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[gazele]

If the issue is the same then you need to ask her what she's willing to do differently this time, since she's the one who initiated the break-up last time. Wrong reasons? Could be anything from: feeling lonely, feeling desperate, feeling like you're not good enough to meet another girl, feeling grateful the girl is taking you back since she dumped you, and so forth.

I don't think any of those reasons apply really if I did get back with her

I'm not sure she's initiating anything, maybe just wanted to say hi? See how I'm doing?

She responded once but then hasn't responded again, so who knows, maybe she just wanted to see if I would respond?

She would do that a lot, especially during the protracted break-up, I'd text her and she wouldn't respond for like 3 days

 

[stn]

I don't think any of those reasons apply really if I did get back with her

I'm not sure she's initiating anything, maybe just wanted to say hi? See how I'm doing?

She responded once but then hasn't responded again, so who knows, maybe she just wanted to see if I would respond?

She would do that a lot, especially during the protracted break-up, I'd text her and she wouldn't respond for like 3 days

In that cast she's really just looking for an ego boost. And playing with your emotions. I strongly suggest you start ignoring her from now on and move on with your life.

@Glass Rebel
Agree with everyone else. Waste of time. Cut contact and meet someone else.

 

[War Peaceman]

Quick advice mateys, if I know the person is going on holiday next week is there any point attempting to schedule a date before then?

 

[Snowman]

Quick advice mateys, if I know the person is going on holiday next week is there any point attempting to schedule a date before then?

How long are they on holiday for? I'd say yeah probably, why not?

 

[War Peaceman]

How long are they on holiday for? I'd say yeah probably, why not?

Over Christmas. That was pretty much my conclusion too. Thanks!

 

[DJ Jazzy J]

Hey guys, I'm new to posting in here but I need some advice. My last (and only) LTR ended about a year a and a half ago and I feel ready to get out there and start dating again. Only problem is the ex and I were relatively young when we got together so I never dated before. Idk what to do. I can find sex but it would be great to find someone looking for more. Any advice?

 

[ClosingADoor]

Just do what you do now. But ask the girl out later again if you like her. Get to know her better and go from there. Meet for drinks, do fun stuff, watch movies, etc.

 

[Reavr]

Hey guys, I'm new to posting in here but I need some advice. My last (and only) LTR ended about a year a and a half ago and I feel ready to get out there and start dating again. Only problem is the ex and I were relatively young when we got together so I never dated before. Idk what to do. I can find sex but it would be great to find someone looking for more. Any advice?

In all honesty, I would seriously consider starting off with something small and relatively painless like Tinder to get your feet wet with conversing, flirting and so on. It's a weird app with a tricky community of users, but it definitely helped me find my footing after getting out of a long-term relationship of my own.

It definitely won't give you a blueprint of how to date successfully in general, but it does help with giving a basic gist of what topics, compliments and methods get attention, and which ones don't. A bit of trial and error, but useful in certain facets. You don't necessarily need to get results from the app to get something out of it. Just look at it as practice... weird, but helpful practice.

 

[Glass Rebel]

Damn, son, she's taking you to a whole new level with this playing you hot/cold sbit. I'd bail and find someone who ain't as similar to a yo-yo as she is. Can't be dealing with that, brah.

Sounds like a waste of time to put any more effort into this.

@Glass Rebel
Agree with everyone else. Waste of time. Cut contact and meet someone else.

Yeah, I agree that it's a waste of time. It's kinda hard to entirely cut off contact as her sister is a good friend of mine and we have other mutual friends. Not that I'd want to drop her entirely, she's aight otherwise. It's just that she can get annoying as hell when it comes to shit like this.

 

[obin_gam]

Today is a day I hate both infatuations and Facebook.
To see that one beautiful girl you assume you have a chance with wirh a relationship update saying shes now not single anymore.

Fuck everything.

 

[Lender]

TLDR:

Girl I like is being physically abused by her ex and I can't do anything about it since she won't let me.

Quick follow up:

I was nearly on the verge of going over to her place last night. She had a birthday thing for an aunt of the ex, and when they got back home he practically just dumped her on their baby at the door and went out. I know she can get scared when she's all alone at home with her son, so I (kinda jokingly) asked if I should come over and keep her company for a while. Her first response was that she would love that, but after that she changed her mind because she didn't know when her ex was going to be home, and she didn't want to risk him coming home while I was still there. Kinda understandable, but still, you know idea how bad I wanted to jump in my car and drive over there, even though it probably wasn't that good of an idea.

 

[PflargBlarg]

Today is a day I hate both infatuations and Facebook.
To see that one beautiful girl you assume you have a chance with wirh a relationship update saying shes now not single anymore.

Fuck everything.

So why didn't you do something before that happened? Genuine question.

 

[obin_gam]

So why didn't you do something before that happened? Genuine question.

I did. We went out a couple of times, hence why I thought everything was going well. Supposedly she was out with this other guy at the same time I guess, and he was just, well more interesting than me. Sigh. Oh well.

 

[AztecSoul]

Hi GAF, I really don't like other people know my problems, but I'm on a really confusing situation, that I don't know what I need to do.
Long story short: I made a brony Scholar group 6 months ago, Luna (Not her real name) joins the group, she was nice but I didn't take too much importance on the beginning, time passes, and I started to feel something for her but I never before had a relationship before, I was nervous and I decide to didn't look for something more on that moment. On the vacations period, I decided to invite a friend to help me to build a table-top pony role play game for the group, he knew about my feeling about her, also, he gave me some tips, on one of the reunions, he met her, and after shortly, he started dating her, unbeknownst to me, but on that moment she had a really bad relationship, and thanks for my friend both ended their relationship.
Shortly after, she started looking for me via FB, we started to talk, I invited her to dates, she accepted, and we really had a good time both of us, she on the beginning clarified that she wasn't ready for another relationship on that moment, but both of us (My friend and I) could make a try of looking for her love, I made my best, hell, even one day I kissed her (Actually, it was my first kiss on all the life), I made some good things, but also, I started to pressure her, and acting more aggressive to everyone, because I didn't know about the future.
Everything collapse this Friday, I went to her classroom on her lunch time, I decided to "sang" (It was a really bad attempt, trust me) her favorite song, shortly after, she gave me her hair ribbon, and also she started to talk to me, telling me if I was aware about my future, and what I was making for me, we started to discuss, until the point she suggest me to withdraw on looking something more , and well, she was right, due thanks of looking for a relationship, I neglect some aspects of my life (with the exception of my grades and school), I came to the conclusion of gave me more priority, but I was confused about my future with her, yesterday, we started talking a little bit, she always stayed cold with me, and also she immediately cut the topic, without hope, I decided to talk with my friend and her, wishing them luck, and looking to talk, one last time before winter break, with both in person.
On that moment, I was decided and peaceful about my decision, until today, I started to thing about if it was the right choice, or I can still have a chance of being with her, I started to analyze her past signs, and she really told me that she feels something for me.
So, now I'm here, working on my last exam, but also confused on what I can do now, I really love her, but I also know that love isn't enough to be with that person, and also I know she feels something about me, I only have tomorrow to know take my final decision, and to know, at least, a bit of her feelings, so, GAF, what I can do?

 

[NeOak]

.

1. He isn't your friend. He dated the girl he knew you liked.

2. Just walk away. No contact. Nothing. Just *poof*! She's ditching you in a way that puts the blame on you.

Do anything you need to vent. Cry, punch a wall, etc. Just do not talk to either of them again if you can.

Seriously, fuck that backstabbing guy and that manipulating girl.

Also, can someone elaborate as to how this guy just gave her everything on a silver plate? I'm on my phone :c

 

[Quirah]

Well I need to post this. First of all whole of these things are happening in Turkey which is an Islamic country and have 'hard' culture .
So there is a girl I've been talking for a months. When we met, I was very shy guy and now she kinda changed me. Anyways, back in these days she was only making fun with me because she is kinda bitchy type girl.
At first we mainly talked in school days. And then there was a summer which we only talked via messaging. But after all of these textings we found out we are in good shape. I mean she likes what I like in life. For example musics or films. But I found out that she was talking with some other guy in summer. While doing that she never gave up on me and we texted every day in summer days.
Anyways I am core gamer and even working on a website about that too. One day she asked me to install games on her MacBook and invited me to her home. At these days she was still talking witg this guy and mentioning him as her boyfriend. In the sake of our 'friendship' I accepted her invite.
Everything went well in a friendship side. But at this night some magic happened and we kissed each other (my first kiss). Well not only that, more than kissing happened that night but I didn't fucked her because I know she has a bf.
After this day we tried to stay as friends but nah, we were only fighting every day. But after two months of this night, today she invited me to watch Hunger Games. I know she is still talking with this guy and even yesterday she posted an instagram photo with #love tag lol.
She had interest on me but we didn't gone too far because I kinda have boring life not like her. As I said she is bitchy girl.
I accepted her movie invitation but what should I do today? Since 2 months I only saw her during lessons, didn't talked too much. I actually don't know what to do. Should I expect something?

 

[ZombieFred]

Well I need to post this. First of all whole of these things are happening in Turkey which is an Islamic country and have 'hard' culture .
So there is a girl I've been talking for a months. When we met, I was very shy guy and now she kinda changed me. Anyways, back in these days she was only making fun with me because she is kinda bitchy type girl.
At first we mainly talked in school days. And then there was a summer which we only talked via messaging. But after all of these textings we found out we are in good shape. I mean she likes what I like in life. For example musics or films. But I found out that she was talking with some other guy in summer. While doing that she never gave up on me and we texted every day in summer days.
Anyways I am core gamer and even working on a website about that too. One day she asked me to install games on her MacBook and invited me to her home. At these days she was still talking witg this guy and mentioning him as her boyfriend. In the sake of our 'friendship' I accepted her invite.
Everything went well in a friendship side. But at this night some magic happened and we kissed each other (my first kiss). Well not only that, more than kissing happened that night but I didn't fucked her because I know she has a bf.
After this day we tried to stay as friends but nah, we were only fighting every day. But after two months of this night, today she invited me to watch Hunger Games. I know she is still talking with this guy and even yesterday she posted an instagram photo with #love tag lol.
She had interest on me but we didn't gone too far because I kinda have boring life not like her. As I said she is bitchy girl.
I accepted her movie invitation but what should I do today? Since 2 months I only saw her during lessons, didn't talked too much. I actually don't know what to do. Should I expect something?

Sounds likes too much trouble if you ask me, I wouldn't do it. There's always someone else out there who actually cares and is interested in you and has the same compatibility if you're patient enough. Don't let someone take the advantage of you because it comes across as that is what she's been doing to you.

 

[AztecSoul]

.

1: Yeah, almost other people told me that, but he's a good person, and I don't want to throw 4 years of friendship to the trash can, the only thing I can do is not telling anymore about my feelings and relationships, it's not the first time he made that
2: Maybe I should need to do that, today it will be the last day I'm going to see her before the winter break, but it will be impossible just walk away, she's a member of my brony group, and if she choose to be with my friend, it would be hard not to hear or to see her

Also, can someone elaborate as to how this guy just gave her everything on a silver plate? I'm on my phone :c

I don't really understand you on this part, can you please explain it?
Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it!

 

[NeOak]

1: Yeah, almost other people told me that, but he's a good person, and I don't want to throw 4 years of friendship to the trash can, the only thing I can do is not telling anymore about my feelings and relationships, it's not the first time he made that
2: Maybe I should need to do that, today it will be the last day I'm going to see her before the winter break, but it will be impossible just walk away, she's a member of my brony group, and if she choose to be with my friend, it would be hard not to hear or to see her

Do not engage her until after the winter break. She may be part of your group, but it takes two to tango: You can decide to be her friend and, if you do, how much of a friend.

As for the guy, up to you. If you already knew he did that, fine. Still a backstabbing bastard.

I don't really understand you on this part, can you please explain it?
Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it!

When you get something for free, no effort required, how much value do you put in it? How much value do you put in something you had to work to get?

That is basically what that means: She did not have to work for having something with you. You did. Therefore, she did not invest herself in it and has nothing to lose if she ditches you. Which she did.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

1: Yeah, almost other people told me that, but he's a good person, and I don't want to throw 4 years of friendship to the trash can, the only thing I can do is not telling anymore about my feelings and relationships, it's not the first time he made that
2: Maybe I should need to do that, today it will be the last day I'm going to see her before the winter break, but it will be impossible just walk away, she's a member of my brony group, and if she choose to be with my friend, it would be hard not to hear or to see her

I don't really understand you on this part, can you please explain it?
Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it!

Lol, I'm sorry but it's funny to hear you say he's a good person and don't want to throw away a friendship when he screws you over to benefit himself. Why do you think so lowly of yourself that you're OK with friends like that?

 

[Gromph]

1: Yeah, almost other people told me that, but he's a good person, and I don't want to throw 4 years of friendship to the trash can, the only thing I can do is not telling anymore about my feelings and relationships, it's not the first time he made that
2: Maybe I should need to do that, today it will be the last day I'm going to see her before the winter break, but it will be impossible just walk away, she's a member of my brony group, and if she choose to be with my friend, it would be hard not to hear or to see her

I don't really understand you on this part, can you please explain it?
Thanks for the help, I really appreciate it!

Seriously.. never talk again with that guy.

 

[Quirah]

Sounds likes too much trouble if you ask me, I wouldn't do it. There's always someone else out there who actually cares and is interested in you and has the same compatibility if you're patient enough. Don't let someone take the advantage of you because it comes across as that is what she's been doing to you.

Thanks for the comment. I heard she broke up with her bf yesterday, after we watched movie. lol.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

So guys, what is the best definition of putting "pussy on the pedestal?"

As in, what does a guy do that screams they are doing this? I'm asking because I feel I'm falling into this route and it's freaking hard not too (doesn't help that this is one of those ongoing women that never gives me any clear signals but still keeps talking to me)

She's hasn't been the only girl I've been pursuing this year (a lot of them have worked out, dated, had sex, usual) but this particular one has been the hard to get one, and I think there's an opportunity now, but I feel that now she's an opportunity, I'm going to pursue her too hard and hence put her on a pedestal. Which I want to avoid lol

 

[ReturnOfTheRAT]

Did anyone find out what En-ou wrote? I pm'd him and I don't think he saw it.

 

[stn]

So guys, what is the best definition of putting "pussy on the pedestal?"

Sacrificing your own mind and values (ex. agreeing with everything the girl says even if you don't want to). Letting her disrespect you without calling her out. Treating her as if she's the only reason you have to be alive.

Things like that. Though I'm honestly not a fan of the term, I feel its derogatory towards women. As long as you find a quality girl you'll never have this issue.

@Quirah
I would bail. It sounds like potential trouble. I've seen this movie a million times and it never ended well, if you know what I mean.

 

[News Bot]

Um, what.

She doesn't do second dates but she also doesn't do no strings attached sexual relationships? Wtf does she do then? Just use guys for a free ride on a first date?

Update on this, she hasn't replied since the date so I assume that the kiss was just an "I find you physically attractive but don't want you" let-them-down-easy deal.

However, I have four dates lined up. One tomorrow, one Friday and two to be decided. So that makes up for it

 

[Dragoon X Omega]

NVM, figured it out.

 

[cametall]

Not sure if this is where I should post this but my ex and I broke up back in June but lightly kept in contact (bad idea). She went back to her boyfriend before me and now they're engaged.

I feel sick, really sick. I feel like I shouldn't feel that way but I do. I should have stopped all contact I at breakup.

Had to let that out.

 

[AztecSoul]

Do not engage her until after the winter break. She may be part of your group, but it takes two to tango: You can decide to be her friend and, if you do, how much of a friend.

Yeah, you're right on this, I decided to be her friend, but on this moment I decided to distance from her during all the winter break, it could be a bad idea still talking to her normally during this process, I need to think calmly about what occurred, and appraise what I learned on this first experience, I can take care of the group 1 week before winter break's ends.

When you get something for free, no effort required, how much value do you put in it? How much value do you put in something you had to work to get?
That is basically what that means: She did not have to work for having something with you. You did. Therefore, she did not invest herself in it and has nothing to lose if she ditches you. Which she did.

I don't really don't know what I can say to this, I think I made my best effort to be with her, but as you said, she really doesn't have nothing to lose if she ditches me, which is what matters on this moment.

Lol, I'm sorry but it's funny to hear you say he's a good person and don't want to throw away a friendship when he screws you over to benefit himself. Why do you think so lowly of yourself that you're OK with friends like that?

Seriously.. never talk again with that guy.

I'm going to repeat it again guys: Yeah, he backstabbed me and I'm still mad about his actions, but that doesn't change the fact he's a friend of mine, a person with whom I shared more of 4 years of my life, I value his friendship because he has shown is a great person,he helped me on all kind of situations,and, well, I'm loyal to my friends, but now. . . I really don't know what to think anymore, today both went out, my friend only said "It was a nice day" both told me they care about my feeling, I only see the other side, for the moment I'm going to sleep, relax, and to analyze better the situation to avoid make more mistakes and hurting me more.
Once again, thanks for the help guys, I hope I can really put a end with this soon, I'm about to break really hard u,u

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

You're not loyal, you're just a pushover who's content with people using him like a carpet.

I realize it sounds harsh but reread what you said. He's a good person and now I just have to keep all relationships, thoughts, and feelings away from him so as to not cause problems... So you see the problem with that? And this isn't about getting mad or aggressive about it, that's a bad response people do to overcompensate.

The fact of the matter is, you have to have respect for yourself and it literally helps you in every facet of your life. There's always give and take in relationships but saying you have to hide who you are and your feelings should never be consider a relationship, friendship, whatever. As long as you're not being obnoxious or hurtful to people, you should be to be yourself and take pride in it. Confidence and security in yourself is a great thing and helps you constantly in your life.

 

[stn]

You're not loyal, you're just a pushover who's content with people using him like a carpet.

I realize it sounds harsh but reread what you said. He's a good person and now I just have to keep all relationships, thoughts, and feelings away from him so as to not cause problems... So you see the problem with that? And this isn't about getting mad or aggressive about it, that's a bad response people do to overcompensate.

100% this. Aztec - you are literally letting people trample over you. Everyone is nice and "loyal" when there's nothing to be gained, some people show their true colors when there is something at stake. Like your friend did. Your friend has the willingness to betray you, that in itself is bad enough.

 

[AHA-Lambda]

K guys looking for some advice here as I'm not sure how to proceed, if this is the wrong place for this please let me know, but I wasn't sure.

Basically, I hooked up with a girl at my work's xmas night out and I've seen her one more time since, it's just sex, nothing more. I ask her though, if this would be a recurring thing and she just said "depends I guess", fair enough.

Since then, just had a couple more flirty texts but nothing else, it's seems to have left another meet up as an open question, nothing certain but hinted; obviously I'd like this to be a consistent thing if I could.

Now, I feel this is becoming a power play and if I text her again first it makes me look the weak one. Do I wait or text again, what should I do? I thought booty calls would be simple :/

 

[Reavr]

K guys looking for some advice here as I'm not sure how to proceed, if this is the wrong place for this please let me know, but I wasn't sure.

Basically, I hooked up with a girl at my work's xmas night out and I've seen her one more time since, it's just sex, nothing more. I ask her though, if this would be a recurring thing and she just said "depends I guess", fair enough.

Since then, just had a couple more flirty texts but nothing else, it's seems to have left another meet up as an open question, nothing certain but hinted; obviously I'd like this to be a consistent thing if I could.

Now, I feel this is becoming a power play and if I text her again first it makes me look the weak one. Do I wait or text again, what should I do? I thought booty calls would be simple :/

My best advice is to not read into it too much, or ask too many questions about it anymore. If you're looking to make this a consistent thing, just feed off of whatever moves she makes and don't push too much. Otherwise, it'll feel like a chess match.

If she wants something plain and simple like just sex, don't make it complicated in your mind, buddy. Keep it plain and simple yourself, too.

 

[PhaZZe]

guys, i met a girl in work, we have feeling and shit, but she has a boyfriend and she doesn't want to feel bad about her relation, still, she doesn't want to lose contact with me. i'm not sure what to do. continue in contact (i still like her), or close the door forever?

sorry for my english, ask me if you dont understand.

 

[gaiages]

Ugh, I got friend-zoned, lame. The first two dates went pretty well imo, but the third date he was acting kinda distant. After talking about it a few days later, he said he didn't feel ready for a relationship, and want to remain friends instead of him trying to drag me through a relationship and him messing it up.

Nice words, but of course I have just a bit trouble believing him. This was his first time trying any kind of relationship since high school (he's 23 now), and due to the sudden change of heart and a few things I know about him, I believe he's bailing because he's really nervous about commitment. Even if that is the case though, that's fine; trying to bring the issue with such nervousness up isn't quite the solution, and could possibility make him upset, so meh.

But hey, I have no problems being friends, since he's a cool dude, and since it's only been a couple of weeks, I didn't get too emotionally invested, and we were friends before the fact anyway. I don't keep hopes up for anything continuing romantically, though. If it happens, neat, but if not, that's fine too

Don't need advice or anything, just ranting, sorry.

@PhaZZe - If the girl's already in a relationship, and is not leaving said relationship... are you okay with keeping in contact with her, even if nothing will happen in terms of you two hooking up? If so (and seriously think about it), then there shouldn't be any problems keeping contact with her; if not, you might want to let her go.

 

[Desperado]

My current partner and I met online a little over two years ago. The first time we had sex, she started crying in the middle of it. She was honest near the beginning about being depressed and having suicidal thoughts on and off. About 6 months into the relationship, she dropped out of college. Just a couple of weeks later, we found out she was pregnant (she was on the pill but we weren't using condoms). She decided to go through with the pregnancy, and her older sister and brother-in-law adopted the baby. We got engaged shortly after the baby was born (we'd been living together for a few months at that point).

Since then, we've barely had sex – the anxiety and emotional complication from everything makes it hard for me to envision being intimate with her. She continues to be depressed, have suicidal thoughts and panic attacks, and hates her body (the pregnancy and resulting changes have contributed to this, but she had significant body image issues even before the pregnancy). She quit her job about half a year ago. She's recently applied to jobs and even been hired, but didn't follow through with it. Her friends either live back home or have moved away. Her mom lives below the poverty line and can't help her financially. She barely talks to her dad.

For a long time, I thought I would be able to handle things, that if I loved her and tried hard enough, it would work out. But now I truly believe it won't. As much as I do love her and wish that we could be happy together, I don't think that us staying together is good for either of us. Even if she were to recover, I don't think I could get over all the pain we've been through these past two years. Perhaps we could try to stay together and work towards being more healthy, but I don't want to dangle that hope in front of her and then realize later that I still wouldn't be happy. In addition, I think I need to be alone for a while. I'm finishing up with school and about to embark on the beginning of my career, which is going to take a lot of hard work and energy. I barely have the ability to take care of my two cats, so how can I take care of a person? Furthermore, this is the second very serious relationship that I've been in, and both have unhealthy similarities that tell me I need to figure some things out for myself.

I've never broken up with anyone before. I'm scared of what she might do. Has anyone out there ended a relationship with someone who was suicidal?

So apparently she attempted suicide last week – she told her therapist on Tuesday, who had me check her into a hospital. I've been visiting her each day and I feel totally disconnected from her. It's so hard to see her as the person I fell in love with 2 years ago... or even the person I still loved a week ago. I just feel empty when I look at her.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

guys, i met a girl in work, we have feeling and shit, but she has a boyfriend and she doesn't want to feel bad about her relation, still, she doesn't want to lose contact with me. i'm not sure what to do. continue in contact (i still like her), or close the door forever?

sorry for my english, ask me if you dont understand.

Don't hit on a girl with a boyfriend. You can still talk to her but keep it casual and minimal. Don't flirt.

 

[Mariolee]

Hey guys, so I have crippling self doubt and I have been told that in the past I have been completely oblivious to girls' advances because I assumed no one would really like me. This time I want to change that.

I'm still pretty much an innocent child when it comes to dating and I'm looking for a sincere innocent relationship. I'm not really trying to bang anyone and I'm not really looking for a relationship, but I think one fell into my lap. I've just been studying a lot with this girl and I've really gotten into her but I'm not sure she's all that into me. I mean, on the outside it seems like she might be but again my crippling self doubt is killing me. Tell me GAF, this girl is definitely into me right?

1. We've been studying a lot together alone.
2. She was cool with meeting my friends and I've gotten to know her roommates.
3. We text each other pretty much every 15 to 30 minutes and text each other good morning pretty much every day for the last week and a half or two weeks.
4. I've asked her out alone a couple times on date-type situations that weren't actual dates I guess? We watched Insidious together at her place and talked for awhile after. Then I took her to pho last Friday night and I think we had a great time.

This ain't the usual shit you do with friends right?

 

[potam]

Hey guys, so I have crippling self doubt and I have been told that in the past I have been completely oblivious to girls' advances because I assumed no one would really like me. This time I want to change that.

I'm still pretty much an innocent child when it comes to dating and I'm looking for a sincere innocent relationship. I'm not really trying to bang anyone and I'm not really looking for a relationship, but I think one fell into my lap. I've just been studying a lot with this girl and I've really gotten into her but I'm not sure she's all that into me. I mean, on the outside it seems like she might be but again my crippling self doubt is killing me. Tell me GAF, this girl is definitely into me right?

1. We've been studying a lot together alone.
2. She was cool with meeting my friends and I've gotten to know her roommates.
3. We text each other pretty much every 15 to 30 minutes and text each other good morning pretty much every day for the last week and a half or two weeks.
4. I've asked her out alone a couple times on date-type situations that weren't actual dates I guess? We watched Insidious together at her place and talked for awhile after. Then I took her to pho last Friday night and I think we had a great time.

This ain't the usual shit you do with friends right?

If I were a betting man, I'd say yes. But, you know, everyone has different standards. What might seem like a date to you might just seem like dinner with a friend to her.

You could always ask her, and if she says no, just play it off like you were making sure you weren't leading her on. If she says yes, then, well....

 

[Layell]

Tell me GAF, this girl is definitely into me right?

Go for it, ask her if she'd like to go on a date. I had the same problem, and was more complicated because I met her as she was at the tail end of a relationship, six months after she broke up I asked her out. Best decision I made, I've been very happy since. She told me even if she didn't share feelings she wouldn't have made a huge deal about it and would have wanted to still be friends.

It sounds like she is into you, and if she doesn't reciprocate and is nice about it thank her for being gracious about it, if not then she wasn't that great a friend. Keep her around for whatever studying must be done if you can, or if not find another classmate. If she says yes then start planning a good first date.

 

[Nightbird]

GAF, i need your help.

I was supposed to have a Date with a Girl i like a few weeks ago, we wanted to go to the Cinema and eat some Sushi afterwards. She cancelled it, but instead invited me watch some Movies at her place. It's going down this Saturday, and while i was totally happy about Saturday, i just realized something. I have no fucking Idea what to do Seriously, from wich movies i have to bring with me, to how i am supposed to act, i have no clue what to do. I mean, maybe i am overthinking things, but i really want to succeed with her, and in Situatons like those i start to think a lot of nonsense, mostly what will happen if i fail.

I would really appreciate if someone would help me :/

 

[potam]

GAF, i need your help.

I was supposed to have a Date with a Girl i like a few weeks ago, we wanted to go to the Cinema and eat some Sushi afterwards. She cancelled it, but instead invited me watch some Movies at her place. It's going down this Saturday, and while i was totally happy about Saturday, i just realized something. I have no fucking Idea what to do Seriously, from wich movies i have to bring with me, to how i am supposed to act, i have no clue what to do. I mean, maybe i am overthinking things, but i really want to succeed with her, and in Situatons like those i start to think a lot of nonsense, mostly what will happen if i fail.

I would really appreciate if someone would help me :/

Yeah, you're overthinking things. If you're not gonna ask her what kind of movie to bring, I'd bring a movie that can serve as background noise. I mean, don't choose a movie which is going to require both of your attentions. Pick something you can choose to ignore and chat over.

Oh, and drinks. Bring drinks.

 

[Nightbird]

Yeah, you're overthinking things. If you're not gonna ask her what kind of movie to bring, I'd bring a movie that can serve as background noise. I mean, don't choose a movie which is going to require both of your attentions. Pick something you can choose to ignore and chat over.

Oh, and drinks. Bring drinks.

Okay, thank you, i'm gonna do that

 

[stn]

@Rainbowgun

Just bring a comedy. And something to drink, like wine or whatever. Also, sounds to me like she has the intention to get physical with you. Have fun.

 

[CatPee]

Hey peeps, I need some opinions on what "I really care about you, just not that way" means as a means of ending a relationship. That line being her rationale leaves me a bit confused. This coming after the previous weekend where we had a great time dancing together and ending with her concluding that she really liked our relationship came as a bit of a surprise too.

So yea, it seems I'm just a little taken aback by the sudden nature of it. I don't really have any qualms or hard feelings about the split since it was ultimately mutual and ended on a good note, but the line's meaning kinda haunts me, still.

 

[Nightbird]

@Rainbowgun

Just bring a comedy. And something to drink, like wine or whatever. Also, sounds to me like she has the intention to get physical with you. Have fun.

Haha, now i am excited! Some Comedy and something to drink, roger that!

 

[Pachimari]

Man, I'm not too fond of getting into these threads but I have gotten advice in here before. I'm really not sure about my relationship, especially as I am an atheist and my girlfriend from Asia is strongly believing in God. I have also met her friends from church who came by today for early Christmas, and it ends with being kind of like a therapy group were they supposedly share private stuff.

So my girlfriend shared with them, that we haven't had sex for a while, and I just don't see the point in sharing that. I also got furious about her friend, because she demanded I should answer them when we are gonna get married, where I let my girlfriend do the talking instead, because I didn't see the need to share anything private.

It's just making me really annoyed at this moment. And there's just always trouble when it comes to the religion.

We have been together for 3 years and we are both 26 years (living together), but it's just so freaking hard tolerating all the talk about God and Jesus here in my apartment. Especially when one of her friends tell me that she have gotten the gift, that she can see the future of people and everybody fucking believes it.

Grr, just needed to vent it out.

[Edit]
Honestly, I think I'm only with her because I'm afraid to be alone. We have so many arguments and differences.

 

[GK86]

Hey peeps, I need some opinions on what "I really care about you, just not that way" means as a means of ending a relationship. That line being her rationale leaves me a bit confused. This coming after the previous weekend where we had a great time dancing together and ending with her concluding that she really liked our relationship came as a bit of a surprise too.

So yea, it seems I'm just a little taken aback by the sudden nature of it. I don't really have any qualms or hard feelings about the split since it was ultimately mutual and ended on a good note, but the line's meaning kinda haunts me, still.

I view it as one of those classic lines. Along the lines of "its not you, its me" or "I don't want to ruin our friendship."

In other words, bs.

 

[billiam]

So apparently she attempted suicide last week – she told her therapist on Tuesday, who had me check her into a hospital. I've been visiting her each day and I feel totally disconnected from her. It's so hard to see her as the person I fell in love with 2 years ago... or even the person I still loved a week ago. I just feel empty when I look at her.

wow that's tough for you to go through. can't speak from personal experience but as you figured, it would be best to tread carefully. she is already in an emotionally fragile state; having said that, you do need to end things. you've already admitted to losing feeling for her, and it wont be long until you start to resent her - for your previous experiences with her, her behavior, and relationship going forward. it wont be healthy for either of you to continue. she may even be 'acting out' because she senses the relationship is failing/failed. i would talk with her therapist if you can and explain you want to end the relationship. i assume he/she would have better insight and would be able to monitor her more closely in the interim. good luck with things

 

[billiam]

Hey guys, so I have crippling self doubt and I have been told that in the past I have been completely oblivious to girls' advances because I assumed no one would really like me. This time I want to change that.

I'm still pretty much an innocent child when it comes to dating and I'm looking for a sincere innocent relationship. I'm not really trying to bang anyone and I'm not really looking for a relationship, but I think one fell into my lap. I've just been studying a lot with this girl and I've really gotten into her but I'm not sure she's all that into me. I mean, on the outside it seems like she might be but again my crippling self doubt is killing me. Tell me GAF, this girl is definitely into me right?

1. We've been studying a lot together alone.
2. She was cool with meeting my friends and I've gotten to know her roommates.
3. We text each other pretty much every 15 to 30 minutes and text each other good morning pretty much every day for the last week and a half or two weeks.
4. I've asked her out alone a couple times on date-type situations that weren't actual dates I guess? We watched Insidious together at her place and talked for awhile after. Then I took her to pho last Friday night and I think we had a great time.

This ain't the usual shit you do with friends right?

sounds like you guys have an unofficial relationship budding. as said, you could straight ask her out BUT i would not try to pin her down on your relationship status. just let things flow. if you arent sure to make as direct a move, you can suggest a group date with an 'established' couple and see how she reacts. just dont push/pressure her. youll be good