Ask her to go out on a date. A real date. Something not so easily seen as two friends hanging out. Whatever her answer, you'll know where you stand.
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
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Ask her to go out on a date. A real date. Something not so easily seen as two friends hanging out. Whatever her answer, you'll know where you stand.
J
Jpop
Unconfirmed Member
So the girl I was seeing, we never made it official, broke up with me last Sunday.
She said she didn't like how our relationship was going and wasn't happy with it. She then told me that I shouldn't hate myself and should treat myself with kindness and respect like I did with her.
Honestly though it was just a month fling, and while I did like her, I think it is not fair to attempt a real relationship when you are still trying to figure things out for yourself.
On the bright side a girl I met and fell in love with Freshman year in college is coming to visit a few friends and I next week. So I am unbelievably excited about that, it has been a year since I last saw her!
She said she didn't like how our relationship was going and wasn't happy with it. She then told me that I shouldn't hate myself and should treat myself with kindness and respect like I did with her.
Honestly though it was just a month fling, and while I did like her, I think it is not fair to attempt a real relationship when you are still trying to figure things out for yourself.
On the bright side a girl I met and fell in love with Freshman year in college is coming to visit a few friends and I next week. So I am unbelievably excited about that, it has been a year since I last saw her!
IISANDERII
Member
Yes we did talk of recent tests and birth control, that's why it's now an issue of trust because if i suggest condoms, then it seems like i think she's lied.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
is she saying she's on birth control, or what? you're not giving much context here. what would you have talked about that cemented no need for condoms?
just saying you want to use'm shouldnt be a trust issue, she isn't your girlfriend yet, unless she is?
Birth control is not foolproof, double protection is better.
And so what if her tests were negative? How recent are they? Tests are also not 100% foolproof.
In essence, you don't need to justify your condom use. JusT take them out before the deed. If she questions why you would want to use a condom, or refuses to do it with a condom, then I would consider that a red flag
^ Yeah, for real, what those guys have said. If she gets mad, just tell her you want to make sure she doesn't get pregnant? It really shouldn't be a "trust" issue. If it turns into that, that's honestly a big problem.
On my end, I'm still getting along great with this guy. We've spent some time together every day since Friday, and aren't sick of each other, so neat! Looks like we've both passed the "friends test" too, haha (I know my friends like him, and I believe his best friend liked me). I think I'll allow myself to get excited now
On my end, I'm still getting along great with this guy. We've spent some time together every day since Friday, and aren't sick of each other, so neat! Looks like we've both passed the "friends test" too, haha (I know my friends like him, and I believe his best friend liked me). I think I'll allow myself to get excited now
Rafa=FedKilla
Banned
Asking a girl out at her work? That's some game right there brah.
question for dating gaf, got setup by a friend with a girl in another city. Spoke with her on the phone for an hour yesterday which was good. Agreed to meet up with her late next week when she is in town for coffee
my dilemma is, should i keep the lines of communication open until we meetup? i'm not sure if i should message her today or if that would seem too eager.....
my dilemma is, should i keep the lines of communication open until we meetup? i'm not sure if i should message her today or if that would seem too eager.....
True Savior
Member
Because of what'sapp and instant messaging that's usually what happens. People communicate (not phone calls though) a lot before actually meet. I think i've known more about girls before i met them than about some of my friends. But its your choice really. Depends on how that conversation went. Myself , i try to avoid it. Just chatting for the sake of it , it might become disinteresting. I only do it if it's related to something we previously talked.
Sequence Six
Member
I pretty much agree with this.
Don't worry about seeming eager so much as seeming like you're forcing it. Talking for an hour before a blind date is pretty solid! You probably know a few things about her that could give you a reason to throw her a text over the next week. This early, though, let a reason come naturally.
ClosingADoor
Member
Don't text too much. Maybe after the weekend, asking how hers went. But keep the conversations for the actual date.
CherryWoodFuton
Member
In person and be as honest and as tact as possible
I've seen a girl that I met on OKCupid 4 times now over 2 weeks and we have probably spent more time together with clothes off than on. It's all super comfortable and just a lot of fun. One of us has spent the night with the other every time except for our first date. She told me that no one has turned her on more last night which made me feel awesome.
There was a girl that went cold on me that I posted about last month (I said that I thought she was worth some pursuit) that I got to come back around through some DMs on Twitter and after some busy weekends it looks like we are doing dinner at my place tomorrow night. I've gone from being really excited to see her again to just following through to see if there might be something there but I can't deny the connection that i'm building with the other girl.
There was a girl that went cold on me that I posted about last month (I said that I thought she was worth some pursuit) that I got to come back around through some DMs on Twitter and after some busy weekends it looks like we are doing dinner at my place tomorrow night. I've gone from being really excited to see her again to just following through to see if there might be something there but I can't deny the connection that i'm building with the other girl.
I usually do it in person, but I've been on 3 dates with this girl. You still think it's necessary?
ClosingADoor
Member
Depends on how many dates and such. Only went out like two or three times? I'd say texting is fine. Just something like "I think you're a great person, but I'm not ready to commit to something right now and that would be unfair to you." Or however you want to put how you feel about it.
Texting is fine. Or a phone call if you want. No point in wasting more of her or your time on it.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Just the advice I needed. It's like I needed to hear it from someone else for it to make sense.
I've been seeing this woman for almost 2 months now. We're not official or anything and have been out a handful of times. The last time we saw each other was a concert the Thursday before Mother's day. So the past 3 weekends she's been busy with family events: Mother's day weekend festivities, then a party with her brothers, and last weekend a camping trip for her birthday with close friends. I've only asked her out during the week for the concert because otherwise doesn't work with our schedules. Anyways, I asked her if she was free this upcoming weekend and she said she wasn't. We had a pleasant goodnight text right after that, so that seemed fine enough. And aside from sending a single text yesterday morning saying to have a good day and enjoy the nice weather, I haven't talked to her since then.
I think she's doing a Mud Run this weekend, so I might ask her about that tomorrow. I think giving her some space at this time is the best option for both of us.
Well, I did it. She took it poorly but I needed to be alone and single for a while.
Does anyone have any suggestions for meeting people organically? Friends and women. I'm tired of online dating.
Meetup.com is frequently recommended. Find a group, go to some meetings, make friends!
Also try local coffee shops and bars. If not for the people inside, then usually they'll have flyers for goings-ons around town. Attend some events!
Finally, just talk to random people. Make smalltalk in the checkout line or bus stop. Show a little friendliness towards others, you get it in return!
I totally hear you on that I've been on a break from online dating myself since February for reasons similar to yours.
The most common ones you're always going to get are finding common interest/activity groups on meetup.com, GAF meet ups, volunteering at events/cons, attending cons/local area events, etc.
I can tell you that from personal experience, volunteering at events and working at cons, I've made a ton of friends there in addition to at GAF meet ups. Staying in contact with women I met in person that I wanted to date has been...harder to say the least.
Thanks, guys. I've signed up for meetup a while ago but never had the courage to go to my first meetup. It's strange because I've dated a bunch of strangers online, but groups make me a bit more nervous.
I'll try it. Good call on volunteering. Tried finding a spot to volunteer at Comicon in July but it looks like they aren't taking any more people :/. I'll keep looking.
I'll try it. Good call on volunteering. Tried finding a spot to volunteer at Comicon in July but it looks like they aren't taking any more people :/. I'll keep looking.
MonorailCat
Member
I'm in the same boat. I have zero problems meeting 1 on 1, but groups are harder. And I always fear that most of them know each other already and I am the odd one out which will make it even harder.
Gah, been a shitty week dating wise:
1) The girl I went on a couple of dates with is taking a long time to respond to texts and seems busy, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say she's no longer interested.
2) I texted the girl I met on tinder to see if she wanted to play tennis, been a couple hours and no response. I saw she logged on to tinder an hour ago, so she's done me there.
3) Just had a first date with a girl that I definitely liked, but I had more trouble keeping the conversation going than I expected. I was a bit nervous too and the whole situation bummed me out royally. Usually when I say goodbye I say something like "Hope to see you again soon" but I didn't bother this time. I think she did well to stick with me for 90 minutes.
I generally feel like I've been getting better socially in the past year or so, I'm a little less quiet and feel a lot more comfortable at work, but dating is still difficult. I joined a soccer league and might try some meetups to get better at being with new people.
1) The girl I went on a couple of dates with is taking a long time to respond to texts and seems busy, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say she's no longer interested.
2) I texted the girl I met on tinder to see if she wanted to play tennis, been a couple hours and no response. I saw she logged on to tinder an hour ago, so she's done me there.
3) Just had a first date with a girl that I definitely liked, but I had more trouble keeping the conversation going than I expected. I was a bit nervous too and the whole situation bummed me out royally. Usually when I say goodbye I say something like "Hope to see you again soon" but I didn't bother this time. I think she did well to stick with me for 90 minutes.
I generally feel like I've been getting better socially in the past year or so, I'm a little less quiet and feel a lot more comfortable at work, but dating is still difficult. I joined a soccer league and might try some meetups to get better at being with new people.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
There's no easy way to handle this. I noticed the same delay with the current person I'm seeing. It does seem like she's busy and has a lot to do, so I've backed off for the past day and a half. In my case I don't have a reason to believe that she's no longer interested, but that's a difficult subject to bring up. If you're not free for a weekend, you're not free. I don't and can't expect her to drop things for someone she's known for 2 months.
I'm gonna pick her brain tomorrow by asking how the short week has gone and see how she responds.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
No one is that busy. She can't be bothered to shoot off a courtesy text? "Hey this weekend has been crazy sorry for the late response." Can't schedule a phone call one night? It's fine if she likes you, but she can't have almost a month planned out without involving you at all.
ATF, if you think you still have a shot with girl #3, shoot her a text.
ATF, if you think you still have a shot with girl #3, shoot her a text.
PflargBlarg
Member
I feel like this is one of the most important things that comes up in this thread.
If someone is actually interested in meeting up with you, they're going to make time. No one is that busy. Don't be a doormat who gets ignored until it's convenient for the other person. If they want to contact you they'll get in contact, otherwise, you're done here.
Move on to the next person.
If someone is actually interested in meeting up with you, they're going to make time. No one is that busy. Don't be a doormat who gets ignored until it's convenient for the other person. If they want to contact you they'll get in contact, otherwise, you're done here.
Move on to the next person.
Omega Kirby
Member
When you take a girl to the movies. You as the man choose the movie? Despite her wanting to watch something else?
stn
Member
This should be sticky'ed in the OP, along with a few other essential points.
ClosingADoor
Member
Suggest a movie when asking her. If she wants to see something else, go with that. No point in bringing her to a movie she doesn't want to see. Also, don't do movies the first date.
Yeah I wouldn't even really suggest it on a second date either as it doesn't encourage interaction and that's key for attraction. Movies are good dates I think when you start seeing someone and begin to feel comfortable with them.
I usually start with either:
-comment on a particular picture or something from their profile (if they have anything)
-left-field type of questions (ex: dinosaurs vs robots; who wins?)
This is exactly how I do it as well.
On a side note, the few times I've been messaged first by girls on Tinder, it's always been really really boring things, mostly "hi!
" or variants. I honestly imagine this is what girls mostly get from guys as well, or so a girl I dated for a while told me. I was pretty much the only one who sent anything remotely interesting.MonorailCat
Member
My May Dating Recap:
Messaged 100+ women on a dating website and swiped about 3000 women on Tinder.
Got ~5 responses and ~25 matches.
Which lead to 3 planned meetups.
Sad percentages.
The first one cancelled 2 hours before the date. Never heard from her again
The second one blocked me on Tinder/WhatsApp a day before the date. Completely out of the blue. Never heard from her again.
The third one I had two great dates with .. lot's of kissing, touching and affection. The second date ended with her already planning our next date and her saying she cannot wait. aaaaand of course, I never heard from her again. She never wrote again and ignored my texts.
Cliffnotes: Dating sucks if you are not attractive. ESPECIALLY online dating.
Thats me, for context: http://imgur.com/Pg8pmZb
Sorry for the rant. Just had to vent a little. I'll let myself out.
Messaged 100+ women on a dating website and swiped about 3000 women on Tinder.
Got ~5 responses and ~25 matches.
Which lead to 3 planned meetups.
Sad percentages.
The first one cancelled 2 hours before the date. Never heard from her again
The second one blocked me on Tinder/WhatsApp a day before the date. Completely out of the blue. Never heard from her again.
The third one I had two great dates with .. lot's of kissing, touching and affection. The second date ended with her already planning our next date and her saying she cannot wait. aaaaand of course, I never heard from her again. She never wrote again and ignored my texts.
Cliffnotes: Dating sucks if you are not attractive. ESPECIALLY online dating.
Thats me, for context: http://imgur.com/Pg8pmZb
Sorry for the rant. Just had to vent a little. I'll let myself out.
You are attractive, at least in that picture. You probably need inner improvement and upping your texting game.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Not necessarily. I went on a date this week with a guy and saw Unfriended. We were just laughing the whole time and it was great. Went out for sushi beforehand too.
Backstory: Met him last weekend at a nightclub when I was out with friends. We hit it off immediately and have been in communication ever since. Just spent all day today with him actually.
So yeah, I'm in kinda difficult situation and I think I'll go crazy if I won't share.
There's this girl with whom I'm friends since last year. We have all classes together, so we spend A LOT of time with each other. And I started to develop some feelings towards her. We went to cinema, then some drinking and I don't remember when I had as much fun as that day. She's incredibly shy and doesn't talk much on daily basis, but back then her mouth wouldn't shut. And even when we're not talking (because hey, no one can talk 8 hours a day, everyday, with a single person), I feel SOOO GOOD by just being with her. So since then, I was doing some comments here and there but I still have no idea what she's feeling. Sometimes I feel like she's doing everything so I won't get close to her and just stay in friendzone and sometimes she's being really sweet. She's kinda into origami and yesterday I received one and it looked like she's put a lot of work into it.
Yup, I know, grow a pair, go hang out somewhere and when opportunity comes talk honestly about our feelings but I'm scared. I'm afraid that she will say "no" and that will fuck up everything between us.
And yup, I realize that's the most typical friendzone situation. It's just something else when you're unfortunate enough to experience it by yourself.
Shit, just reading this short description makes me miss her.
There's this girl with whom I'm friends since last year. We have all classes together, so we spend A LOT of time with each other. And I started to develop some feelings towards her. We went to cinema, then some drinking and I don't remember when I had as much fun as that day. She's incredibly shy and doesn't talk much on daily basis, but back then her mouth wouldn't shut. And even when we're not talking (because hey, no one can talk 8 hours a day, everyday, with a single person), I feel SOOO GOOD by just being with her. So since then, I was doing some comments here and there but I still have no idea what she's feeling. Sometimes I feel like she's doing everything so I won't get close to her and just stay in friendzone and sometimes she's being really sweet. She's kinda into origami and yesterday I received one and it looked like she's put a lot of work into it.
Yup, I know, grow a pair, go hang out somewhere and when opportunity comes talk honestly about our feelings but I'm scared. I'm afraid that she will say "no" and that will fuck up everything between us.
And yup, I realize that's the most typical friendzone situation. It's just something else when you're unfortunate enough to experience it by yourself.
Shit, just reading this short description makes me miss her.
ClosingADoor
Member
A year is a long time before making a move, but you can always try. Just be aware that you can risk your friendship, depending on how she reacts (and how you take it). If she says no, can you two still be friends. And do you want to, or would you just be waiting and hoping she will come around sometime (which she won't if she turns you down). Of course if you are just waiting for that right now, do both of you a favor and get it out of the way as soon as possible.
I'd say, next time just say something like 'I really enjoy spending time with you, how about we go on an actual date this weekend?' Go to a nice bar, get a few drinks and see how it goes. Do not ask to 'hang out' or whatever, make it clear you want an actual date and see what she says.
Do not start a talk about feelings please.
Sequence Six
Member
No, it's still the same thing. You need to stand up, accept that she might not be interested, ask her out anyway, and move on with whatever answer she gives you.
Prophet Steve
Member
Trouble with just a movie date is that there really isn't any time to talk. Dinner beforehand solves that but that can be a bit of an investment for someone you don't know. But it depends on how much you already know the person, how confident you are in it going well and of course how much both of you enjoy movies.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
I'd known him 3 days and we had an endless supply of things to discuss even though we'd been texting constantly (as you know). Idk, definitely depends on the person. Maybe we just jelled well.
Prophet Steve
Member
I'm not talking about things to discuss. Simply because you are watching a movie in theater you can't talk with each other. It can work when doing it with something else, or at least still spending some time together afterwards so you can discuss.
True Savior
Member
The thing with online dating , especially now that it has become so "mainstream" is that many girls know there is so much fucking fish on the ocean. And there's always that possible very hot guy who might match with them. Don't take it the wrong way , it's just a very biased-interaction.
Dont worry about percentages and all that shit. At the end of the day you just need one great girl who has the same affection for you as you have for her. Fuck everything else.
I do think its ironic that many people use online dating because of the whole rejection-issue , but you will be blatantly rejected like you never were eheh. It's simply much less personal. But for people who overthink it , i do believe it might end up being more discouraging than just going next to a girl and hearing that sweet sweet No.
I haven't responded here in a while 
So I'm in a relationship ^^ It went really fast through Tinder. Met her through Tinder, chatted for a month and we had our first date 2 weeks ago. We seemed to like each other a lot so we both asked for a second date mid our first date. Kissed her on her cheek at the end and she wanted to kiss me too but I moved away on accident.
Second date was 4 days later and we had a Dinner date that I scheduled. Went on a walk afterwards and had a fun talk about how snow white needed a kiss to wake up. I made a move to kiss her but she wanted to make out. Wasn't the best spot so I kind of moved away again after my kiss. Not the best but I explained my reasoning. Which she understood.
I met her parents beforehand and we had some time left so I asked if she wanted to meet my parents too. We did and afterwards went to my room. We both sat on my bed and we started making out and cuddled while watching How I Met Your Mother. This warm feeling with her next to me. I was falling in love with her said my feeling. And so did she she later said to me
We wanted to see each other again fast so 3 days ago we met again. She was tired after work so we slept together after having a 2 hour walk around my city and park and going out for dinner again. She was kind of hinting that she wanted to be my significant other and well, I had the same feeling. True, it's really fast but I just can't stop thinking of her So we said, why not.
I'm 24 and she's 19. Doable age too
@MonorailCat,
If I have to rate myself against you, I'm less attractive based on looks. Freckles and stuff on my face
So I'm in a relationship ^^ It went really fast through Tinder. Met her through Tinder, chatted for a month and we had our first date 2 weeks ago. We seemed to like each other a lot so we both asked for a second date mid our first date. Kissed her on her cheek at the end and she wanted to kiss me too but I moved away on accident.
Second date was 4 days later and we had a Dinner date that I scheduled. Went on a walk afterwards and had a fun talk about how snow white needed a kiss to wake up. I made a move to kiss her but she wanted to make out. Wasn't the best spot so I kind of moved away again after my kiss. Not the best but I explained my reasoning. Which she understood.
I met her parents beforehand and we had some time left so I asked if she wanted to meet my parents too. We did and afterwards went to my room. We both sat on my bed and we started making out and cuddled while watching How I Met Your Mother. This warm feeling with her next to me. I was falling in love with her said my feeling. And so did she she later said to me
We wanted to see each other again fast so 3 days ago we met again. She was tired after work so we slept together after having a 2 hour walk around my city and park and going out for dinner again. She was kind of hinting that she wanted to be my significant other and well, I had the same feeling. True, it's really fast but I just can't stop thinking of her
So we said, why not.I'm 24 and she's 19. Doable age too
@MonorailCat,
If I have to rate myself against you, I'm less attractive based on looks. Freckles and stuff on my face
Good for you, DutchNeon. Sounds like an awesome experience. I don't know how lucky I'll get tomorrow (we finally finalized plans for a "game night" around 4 p.m. until 8 or 9 & she might bring her older sister), but man, something like that is exactly what I would like to experience eventually.
Tomorrow is the 3rd time I'll be getting together with my friend, so I'm gonna try my best to see if the relationship can advance further. I feel like if I don't at least attempt to make a move or voice my feelings that I like her, then I've waited too long.
Tomorrow is the 3rd time I'll be getting together with my friend, so I'm gonna try my best to see if the relationship can advance further. I feel like if I don't at least attempt to make a move or voice my feelings that I like her, then I've waited too long.
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