Sword Familiar
178% of NeoGAF posters don't understand statistics
I can imagine it's more like, you realize you've been a wizard all along. Your power being that you're extremely good at making potential mates disappear.
When you hit 30 as a virgin, you become a wizard. But what kind of wizard?
- Thread starter Burger_Baron
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is this going to be the new "I don't know how much you know about x (I'm an expert)"
Spider from Mars
tap that thorax
I'll sleep with anyone who wants to lose their V card. Just send me a pm. According to this thread, I'll have a busy 2015.
moltonasty
Member
this gif in response to that post made my day!
JinjoUnchained
Member
Where's AtheistGAF to remind us that religion, wizards, and magic aren't real and the people who believe in them should go fuck themselves rather than continue to ruin society? Or do they only shit on ideas that make them feel rebellious against their parents?
Anyway, if you wanted to get laid and made it to 30 without getting anyway, then you should get something out of it. Maybe not a fire spell or laser vision, but something more convenient. Like a fast pass for fast food lines. Or a very limited form of psychic abilities where you can tell which Marvel movies will suck ahead of time.
Do I get anything for making it to 30 without doing drugs?
Anyway, if you wanted to get laid and made it to 30 without getting anyway, then you should get something out of it. Maybe not a fire spell or laser vision, but something more convenient. Like a fast pass for fast food lines. Or a very limited form of psychic abilities where you can tell which Marvel movies will suck ahead of time.
Do I get anything for making it to 30 without doing drugs?
thanks for the laugh, damn I needed that.
Tornado Condor
Member
Mostly the becoming a wizard when you're a virgin part.
this is probably more true than many are willing to admit.
More like wishful thinking.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
is it?
You just sound like a huge pompous, disillusioned asshole which is why you are most likely still a virgin btw.
People have to cope somehow. See the post I quoted for a perfect example.
exmachina64
Banned
This was so true for me. In retrospect, I could have lost my virginity at 16.
kingwingin
Member
my thoughts exactly after reading that.
People are all different. Im sure everybody has their reasons.
Of course. But most talk about people being "better" than others or having high standards as a reason for being a virgin is self delusional bullshit. You are a virgin because you don't socialize enough period.
I barely have standards at this point.
Me_Marcadet
Member
Haha, I didn't mean I would be boss at sex, but I'm pretty confident I will be okay and make the partner happy wich is a win in my book, and from what I hear it's better than a lot of people who have sex regularly. And because I didn't have sex yet doesn't mean I didn't ever have romantic interaction. I love the attention my post is getting and I'm laughing a lot but I don't want to let people think I'm pretending to be the god of sex. I know my shortcomings and the first time will not be the best sex ever, but I mean it to be at least a pleasant moment with both parties happy.
If you want a correct comparaison, try the one where I will start playing basket ball competitively for the first time. I never played it yet, but I saw lot of games, fiddled with some basket ball and took basic advice on how to shoot, discussed with lot of players and read a lot about tactics, plus I'm already a pretty good volley ball player and got the athletic build for it. I'm pretty sure that I would be better than lot of amateur basket ball players if I joined a local team. Of course I will not be the best and I will sit on the bench for most of the season, but I'm here to learn and enjoy myself, not be the MVP.
Wow, hold on a second here. I was partially joking with my post. Seriously, with all the virgins shaming and joke about them, I thank it would be fun to make this post. Keep in mind english is not my first language so I'm more straightforward that I would be like. You should also not that I don't think I'm superior to anyone and that I don't belittle others, I just want to enjoy myself and have fun with what has been given to me at birth. If someone feels offended by my post, I sincerly apologize. I just want to make people feel good and have a laugh.
Gotta admire your extreme optimism at least. Buy I gotta tell you, wacking off for 20 years doesn't you a good lover for anybody but yourself.
SOON
Thank you for this wonderful post.
Subbed for the inevitable FreeMufasa post in this thread.
Vulcano's assistant
Banned
Me_Marcadet shall not be taken for conjuror of cheap tricks.That's some magic post, if I've seen one.
Me_Marcadet
Member
How would you know this ? How can you judge me without knowing my experiences and my true personnality ? You got introduced to me with an online persona I made just for fun (while a lot of things I said are truthfull)
Of course, this is very true. You need to understand that some events in people's life don't make that easy without huge sacrifices.
I have a physical night job (unloading trucks and lifting weights all night) with only dudes, when I commute I only see dudes because I go to work in the evening, during the day I'm tired and focus all my energy on volley ball (two to three training a week + one game saturday night), when I play volley ball I socialyze also mostly with dudes. I don't want to sacrifice my sport because right now it makes me happy and I would certainly become very frustrated and angry if I couldn't play it in order to maintain an healthy relationship.
I also don't have a lot of money and I love spending a lot and enjoying myself when I go out (like 50-100€
so I can't do it often, but when I do it I have no problem socialyzing and hook up with girls. When the party's over, I just feel empty because I spend way too much and I just won a hang over and not became a better person, I rather spend that money on other things or save it.If you really worry about me, you shall know that I will soon take on a daily job who will be less tiring and I would have finally the time to put some focus on my love life and start learning how this all works. I'm just a very laid back dude and don't take myself very seriously. Yes, I love myself and until recently my most fearfull thought was that I couldn't even romantically love someone else someday. When I found out it wasn't true and got my first broken heart, I could finally be happy and kept working on myself.
It's fine if you find me miserable or you pity me, but please, don't be mistaken by thinking I'm a pompous delusional being just because of one semi joke post, that's not true.
grap3fruitman
Banned
What an insightful and informative opinion.
I think many would choose butts over no butts but I think the point of this thread is to try and make the best out of a bad situation.
Warming: this turned out to be a really depressing post.
Turned 23 a few weeks ago, spent my birthday in my room, sleeping most of the time. It's a day I've come to hate because it's a big reminder that "hey, you're still a virgin and you've never had a girlfriend". For me it's not just about wanting to have sex (which it is), but also forming close relationships with people. Every year I get older makes it that bit more awkward when my friends are talking about sex or someone asks why I don't have a girlfriend.
I'm not hideously ugly but not good looking enough for someone to wanna sleep with me based on physical attraction so never had any success at parties or clubs. Don't have a problem talking to girls, have plenty of female friends but nothing ever goes anywhere. I've always had this thing where if I like someone I try to hide all signs of that because I assume the feelings won't be mutual and it will ruin the friendship if they knew. At some point I extended this mindset to all girls so even if I don't have feelings for them I am careful not to do anything that might indicate otherwise. I think this is the biggest thing that has stopped me getting close to people.
I feel like I've heard everything there is to hear about working on confidence and self esteem but I'm so set in my ways that change feels impossible. Just feels like I am destined to be alone. This has been the worst year of my life, only think that's stops me trying to kill myself at the moment is the thought of how it would affect my family.
Happy new year everyone!
Turned 23 a few weeks ago, spent my birthday in my room, sleeping most of the time. It's a day I've come to hate because it's a big reminder that "hey, you're still a virgin and you've never had a girlfriend". For me it's not just about wanting to have sex (which it is), but also forming close relationships with people. Every year I get older makes it that bit more awkward when my friends are talking about sex or someone asks why I don't have a girlfriend.
I'm not hideously ugly but not good looking enough for someone to wanna sleep with me based on physical attraction so never had any success at parties or clubs. Don't have a problem talking to girls, have plenty of female friends but nothing ever goes anywhere. I've always had this thing where if I like someone I try to hide all signs of that because I assume the feelings won't be mutual and it will ruin the friendship if they knew. At some point I extended this mindset to all girls so even if I don't have feelings for them I am careful not to do anything that might indicate otherwise. I think this is the biggest thing that has stopped me getting close to people.
I feel like I've heard everything there is to hear about working on confidence and self esteem but I'm so set in my ways that change feels impossible. Just feels like I am destined to be alone. This has been the worst year of my life, only think that's stops me trying to kill myself at the moment is the thought of how it would affect my family.
Happy new year everyone!
*hugs
have you ever played basketball? this comparison makes no sense.
freenudemacusers
Member
lich king or possibly a planeswalker
exmachina64
Banned
You're only 23, you can overcome this. Whatever support you need, GAF's here for you.
this is straight bullshit. Looks have very little to do with attraction, especially for men. Groom yourself well, keep a nice place, dress well for your body/social circle, learn how to talk to people. What you actually look like naked under a fluorescent light is not what people look for in a mate.
speculawyer
Member
People do what you want. I don't see the point of abstaining. Here's this fun thing that doesn't make you fat, isn't bad for your health (as long as you practice safe sex), and is free. Why not?
But if you don't want to do it, fine. Whatever.
John Kowalski
Banned
you get holy and demi
hipbabboom
Huh? What did I say? Did I screw up again? :(
Slightly off-topic:
Is there any works of fiction baring the moniker of "30 years a virgin" in existence?
Is there any works of fiction baring the moniker of "30 years a virgin" in existence?
Circle Jerk
Member
People arent assuming youre a pompous douche based on one post. Its all your posts. You sound like an idiot. And also you cant call it a joke post when you keep adding "but its all totally true as well" at the end.
Me_Marcadet
Member
People do what you want. I don't see the point of abstaining. Here's this fun thing that doesn't make you fat, isn't bad for your health (as long as you practice safe sex), and is free. Why not?
But if you don't want to do it, fine. Whatever.
To make things even clearer, I never said I abstain and refuse to have sex. It's just that having sex or a relationship is not my top priority and my job and hobbies which I am very passionate about are taking my full energy and focus. My point is that you could have a happy life without sex, and I didn't want to sound over dramatic or depressing when exposing this point. Now I feel shitty because I feel forced to explained a joke
@Bread
Could you tell me why I would suck at basketball ?
I'm genuinely curious and want to be informed. I know some basketball players who started playing volleyball pretty late (like 32 years old) and be good at it, so I don't really see why I would be bad if I started to train with a team.
Well, I should definitively stop trying to be humorous, sex and virginity is a serious thing and I'm an idiot, thanks man
John Kowalski
Banned
there's a shoujo manga called 30 year old virgin if you're into that
it's about a girl who's a virgin at 29, i believe
If your standards are really that low, you could hookup by the end of the week on OK Cupid.
wondermega
Member
Come on. Parties are cool, they only suck if you are not used to them and fairly socially inhibited/anxious (there is nothing wrong with being this way, btw). You just need to get used to it.. but nowadays it gets easier and easier to get half-assed social interaction instead and
therefore dealing with the hurdles of the real thing can seem lame. It takes some work just like anything else.
The point is we are extremely social animals by nature, we crave culture and community, connection. Anyone who honestly disagrees with this is lying to themselves else they wouldn't be participating in this 10 page thread on the matter on a social discussion forum! They'd be chilling in the woods or the desert by themselves stalking and killing wild animals or something..
Chemistry and connection with each other is part of what makes us human, and so is the difficulty and awkwardness of finding exactly what group we belong with, what mate we may find. That's what makes us special and why it is so important - that promotes diversity of culture and variety, as opposed to homogenization which is really the enemy. And it's a danger even with places like gaf which, while very enriching to all of our lives in many ways, can also be an echo chamber. That's not a good thing.
So go outside. Go do shit that makes you feel a little uncomfortable. Be glad that you at least have the option to do such things, and when you start to see why it's cool it can be very enlightening. Being LTTP to a social life can be harsh in some ways but there's plenty of us who struggle with it in many different ways in spite of the faces we put on. We are all in it together
wondermega
Member
Dude don't ruin my day
I was horribly lonely forever and some random girl drunkely took advantage of me when I was at an also-random party when I was 22. We went back to her dorm room and did it and my brain and cock said "oh shit so that's what it is, ehhh.." Don't give up in yourself, you sound like a cool guy. If you live in LA I'd drag you out for a beer Now try to lighten up about being all up in your own head about all women everywhere and losing their friendship potentially - who cares! You don't need to have a bunch of them as friends. Aahhh, I'm gonna go get a cheeseburger.Out of Working Order
Member
Why? What's funny about it?
Hope you manage to sort yourself out. Admirable also that you'd prefer to find a relationship and aren't just chasing casual sex (not that there's anything wrong with that).
I understand this. I wish I was forced to go out more when I was a lot younger. But as far back as I can remember, I've always been alone/excluded. One of my earliest memories was of being sat behind a curtain separate from the class, crying, whilst the rest were being told a story. I think it just perfectly sums up how I have always felt. At school I was a loner, and any groups I tried to befriend, I'd be called the 'tag along'.
I have considered seeing a prostitute, but it doesn't address my problem at all. I'd be paying for something people frequently enjoy because they're attractive to somebody else. The person I'd be paying would not want to be there with me having sex. I'd feel just as empty coming out of the experience as I had done going in.
Same here. I am just sat here for another new year with nothing to do, whilst everyone else is out having fun with friends (and possibly hooking up), or enjoying the night with their partners. I have become locked in and lonely. I have 0 friends or acquaintances that call me up to do things, and never have had. How can you ever get laid when you aren't exposed to women in social situations?
My issues are not only that I don't know how to flirt or attract women, but the complete inability to attract and befriend people in general. I am completely trapped and broken. I will be killing myself this year, because I have had enough.
I really do hope you can fix yourself Kinggi. You seem to be trying to improve yourself. Just to let you know, I know exactly how you feel. I am angry. Angry at myself and the situation I am in - not really at people or anyone in particular. Sometimes it comes out as lashing out at others, but I am not angry at them. Just frustrated by the situation I've found myself in.
Crash Station
Member
Come on. Parties are cool, they only suck if you are not used to them and fairly socially inhibited/anxious (there is nothing wrong with being this way, btw). You just need to get used to it.. but nowadays it gets easier and easier to get half-assed social interaction instead and
therefore dealing with the hurdles of the real thing can seem lame. It takes some work just like anything else.
The point is we are extremely social animals by nature, we crave culture and community, connection. Anyone who honestly disagrees with this is lying to themselves else they wouldn't be participating in this 10 page thread on the matter on a social discussion forum! They'd be chilling in the woods or the desert by themselves stalking and killing wild animals or something..
Chemistry and connection with each other is part of what makes us human, and so is the difficulty and awkwardness of finding exactly what group we belong with, what mate we may find. That's what makes us special and why it is so important - that promotes diversity of culture and variety, as opposed to homogenization which is really the enemy. And it's a danger even with places like gaf which, while very enriching to all of our lives in many ways, can also be an echo chamber. That's not a good thing.
So go outside. Go do shit that makes you feel a little uncomfortable. Be glad that you at least have the option to do such things, and when you start to see why it's cool it can be very enlightening. Being LTTP to a social life can be harsh in some ways but there's plenty of us who struggle with it in many different ways in spite of the faces we put on. We are all in it together
I don't take issue with your post as a whole, but there are definitely levels of introversion that make the bolded not entirely true. For many, socializing via text only is a lot more comfortable because there's more planning and whatnot (a reason texting is more prominent than calling these days), but for some, it has less to do with comfort and discomfort and more to do with any number of factors like convenience, less commitment (specifically talking about forums here, not texting your friends/SO/whatever), etc.
Always good to keep in mind others circumstances.
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