delete it and consider what you did wrong, you will not progress in the writing world. "Hog tie your darlings." Because that's what a true writer actually does.
A lot of this has nothing to do whether it's your humor or not, OP.
If you're trying to poke fun at religion, there are immensely better ways to go at it. You are out right shaming it and not giving the Bible any respect it deserves. The racism and language is just beyond vulgar.
Imagine if you done this to the Quran? GAF will have mauled you alive, figuratively.
Though I suppose that's a conversation for another time.
The problem isn't that there a few sections that need to be taken off, commas added, or rewording that you can fix in another draft, the whole entire idea of what you're going for is the problem.
And just because people watch horrible shows and consume questionable or bad media, doesn't mean you have to make something for that market. Make the world a better place and make something that might benefit and be unique, in a good way. Don't market things that continue to feed off the bad.
Also thank you, you make me feel better about the novel I have written.
Edit: One more thing, at least I listen to criticism and if something is wrong with my novel I will either fix it or rewrite the novel entirely, not because I'm a suck up to the critics, but I trust the words of other people looking at it that see the fault I can't. It's hard to delete something you put 90+ pages of effort into, believe me, I know, but if you don't admit fault to a writing and delete it and consider what you did wrong, you will not progress in the writing world. "Hog tie your darlings." Because that's what a true writer actually does.
The Artful Dodger
Member
Lol, I just linked a friend to this and told her, don't worry, at least you're better than this guy.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
*completely dismisses any received*
freenudemacusers
Member
observational comedy?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
My favorite part of this is that "it's not racist" as well as this entire text is linked to his real name.
Blood Red Sky
Banned
Just because you say that him saying something isn't racist/sexist means it mustn't be, that doesn't mean it is.
The more I read, the funnier it gets. It's nearing the Room level of delusion and complete lack of sense.
I can NOT stop laughing.
Perhaps my sense of humor is immature. But I listen to people like Ricky Gervais and watch South Park and Family Guy.
People bash on them. But fk it.
I like it. I'm sure I'll find a couple people who like the book. And that's all I care about.
CHEEZMO
Obsidian fan
My friend and I got caught passing a script around. We used to write TV shows and commercials during class. Anyway, this one was a D&D themed show, except it was all about +1 Dildoes of Embiggening and Harpy Snatch Potions, and it starred all the people in our class, in really unattractive ways. We got called into the principal's office and had to explain every line of it. By the end we were laughing so hard they called our parents.
I think all young writers start off by ripping off the people they like, without understanding what it is we like about those people, and that's fine. But you don't show that shit to the public. I think every writer would probably be better if they just threw away their first five hundred thousand words. By then you probably have begun to really understand what you're doing.
OP, is this the first thing of any length you've ever written? It is, isn't it?
Don't you dare drag the good name of Gervais to your unfunny level, bro.
Broder Salsa
Banned
Good idea. If you send a pdf or something I will print out a few thousand to hand out at my local church too.
XANDER CAGE
Member
Don't do what Donny Don't does.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
The link is to a PDF file. I think you can just DL it.
You get him to condemn this and I'll will give it up now.
Broder Salsa
Banned
You found exactly that.
Maybe I'm rich.
The Artful Dodger
Member
You found exactly that.
I'd say it's probably his Mom + Dad but I doubt they would even support it.
The Awesomest
Member
OP, I think your problem here, and I think you've realized this, is that we just aren't the right audience for this. The average GAFfer/Kickstarter backer/churchgoer/atheist isn't going to go for this type of humor. Fortunately, my line of work puts me in direct contact with what I feel would be the most receptive audience for this type of comedy.
See, I work at a middle school, and I notice that they often laugh at things like vomit and diarrhea and anything that could be offensive to adult sensibilities - kind of like how your work has been perceived by the people in this thread. Unfortunately, it's pretty much just the boys. And it's only a few of them. Still, though, the audience is there. The audience is receptive. You just need to finish this before they grow out of this style of humor
EDIT
OP. This is going into severe cringe territory. Please stop this foolishness before you further embarrass me and many others in this thread by proxy.
See, I work at a middle school, and I notice that they often laugh at things like vomit and diarrhea and anything that could be offensive to adult sensibilities - kind of like how your work has been perceived by the people in this thread. Unfortunately, it's pretty much just the boys. And it's only a few of them. Still, though, the audience is there. The audience is receptive. You just need to finish this before they grow out of this style of humor
EDIT
OP. This is going into severe cringe territory. Please stop this foolishness before you further embarrass me and many others in this thread by proxy.
He told me he is really impressed by your work and to keep it up.
Even there he doesn't take any criticism and did I read it correctly? He's planning on FIVE books using this...."humor?" Wow
Buddha Beam
Banned
He's on Twitter, send him a link.
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