Is it wrong to look if someone is showing cleavage?
- Thread starter Bronetta
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Rawket Lawnchair
Member
My mistake, I missed that comment.
I'm sorry, I think you're either projecting or have misunderstood what he is saying. The phrase "sexual response" does not necessarily and singularly mean that it's "ok for men to come up to you and say sexual remarks about you" - in fact, no one here (well, no one except genjiZERO, and it can even be argued that genjiZERO's comments have a basis on reality [the sexual characteristics part, not the advertising part]) explicitly said that cleavage means it's OK to go and verbally harass someone or that a woman showing cleavage means she is a free for all and she's inviting all males in the vicinity to hump her legs.
In this particular case, the peeking and the appreciation (even the staring) is the sexual response, plain and simple. Looking at something or "staring" at something you like and is beautiful, can be a sexual response. If that weren't true, fashion and erotic magazines with enticing covers would have been out of print long ago.
And from my (anecdotal) experience, women who show a tremendous amount of cleavage, do want to be looked at - and there's nothing wrong about that. I'm 27 years old, have a girlfriend for the last 5 and a half years, been in school, universities and work environments just like everyone else, and in all these environments have never seen a woman showing serious cleavage but not wanting to show it. For me it's that simple. There are hundreds of thousands of clothes out there that do not show cleavage, just as there are hundreds of thousands of clothes that show cleavage. There may be many valid reasons for a woman to pick the latter clothes over the former (even if the former are perfectly classy and do not make them look like nuns; I mean, my girlfriend and former female colleagues certainly never looked like nuns) but then complaining that people look at their cleavage when it's up there for the world to see, is mind-boggling.
If peeking at something obvious is harassing, maybe we should invent an eye police while we're at it.
And with this said, I am out of the topic as it's getting weird.
BreezyLimbo
Banned
Those are alot of excuses for wanting to say that showing cleavage means you want unwanted attention. I'm fine with peeking. I'm fine with looking at boobs if you read my earlier posts. However there's a difference between looking, and making inappropriate comments(IE If they show cleavage then they're asking for sexual remarks), or making someone feel uncomfortable just because of the clothing they wear. And yeah, you're making the topic pretty weird.
One doesn't have to verbally harass a woman to make her feel incredibly uncomfortable, I just wanted to point that out.
My wife's boobs are always teasing me, pushed up to the point they're almost out, drives me mad. She admits her outfits were part of her arsenal to please me, but before then she hated the attention but enjoyed looking good, regardless of the trouble it brought. So yes, she accepts men are a certain way, but she didn't go out of her way to attract guys, until it was one she wanted. Its complicated lol.
30DD, i can feel them when she hugs me, she doesn't like hugging guys for that reason too.
30DD, i can feel them when she hugs me, she doesn't like hugging guys for that reason too.
Thanks for the link, I needed to laugh this morning.
You should not look. While some may be showing cleavage for attention, that is not the sole reason. But women, please realize that not everyone has VIP access to boobs and seeing some cleavage is like seeing a unicorn to some. That doesn't make staring right, but many lack that particular strength.
Even that can be a problem depending on context. I've been yelled at lost in thougt when wstaring at the scenery through a window above someones head on a long trip. As a general rule keep eye contact when talking to a person and generally don't stare at people for longs periods of time people watching and you are fine.
I don't think I was advocating any of those things.
BreezyLimbo
Banned
No but you're advocating that a woman shouldn't wear something sexy unless they want sexual responses, because then it's ok to respond like that, right?
Well, sure there are plenty of buxom women in real life, but the same problem still remains.
Well, obviously it's rude to stare and if you're making some woman uncomfortable you should definitely stop, but I was mainly referring to women who act confused or surprised when people do stare.
...Scatter...
Banned
It's a god damn trick situation my boy. First you have to figure out who she's trying to impress. If it's you, congratulations you're allowed to look. If not intended for you, then you're just a creep.
If you're attractive, it doesn't matter, you can get away with that shit regardless for a second or two.
If you're her boss, ABORT, ABORT! That shit will land you in HR in a heartbeat.
Most importantly, act like you've seen a set. Don't get all Roger Rabbit on that shit.
If you're attractive, it doesn't matter, you can get away with that shit regardless for a second or two.
If you're her boss, ABORT, ABORT! That shit will land you in HR in a heartbeat.
Most importantly, act like you've seen a set. Don't get all Roger Rabbit on that shit.
2 Slice Toaster
Member
Act like you've been there.
In her cleave?
Not only this, but women are also guilty of looking at men. Especially if men are wearing tight fitting trousers. There's even adverts in the UK that play off that fact. Yeah sure it's not showing any skin, but it's still looking and staring at someone elses body. Besides, I don't think it'd be such a huge deal had humanity never started wearing clothes. For some reason (I would imagine it's around the time the world became incredibly religious) humanity got incredibly prudish about the human body and sex itself. Sexual or not, everyone has a body and rather than feeling shameful about it or embarrased people should just accept that the human body is the most natural thing about us and we should embrace it. Love the human body, it's what makes us who we are. Around the time we became prudish about the human body is about the time homophobia started as well.
sooperkool
Member
Looking at them is fine just don't talk to them.
Crabernacle
Member
A glance and no more. You're almost never as smooth as you think.
You sure about that? Because I can pull up a half-dozen posts from this thread with posters that not only do they openly look, but they don't have a problem with it because if a woman didn't want them to look "she wouldn't be advertising her tits."
Portugeezer
Member
lmao
Why you think bono always wears sunglasses? Cleavage staring 24/7A glance and no more. You're almost never as smooth as you think.
A glance and no more. You're almost never as smooth as you think.
Is that from Superbad?
blame space
Banned
yes oblivion, that is from the hit motion picture Superbad.
Not all of us watch critically acclaimed films, blame space.
I don't think anyone is confused or surprised. We're just saying that our motivation behind wearing a shirt that shows cleavage isn't always going to be to get men's attention.
Horse Detective
Why the long case?
I would say it is wrong to stare but if you weren't supposed to look, I don't really know the point.
Just don't stare?
Just don't stare?
The social network.
But do you? Have you ever precisely asked for permission? And if she granted you permission are you sure it was permanent and not just temporary? Maybe have a talk with your lawyer
ThoughtsOfSpeaking
Banned
If you have big old titties and wear a low cut top im going to look.
If you are hung like a horse and wear tight pants im going to look too.
Its nothing to do with perversion - im just nosey.
If you are hung like a horse and wear tight pants im going to look too.
Its nothing to do with perversion - im just nosey.
Moff
Member
the second one is wrong though, rape has nothing to do with how people dress, we know that. it's simply a wrong statement and a very important point when we talk about victim blaming in rape.
you can't however stare at cleavage if there is no cleavage available, so the 2 situations could not be any more different and comparing it really is just off and insulting and in many ways just trivialises rape while trying to make people who disagree with you as evil as possible.
staring at cleavage is completely harmless and honestly just makes the starer look like a fool without control.
the teasing with cleavage is just a small part of the grand gender social game we have to play today because we have millennia of completely fucked up gender role history behind us. the seinfeld rule is the best way to act, but of course anyone with a minimum of decency and social awareness has always done it like that.
T
Transhuman
Unconfirmed Member
..and you can't rape when there's no person to rape. There are people who literally say things like "what was she doing out by herself", "why did they drink so much", and your comments are pretty much in line with those. You're saying "well if she didn't want people to stare at her cleavage like she's a piece of meat in a butcher shop, maybe she should have covered up" which leads to "well if she didn't want people whistling at her when she walks by, maybe she should have just stayed home". The onus shouldn't be on women to not be harassed, it should be on everyone else to not harass.
Bingo.
teruterubozu
Member
LOL. Classic.
Moff
Member
actually no, that's not what I was saying at all. feel free to read my whole post. I absolutely do not want to live in a world where women need to cover themselves up because they get harrassed.
absolutely
I'm currently in talks with GirlGAF and the board White Knight Brigade to see if I'm overstepping my bounds and whether my wife is even allowed to give me access even if she agrees. I thought this would be prudent before even consulting the lawyers. Apparently her boobs belong to all women and they are threatening to sue.
Irresistable Thing
Member
Stare all you want. Just make sure you give her the nod of approval afterwards.
speculawyer
Member
Oh, just shoot me. I saw a Cadillac commercial using the lyrics from The Clash's song Brand New Cadillac. I guess that is what happens when you are dead.
speculawyer
Member
Oh what the hell . . . the Kings guy was holding just as much.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
Exploratory
Banned
Wtf is going on in this thread. It seems like were living in absolutes people. I definitely believe if you wear a super low cut shirt you either want people to look at your breasts or you want a specific person to look. Maybe you just do it because its comfortable or its fashionable but I genuinely don't believe that's the majority of the time. And if it is you have to know people are going to look.
Now on the other hand that doesn't give you the right to stare, it doesn't give you the right to say harass someone, etc. Whats everyone arguing about beyond that?
We don't live in a world of absolutes and black and whites. It is a fairly large jump to go from "I think if you're wearing a revealing piece of clothing you should expect people to look" to "I think if you walk outside with a low cut shirt you should expect and accept getting harassed on the street". One of those things is victim blaming the other isn't.
-Stranger-
Junior Member
I stare at my GF cleavage all the time.
She thinks I'm a pervert
She thinks I'm a pervert
hendersonhank
Member
This is insane logic.
A person being present, or being alone, or drinking, doesn't have any connection to whistling or raping.
Something being visible means it's being looked at. Pretty much by definition. Exposing your cleavage necessarily means it's visible and being seen. Getting mad when something you choose to display is looked at is goofy.
It might be rude, but yes, you actually DO have the right to stare.
This is a terrible analogy
It's actually not goofy at all.
Staring in general is considered rude, socially.
Especially so is staring at a specific body part. I mean, we teach children all the time not to stare. At boobs, at paraplegics, at the homeless etc. We tell them it's rude and it makes people feel uncomfortable.
But for some reason women have to deal with this idea that not only is ok to stare at their chest, but if they're wearing a shirt that doesn't completely cover it, then they're asking for it.
SillyEskimo
Member
I asked my wife this question (since she has huge, beautiful round fucking titties) and she said glace, don't stare. She catches everyone sneaking a peek. Men and women, young and old. Only the rude ones stare!
She doesn't mind, and she glances at other women's cleavage too.
She doesn't mind, and she glances at other women's cleavage too.
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