That's me as well.
-
Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!
Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
- Status
That's me as well.
radioactivez0r
Member
Bolded applies to me pretty well right now. Been meaning to post about it but it's difficult to articulate. I don't see her outside work - that isn't a problem btw - more than maybe once a week, if that. It allows little time to actually do anything other than her coming over, hanging out, usually sex. I think I've stuck with it (~4 months) so far because it doesn't ask a lot of me, but if I saw her more often I may have already decided that it wasn't going to work out. And yeah, she is way into me and that puts more pressure on me in determining if I want to continue.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
The girl I was seeing for a little under two months now just stopped by my apartment today for 5 minutes to let me know that she wasn't feeling the spark she usually feels (in her words, ripping clothes off of each other) and that she thought we should end it, even though I've treated her better than anyone she's ever met.
Not really much one can say in response to that, so I wished her well and she left.
Not really much one can say in response to that, so I wished her well and she left.
I had plans to get coffee with a girl today at 7. She just messaged me, gave me some family excuse and wants to reschedule. I told her to feel better, and text me when she wants to reschedule.
I'm not expecting a text - should I still follow up in 2-3 days?
I'm not expecting a text - should I still follow up in 2-3 days?
Ok GAF, I'm here for advice. There was this girl I met while I was still dating my last girlfriend, she was nice but I was honestly not interested so I didn't even notice if she was into me or not. My girlfriend, at the time, told me she was a bit jealous because the girl was obviously into me.
That was a more than a year ago. These days I'm single and crushing hard on this girl (we attend the same university, but she is younger than me) but I have no idea how to flirt with her. What do I even do? We talk if we see each other at campus, but I have no idea how to take this further. Seems to me that I should find out if she is still interested, but I'm thick as fuck and can't tell.
The thing to do, I suppose, would be to ask her out, but I'm afraid that is weird as fuck because we already know each other.
That was a more than a year ago. These days I'm single and crushing hard on this girl (we attend the same university, but she is younger than me) but I have no idea how to flirt with her. What do I even do? We talk if we see each other at campus, but I have no idea how to take this further. Seems to me that I should find out if she is still interested, but I'm thick as fuck and can't tell.
The thing to do, I suppose, would be to ask her out, but I'm afraid that is weird as fuck because we already know each other.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Presumably you have her number. If not, the next time you see her, ask if she wants to get drinks that evening. It's not weird at all to ask someone out that you know. Besides, you two sound like casual acquaintances at best. It's not like you're developing feelings for your best friend of 10+ years. No need to be afraid.
Yes.
Ask her out. Since you guys know each other, make sure to use the word date, so she doesn't think it's a friendly hangout.
I do have her number. I don't drink, neither does she, so coffee should be fine, right? I'll try that, thanks guys.
Oh, the thing is, there is no word for "date" in portuguese. I can use "sair" but that is used both for dates and friendly hangouts, so I can't really make my intentions explicit through that.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Yeah, but - coffee has friendish connotations unless you "date" it up. That's why "grabbing drinks" is easier: it has the dateishness built in.
Basically, this is a longwinded way of saying that, if you do ask her out for coffee, make sure your intentions are known. You have to be more forthright.
Not sure how to do bolded. As I said in my edit, there is no easy way to express "date" in my language. How else can I make myself clear like that? Without coming out really creepy I mean.
No. You left the ball in her court, if she is interested in you, she'll get back to you to set something up. Simple as that.
ZackieChan
Member
Dick pic
So as I mentioned earlier this girl was up for meeting and after flaking out on the first time we were supposed to meet today. I texted her yesterday around 4pm to see if she got her job or not and if we were still going to meet. Didn't get a response, texted again a few hours later with just "yes/no", again nothing.
Texted her around noon today saying it would have been nice for her to let my know she wasn't interested anymore. Again nothing.
She had added me to snapchat previously, so I checked that about an hour ago and there was a new snap from her (not specifically to me obviously) so I sent one back just to her asking what happened. I have realized that nothing is going to happen with this, but at least this way I'll know if she reads it, and is making a fairly obvious decision to disregarded it.
Honestly didn't see the harm, after not getting anything from the yes/no text I assumed it was off. It was almost a day later I sent the next stuff, so it was more to make myself feel better.
Thought it was odd since we were texting fairly regularly, then I asked you guys and was advised to scale back, as soon as I did that I never got a response again. So probably coincidence but trying to learn this shit late into my 20s sucks.
Thought it was odd since we were texting fairly regularly, then I asked you guys and was advised to scale back, as soon as I did that I never got a response again. So probably coincidence but trying to learn this shit late into my 20s sucks.
FaintColt388301
Member
If it helps you get that assurance that it's over then that's fine. But yeah, at least you realized it was over before that.
If somebody is interested they'll follow up. Simple as that. You were probably just nice to talk to or a way to kill time so when you backed off it was no big deal for her. Now that you're being serious about taking it farther, she's cutting contact because that's not what she wants. That or maybe in the mean time she found somebody else. If you have to chase em for a reply to a meet up, it's pretty safe to assume it's not going anywhere.
What is really bothering me right now about how my last relationship went is that we never made time to communicate what we wanted to eachother until the eventual break-up. I couldn't be that person, she couldn't be that person. People are too afraid to say what they want. It's scary to hear, but you have to hear it, to grow as a person. For me I wasn't as committed as she wanted from the beginning. My love grew over time and now I've lost her. Maybe I regret that, but I understand it was unfair to her. I wasn't 100% like someone should be.
I'm not a great communicator. And right now i'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I can't be the kind of person she wanted. I shouldn't hate her for breaking up with me.
I imagine the next time I'm with someone whom I really care to be with, I will do my best to naturally communicate fully my wants and needs.
I'm not a great communicator. And right now i'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I can't be the kind of person she wanted. I shouldn't hate her for breaking up with me.
I imagine the next time I'm with someone whom I really care to be with, I will do my best to naturally communicate fully my wants and needs.
Man there was this girl that worked at my job for a few weeks, gorgeous and really got the vibe that she at least enjoyed talking to me. Was planning on asking her out this weekend but she quit today.
Super bummed about it. Will be kicking myself about waiting too long to ask for weeks. Not even completely certain that she would have said yes, but not knowing is going to kill me lol.
Super bummed about it. Will be kicking myself about waiting too long to ask for weeks. Not even completely certain that she would have said yes, but not knowing is going to kill me lol.
So there's this girl who works in a local sushi place who I've had a crush on for a while. I've been in a few times, and whenever I'm there she's always really nice and we talk for a while. Now, obviously she's working at a restaurant and it's her job to be polite to customers, but after being a few times I felt like she actually enjoyed talking to me, and she would stick around our table for longer than I'd expect. She's really cute and seems to have similar interests so I thought I may as well bite the bullet and give her my number. So when I went up to pay the bill yesterday, I did, and I was very glad to see she seemed quite happy about it (that or just a little embarrassed, hard to tell as I was also quite embarrassed, I don't do this sort of thing ever). She hasn't contacted me, but I don't know how long people normally wait to contact someone, if ever.
I'm not really looking for any advice I guess, there isn't much else for me to do, but I was just wondering if anyone has done anything similar? I know hitting on a waiter/waitress is pretty frowned upon, which is why I waited until I felt like I wasn't just "shooting from the hip", so to speak.
I'm just hoping I can still go in there for sushi.
I'm not really looking for any advice I guess, there isn't much else for me to do, but I was just wondering if anyone has done anything similar? I know hitting on a waiter/waitress is pretty frowned upon, which is why I waited until I felt like I wasn't just "shooting from the hip", so to speak.
I'm just hoping I can still go in there for sushi.
Good luck!
What's the hurry? Just wait it out. That's what she does to you, no?
PlayALLtheGames
Banned
I'd stick to a strict rule of 2 messages in cases like this, because after 3 texts and a Snapchat you're probably starting to sound pressed to her and that'll make her even less motivated to respond. There could be a legitimate reason for all this, but since she flaked once I assume she's just avoiding having to explain that she doesn't want to meet up. Happens to the best of us.
In my experience, the only time giving your number to the girl works is when it's obvious she likes you, and, if it's that obvious, you want to ask anyway because it shows initiative. Giving the number is risky. If the girl is shy, for example, she may not contact you but not because she's not interested. If it's someone you don't see often, she may lose it or something. There are many ways it could be a lost opportunity.
Also, asking for a number can help clarify if there's any interest. If she declines to give it, you know you can move on. Not to say getting the number is a sure sign she's interested; just pointing out a decline is good info that'll save you time.
electricshake
Member
Tell her you'd like to take her out for coffee, there's a subtle difference between that and just saying you want to have a coffee with her.
Amory
Member
A red flag with the girl I've been seeing is...I don't think she has any friends.
Which is weird because she's nice and she's not all that shy. But the only people I've ever heard her talking about going out with are her parents and sister, and people she works with for a happy hour or whatever. And all of her pictures are just of her.
I'm not saying she has to have a million friends (I certainly don't) but if you don't have any friends it's probably indicative of some other problems I'm not seeing yet.
Maybe I'm overthinking.
Which is weird because she's nice and she's not all that shy. But the only people I've ever heard her talking about going out with are her parents and sister, and people she works with for a happy hour or whatever. And all of her pictures are just of her.
I'm not saying she has to have a million friends (I certainly don't) but if you don't have any friends it's probably indicative of some other problems I'm not seeing yet.
Maybe I'm overthinking.
Yeah, you're overthinking it. Could be a number of factors like maybe she just moved to the area? Maybe her job is just taking up a lot of her time? Maybe she likes relaxing at home instead of going out on the weekends?
n64coder
Member
In your country/language, is there ever a possibility that you do something with a girl and you think it's a date but she thinks that it's just friends meeting? What country are you in? Portugal? Brazil?
I would ask fellow countrymen for advice if you can. But if not, just go for coffee/snacks and see if it goes well. If does, then try a dinner date which is usually always interpreted as a date.
ZackieChan
Member
Does he have a word for "smang"?
Definitely true. I just suck at it, lol.
Actually I'm doing okay in general. Attending my brother's wedding last week was really tough since that was an event I had anticipated spending with her so much. Now that that's passed I'm doing a better job of moving on.
Dating again sure sucks though.
Just wanted to update dating-gaf.
I asked the girl out like everyone said and we've been together, officially, for almost 2 months now. Things are going really good.
So, thank you to everyone who pushed me to just ask her out and see what happens.
manfestival
Member
should I watch the Shia Lebeouf video a bunch of times to motivate me to ask this girl out? zzzz
ZackieChan
Member
Pretty much.
If you don't, change your username. You should have a scarlet letter.
Have two dates for Sunday. I wasn't expecting both to say yes. Gonna move one for today or push it for next week.
The girl I took to the museum, I felt was a good date, but something about her vibe (through texting and on the date) makes me think she isn't interested. Gonna play it cool with her.
The girl I took to the museum, I felt was a good date, but something about her vibe (through texting and on the date) makes me think she isn't interested. Gonna play it cool with her.
grap3fruitman
Banned
JigglesBunny
Banned
Me and my girlfriend celebrating 5 months today. Going Downtown to the six story tall IMAX screen to see Jurassic World, then dinner at the best steakhouse in the city, followed by what will probably amount to playing through LEGO Jurassic World together.
Life, my friends, is good.
This was a girl who I went after following a pretty devastating breakup, only to find out she had been into me for a while. Let me tell you, I love this girl more than I thought I could even love someone. For those in the thread who are nervous about pursuing a girl or recently recovered from a breakup, be bold and go for it.
Going for this girl, I think I found "the one" as hopefully optimistic and naive as it may sound. She's definitely feeling the same about me. Trust me, it's worth going for someone. You never know how much they'll mean to you mere months down the line.
Life, my friends, is good.
This was a girl who I went after following a pretty devastating breakup, only to find out she had been into me for a while. Let me tell you, I love this girl more than I thought I could even love someone. For those in the thread who are nervous about pursuing a girl or recently recovered from a breakup, be bold and go for it.
Going for this girl, I think I found "the one" as hopefully optimistic and naive as it may sound. She's definitely feeling the same about me. Trust me, it's worth going for someone. You never know how much they'll mean to you mere months down the line.
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
Hey DatingGAF. Going to take a chance and get your guys' opinions...
A little over a year ago, I met a girl. We hit it off really well, and we both fell for each other. Sounds great? She also had a boyfriend. Well has still. We moved things along, but our feelings were too strong and we had our thing going. She had even told me she wanted me to be her boyfriend, but she was terrified of the thought of making a mistake and ending up alone if me and her didn't work out.
The fall months came, and me and her got a little more distant... The stress was bearing down on me and she was depressed to personal issues. We still talked, we just weren't what we were, we still had feelings. It was just getting harder.
Come to today, I'm trying to bring it back. I'm giving it a final push, I care about her a lot. And I know she does to me. I was her best friend, and it scared her at one point how easy it was for her to see herself with me. She is still with him, but I want it to happen. I don't know what to do, I wish this situation had been easier. But I'm her best friend, and I don't want to abandon her but I don't want to give up on our chances... I still believe we have something wonderful that can grow into something bigger.
I don't know datingGAF, I got dealt a bad hand and I'm just going out on a limb to ask you guys.
A little over a year ago, I met a girl. We hit it off really well, and we both fell for each other. Sounds great? She also had a boyfriend. Well has still. We moved things along, but our feelings were too strong and we had our thing going. She had even told me she wanted me to be her boyfriend, but she was terrified of the thought of making a mistake and ending up alone if me and her didn't work out.
The fall months came, and me and her got a little more distant... The stress was bearing down on me and she was depressed to personal issues. We still talked, we just weren't what we were, we still had feelings. It was just getting harder.
Come to today, I'm trying to bring it back. I'm giving it a final push, I care about her a lot. And I know she does to me. I was her best friend, and it scared her at one point how easy it was for her to see herself with me. She is still with him, but I want it to happen. I don't know what to do, I wish this situation had been easier. But I'm her best friend, and I don't want to abandon her but I don't want to give up on our chances... I still believe we have something wonderful that can grow into something bigger.
I don't know datingGAF, I got dealt a bad hand and I'm just going out on a limb to ask you guys.
To be frank... if she's not willing to break up with her boyfriend, regardless of your or her feelings, there's nothing you can do. Her being terrified of being alone is a poor excuse, really--people shouldn't need to have a lover in their lives 24/7, and those that are terrified at the thought of not having one usually have something deeper going on.
My armchair psychologist comment aside, really, it's all on her. She clearly understands how you feel, I assume, so that's all that can be done. Juse make sure she doesn't cheat on her boyfriend with you or something, because that just isn't cool.
Also, it might be worthwhile to not discount the fact that she might only really see you as a good friend. Her feelings might not be romantic towards you, even if she's said that in the past. Be prepared for the worst, hope for the best sort of thing.
Sounds like you wasted a year with this girl who has a BF when you could've spent that time pursuing girls that are actually available. Even still, ifsomething were to become of you and her, would you not mind at all that this girl left her current BF for someone else (and has been basically seeing someone behind his back for a year?) Huge red flag, man.
davepoobond
you can't put a price on sparks
you're deluding yourself.
she cheats on her current boyfriend, what makes you think she wouldn't cheat with you?
despite that, its been a year and she hasn't broken up with him for no good reason, giving you that "lack of confidence it'll work out" spiel. first, of course it won't work out because she will just cheat on you, and second it won't work out because she'd be going into the relationship thinking it won't work out.
just stop dealing with her in that way. you're putting undue stress on yourself for something that will never happen. a year, man.
So I'm feeling awful, ended up sleeping with a female friend of mine and we spent a good bit of time with each other over the past 2 weeks. Thing is she is moving in a few months and is seeing another guy in the city she is moving. Yesterday was her birthday and she wanted me to come out and I knew what would happen so I told her the only way I could come out is if we could be together full well knowing we can't be. It would be unfair to me to fall for someone that will end up leaving in a few months and its just wrong to have a romantic relationship with someone who is involved with someone else, i know how i would feel if i were that guy so that was that. I guess we were never dating but fuck man she and i got along so well and the sex was amazing maybe even the best I've ever had.
She cheated on the guy she was seeing with you, a friend of hers. You sure you want her to be yours?
You wasted a year of your life trying to fuck over someone, congrats. I hope your final push falls flat. Seriously, you can find happiness without ruining someone else. It's not impossible.
Unless I'm reading your post wrong, the only person that got treated unfairly is the guy she's seeing in the other city. I don't feel bad for you.
- Status