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[Allez Phill]

Fuck online dating.

Spoiler

I'm Black.

I don't think I could actually meet someone though it anyways since I think it'd be awkward.

 

[Lebron]

I've had a lot of success with OKcupid. Messages (pretty split between me messaging first or them). Dates. Most of which outside my race, I'm black. Only group I haven't had much success with on their were Indians.

OKtrends don't phase me.

 

[WeAreStarStuff]

That's pretty crazy.

I'm a black male. My ex g/f was Chinese, and my current g/f is half Peruvian half Polish; come at me OKC.

 

[Phobophile]

idk, its a bit of self destruction imo. as a biracial male (czech/AA) growing up and living in Chicago, in high school and currently in college, i have no problems dating/hooking up with white girls and other biracial girls, but black girls tend to be difficult to deal with when trying to date and hookup with, just being real. im still really attracted to black girl but tend not to go after them as hard because i get that whole "you light skin, i want a real nigga" bullshit a lot. and keep in mind i talk and act like a dude who grew up in urban Chicago and not some suburbanite, so its not that simple. there's more nuances to real life dating that online dating misses when it comes to interacting with people of other ethnicities.

I'm a biracial male who grew up in south suburban Cook County. Sure, it was suburbs, but wasn't lily white like the northern end of the county. I don't even think I show up on black women's radars. I don't look black at all, my hair isn't textured, I've been told I "talk white," and I could pass more for Latino than half black.

 

[clav]

Asian man, doing better, but STILL getting boned by the law of averages.

I'm going to die alone now.

You're not alone.

 

[Valhelm]

I'm very surprised that many more people are willing to date racists, while less people are refusing to date outside of their race. It's absolutely baffling.

 

[BearFlexington]

My Chinese wife and I (black) say fuck those stats.

 

[AlphaTwo00]

Also, of note: do you know how many women's profile says "whiteys only please". I wish I was kidding.

 

[akira28]

Your avatar change scared the shit out of me just now

we have just witnessed the birth of a new super-villain. Damn OKCupid is creating monsters.

 

[Metallix87]

Also, of note: do you know how many women's profile says "whiteys only please". I wish I was kidding.

While the wording is certainly alarming, maybe they're only attracted to white men?

 

[Valhelm]

I would not have expected Black men to rate Black women higher than white women, especially given the stereotype of a white girlfriend as a status symbol.

It's also interesting that not-Hispanic white men seem more willing to date Black women than Hispanic men are.

I wonder how much of this bias is a conscious decision to avoid certain races or an unconscious bias to find certain races less attractive. I'm aware that I'm generally less attracted to Asian women than I am to people of other races, and I'm ashamed of this. But I've met a dozen or more Asian girls that I would have loved to have dated.

I've heard so many white guys say shit like "I've never been attracted to a Black girl", and I wonder how much of that is innate, and how much is a deliberate avoidance of Black women.

While the wording is certainly alarming, maybe they're only attracted to white men?

This is racism, and probably deliberate racism. I don't think it's likely for somebody to find an entire race unattractive. "Black" covers such a broad range of phenotypes that 99% of people who say they aren't attracted to Black women are lying to themselves.

Alicia Keys identifies as Black, but I bet the majority of guys who "would never date a Black girl" would be with her in a hearbeat.

 

[Metallix87]

Well, if Alicia Keys were on OKCupid, we'd know for sure. She's not, so there's no way to know.

 

[Novocaine]

Also, of note: do you know how many women's profile says "whiteys only please". I wish I was kidding.

I saw that on a lot of profiles when I was on the online dating circuit too, although it wasn't phrased as bigoted as that, was more just stating they had a preference to white men.

I can understand that though, because I have a preference toward white/Asian women. In general I don't find non white/Asian women as attractive.

The increase in willingness to date vocally racist people is straight up weird though.

 

[white dynamite]

Just to further add salt to the wound if you aren't white:

I wonder what the average rating is if you're just white.

 

[Valhelm]

Well, if Alicia Keys were on OKCupid, we'd know for sure. She's not, so there's no way to know.

But there are a shitton of Black women with her looks and her light complexion. Would "whites only" guys be disinterested in her?

I wonder if gay and bi people are more open-minded when looking for partners, given the comparable oppression of people of color and queer folk.

 

[metalslimer]

While the wording is certainly alarming, maybe they're only attracted to white men?

This is the effects of subtle racism in our society. It's one thing to have a preferance as society has ingrained that preference in many people, but to straight out say something like No blacks is completely racist.

I wonder if gay and bi people are more open-minded when looking for partners, given the comparable oppression of people of color and queer folk.

From my experience, the people are gay dating apps are just as terrible.

 

[Ryu1999]

But there are a shitton of Black women with her looks and her light complexion. Would "whites only" guys be disinterested in her?

I wonder if gay and bi people are more open-minded when looking for partners, given the comparable oppression of people of color and queer folk.

I read posts on here that, ironically enough, that gays are even more particular about race than hetero people

 

[Angelus Errare]

But there are a shitton of Black women with her looks and her light complexion. Would "whites only" guys be disinterested in her?

I wonder if gay and bi people are more open-minded when looking for partners, given the comparable oppression of people of color and queer folk.

Worst thing you can be in America is black and gay, cause no one wants you at that point.

 

[kirblar]

But there are a shitton of Black women with her looks and her light complexion. Would "whites only" guys be disinterested in her?

I wonder if gay and bi people are more open-minded when looking for partners, given the comparable oppression of people of color and queer folk.

Nah, not at all- you get the same thing there, at least with the guys.

 

[Goon]

Does Asian include East Indian?

 

[metalslimer]

Worst thing you can be in America is black and gay, cause no one wants you at that point.

The amount of times I've gotten "you seem cool, but I'm just not into black guys" has made me completely stop using any of this. Better off just meeting people the old way.

 

[CrashSimonFaye]

I'm in County CA, this does not surprise me one bit. OKCupid is rough.

 

[soundahfekz]

As a black male I feasted off of OKC. Got. messages from mainly white women, then black then Hispanic

Shrugs

Pof was even crazier

 

[Arksy]

I want to see some statistics on Indian men and women and Semitic/Arabic men and women. I feel like Indian guys probably get screwed over as well.

 

[Air]

This stuff is always weird to see, but it should reaffirm the stance that it's simply better to meet people in person than online.

 

[Metallix87]

But there are a shitton of Black women with her looks and her light complexion. Would "whites only" guys be disinterested in her?

I don't know, we would have to find them and ask.

Also, fyi, the post was about women wanting white guys, not guys wanting white girls.

 

[Replicant]

I wonder if gay and bi people are more open-minded when looking for partners, given the comparable oppression of people of color and queer folk.

Nope nope nope. Gay men are men and therefore far more visual-based and prejudiced based on visuals alone. "No fats, no femmes, no oldies, no non-whites" are common description on those dating apps.

 

[RastaMentality]

Nope nope nope. Gay men are men and therefore far more visual-based and prejudiced based on visuals alone. "No fats, no femmes, no oldies, no non-whites" are common description on those dating apps.

Maybe the apps usually being a grid of 3x3cm pictures plays into the whole visual-based thing.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Where all the Indians at

 

[kirblar]

Maybe the apps usually being a grid of 3x3cm pictures plays into the whole visual-based thing.

It's a grid of 3x3 pics precisely because it's filled with only men. They've tried porting that same style of app over to the lesbians and it doesn't work - they don't use it. They've actually been doing a lot of research into f/f specific apps, and they're looking radically different from the male versions.

 

[Mononoke]

I'll admit, I have preferences. But I don't really get the idea behind being absolutely against anyone because of the color of their skin. I mean, anyone can be attractive regardless of that. I dunno.

But it's things like this, that make me nervous about dating outside of my race. I feel like, my chances of dating someone is far less likely if my skin color is different from the person I'm pursuing. And that really sucks.

 

[dili]

Asian women always dominate these things

 

[Finaika]

Asian women always dominate these things

I wonder why.

 

[Plywood]

I notice that OKC stats are always depressing, the statistics be callous.

 

[Galang]

I wonder if gay and bi people are more open-minded when looking for partners, given the comparable oppression of people of color and queer folk.

I'd love to see okcupid do a chart for other sexualities. It's just as bad if not worse

 

[AlphaTwo00]

While the wording is certainly alarming, maybe they're only attracted to white men?

I'm just going to throw it out here. This was what I had seen, on more than a few occasions, on asian profiles, specifically as a point of "please don't message me if you're asian". It just stings a bit more when you know you're getting turned down by the other races by default, and then have that thrown in your face as well.

Basically, as mentioned in OP, it sucks being asian or black on these sites.

 

[Amensalism]

Alicia Keys identifies as Black, but I bet the majority of guys who "would never date a Black girl" would be with her in a hearbeat.

you chose the worst example, she's half white.

these are better examples

edit: well shit, viva a fox is part native american....

double edit: welp, doubly shit. Naomi has chinese jamaican ancestry lol

 

[Panzon]

So pretty much most races wanna keep it with their own race, save Asians wanting white?

 

[ginger ninja]

wonder if South Asian also comes under Asian..also wonder if i shouldn't take this seriously and give okc another shot

 

[impact]

So pretty much most races wanna keep it with their own race, save Asians wanting white?

Racism still alive they just be concealin it.

 

[BobLoblaw]

I don't know if this has already been asked in this thread, but how do I become a white male?

 

[Amensalism]

I don't know if this has already been asked in this thread, but how do I become a white male?

get yourself some Lacoste collared shirts

 

[studyguy]

So pretty much most races wanna keep it with their own race, save Asians wanting white?

Latinos don't exactly have a huge margin of lead on their own race vs whites either.
Personally I enjoy naturally tanned women

 

[GrizzNKev]

I can see how easy it is to discriminate by appearance online when you don't have to physically interact with anyone. People are more likely to ignore anyone that isn't 9.5/10 and up.

 

[Assanova]

I don't think that it's so much people rejecting race, but rather, the negative stereotypes associated with said race. I don't have too much of a problem dating outside of my race, mostly because I am not associated with a lot of the negative stereotypes. Also, whether you're an Asian or Black guy, you gotta remember that whites outnumber you greatly, so even if nine out of ten white women refuse to date you because of your race, that still leaves a great number that will. Your chances are especially high if you are more appealing than other men of your race.

 

[Infinite]

Hear a lot of online dating horror stories from black women.

 

[PhineBuyM3]

These online dating things seem terrible, I think I'd rather meet women the old fashioned way.

 

[Cuburt]

So pretty much most races wanna keep it with their own race, save Asians wanting white?

Read that again.

White men rating Asian women.

 

[Cubancrisis]

As a Cuban-American with afro hair and light complexion, I usually get attention from whites but especially blacks and Latinos. Asians... Not so much. However, I've noticed Philipino women digging me. Perhaps it's to do with the Spanish presence and influence on their culture.

 

[viciouskillersquirrel]

So pretty much most races wanna keep it with their own race, save Asians wanting white?

I always thought it had to do with power dynamics and prestige. For different reasons, Asian and Latino people are proud of their culture and see themselves as the equals of white people, even if as a community they have far less actual power. In the "power hierarchy", they think that if they're not top dog, they're at least number 2, so they look down on both each other as groups as well as upon Black people.

I remember reading the results of a survey where people of different races were asked questions about cultural affinity. I don't remember Asian people being included, but I distinctly remember the result being that Latino people felt that they had more in common than White people than with Black people. Black people, perhaps seeing Latinos as fellow victims of discrimination, felt that they had more in common with them than with White people. White people meanwhile, maybe due to sharing language and history, felt that they had more in common with the Black community than the Latino community.

Seeing these biases play out in the online dating sphere isn't all that surprising.