Harassment is not about just looking...where are you getting this?
Interesting video on street harrassment
- Thread starter Bleepey
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Harassment is not about just looking...where are you getting this?
Maybe it's that.
I did have a coworker pull that shit he cat called out to a woman across the street and turned to be looking like he wanted some sort of "way to go!" I just glared at him. It never happened again (at least not around me). I think that's what needs to happen more guys just being like "Dude, don't be dumb."
Of course, thinking back about it I did have to fire that guy for inappropriate behavior. So....
Who are you talking to?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
You had it, then you dropped the ball.
Lol. It must suck to be so persecuted.
I remember backpacking across Europe around 2003 with a woman friend of mine. Her descriptions of how it was when she was just with her girlfriends when studying abroad and how different it was with me there (an entirely unintimidating figure) is kind of scary.
I would hate to have to deal with sexual remarks all the time from strangers. Being a woman sounds hard.
User 100115
Banned
I am glad people are starting to realize this shit needs to stop.
Devolution
Member
Really blows when you just want to get to work or get home and some dude just has to be a fucking shitbucket.
Never actually catcalled ever, never understood it.
Aren't there some groups that want law enforcement to take action on this. Seems a bit much imo,but I'm a guy so my opinion doesnt matter much.
All I'm going to say to the guys are just do what you have to do (whether it be your job, going somewhere) and stop the catcalling. Not worth the trouble imo, and it's clear people don't enjoy it.
Aren't there some groups that want law enforcement to take action on this. Seems a bit much imo,but I'm a guy so my opinion doesnt matter much.
All I'm going to say to the guys are just do what you have to do (whether it be your job, going somewhere) and stop the catcalling. Not worth the trouble imo, and it's clear people don't enjoy it.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Anecdotally speaking, none of my friends do this, and as far as I know, none of their friends, or their friends' friends do this (at least in my presence).
Am I just lucky to not be surrounded by hordes of assholes?
Am I just lucky to not be surrounded by hordes of assholes?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Yeah. No one I've ever known does it, but I've dealt with it in-person while with some girlfriends.
I have a friend who catcalls girls when he's drunk. I really hate it when he's invited out. He's sexually frustrated because we believe he's been with 1 girl but pretends he's been with more. I think he thinks it's cool so that's why he does it. Or he's a legit shithead. I never personally hang out with him. He's very creepy to just be around.
In the video where the girl filmed herself walking around being harassed, one of the instances showed her walking past a guy, and him turning around to check her out. That is similar to something I would do (although I'd be a bit more discrete about it). Since these girls were considering that harrassment, I would fall in that category.
If you're with him when he does it again, call him out. Very few harassers actually think they're causing harm, except for those who actually rape or abuse women. From online testimonials I've seen by harassers, many of them either think that if they shout "Wanna fuck?" a woman might say yes, and many others think that "Nice dress!" or "Look at that ass!" is a complement.
I saw a self-professed catcaller on Reddit adamantly insist that catcalling is a great and normal way to meet women. He claimed that he got laid twice from shouting things at women, and because of that he was absolutely convinced that most women appreciate catcalls.
Unless you call out harassers for their behavior, they'll think it's normal, or just "something guys do". I doubt guys will stop unless other guys convince them that it isn't okay.
shadowsdarknes
Member
When my girlfriend goes out and has to walk down the busy street where's theres dozens of bars and hundreds of drunk people, she sometimes has to walk alone when she parts ways from her friends to go home. When she does, she often calls me because it terrifies her to have drunk men making cat calls and obnoxious remarks.
If she's on the phone with me, she either doesn't hear them or the comments for the most part stop because people clearly see she's on the phone and won't be listening to strangers. Also if something were to happen, I'd be able to tell if something is wrong.
And I just walk down the street after the bars let out with hundreds of drunk people roaming and I feel fine.
If she's on the phone with me, she either doesn't hear them or the comments for the most part stop because people clearly see she's on the phone and won't be listening to strangers. Also if something were to happen, I'd be able to tell if something is wrong.
And I just walk down the street after the bars let out with hundreds of drunk people roaming and I feel fine.
Baron Doggystyle von Woof
Member
I was with jogging with a friend once and that guy is completly ripped. Women were doing exactly the same as men do to sexy women.
One time we were having a drink outside in our tank tops. And the women sitting next to us just litteraly said they would fuck him.
Women are the same to hot guys. Long live equality. However I do think its way worse for women at this point in time.
One time we were having a drink outside in our tank tops. And the women sitting next to us just litteraly said they would fuck him.
Women are the same to hot guys. Long live equality. However I do think its way worse for women at this point in time.
Oh we do, then we basically leave him. He just has his circle of friends who allow it so he probably thinks it's OK.
eh if you honestly think not a single women enjoys getting checked out then your delusional. And yes usually it is the girl with the "skirt" so short that her ass cheeks are showing.
I can easily think of a few instances where I'm on the bus and a girl gets on with extremely revealing clothing and everyone's heads turn. Even the older women are looking at her but with a look of shock usually.
There are people who enjoy attention. Guys are the same. Nothing really wrong with it as long as it doesn't go far.
I can easily think of a few instances where I'm on the bus and a girl gets on with extremely revealing clothing and everyone's heads turn. Even the older women are looking at her but with a look of shock usually.
There are people who enjoy attention. Guys are the same. Nothing really wrong with it as long as it doesn't go far.
Looking at a woman and shouting at her are not the same thing.
Astrolad's been out of the game too long. No one remembers his areas of expertise.
Forever one the best trolls on gaf.
I'm really sorry that happened to you. Nobody should have to be subject to that.
grap3fruitman
Banned
I'm afraid to be around any women anymore for fear that my sheer presence makes them uncomfortable. I find myself turning my head in the opposite direction in public places like at the gym to try and avoid them. I still feel guilty when I see these kinds of videos, blogs and everything come up even though I'm trying my hardest to avoid it.
Recently while I was sitting in a train carriage that was nearly empty, a man decided to sit right next to me, spread his legs out as far as possible, and sway slightly from side to side, invading as much as my personal space as much as he could without being obvious about it. :/ It was quite deliberate (since there were so many other empty seats) and incredibly annoying, and I was on the verge of having a sharp word with him; thankfully he got off at the next stop.
(Since it's been brought up, even if someone's wearing revealing clothing that's still not an excuse to ogle. It's pretty gross behaviour).
(Since it's been brought up, even if someone's wearing revealing clothing that's still not an excuse to ogle. It's pretty gross behaviour).
ReignofSparrows
Member
Seriously just don't be a creep, and you are completely fine. All that means is that you shouldn't ogle, and you shouldn't catcall. If you want to seem pleasant, give a genuine smile and don't ask for one in return. Women exist, and they don't need you to pretend like they don't.
I took a gender class in college a few years back that was about 95% women, and we watched a similar video on street harassment. It was very sad, and after it ended the class was silent for a bit. Then the professor asked us what we thought and some guy raised his hand and just said "Nah, women like being talked to like that. It's a compliment." And you could just feel the anger from everyone in that classroom as he tried to defend his position.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Even when in the company of female friends/coworkers/associates (most of whom range from good looking to hot), I haven't seen or heard anyone do this to them.
Yeah, that wasn't easy to watch. If I was walking down the street with my sister or female friends and that happened to them, I'd definitely like to think I'll let my voice be heard.
I almost want to ask my very close friend if she's experienced any of these things while studying here in Australia, but I'm a bit reluctant if it will bring back any bad memories...
I almost want to ask my very close friend if she's experienced any of these things while studying here in Australia, but I'm a bit reluctant if it will bring back any bad memories...
Catcallers are probably less likely to harass women if a guy is with them.
KernelPanic
Member
I didn't think this type of crap happens much anymore: (
I've personally never seen it.
I've personally never seen it.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
It's okay to glance. Hell, maybe it's even polite, but you don't have howl and glare like a starved animal. I don't really understand that type of behavior. I'm starting to think that the reactions from offended women are just negative reinforcement for these guys.
The Librarian
Banned
These are two absolutely horrible posts. Why are you brushing aside the issue with statements of "Er, well, someone women like it so that's why it happens!"? How many women do you know that like it? How often do you think that behavior works? Responses like that tell me you don't take the issue seriously.
I was recently in New Orleans for my move to Los Angeles (I lived in North Carolina), and I was AFRAID at points to walk or go to certain places in the city because I was AFRAID of being catcalled.
"Well, some women like it!" Ridiculous.
out0v0rder
Member
Society is such a weird and complex thing that is always so ridiculous. Its sad that some people just cant be left alone and feel comfortable on a public street. I cant possibly imagine what it must be like to have all sorts of unwanted attention from complete stangers everyday, day after day, all the time. I say this as a person who is essentially invisible to the world when in public, i have never even been asked what time it is. Godspeed and good luck to all of you out there who have to deal with this harassment.
Devolution
Member
I imagine "some women like it" is basically "they don't look mortified and gave me an intimidated wry smile so I'll continue."
So, how long of a look are we talking? I catch myself looking at women occasionally, not even if they're wearing short skirts or anything, just if I find them particularly attractive, but I fear I'm being a rude asshole. I don't mean to direct this question specifically at you, Sapient, just in general for any ladies with insight and willing to respond.
I think the answer to your question largely depends on whose looking.
As a average to slightly above average guy, I catch female customers at my job glancing at me. If the girl is cute, I take it as a compliment. If I don't perceive the girl as attractive, I find it annoying.
Horrible and kind of creepy post.
The video made it seem that way. That part was stupid. The cat calling in the video didnt seem bad, but im not a woman and dont know how it feels.
I go through this at times. This video in some ways gives off that being attracted to a woman is bad. that annoyed me about it
The Librarian
Banned
DerZuhälter
Member
Yeah, no. Big no. And that video can fuck off badly.
Answering "sexy" with "Go to hell" is about the rudest thing I've ever seen. "I know I dress provocative but...".
Stop right there, it's like some have even forgotten the meaning of words nowadays. If something is "provocative" it is challanging, provoking reactions otherwise it wouldn't be provocative.
Finishing the above sentence with the statement one hates reactions and doesn't want to be bothered raises the question: The fuck are you dressing yourself provocative for?
Oh because it looks nice, or is comfortable. Well bohoo. I'd also rather be spending most of the day in my boxers in the summer, and they are probably longer than a few skirts and hot pants i've seen being worn in the summer by girls outside, still this would never fly for men.
Now the disgusting part of the video, is connecting the stares and the catcalling with assault and basically implying, it's just a softer version of assault. Not in my or in any kind of world. Even implying this is offensive to me.
Human attraction is in all our nature. If a set of huge knockers in a tini tiny tank top comes right at me I will glance at it, some might stare at it, but we'll notice it straight away, bet your ass on it, because it's just in our nature.
And of course the video showing only creepy old guys stareing and catcalling, though I bet when a Brad Pitt-like looking guy says "MMhh cute" or anything way more explicit than even in the video, most girls will brush a strain of their hair to the side and smile/giggle and won't be bothered by it, or immediately interact.
Because guess what? Human attraction is just as valid, for crotch/ass-staring women and they are allowed to act on it. They just have one feature less to look at.
This next generation is going to grow up confused as hell and mostly single because some like to blurry lines of what is ok and what is not.
Ok: Looking, smiling and looking for some positive reaction (you'll find it in her face not on her boobs). Nothing creepy about it, nothing you should be ashamed about or anyone else should be offended about, unless it's a girls partner sitting next to her.
Not ok: "Hey mamacita you wanna **** with your *** and ****** while *****". Stareing at body regions while heavily panting and touching yourself. Also not ok: Taking fucking pictures or videos of people.
In generell: Use fucking common sense. on what's ok and what not.
The Librarian
Banned
Probably the worst post in the thread.DerZuhälter;123711551 said:
I don't even know where to start. That I deserved to be catcalled because I wear a short skirt? That it's rude to reply to "sexy" with "Go to hell!"?
DerZuhälter
Member
Did I say that? No I said: You go fishing for reaction you will get some. Explicit stuff is never ok, but if you can't deal with reactions in generell, people trying to start a conversation (preferably not with the opener "Damn look at dem titties" but something you wouldn't be ashamed to here in front of your mother), glancing, looking for eye contact; sounds to me like a stunning lack of social skills.
Put your headphones and shades on and start isolating yourself from all strangers.
The Librarian
Banned
Lovely victim-blaming.DerZuhälter;123712346 said:
I don't mean to offend, but why wear a short skirt (emphasis on the short) if you know it draws that kind of attention? Why not just wear a regular skirt?
I'm not saying wearing one makes you deserving of being cancelled, but the fact that wearing one is going to heavily increase the chance of it happening, so why even put yourself in that position?
The Librarian
Banned
Whoa! More victim-blaming!
Ok not in the thread. I remember that part and was thinking the same thing. If you can't stand having people look at you then become a hermit.
You don't need to be shouting to catcall. Just saying hello in a seductive way is catcalling.
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