I find it hard to believe that a woman can find only a very narrow skin complexion and facial structure attractive.
OKCupid OKTrends Race and Atrraction 2014
- Thread starter Moral Panic
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Sadly it's one of the first things my psychology professors have brought up when discussing sexuality: no group receives more disapproval for being gay than black people by other black people in the USA. It's partially attributed to the more heavy role that religion plays in black culture.
This is odd to me. It seems like people take a statement like "I'm only attracted to ____ race" as meaning "I've never seen nor do I believe I ever will see a person of another race that I find attractive." Realistically, it means that the vast majority of situations in which the person finds someone attractive, they are of the particular race they've requested with their original statement, making it not worthwhile to them to sort through what might be 95% or greater disinteresting matches. They know they like a particular race as a general rule and thus are looking for a match there.
I get that the artical is about physical attraction but surely at some point personality comes into play. I find myself more attracted to people I connect to emotionally and tend to start being more physically attracted to them as a result and vice versa if I'm turned off by their personality.
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Yeah, but that's what the site is for. Getting as close to a match in a bunch of categories and then you can hopefully find someone who really fits the bill for you. Many people realize they can fall for someone they didn't expect to, whether over physical or personality traits initially. Doesn't mean they can't voice what they know they like in hopes to get lucky with it.
Saucycarpdog
Member
The most surprising thing about this study to me is that Latino women have a much lower to approval of white men than I thought. I swear I read a study a while ago that Caucasian+Latino interracial marriages were almost double that of Caucasian+Black interracial marriages. I think it surpassed Cauc+Asian marriages too.
Then why not turn down people of that race individually like the other races?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
What other choice do they have?
If you ignore Black women, Black men are the least approving. But because they aren't conditioned to exclude Black women as potential partners, they don't discriminate against any group.
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Because people don't realize that when they are telling people openly on their profile that certain races turn them off, it's making the decent people of races they are interested in turned off too. I assume it's just a bit of a vapid internet indecency.
Fox the Sly
Member
Wow, I just finished reading through this thread and then I find this one on the first page of OT. Go figure.
As a black man dating online has been a rollercoaster. It can hurt sometimes because you know women of other races don't respond to your messages (no matter how well thought-out and tailored to her profile) because of your race. However, I did meet my Mexican ex-girlfriend on OKC and she actually messaged me first. She only dates black men. My ex before her responded to my ad on craigslist and she was Puerto Rican and also only dated black men. So there's some love for the brothas out there, but I think we'd be better off on sites where women actually want to find us. And of course, in person. Nothing beats face to face interaction.
As a black man dating online has been a rollercoaster. It can hurt sometimes because you know women of other races don't respond to your messages (no matter how well thought-out and tailored to her profile) because of your race. However, I did meet my Mexican ex-girlfriend on OKC and she actually messaged me first. She only dates black men. My ex before her responded to my ad on craigslist and she was Puerto Rican and also only dated black men. So there's some love for the brothas out there, but I think we'd be better off on sites where women actually want to find us. And of course, in person. Nothing beats face to face interaction.
Does that include online? It is probably more prevalent since you have to make judgment on potential dates before you know a person and race, along with age and height are probably the first thing you look at on a profile.
I'd find it hard to believe that white men + asian women is not the most common interracial marriage. Seems like it'd be the largest by a large margin.
The great thing about online dating is being able to get a sense of whether potential matches have somewhat compatible personalities before making contact. The bad thing about online dating is that people reject others for comparatively shallow reasons that might easily be ignored if they found the chemistry was there in person.
All forms of dating have their pros and cons. But people are all individuals, and while a large percenage will reject the advances of anyone displaying certain characteristics, there are still a great many others who will view those characteristics as irrelevant or desirable.
That said, the racial preferences displayed in these stats is fascinating. I'd love to see how they varied by country, because I assume they're influenced by dozens of cultural factors that aren't relevant to those living outside the US.
It is. The 2010 census statistics for interracial pairings show that comparatively, White Men/Asian Women make up the largest pairings in the US, followed by White Men/Other Women (Usually non-Asian/non-Black ie. Hispanic) followed by White Women/Other Men, White Women/Black Men, White Women/Asian Men.
Metallix87
Member
So White Men / Black Women is the least common pairing?
toweringinferno
Member
As a black male, I know my friends and I don't care. We go for any woman that's attractive.
Nope, Asian Men/Black Women is the least. White Men/Black Women was behind Asian Men/White Women though.
Married couples in the United States in 2010:
White Husband
(White Wife)50,410,000
(Asian Wife)529,000
(Other Wife)487,000
(Black Wife)168,000
Black Husband:
(Black Wife)4,072,000
(White Wife)390,000
(Other Wife) 66,000
(Asian Wife)39,000
Asian Husband
(Asian Wife)2,855,000
(White Wife)219,000
(Other Wife)28,000
(Black Wife)9,000
Other Husband
Other Wife)568,000
(White Wife)488,000
(Asian Wife)37,000
(Black Wife)18,000
They did note though, amongst recently married or newly married, the highest interracial coupling was actually white/Hispanic, followed by white/Asian, and white/black, which is not surprising seeing as how the two largest ethnic groups will have the highest rates of interracial marriage. Since most of these stats were from 2010, interracial pairings also still only made up 15% of all new marriages in the year. But another recent trend is that rates for interracial marriage amongst Indians and Asians was actually declining as more immigrants from these groups come to the US. There are more options for them to stay within their race, and as more come, they are able to be upwardly mobile.
I hope not, I know technically Asian is correct but no one means Indian when they say Asian.
Problems like these are a great example of why you need to look at large scale statistics rather than individual anecdotes.
If one guy says he would prefer to date a white or asian woman, that's not a problem. As noted by this article, everyone has preferences and it's possible you just prefer lighter skin, for instance.
But what if you zoom out, and 90% of men feel the same way? Well, at that point, we can't telll who specifically is being racist, but somebody is, because the odds that everyone just so happens to have the exact same preferences is low.
If one guy says he would prefer to date a white or asian woman, that's not a problem. As noted by this article, everyone has preferences and it's possible you just prefer lighter skin, for instance.
But what if you zoom out, and 90% of men feel the same way? Well, at that point, we can't telll who specifically is being racist, but somebody is, because the odds that everyone just so happens to have the exact same preferences is low.
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I always wonder how many people know the 3 technical categories of 'race.'
These days, the more accepted moniker is South Asian(Pakistani/Indian/Nepali/Bangladeshi/Sri Lankan) for non-East Asians, and since Indians themselves make up such a large number of South Asians, they're pretty much just called Indian in terms of categories, much like Middle Eastern has also come into play.
This actually makes asian husband / white wife the second most common pairing for white people based on population size. There are ~3x as many black men in America as there are Asian men, but less than 2x as many black men married to white women. You could account for this by citing socieconomic status as the most immediate explanation.
True, I was going by overall pairings. Because the "other" category is so broad as well, you could theoretically have say middle easterners who marry outside their race have the highest rates of intermarriage because they are so low.
You are correct though. I think overall, based on population, white people percentage wise are the least likely to marry interracially. Socioeconomic status is a big explanation for Asian/white pairings, and the rates have actually declined as compared to the early 90's because as more Asians/Indians come to the country, and more are foreign born, there is a greater pool for them to intermarry amongst themselves, and with greater chances at economic success and being upwardly mobile, many find it easier to find say a successful Asian husband or an American born/raised Asian wife.
HeartlessNobody213
Member
Pretty much this. As long as the woman looks good, we don't care what race she is.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
I'm not sure if it's been said before, but one of the biggest problems with dating sites is that they turn any degree of preference beyond the mean into exclusionary features through filtering.
This means that if somebody is into tall persons, they will automatically exclude anybody who measures less than [xxxx]. That's it. You won't even show up in their search results and they won't bother replying to you, even if you could have a very real chance with said person in real life.
Worse, even, they may even use humiliating words to desintivize being contacted by certain people (as I recently read in a profile "I don't want any men below 1.80 metres, I want to be the doll, not to date a doll"). Basically, the internet turns some people into the uncaring assholes they are not allowed to be in the real world.
So if you happen to have any feature that may be even slightly less than preferential (not just race or height, mind you), you won't even fucking count for a large part of the public. Being a buyers' market, it can be pretty fucking aggravating for men.
Most of the dates I've got over the past few months have been through a particular internet site that and puts more attention into the profile pictures and things like tastes and hobbies instead of agressive filtering. It's made my dating life immensely easier, although I plan to resume IRL flirting as soon as I clean up and grease my rusty old game.
This means that if somebody is into tall persons, they will automatically exclude anybody who measures less than [xxxx]. That's it. You won't even show up in their search results and they won't bother replying to you, even if you could have a very real chance with said person in real life.
Worse, even, they may even use humiliating words to desintivize being contacted by certain people (as I recently read in a profile "I don't want any men below 1.80 metres, I want to be the doll, not to date a doll"). Basically, the internet turns some people into the uncaring assholes they are not allowed to be in the real world.
So if you happen to have any feature that may be even slightly less than preferential (not just race or height, mind you), you won't even fucking count for a large part of the public. Being a buyers' market, it can be pretty fucking aggravating for men.
Most of the dates I've got over the past few months have been through a particular internet site that and puts more attention into the profile pictures and things like tastes and hobbies instead of agressive filtering. It's made my dating life immensely easier, although I plan to resume IRL flirting as soon as I clean up and grease my rusty old game.
Well Im gonna assume Asian in these graph really means East Asian. Grouping all of Asia into one category would really skew the stats moreso than any other grouping. South Asian is so different in the dating world it deserved to be its own category.
No, they count Indians with Asian in that graph.
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Not sure people taking surveys would realize that though.
How so? Indians like other Asians also favor light skin and marrying upwards. Look at the opinions Indians had over Miss America for being "too dark" and how she wouldn't win in India:
"Every single one of the young women was taking some sort of medication to alter her skin, particularly in colour… The contestants undergo chemical peels and daily medication, some of which have rather unpleasant side effects. [One contestant] often complained to the doctor that she felt nauseous and weak as a result of the medication prescribed to lighten her South Indian skin."
Miss America:
Top 3 Miss India contestants:
Comparison of Miss America and Miss India:
More @ http://www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/is-miss-america-too-dark-skinned-to-ever-be-crowned-miss-ind#2yyym5j
While I don't know either of you two specifically, I will say this is how most people think. Very few people actually think -- consciously, inside their heads -- that they would never date a black girl, or that Asian people are inferior. Most people believe they are just chasing "attractive women." The question we need to ask is: how did their opinions on what is attractive form in the first place?
I'm sure there are quite a few men out there who just date "attractive women," but it just so happens that to them, white and asian women are notably more likely to be attractive to them. Thus, nobody seems to be doing anything wrong (that is, most people are just dating women they find attractive), but black women end up losing because it seems a disproportionate amount of men just so happen to not find them attractive.
Please note, for emphasis, that I am not calling either of the people I've just quoted a racist. They're simply examples to use to show that almost every individual person feels they are fair, rational agents who just date people they're attracted to. Further, I believe a lot of people just say "well I like what I like," without asking the question, "well, how did you end up liking what you do?" Where did you your sense of what makes an attractive woman come from?
block tower
Member
reading through this thread, idk if i think the OKC is a good representation of how people date in the real, online dating seems to be it's own beast. i know from experience ive dated many people who i never would give the time of day if i had been presented the same person as an online dating profile. so while i do believe these racial basis exist outside just dating sites, i think if you far more likely to give someone of a different ethnicity or background a chance than youd normally give in an online dating site. i enjoy meeting women in normal everyday situations because you always meet someone far different than "your type", so for me the calculated nature of online dating has never appealed to me.
Bingo. I think this has a lot more to do with it than actual race. No doubt that race plays a role, but I think that socioeconomic status has a lot to do with it as well, and for whatever reason, when sites do studies based on race, as far as I know, they never control for socioeconomic status or education.
I'm not sure about height, but I think that on some sites, you can get away with not putting up certain info that would cause women to filter you out.
samus i am
Member
Well I met my current girlfriend on OKCupid and yes, she is black. However, prior to that all of the girls I connected with were white.
matthewwhatever
Member
I went to an OKCupid presentation on data at SXSW back in March. They showed the average ratings for men by women, and women by men. The average rating for a woman was something like 2.4 or 2.5 (out of 5), with a pretty standard distribution curve (so most people bunched around the middle, with it tailing out equally on both sides). For men, the average rating was something like 1.7 or 1.8, with a distribution curve that was less a curve, and more a very steep cliff. They said that it was because there were way more men on OKC than women, so women could afford to be choosy, and that was reflected in men being judged extraordinarily harshly.
Before any guys get all uppity about that, though, they also showed age preferences. Women, in general, preferred guys their own age (so a 30-year-old woman wanted a 30-year-old man, a 20-year-old wanted other 20-year-olds, 40-year-olds wants 40-year-olds, etc.). Men, on the other hand, almost uniformly wanted 18-20-year-old women. It didn't matter how old a guy was -- 20, 40, 60, whatever -- he was vastly more likely to give good ratings to and message younger women.
Cow Mengde
Banned
Us Chinese are guilty of that too. Whenever you read a novel describing a beautiful woman, they describe her skin as soft and white.
My exact experience from online dating too. Most paradoxical thing is that the only site that have worked properly (for me at least) has been, ironically, the one that embraced the most the whole "buyer's market" ethos (adoptauntio dot com).
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
That site has been a fucking godsend for me. Jesus. They deserve all the money they get.
HeartlessNobody213
Member
Well, it's true that most people may feel that way. The difference is in outside influences. A white woman probably won't say to herself "I will not date a black man" but she probably will say" If I date a black man, how will others percieve me or what effect will this have on my releationship with my family"
Black men are alone in the dating world, where in the fact that what race of women we date doesn't have that much of a negative impact on us.That's why it's often you see black guys say or post "don't care what race she is, as long as she looks good. Sure we may get remarks about being a sell out or what not. However, that's minimal compared to what happens with other races.
So, in that instance it's fair to say that a lot of men may just not be attracted to black women or women aren't attracted to black men. Or, maybe they are and just don't don't want to have deal with what comes from dating them (public perception).
Another thing with Black women is that from my experience, a lot of men may be attracted to them, they just don't know how to approach them at all or are terrified to do so. Black women have a pretty bad image in media overall (overly sassy, too loud and too aggressive) So many men don't even take the chance on them since they feel they have no chance to begin with.
As for your question on how people form attraction, that's a pretty deep question and probably one for either another time or thread. One could say the media, society or hell maybe people just form their own sense of what they find attractive.
I myself conced to the fact that although I do find all races/ethnic groups of women attractive, I do however find certain types and attributes within those respective groups more attractive than others.
These statistics tend to only apply to online dating anyway where no emotion is involved from the get-go.
In my experience being a short male is the worst detriment in the dating market, race is not even an issue compared to that as most females are not interested and are borderline cruel to the whole concept. I have a lot of female friends who joke about this issue, even people in my immediate family have stated that short men are just not appealing especially when you add heels into that dynamic. This is one of those things that is a huuuuuge barrier, you better have a big wallet or an unbelievable personality with some muscle to work around that.
In my experience being a short male is the worst detriment in the dating market, race is not even an issue compared to that as most females are not interested and are borderline cruel to the whole concept. I have a lot of female friends who joke about this issue, even people in my immediate family have stated that short men are just not appealing especially when you add heels into that dynamic. This is one of those things that is a huuuuuge barrier, you better have a big wallet or an unbelievable personality with some muscle to work around that.
I have actually had Subcontinent friends say the same about Mindy Kaling having a show over here and even Parminder Nagra when she had that bend it like Beckham film. They said dark female actresses over there are typecasted as background characters if they even get hired at all.
Moral Panic
Member
White Women rating Hispanic guys 1%? Da fuck? Thought you liked us more
The 1% means 1% above average. I should probably put that in the OP.
I think that it seems like a big issue because if you are white that is the only thing people can really count against you that you can't change. I never hear minority guys go on about being short.
If you look lame you can get a haircut and makeover and change that.
If you are fat you can work out and change that.
You can't do a damn thing about being 5'2 though lol.
Probably true but race does not compare in any way to height.
While race plays a role in preferences there are studies that state the following : 89% of women said the shortest person they would date would still have to be taller than them. That is amazing and a barrier that hardly compares to anything else. That is probably at the same level with having the face of Stalin and a swastika tattooed on your chest.
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