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Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.

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So this girl messaged me on tinder 2 days ago. We didn't talk that much but she asked if we could continue talking on WhatsApp. I thought it was kinda weird that she asked that so quickly, but she didn't appear to be some kind of scambot or anything.

So anyway, I asked her to send me her number (which she did) just be sure that I wasn't giving my number to some kind of scammy organisation or something like that. So how big is the chance I'm getting screwed over here haha?
 
So this girl messaged me on tinder 2 days ago. We didn't talk that much but she asked if we could continue talking on WhatsApp. I thought it was kinda weird that she asked that so quickly, but she didn't appear to be some kind of scambot or anything.

So anyway, I asked her to send me her number (which she did) just be sure that I wasn't giving my number to some kind of scammy organisation or something like that. So how big is the chance I'm getting screwed over here haha?

Tinder is awful for battery life, so a lot of people want to get off of it for messaging.
 
Sorry, thanks for reading.

TL;DR
Distance sucks, bless you guys that do it.

I was in a long distance relationship for about a year when I was 22. It's not something I would recommend, I think it's best if you meet people near you and don't invest too much in a relationship like that at a young age. Best of luck.
 
So this girl messaged me on tinder 2 days ago. We didn't talk that much but she asked if we could continue talking on WhatsApp. I thought it was kinda weird that she asked that so quickly, but she didn't appear to be some kind of scambot or anything.

So anyway, I asked her to send me her number (which she did) just be sure that I wasn't giving my number to some kind of scammy organisation or something like that. So how big is the chance I'm getting screwed over here haha?

Google search the number. See if anything comes up.
 
So this girl messaged me on tinder 2 days ago. We didn't talk that much but she asked if we could continue talking on WhatsApp. I thought it was kinda weird that she asked that so quickly, but she didn't appear to be some kind of scambot or anything.

So anyway, I asked her to send me her number (which she did) just be sure that I wasn't giving my number to some kind of scammy organisation or something like that. So how big is the chance I'm getting screwed over here haha?
Google search the number and if nothing comes up be happy because it shows interest that she asked.
 
So a close buddy of mine broke up with his gf less than a year ago. To this day he still has feelings for her. He's saying that he's giving her space for now so I'm assuming he still has hope of getting back together.

This weekend I was out with some friends and I saw her with someone new. This wasn't widespread news; the girls knew but they didn't seem to want to go into too much detail.

At this point I'm not sure if I'm obligated to tell my friend because I'm pretty sure he's not aware of this. I really wish I didn't see them together. I know it would break his heart if I told him. What should I do?
 
So a close buddy of mine broke up with his gf less than a year ago. To this day he still has feelings for her. He's saying that he's giving her space for now so I'm assuming he still has hope of getting back together.

This weekend I was out with some friends and I saw her with someone new. This wasn't widespread news; the girls knew but they didn't seem to want to go into too much detail.

At this point I'm not sure if I'm obligated to tell my friend because I'm pretty sure he's not aware of this. I really wish I didn't see them together. I know it would break his heart if I told him. What should I do?

What he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?
 
So a close buddy of mine broke up with his gf less than a year ago. To this day he still has feelings for her. He's saying that he's giving her space for now so I'm assuming he still has hope of getting back together.

This weekend I was out with some friends and I saw her with someone new. This wasn't widespread news; the girls knew but they didn't seem to want to go into too much detail.

At this point I'm not sure if I'm obligated to tell my friend because I'm pretty sure he's not aware of this. I really wish I didn't see them together. I know it would break his heart if I told him. What should I do?

Tell him. I mean, at a year, he should be over her by now but maybe this will force him to accept that they're never getting back together.

The longer he holds out hope, the worse.
 
So a close buddy of mine broke up with his gf less than a year ago. To this day he still has feelings for her. He's saying that he's giving her space for now so I'm assuming he still has hope of getting back together.

This weekend I was out with some friends and I saw her with someone new. This wasn't widespread news; the girls knew but they didn't seem to want to go into too much detail.

At this point I'm not sure if I'm obligated to tell my friend because I'm pretty sure he's not aware of this. I really wish I didn't see them together. I know it would break his heart if I told him. What should I do?

Why would you hold this from him? If he's waiting on her because he thinks they're gonna get back together, why would you not let him in on the fact that she's obviously not still hung up on him? It's a tough hit, sure, but it'll help him forward. Don't let someone unnecessarily remain hung up on someone. Telling him will help him move forwards. Remember, it doesn't ruin any chance of them ever getting back together, it just levels the playing field. Why would you want your friend sitting at home pining for someone that's with someone else? Why would you keep that from him?
 
Your 20 and in college. Enjoy it, that's no time to be in a long distance relationship.

He might be better off breaking up, but it's not because of this categorical reason. Not everyone regrets being in a relationship when they're 20 and in college. It's not categorically the time to sleep around. Maybe they shouldn't be together, but not in this "you're young, you're in college" argument. Live, learn. This is too categorical of advice.
 
So a close buddy of mine broke up with his gf less than a year ago. To this day he still has feelings for her. He's saying that he's giving her space for now so I'm assuming he still has hope of getting back together.

This weekend I was out with some friends and I saw her with someone new. This wasn't widespread news; the girls knew but they didn't seem to want to go into too much detail.

At this point I'm not sure if I'm obligated to tell my friend because I'm pretty sure he's not aware of this. I really wish I didn't see them together. I know it would break his heart if I told him. What should I do?

For real, it's probably best to just tell him, like most everyone else is saying. He's still pining over this girl, and knowing that she isn't really pining for him (by being out with another guy) might help him move on. I mean... he probably should have moved on by now already, since it's been a year, but hey.
 
It depends on the situation, but I feel that generally you don't really get over someone until you find someone new. Even if it's been a year, if they still haven't found anyone they'll still think about their ex when they are lonely and "pine" for them.

I agree though, tell him. It will suck but hopefully it will help him get out there and start looking for someone new.
 
Hi GAF, just a quick request for advice.

I was out on Saturday night and ended up meeting a girl out. I was with her for quite a while and ended up kissing her in the club a few times, but she had to leave. She also mentioned to someone it was the first time she had done anything like that on a night out. Once I had left and had got a taxi home I had noticed she had added me on facebook which was great because I didn't get her number.

So the next day I decided to message her, see how she was and get her number. It turns out after talking to her, her following me on Instagram that we share a few of the same interests that I don't share with some of NY friends so we really hit it off.

Anyways she went on holiday on Monday for four days so should be home late Thursday or early Friday. Whilst shes been abroad she's been messaging me when she can generally talking about her time away asking how I am etc.

Is it a good idea to ask her out for when she comes back while she is away to let her know I'm interested or leave it the few days until she is back which isnt a problem with me.
 
Sorry forgot to mention I'm away over both the next weekends, the only time I'm free is Wednesday next week and Tuesday onwards the week after.

I would wait a bit. No reason to tell her on a Friday you want to do something 5-days in advance. Maybe make mention of it on Sunday or Monday.
 
The fact she's messaging you while on vacation is a very good sign.

I'd tell her your (lack of) availability soon. If you're not eager to meet up after she gets back she may think you're not interested.
 
The fact she's messaging you while on vacation is a very good sign.

I'd tell her your (lack of) availability soon. If you're not eager to meet up after she gets back she may think you're not interested.
~!Good advice!~

I agree mention you'd like to around the weekend, I'm sure it will come up once she's back, and she'll probably agree to Wednesday.
 
Guys, seriously. How do you start dating? Everything in the OP is too advanced for me. It's not fair that everyone else gets to have friendships and relationships but I have to be constantly isolated.

Stop comparing your situation to everyone else's. Stop being envious of other people. It does you no good, man.
Then what am I supposed to do?

You make it sound like an external force is preventing you from having personal and romantic relationships. Do you believe that is the case?
The external force is the rest of society. All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. I would be happy to just be in the company of people, they wouldn't necessarily even have to talk to me.
 
Stop comparing your situation to everyone else's. Stop being envious of other people. It does you no good, man.
 
Guys, seriously. How do you start dating? All the stuff in the OP is still too advanced for me. It's not fair that everyone else gets to have friendships and relationships but I have to be constantly isolated.


Why not? Shouldn't I be upset about this? I'm sick of being told by you guys that I have to be alone. I hate it.

You make it sound like an external force is preventing you from having personal and romantic relationships. Do you believe that is the case?
 
The day after I decide to cut off my ex she starts coming into the cafe we work at with some other guy, the first time it was a time when she knew I was working. It didn't bother me at first but later on it started to irk me. She's done it a few times since then as well, whether or not she knew I was working or not. Co-workers have spoken with her about how wrong it is to do so as it visibly makes me upset.

I texted her to return my swim shorts to me, which I swore off, texting I mean. I will finally get them tomorrow where she will drop them off. I asked a week prior, but sent a second message about it today passive-aggressively. I don't want anything to do with her but it still upsets me to see her come into my store with some other guy.

I'm wondering if I should confront her tomorrow about this? I leave for Norway on the 3rd and after a month there I'll be over it, but for now cutting her off was for ME to make space from her, the moment I did so she comes back with this bullshit and I can't do anything.

I'm not quitting my job.
 
The day after I decide to cut off my ex she starts coming into the cafe we work at with some other guy, the first time it was a time when she knew I was working. It didn't bother me at first but later on it started to irk me. She's done it a few times since then as well, whether or not she knew I was working or not. Co-workers have spoken with her about how wrong it is to do so as it visibly makes me upset.

I texted her to return my swim shorts to me, which I swore off, texting I mean. I will finally get them tomorrow where she will drop them off. I asked a week prior, but sent a second message about it today passive-aggressively. I don't want anything to do with her but it still upsets me to see her come into my store with some other guy.

I'm wondering if I should confront her tomorrow about this? I leave for Norway on the 3rd and after a month there I'll be over it, but for now cutting her off was for ME to make space from her, the moment I did so she comes back with this bullshit and I can't do anything.

I'm not quitting my job.
Well, look at it this way. She's doing this with the explicit purpose of making you jealous and hurting you. This justs shows what kind of petty and vindicative person she is. Become a rock, and let her puny attempts at hurting you bounce off you. Easy said than done, I know!

You can confront her about it, but that's exactly what she wants, it'll show her that what she's doing is working.
 
The day after I decide to cut off my ex she starts coming into the cafe we work at with some other guy, the first time it was a time when she knew I was working. It didn't bother me at first but later on it started to irk me. She's done it a few times since then as well, whether or not she knew I was working or not. Co-workers have spoken with her about how wrong it is to do so as it visibly makes me upset.

I texted her to return my swim shorts to me, which I swore off, texting I mean. I will finally get them tomorrow where she will drop them off. I asked a week prior, but sent a second message about it today passive-aggressively. I don't want anything to do with her but it still upsets me to see her come into my store with some other guy.

I'm wondering if I should confront her tomorrow about this? I leave for Norway on the 3rd and after a month there I'll be over it, but for now cutting her off was for ME to make space from her, the moment I did so she comes back with this bullshit and I can't do anything.

I'm not quitting my job.

God damn what a bitch. Confront her, even if it's what she wants who cares, she'll regret it when you blow up on her.
 
Ive been ignoring her for the most part but i had to trxt her yesterday again about returning my swim shorts which i reeeeally wanted back. I did so very passive aggressively where i said somethig like " if you cant respect my space than at least respect my property" but she never replied... I think i already gave her the satisfaction :/

Whatever i got my shorts back thats what matters. The wool is from my eyes and i realize what a repulsive and lame person she is

edit: its more that shes just pissing me off now rather than hurting me
 

Every time you come in the thread, all you do is complain that you're unlucky, it's not fair, it sucks, etc, etc, so on and so forth. Nothing's gonna change if you don't try. You always say you don't know what to do, but don't bother to even try to follow any advice that's given to you, and keep on complaining.

You don't try to do anything (from what I see from your posts), you ignore advice and often just argue the point of said advice, and you seem to just be looking for pity and for the perfect girl to fall into your lap. Do you really think that's what's happened to those that have found SOs here? Do you even bother to read the thread? Most of the posters here go through constant hardships and relationship failures before finding something lasting. Is that "lucky"? No, it's fucking hard work (the vast majority of the time), and you're essentially blowing off what others have worked towards saying it's just luck.

It doesn't work like that. You have to at least put some effort into putting yourself out there and stop being so goddamn negative all the time. it's not friggin' society, stop blaming other forces. Try to better yourself in anyway you can. It's hard, hella hard, I know, but any little step you take really makes a difference.

Everyone's different, not every single piece of advice is going to work for you. That's fine. Not every date you have, or interaction you have with a lady isn't going to go well either. That's what dating is about. It's scary, it can make you miserable, but it's something you typically have to do to find a significant other. Deal with it, try to do it, and stop constantly whining. Or get a mail-order bride.
 
OK I had probably my strangest date ever, well not the date itself but what happened afterwards.
I met a girl in a club a couple of weeks ago. In fact she approached me, we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet the following friday.
The date went really well, she was personablle, funny and we spent over 5 hours together and we kissed.
So I went home and was kind of wondering why she didn't text me the next day. So I texted her on Sunday. Nothing out of the ordinary, just: How was he rest of your weekend, looking forward to see you again..No answer, so monday evening I texted her if everything was alright. She answered that it's too much for her right now after her breakup.
I'm struggling to compute everything. I mean it's obvious that she liked me and vice versa, but I have no idea what do now.
Except moving on of course.

edit: I'm 31, she's 27.
 
The day after I decide to cut off my ex she starts coming into the cafe we work at with some other guy, the first time it was a time when she knew I was working. It didn't bother me at first but later on it started to irk me. She's done it a few times since then as well, whether or not she knew I was working or not. Co-workers have spoken with her about how wrong it is to do so as it visibly makes me upset.

I texted her to return my swim shorts to me, which I swore off, texting I mean. I will finally get them tomorrow where she will drop them off. I asked a week prior, but sent a second message about it today passive-aggressively. I don't want anything to do with her but it still upsets me to see her come into my store with some other guy.

I'm wondering if I should confront her tomorrow about this? I leave for Norway on the 3rd and after a month there I'll be over it, but for now cutting her off was for ME to make space from her, the moment I did so she comes back with this bullshit and I can't do anything.

I'm not quitting my job.

Wow, she's horrible. Just ignore her, don't let her have what she wants. Well, now that you got your shorts back at least.

OK I had probably my strangest date ever, well not the date itself but what happened afterwards.
I met a girl in a club a couple of weeks ago. In fact she approached me, we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet the following friday.
The date went really well, she was personablle, funny and we spent over 5 hours together and we kissed.
So I went home and was kind of wondering why she didn't text me the next day. So I texted her on Sunday. Nothing out of the ordinary, just: How was he rest of your weekend, looking forward to see you again..No answer, so monday evening I texted her if everything was alright. She answered that it's too much for her right now after her breakup.
I'm struggling to compute everything. I mean it's obvious that she liked me and vice versa, but I have no idea what do now.
Except moving on of course.

edit: I'm 31, she's 27.

Eh, that doesn't sound too strange, really, people do stuff like that all the time. Move on, and if she feels it isn't too much anymore, she knows how to contact you.
 
Every time you come in the thread, all you do is complain that you're unlucky, it's not fair, it sucks, etc, etc, so on and so forth. Nothing's gonna change if you don't try. You always say you don't know what to do, but don't bother to even try to follow any advice that's given to you, and keep on complaining.

Looked at his post history. He talks about going to a therapist, refusing to fill out forms, judging people for talking down to him, etc. At least he seems to be receptive to suggestions to get help, but it seems he expects everything to fall into his lap and require no effort to achieve.
 
Every time you come in the thread, all you do is complain that you're unlucky, it's not fair, it sucks, etc, etc, so on and so forth. Nothing's gonna change if you don't try. You always say you don't know what to do, but don't bother to even try to follow any advice that's given to you, and keep on complaining.

You don't try to do anything (from what I see from your posts), you ignore advice and often just argue the point of said advice, and you seem to just be looking for pity and for the perfect girl to fall into your lap. Do you really think that's what's happened to those that have found SOs here? Do you even bother to read the thread? Most of the posters here go through constant hardships and relationship failures before finding something lasting. Is that "lucky"? No, it's fucking hard work (the vast majority of the time), and you're essentially blowing off what others have worked towards saying it's just luck.

It doesn't work like that. You have to at least put some effort into putting yourself out there and stop being so goddamn negative all the time. it's not friggin' society, stop blaming other forces. Try to better yourself in anyway you can. It's hard, hella hard, I know, but any little step you take really makes a difference.

Everyone's different, not every single piece of advice is going to work for you. That's fine. Not every date you have, or interaction you have with a lady isn't going to go well either. That's what dating is about. It's scary, it can make you miserable, but it's something you typically have to do to find a significant other. Deal with it, try to do it, and stop constantly whining. Or get a mail-order bride.
I love this post gaiages but society does suck tho~

Meeting up with mutual friends' roommate tomorrow :D
OK I had probably my strangest date ever, well not the date itself but what happened afterwards.
I met a girl in a club a couple of weeks ago. In fact she approached me, we exchanged numbers and agreed to meet the following friday.
The date went really well, she was personablle, funny and we spent over 5 hours together and we kissed.
So I went home and was kind of wondering why she didn't text me the next day. So I texted her on Sunday. Nothing out of the ordinary, just: How was he rest of your weekend, looking forward to see you again..No answer, so monday evening I texted her if everything was alright. She answered that it's too much for her right now after her breakup.
I'm struggling to compute everything. I mean it's obvious that she liked me and vice versa, but I have no idea what do now.
Except moving on of course.

edit: I'm 31, she's 27.
This shit is (incredibly) annoying and frustrating but not out of the ordinary. Keep on keeping on friend.
 
Every time I go dancing there's a woman there that I dance with, or at least try to dance with. We always end up talking and forget to dance. I've never had such an easy time talking to anyone. She's even does martial arts, too.

The problem is she's a lot older than me, has at least two kids, live far away, and I think she's probably married. I don't know that she's married though, when you take the stance for the dancing I do the woman's left hand is on your shoulder, and I always forget look before we step in.
 
Thanks guys, it's just that it went that well. I had several dates where you can feel there is no chemistry at all and that doesn't bother me one bit. But a situation like that never happened to me and I can't really understand it. I mean if I'm not over a past relationship, I don't date and don't approach guys in a club . Well, at least being hit on by a really beautiful gitl helped my self-esteem ;)

edit: To be honest, at this point I don't really have any desire to see her again because I'm pissed off, it's just that I'm curious if I did or said something wrong.
 
Thanks guys, it's just that it went that well. I had several dates where you can feel there is no chemistry at all and that doesn't bother me one bit. But a situation like that never happened to me and I can't really understand it. I mean if I'm not over a past relationship, I don't date and don't approach guys in a club . Well, at least being hit on by a really beautiful gitl helped my self-esteem ;)

edit: To be honest, at this point I don't really have any desire to see her again because I'm pissed off, it's just that I'm curious if I did or said something wrong.

It's probably nothing you did. People are odd.
 
Thanks guys, it's just that it went that well. I had several dates where you can feel there is no chemistry at all and that doesn't bother me one bit. But a situation like that never happened to me and I can't really understand it. I mean if I'm not over a past relationship, I don't date and don't approach guys in a club . Well, at least being hit on by a really beautiful gitl helped my self-esteem ;)

edit: To be honest, at this point I don't really have any desire to see her again because I'm pissed off, it's just that I'm curious if I did or said something wrong.

Doubt it was anything you did. She is likely being honest and isn't ready for anything.
 
Why not? What has he got to lose?

Well, for starters, they work together, so if something gets too heated he could run the risk of losing his job. I mean, doesn't seem likely, but there is that risk.

Also, with the way she's acting, she wants him to get mad and upset, and confronting her about it will be giving her the satisfaction that yes, her actions are bothering him. And if they're at work, he can't really just fly off the handle and start cursing and stuff either. Why let her have that when he can be the better person in this situation? Even the co-workers think she's being petty and bitchy, so it's not like he has to prove anything.
 
Well, for starters, they work together, so if something gets too heated he could run the risk of losing his job. I mean, doesn't seem likely, but there is that risk.

Also, with the way she's acting, she wants him to get mad and upset, and confronting her about it will be giving her the satisfaction that yes, her actions are bothering him. And if they're at work, he can't really just fly off the handle and start cursing and stuff either. Why let her have that when he can be the better person in this situation? Even the co-workers think she's being petty and bitchy, so it's not like he has to prove anything.

Of course he shouldn't do it while on the job. That's a given. But this isn't about being the better person. This is about letting her know how much of a bitch she's being, asking her why she's doing it and such. Maybe she'll take it to heart and grow, maybe she'll be a bitch and not care. Either way he'll learn something. I'm all for moral highgrounds, but this is not one of those times that inaction is the best solution.
 
You don't try to do anything (from what I see from your posts), you ignore advice and often just argue the point of said advice, and you seem to just be looking for pity and for the perfect girl to fall into your lap. Do you really think that's what's happened to those that have found SOs here? Do you even bother to read the thread? Most of the posters here go through constant hardships and relationship failures before finding something lasting. Is that "lucky"? No, it's fucking hard work (the vast majority of the time), and you're essentially blowing off what others have worked towards saying it's just luck.
What the hell are you talking about? What's lucky is how you people were able to start without any effort. I'm not that fortunate and that's why I attempt to ask for help every once in a while but no one seems to understand. Like, everyone's skipping steps when they give me advice but those are the parts where I'm struggling the most. I need the very beginning and no one will give me that or even point me in the right direction. I understand that relationships take work - but I can't even get that far. Do you understand what I'm saying? How am I supposed to do anything if I don't know how to do anything?

Looked at his post history. He talks about going to a therapist, refusing to fill out forms, judging people for talking down to him, etc. At least he seems to be receptive to suggestions to get help, but it seems he expects everything to fall into his lap and require no effort to achieve.
I'd love to read where I wrote something to that effect - would you care to share the link?
 
Start with practicing conversation skills. Get comfortable asking people questions and engaging with them. Is that what you mean by beginning? A lot of it starts with being confident and comfortable with yourself.
 
Start with practicing conversation skills. Get comfortable asking people questions and engaging with them. Is that what you mean by beginning?

Yeah my ex wife is a shrink and she always told her patients with social anxiety to walk up to complete strangers and ask for directions to a specific location (like a restaurant) and have a bit of small talk like "Have you been there before, can you recommend it?"
 
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