Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that because of her saying harassment is a problem for women that her getting harassed as a woman as a result should just mostly be shrugged at?
No, absolutely not. No one should be harassed for their gender. I can see where it sounds like I did though, my bad on that.
What I'm saying is that there are significant problems within the gaming community when it comes to allowing women into the actual culture. This is a bad thing, and ridiculous if you take a step back and look at what women bring into every culture they permeate.
That said: there are issues with saying the gaming community is "white males, college educated, racist, misogynist." It's a terrible generalization that's caused a lot of backlash. First, it puts at gamers the defensive, such as boogie's youtube video "I'm not a bigot, are you?".
Second, it marginalizes the rest of us who are not white, not racist, not misogynist because we either have to defend ourselves, or deny affiliation with something we enjoy.
Third: because this movement and general atmosphere is coming from outside gaming culture, it places even more people on the defensive because it's coming from a movement that criticizes, but has done little to actually change things.
The culmination of criticism, outright attack, and general trolls stoking the fire has resulted in an atmosphere where there is an immediate affiliation attributed to a person the second they step into the battlefield. This forces a lot of the level headed people to stay away and leaves only the hard liners to scream into each others faces.
Why am I writing this long diatribe? Because I think Zoe Quinn would have been attacked regardless of gender. The use of gendered insults obiscufates this, but even kotaku writers, Phil Fish, and the TYFC campaign manager have all been attacked (all men).
I think that people who want to criticize Quinn's actions on legitimate grounds are frustrated at being thrown into the misogynist camp. The use of gender as a shield hurts more than it helps.
That reads scarily close to 'if you don't want to keep being treated that way, stop dressing that way'. I get the point, but the answer is probably something like 'because now it's a matter of principle'.
If the principle is "don't harass women because of their gender" I'm all for it.