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[smokeandmirrors]

My. God.

I cannot even imagine being able to do it 20 times in a day. It must have hurt.

I imagine it's like pulling taffy at that point.

 

[Link Man]

That time of the year again?

 

[TangerineCloud]

My. God.

I cannot even imagine being able to do it 20 times in a day. It must have hurt.

Yep. After like the 15th time, it just felt like a knot was growing down there. It was not a pleasant sensation, but I kept going for some reason. Haven't come close to jerking it that many times in a single day ever since.

Whoa. How many times until you were "firing blanks"?

Was it difficult to stop masturbating so much?

I can't remember when exactly I started "firing blanks", but I did notice near the end that there was no semen and I was just feeling the dulled sensation of an orgasm.

The second question is kind of tough to answer. This was happening during a really dark time. I just found it really difficult to derive any sense of happiness or satisfaction from my life, so I think I turned to masturbation so frequently because it was one of the few things I could rely on to make me feel good consistently. As things have improved and I've gotten farther and farther away from that point in my life, I've found that refraining from masturbation isn't too hard. Nowadays, I can usually get away with doing it once or twice a week. Though there are definitely times when I still feel that pull.

I certainly hope

Spoiler

k

not

booooo

Spoiler

lol

 

[Magwik]

Yep. After like the 15th time, it just felt like a knot was growing down there. It was not a pleasant sensation, but I kept going for some reason. Haven't come close to jerking it that many times in a single day ever since.

I certainly hope

Spoiler

k

not

 

[TheBear]

Whoa. How many times until you were "firing blanks"?

Was it difficult to stop masturbating so much?

My record was 13. After 5 it's like a dribble, after 11 it was like a dry cough.

That was a long day.

 

[SnakeEyes]

I imagine it's like pulling taffy at that point.

Yep. After like the 15th time, it just felt like a knot was growing down there. It was not a pleasant sensation, but I kept going for some reason. Haven't come close to jerking it that many times in a single day ever since.

I'm sitting here with my legs crossed now. All of the "ouchies."

 

[CronosBlade]

How the hell can you physically go ten times a day...?

What was the term American Dad used?

Oh yeah, Ghost Loads

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm 19 years old and I have a big obsession with 14-20 year old girls. I'd totally date a girl a few years younger than me if it was socially acceptable.

Sometimes I wish age of consent laws would make it so 15-25 is legal, because the difference between a 17-year-old and a 22-year-old isn't really that big.

I usually find 16-18 year old girls more attractive than girls over 20. My girlfriend is 17.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I do. I don't exactly feel bad about it, because I'm not hurting anybody, but it makes me feel like a creep.

TBH my biggest hypothetical dream is to be a polygamist with multiple pretty young wives. I live out this fantasy vicariously by playing videogames like Crusader Kings that involve polygamy, or writing (not erotic) fiction about polygamy.

Wow, so your dream is to be henpecked to death by a flock instead of a single girl?

More power to you.

I understand at your age maybe those feelings can be confusing, but if you still feel the same as you get older... don't act on impulses if they're still in high school.

 

[H.Protagonist]

Bored, eh?

I'M IN LOVE WITH H. PROTAGONIST! SHE'S SUCH A BABE, AND SHE FREAKIN WORKS FOR XSEED! HOW DO I CONVINCE HER TO BE MY WAIFU?!

My confession: I think my gaming is a substitute for an absent father and a way to escape socializing or having anything to do with my mother. Now that I'm older and really stopped caring and stopped giving into all the emotional blackmail, I find I don't get as much enjoyment out of gaming. Or maybe I think it's just time for me to move on and find a new hobby.

I need something to keep me going through the tedium of system files, but I don't know if that's it.

As for your gaming coping habit, probably for the best to branch out and try some new hobbies. Outdoor ones seem to net the nicest results. Or volunteer stuff.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

My first job ever was being a janitor for a school for a couple months. I was a terrible, lazy worker. I took long breaks, stole things, hid from my superiors to sleep, and made it my missions to take as long as possible to do anything. On one of my last shifts i decided to hide and take a nap in one of the bathrooms. It was very uncomfortable, so i just decided to rub one out. Everything went smoothly until right before i finished, as one of my coworkers walked in on me. He did a double take, jumped out, closed the door and quickly said, "oops, I'm sorry." I shit bricks, got back to work and tried my hardest to avoid the dude. I never saw the dude again for the rest of my time there and left the job a couple of days later (was not fired). I don't think anybody found out, but I was definitely on edge, and performing my best after that.

There is no greater motivator than paranoia about public masturbation.

 

[akira28]

nice. heheh. nice.

 

[H.Protagonist]

That was, shockingly enough, not a confession thread.

It was disturbing enough to be one though.

/stoptalkingaboutmylittlebrotherssexlifekthx

That was the best thread. Pure comedy.

 

[Valhelm]

Masturbating at a school job sounds like a wonderful idea.

 

[HUELEN10]

Must have to drink lots and lots of water.

That and Lechitin.

 

[Captainbojanglesiii]

Well gotta sub to this. Should prove to be interesting.

 

[Gray Matter]

Awesome. I was literally thinking when this thread would show up again.

Off to a great start.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

My wife is totally gonna peg me tonight. can't wait.

 

[B-Dubs]

You're in love with a GAFer? You can do better.

Edit: So, I've got a few in the confessional. I won't share them in chronological order, so if you don't see yours here immediately, it just means I'm holding off on sharing it till later.

I thought Timedog was already going out with Devo. Did that change?

For reals, unless you've already gone out with this girl (I assume you're a dude writing this because GAF) there's not a whole lot to lose by telling her.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

This is my first time doing this, here it goes.

I have no reason to live. Before you get alarmed, this is not a suicide letter, I've thought about suicide but I just don't have the courage to end my own life and I think that if I was given the opportunity to end my life quick and painless I wouldn't do it because I am a huge wuss.

Let me explain. I wake up in the morning and I don't look forward to the day, life for me is a drag. I'm currently going to job corps, which is embarrassing for me because I am a smart guy, but my depression made it difficult for me to function well at college. I flunked out and job corps was the last resort at a better future. No one besides my parents and sister know this and it kills me to have to hide this from my friends, but I feel like they would look down on me, even though I know they wouldn't.

I have a miserable "under the table" job cleaning a daycare Monday-Friday and it's fucking depressing. I get paid $400 a month, and while that isn't too bad, with helping with bills at home and buying necessary things I barely have any money left for myself to enjoy.

I could go on and on, but the point is that I hate life.

Apologies if too long.

I don't know if you will e-mail me back or not, but I am curious: What kind of help have you gotten for your depression?

 

[Magwik]

Perfect GIF

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Is there ever a time where it's okay not to feel guilty about stealing another mans girlfriend? I've known her long enough to know that we share the same feelings for each other and that she is pretty miserable with her bf, but out of my respect just for people in the service (he is) in general, I can't help but feel awful when I sit down and think about what I'm doing. What really gets me is that they could be naturally drifting apart or the issues could just stem from me butting my head where it does not belong. It keeps me up at night because I really do love the girl. It just doesn't seem like there is an option where I come out of this feeling good about anything.

It takes two to tango. Until she's ready to pursue a relationship with you, with her heart fully set, how can you really do anything?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

When I was in kindergarten, I developed a crush on Fifi la Fume from Tiny Toons Adventures. Inadvertently years later, this caused me to develop a fart fetish that lasts to this day. I did not realize the connection until it was far too late.

I have gotten a little excited when my ex/current girlfriends fart while we sleep/spoon together, but I've never told them or anyone outright about it.

Hey big boy.

 

[Fireblend]

Aww yeah, confession thread I've missed you so :')

To depressed guy, hang in there. If you can't radically change what you do or your circumstances, try doing small changes to break the routine. There are tons of free/very cheap activities you can do. Learn something new! Programming, a new language, cooking, whatever helps

And if you've already visited a counselor/psychologist/whatever and didn't click with him/her, please don't give up and try another one. I've been depressed before, and I had to "shop around" before I could find a professional with whom I could click, and that made a world of difference to me. Not saying I understand your situation, because it's yours alone. Just something to consider.

Hang in there

 

[Amagon]

Hey big boy.

Is this guys name Jorge by any chance?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Is this guys name Jorge by any chance?

Anonymous Confessions.

 

[Featheredkitten]

I've made no secret that in every confessional thread at least one of the confessions was mine. Also I have no shame in my love of futon porn.

Thanks for taking over nottheguyyoukill. Heaven have mercy on your soul. And feel free to pm me the choicest dick pics. Dont know what I'll do without them

I feel like everyone on the internet but me gets random dick pics, is there a service to opt-in or something? Did I miss a button the first time i logged on?

That was, shockingly enough, not a confession thread.

It was disturbing enough to be one though.

/stoptalkingaboutmylittlebrotherssexlifekthx

That was a weird thread.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

That was a weird thread.

I kinda now wanna talk about Fiction's little brother's sex life.

 

[Amagon]

Anonymous Confessions.

I know thats you Jorge...

 

[Like the hat?]

To job corps guy. I went to job corps, in Chicago. It was the first step toward turning my life around. Not that job corps specifically did anything to really help me other than stop me from being homeless for a while, but it was still a step toward the future. The fact that you are taking that step, even if it feels shitty, is a good thing.

 

[A Fish Aficionado]

That one is ronito.

 

[Five]

I feel like everyone on the internet but me gets random dick pics, is there a service to opt-in or something? Did I miss a button the first time i logged on?

You brag about/flirt with Marrec too much.

 

[Featheredkitten]

I kinda now wanna talk about Fiction's little brother's sex life.

We did some kinky stuff like, an hour ago, but it's not really my place to go into details.

You brag about/flirt with Marrec too much.

I'm a strong independent woman and I deserve cyber harassment in the form of dick pics, this is relationship discrimination, i tell ya.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

Based NotTheGuyYouKill

This thread is gold.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm a strong independent woman and I deserve cyber harassment in the form of dick pics, this is relationship discrimination, i tell ya.

If Marrec isn't sending you dick pics on a regular basis, I'd consider going to counseling.

Edit: If you're angry with a mod, you really should just tell the mod.

Edit 2: If you are gonna send me a death threat, re-read my username and re-think it.

 

[Messofanego]

You're in love with a GAFer? You can do better.

Wait, there are people who actively lust over GAFers? Oh boy.

Reminds me of the person who kept pictures of every GAFer...

 

[PKrockin]

I don't know if you will e-mail me back or not, but I am curious: What kind of help have you gotten for your depression?

If you have some free time, Anonygaffer, have you considered volunteering? It might do wonders for your self-esteem, at least it does for me.

 

[Jarate]

so what's so bad about the being the confession person

I understand that the constant threats and dick pics might be bad, but really, is it the stories that get to you, or is it the horrid nature of man that gets to you

 

[Messofanego]

What the, NotTheGuyYouKill getting death threats?

Not cool.

 

[ronito]

That one is ronito.

Not I said the kitty, but it might be true anyway the night is young.

 

[NoctisVsStar]

What the, NotTheGuyYouKill getting death threats?

Not cool.

What? Damn this is getting out of hand.

 

[Featheredkitten]

If Marrec isn't sending you dick pics on a regular basis, I'd consider going to counseling.

But i've already seen that dick, like.....all the time, it's a familiar penis, is what i'm saying.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

What the, NotTheGuyYouKill getting death threats?

Not cool.

What? Damn this is getting out of hand.

Nah, relax. I ain't worried.

I think people just seize the low hanging fruit that is my username.

 

[B-Dubs]

Wait, there are people who actively lust over GAFers? Oh boy.

Reminds me of the person who kept pictures of every GAFer...

Plenty of GAFers have started dating. There was a thread about such a couple a few days ago.

 

[ronito]

People who have relations with GAFers are weird.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

People who have relations with GAFers are weird.

Your wife is on GAF

 

[Featheredkitten]

Your wife is on GAF

There's his confession. He's weird, pick out the weirdest one that's Ronito's.

 

[Gray Matter]

Your wife is on GAF

I guess that makes you weird, ronito.

 

[dani_dc]

Oh the thread is back, best of luck on your new job.
Unfortunately I'm a pretty open guy so I lack proper confessions to do, guess I'll have to settle by following the thread.

 

[Rest]

I salute you NtGYK, be brave and ever vigilant.

It would be cool if Evilore made a third tab on GAF that just said Confessional, and only had the confessional threads in it.

 

[jasonng]

We did some kinky stuff like, an hour ago, but it's not really my place to go into details.

Disgusting. Surge was meant for drinking!


Edit: Now I know why the podcast was late. I feel gross for knowing this.