But where? I can tell you right now the last place to look for love is at a DnD table at a hobby shop. Trust me.
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But where? I can tell you right now the last place to look for love is at a DnD table at a hobby shop. Trust me.
Adam_Roman
Member
After almost a year on Tinder I found my current girlfriend who I have a ton in common with. That being said, it was almost a year until I found someone I could see myself with.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
It's rare to find people who are into niche pursuits without being obsessive. I mean, how many people out there are, for instance, attractive, have a great job, direction in their life, but also spend their precious free time (because, if they've got their shit together, their free time will be limited) in a sci-fi/fantasy book club?
That said, the number of profiles I've run across on OKCupid with references to those things is astoundingly high, including those who have graduated from University/Master's program. Just about everyone plays Mario Kart, watches Game of Thrones, and enjoys Netflix documentaries. You're not going to have this kind of granularity on Tinder, though -- Tinder's not for that.
Meetup.com? At the very least you'll find people with similar interests.
And I'm gonna guess that there are dating sites geared towards nerdy folk.
I feel like you, believe me. There is no magic place to find the right people (and obviously this includes Tinder) so I think it's a combination of adequate situation and attitude on your part. The ideal girl can be anywhere, so when you find her you have to take that "first step". Otherwise nothing will happen.
I find only some on OKCupid, but I get no responses from them.
It's kind of annoying. I don't take it personally as a slight against me, but I do feel like sometimes there's something inherently wrong with how I message folks or perhaps even a problem with myself that people seem to pick up on.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Head over to the Online Dating thread and we can critique your profile, pictures, and messages! I doubt it's the messages: unless you mention something overtly sexual or disgusting, you're already leagues ahead of others, so it could just be the profile or pictures that need tweaking.
No, No, No and No.
There's nothing wrong with you. It's just that we are often ignored because we are looking for something in the wrong place.
EDIT: Although as Advocatus Diaboli says, obviously you're friendly and do not talk nonsense.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
Actually I didn't; I didn't and still don't understand why it was such a big deal for her seeing as how we hadn't seen eachother in 3 weeks already, that's all I asked her.
But whatever, attention hog; case closed.
FaintColt388301
Member
It's really not that hard to understand. She had a boyfriend but she liked you. By your own admittance you kind of liked her too. She tried to get you to bite but you didn't. She left work. You talked again after 3 weeks. She was sad to hear that you "quit" because she was probably looking forward to seeing you when she started working there again (I think you said she was coming back).
I get that it might be weird to you that she was sad even though you hadn't talked in that period of time but 3 weeks really isn't that long. Also you were her side crush so any time you talk to her that's just going to come back up because nothing ever happened to shut that all down.
EDIT: Actually I'm confused. I don't know all the details, there seems to be a lot you're not saying . I guess you just hadn't seen each other in 3 weeks but you have still been talking. Why else would she text you asking why you haven't been at work? Then you're also talking about going to the movies and stuff when before you were saying you "wouldn't say we are friends, I engage in social activities with friends. She's more an acquaintance." So I guess things are progressing instead of everybody's advice of just leave her alone.I don't know what's going on so I'll just leave it at that.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
It's a numbers game. If cute girls are rare, cute nerdy/geeky girls are even rarer, which means they get way more messages.
I feel like the best way to stand out in that situation is to not reference the nerdy/geeky things because everyone else will.
This
This
THIS
THIS
This.
I think I got my point across.
Not 'this' doesn't look like a word to me anymore, I typed it so many times >.>
I think I got my point across.
Not 'this' doesn't look like a word to me anymore, I typed it so many times >.>
QuantumBro
Banned
I sent her a few texts this morning and she was quick to respond, up until I asked her out for drinks and she went quiet. Oh well, time to move on.
I've had the most success in finding those people on OkCupid. They're on Tinder too, but it's a lot harder to find out that stuff due to how it's set up. I'm considering giving POF a try, what's it like on there?
This
This
THIS
THIS
This.
I think I got my point across.
Not 'this' doesn't look like a word to me anymore, I typed it so many times >.>
Perhaps my skull is thick, but I'm lost. You're saying people say they're geeky/nerdy already just to attract folks? I mean, I genuinely like playing Dominion, like some anime, and I enjoy videogames. What's wrong with being honest?
I get a number girls attracted to me up there, but I'm not into them for the most part. I've gotten into convos with a few.
I dunno man, I think these sites' vary by location. I live in NC and I see a lot of christian folks who don't do much.
Nah, that wasn't the point.
Allow me to tell you my personal experience as a somewhat cute, openly geeky girl on OKC.
I wouldn't get flooded with messages per se, but I had a fair amount of them. The majority of the messages would either be:
"Hi"
or
"What kind of games do you like to play?"
In fact, I got more questions asking about gaming (which I didn't really put completely full front in my profile, I just mentioned it a couple times off hand) than the generic Hi message. It got really boring responding to them. I even made a template that basically said "I like everything, but especially RPGs. I'm playing Bloodborne right now!" I was not playing Bloodborne right then (at the time, I was enjoying Record Breaker thank you very much), but I didn't find it worth the effort to change the response, as all 90% of the people that messaged me that only really cared if I played the games they wanted to play.
To me, it made me feel like I wasn't interesting as a person, only interesting in the fact that my hobbies weren't typical for a lady. It felt kinda saddening--I mean, I totally expected it, but still, it was like they didn't care about any of my other interests or anything, just "OMFG A GEEK GIRL WOAH". It sucked.
On the contrary, my current bf's first message was about bagels. Didn't even mention gaming till like the first date.
But no, it's great being honest, we're not asking you to be dishonest. Just try to stick out from those that would send the typical starting messages... and for geeky chicks, in addition to "Hi" or something bland, there's also the "What kind of game/anime/popular media d you like?".
Reizo Ryuu
Member
That...actually makes kind of sense.
I took the advice to remain "warm and friendly (cordial)" with her. Nearly all of our conversations are started by her, and I only invited her because I said I was going and then she would just keep going on an on about how she wants to see it too and how I'm "lucky" that I get to see it.
First time post here for me
Broke up with my girlfriend of over 18 months today, my first proper break up. I know I don't really want to get in another relationship for at least a few months but I've always been bad at meeting people (even though I live in London so I have plenty of options) and it's making me anxious, especially finding someone again who is both cute and geeky (or at least understanding of my love for batman/games/kanye west etc)
Broke up with my girlfriend of over 18 months today, my first proper break up. I know I don't really want to get in another relationship for at least a few months but I've always been bad at meeting people (even though I live in London so I have plenty of options) and it's making me anxious, especially finding someone again who is both cute and geeky (or at least understanding of my love for batman/games/kanye west etc)
FaintColt388301
Member
Makes sense. But yeah, keep doing that. Just watch out though. It's not the best idea to be hanging out with a girl who has a thing for you and has a bf.
Everybody in here jumped on you because we can only see so much of the picture. You coming back and just talking about how she's saying she misses you and you almost were gonna go to the movies made it out to seem like you were stringing her along a bit or just taking in the attention. Seems like you were just honestly confused though.
If you're still really shook up go for it. Take a day to gather yourself and be sad for a bit but as everybody says, don't just seclude yourself and stay at home all the time. It's always good to be out and about to get your mind off things and distract yourself. Hope it all works out for ya
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
I finally asked her out by asking if she's free anytime soon she said she didn't know. so I took that as a No. Maybe it's a try harder stupid but no, it's not.
Before that my co-workers was like maybe I should try that girl I was working with. So , I "tried" her and not only she got a boyfriend; I asked for her number and she no and started laughing.
Ahaha, shit.
Before that my co-workers was like maybe I should try that girl I was working with. So , I "tried" her and not only she got a boyfriend; I asked for her number and she no and started laughing.
Ahaha, shit.
I'd just like to say this is something I think I need to hear/drilled into my mind and I'm glad you posted it. I've been telling myself (such as a few months back when I took my friend out for coffee) that you need to find out more about the person and not to instantly jump to games/anime/stuff I like. As much as it would be nice to have someone to talk about said things and share opinions, that should NOT be the only thing to focus on.
I guess your point is, from what I understand, to not be that type of person who only cares about ONE thing and that's it. Show that you're open to many things & more importantly, open to learning more about the other person instead of a single thing that you care about.
I probably won't be dating for a bit since right now, I'm focusing on Calculus and possibly looking into a part-time job, but I've been keeping an eye since advice & stories like this prove to be very helpful.
Wow.
You know? I never thought about how lame it is to glorify geeky stuff like that. It can come across like I don't care about the person themselves.
Damn. This is some enlightening shit.
You can bring up the subject casually if you want, but it shouldn't be the only thing you're interested in/able to talk about. You don't want to portray yourself as the guy who only likes geeky stuff and nothing else.
I don't even bring up videogames at all during the initial messaging/texting even though we both mention videogames on our profiles. The topic just comes up naturally when we starting discussing things we like. It just feels like a poor icebreaker.
Heck, girl I'm seeing likes Bethesda and Bioware games. It'd totally be a dealbreaker if all we talked about was videogames haha
Pretty much this. It's fine to talk about it, but show that it's NOT the only thing you care about/are into. It would get boring if all one person talked about was one single topic all, if not most of the time, be it video games, sports, movies, whatever. It's the reason why I try to keep myself from talking from anime or video games as soon as I go on a date unless she brings it up or I feel like I can tie it to the discussion going on. I don't want to "force" talk about it.
Also yeah, I feel like "so what games do you like" is a bad icebreaker. It'd be similar to "so what movies do you like" or "so what sports do you watch". I can't help but feel you're gonna judge them on a particular hobby based on how they response. Like if they don't say the right thing, the other person isn't gonna care because "Oh, they don't like [thing], why should I bother?"
n64coder
Member
How exactly did you ask her out? What were the exact words you used?
Anyway, keep trying. You can only get better at this by trying more often with different people.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
"Are you free anytime soon?" Just like that. She says she didn't know and walked into the women's locker room.
Was your question just "Are you free anytime soon?"
That's still vague. Next time be like, "I'd like to take you out for coffee/drinks/whatever, are you free on Saturday?" If she was busy Saturday, but wants to go she will offer a different day.
At the very least ask what her schedule looks like, not just some nebulous free time.
stn
Member
Yeah, she's not interested. Not a big deal, man. Its good that you tried, that's most important. Next time you should ask something like "Wanna grab coffee?" Its more specific and echoes the same message.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Nah. Like stn said, She's not interested.
Not sure they'll be a "next time".
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
By "next time" I mean another girl, not trying again with this one.Don't be discouraged, make sure you take what you learned and try again. Dating is a numbers game, dude. You've asked one girl out and got one rejection. Rarely will a guy bat 1.000. Keep pushing.
There's been multiple girls. lol. but I think I know what the problem is.
Sorry in advance for the long post. I'm just not sure what to do right now.
So this thread is more Dating Gaf than it is Relationship Gaf, yeah? Couldn't find a Relationship-Age OT though, so I'm going to ask here anyway, because I'm really frustrated and upset, and need to vent / get some advice.
So my girlfriend and I had (have?) been dating for almost 6 months. Things were going great right from the start. We hung out multiple times a week, were constantly texting, always just had a lot of fun. There was never any trouble in the relationship, or problems, or arguments, or anything like that. We were extremely open with each other about everything, and it was great! It was the happiest I had ever been.
About a month, maybe a month and a half ago, she had to move back home due to not having a job and thus, being unable to pay rent. So she moved back in to her parents' house about 30-40 minutes away from me, and started working at a factory to get some money while looking for a full-time job (as we've both just graduated). Everything was still good though! We'd take turns visiting each other every weekend, often spend a day or 2 at each others houses at a time since we could only see each other on weekends. We still texted constantly every single day, though, still no problems.
2 weeks ago, we had plans to hang out at her place on the Friday. We had last seen each other the Sunday beforehand. On the Wednesday, we were making plans for what we were gonna do Friday, again, everything normal. On the Thursday, again still talking and making plans. But then, later on Thursday, she asks if we could hang at my place on Sunday instead, because she couldn't get her parent's car for Friday. I told her it was no problem, I would come to her Friday. She told me that it would be better if she came to me, because we need to talk.
My heart sunk, of course.
I ended up going to see her the next day, and we talked. She said we needed to break up. Every answer she gave to questions I asked ("What happened?", "When did you start feeling like this?", etc) was "I don't know". She couldn't seem to really give me any straight answers. She told me when we had hung out the Sunday before, everything was fine, and breaking up wasn't even a thought in the back of her mind at all. Hell we had still had sex and everything that day. And we had still been talking constantly since then too.
Her reasoning eventually seemed to boil down to "There's a lot going on in my life, too much to think about a relationship at the moment", "I've never seen a successful relationship, so I don't want to get further in and THEN have things end", and "I'm not sure if I'll end up loving you".
The first thing I don't understand... it seems like being in a tough spot in life is why you would WANT someone to talk to and all that, not a time to throw your best friend out of your life. The second reason... I mean, I don't think she HAS seen a successful relationship, what with parents divorcing and friends breaking up, so I guess there's that. The third reason... I just don't know.
I asked her what was wrong with what we had going on: just being extremely good, if not best friends, who hung out all the time and also got to have sex and other relationship things. She said there was nothing wrong with it, and that she really enjoyed being friends with me and that everything had been great until the thought of breaking up with me had entered her mind a day or two prior. And that she still wanted to be extremely good friends with me because she really enjoyed our friendship. But just that she didn't feel like she could be in a relationship for a while until her life got sorted out, and so she didn't want any sex / kissing / whatever until then. She told me that I don't need to hold out for her, and that if I want to find someone else so that I could "get it in" (her words, not mine), she doesn't mind. She even said at the end, "so just to summarize; we're on a break for the moment. But I still want to talk and be friends and eventually hang out!"
It's kinda confused the fuck out of me, and I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't know what I've done wrong, if anything, or how to fix it, but I just feel like theres something she's not telling me, and I don't know what. We still talk every few days, and it's not just a one-sided thing, she initiates the conversation some days too. But it's been slowly dying out. We still have plans to go away to Montreal at the end of the month for Osheaga (her, I, and a mutual friend that I met through her), so things aren't completely broken off.
The thing is, I was on Tinder for the past few days just for fun. One of the profiles I cam across was hers. So I don't know if she had been lying ot me or what. She's not the type to lie about that sort of thing. But I genuinely have no idea what the hell is going on, or what to do.
Any advice GAF?
So this thread is more Dating Gaf than it is Relationship Gaf, yeah? Couldn't find a Relationship-Age OT though, so I'm going to ask here anyway, because I'm really frustrated and upset, and need to vent / get some advice.
So my girlfriend and I had (have?) been dating for almost 6 months. Things were going great right from the start. We hung out multiple times a week, were constantly texting, always just had a lot of fun. There was never any trouble in the relationship, or problems, or arguments, or anything like that. We were extremely open with each other about everything, and it was great! It was the happiest I had ever been.
About a month, maybe a month and a half ago, she had to move back home due to not having a job and thus, being unable to pay rent. So she moved back in to her parents' house about 30-40 minutes away from me, and started working at a factory to get some money while looking for a full-time job (as we've both just graduated). Everything was still good though! We'd take turns visiting each other every weekend, often spend a day or 2 at each others houses at a time since we could only see each other on weekends. We still texted constantly every single day, though, still no problems.
2 weeks ago, we had plans to hang out at her place on the Friday. We had last seen each other the Sunday beforehand. On the Wednesday, we were making plans for what we were gonna do Friday, again, everything normal. On the Thursday, again still talking and making plans. But then, later on Thursday, she asks if we could hang at my place on Sunday instead, because she couldn't get her parent's car for Friday. I told her it was no problem, I would come to her Friday. She told me that it would be better if she came to me, because we need to talk.
My heart sunk, of course.
I ended up going to see her the next day, and we talked. She said we needed to break up. Every answer she gave to questions I asked ("What happened?", "When did you start feeling like this?", etc) was "I don't know". She couldn't seem to really give me any straight answers. She told me when we had hung out the Sunday before, everything was fine, and breaking up wasn't even a thought in the back of her mind at all. Hell we had still had sex and everything that day. And we had still been talking constantly since then too.
Her reasoning eventually seemed to boil down to "There's a lot going on in my life, too much to think about a relationship at the moment", "I've never seen a successful relationship, so I don't want to get further in and THEN have things end", and "I'm not sure if I'll end up loving you".
The first thing I don't understand... it seems like being in a tough spot in life is why you would WANT someone to talk to and all that, not a time to throw your best friend out of your life. The second reason... I mean, I don't think she HAS seen a successful relationship, what with parents divorcing and friends breaking up, so I guess there's that. The third reason... I just don't know.
I asked her what was wrong with what we had going on: just being extremely good, if not best friends, who hung out all the time and also got to have sex and other relationship things. She said there was nothing wrong with it, and that she really enjoyed being friends with me and that everything had been great until the thought of breaking up with me had entered her mind a day or two prior. And that she still wanted to be extremely good friends with me because she really enjoyed our friendship. But just that she didn't feel like she could be in a relationship for a while until her life got sorted out, and so she didn't want any sex / kissing / whatever until then. She told me that I don't need to hold out for her, and that if I want to find someone else so that I could "get it in" (her words, not mine), she doesn't mind. She even said at the end, "so just to summarize; we're on a break for the moment. But I still want to talk and be friends and eventually hang out!"
It's kinda confused the fuck out of me, and I don't know what to do. I mean, I don't know what I've done wrong, if anything, or how to fix it, but I just feel like theres something she's not telling me, and I don't know what. We still talk every few days, and it's not just a one-sided thing, she initiates the conversation some days too. But it's been slowly dying out. We still have plans to go away to Montreal at the end of the month for Osheaga (her, I, and a mutual friend that I met through her), so things aren't completely broken off.
The thing is, I was on Tinder for the past few days just for fun. One of the profiles I cam across was hers. So I don't know if she had been lying ot me or what. She's not the type to lie about that sort of thing. But I genuinely have no idea what the hell is going on, or what to do.
Any advice GAF?
6 months in, and she's not sure she'll "end loving you" (meaning she doesn't love you now, 6 months in), and she's on Tinder.
Why else would she be on Tinder? 'Friendship' Disregard what she is telling you about needing time to sort things out and not being ready for a relationship (with you - if the sentence needed completing), it's a way of letting you down softly. Or maybe she wants to hook-up without the baggage of a relationship, hence Tinder.
This will where GAF will go 'move on' 'hit the gym' 'meet other girls' etc, and they're right. It will hurt, but time heals all wounds.
Why else would she be on Tinder? 'Friendship' Disregard what she is telling you about needing time to sort things out and not being ready for a relationship (with you - if the sentence needed completing), it's a way of letting you down softly. Or maybe she wants to hook-up without the baggage of a relationship, hence Tinder.
This will where GAF will go 'move on' 'hit the gym' 'meet other girls' etc, and they're right. It will hurt, but time heals all wounds.
You're absolutely right, which is why what she's telling you (plus her being on Tinder) sounds like BS
stn
Member
There's nothing you can do, dude. Her mind is made up. Did she lie to you about the reasons? Yes. Does it matter? No. It changes nothing, the end result is the same. There's nothing you can do to win her back, nor should you attempt such a thing (something like that should be reserved for when you actually screw up somehow, which probably isn't the case here). Why is she on Tinder? She just wants someone else to have sex with and spend time with. There's nothing explanatory about it, people just lose interest. Happens very frequently. Do your best to slowly cut contact with her, only talk to her if you can do it without becoming emotionally involved (this is very difficult to do, I'd recommend against even trying it).
The only thing would say about this is that if she really IS freaked out by being in a relationship because of how it might end, that could cause a sort of mental block preventing her from falling in love.
I actually asked her about the letting me down softly thing. When we were talking about things, and she was telling me how she still wants to be friends, and how she just wasn't ready, etc., I asked her, "Is that you just saying that to kind of cushion the blow, or do you actually want to? Because if you don't actually want to then I'd prefer if you just straight up told me you don't want to, because it will suck less in the long run". But she insisted that she really wanted to still be friends and all that, and the she wasn't trying to just lessen the blow.
Also can anyone help me understand what the "baggage of a relationship" is? Because all I knew is that we were really good friends, who had sex basically, and I don;t get what "baggage" would be weighing her down. Also I highly doubt she's on Tinder for hooking up reasons. In fact, I'm almost 100% sure of it. But I won't get into why, because of reasons personal to her.
Yep. Done and done. Although obviously she'll be sharing the bed with her (female) friend now rather than me
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
I still feel bad though.
Yep, exactly! <3
Kayne West? Sorry bro, you're screwed.
Joking, of course. You're doing the right thing in taking time for yourself. Don't worry, when you get back in the dating game there are sure to be plenty of ladies that are tolerant of your hobbies, even if they don't participate in them--people like that that judge people on crap like that aren't worth the time anyway.
Feel better, dude, and do you for a while :3
That was still a little vague, but her response makes it obvious that she wasn't interested. Be super direct next time, but hey, at least you asked :3
See, at first I was gonna be all "she's prolly stressed, need time alone, sounds okay, just don't wait around for her and she might come back later"
Then you said that she loved your friendship and wanted to be friends, but no physical stuff. So basically she wants you around for that emotional support but doesn't want to do any of the 'relationship' stuff... for whatever reason. That's not fair to you.
THEN she's on Tinder? I know you don't want to feel like she lied to you, but she lied to you. She wants to keep you around as a backup in case your Tinder escapades don't work out--basically she wants to screw around for a while (and get away with it since she lives a half hour away) then go back to her "safe" option once that's all said and done... the safe option being you. She gave you permission to bang other chicks simply to make her feel better about boning other guys.
That's a bullshit position to be in. Just break it off. It'll hurt, but your psyche will be much better for it in the end, trust me. Being the side hoe ain't cool.
The only thing would say about this is that if she really IS freaked out by being in a relationship because of how it might end, that could cause a sort of mental block preventing her from falling in love.
I actually asked her about the letting me down softly thing. When we were talking about things, and she was telling me how she still wants to be friends, and how she just wasn't ready, etc., I asked her, "Is that you just saying that to kind of cushion the blow, or do you actually want to? Because if you don't actually want to then I'd prefer if you just straight up told me you don't want to, because it will suck less in the long run". But she insisted that she really wanted to still be friends and all that, and the she wasn't trying to just lessen the blow.
Also can anyone help me understand what the "baggage of a relationship" is? Because all I knew is that we were really good friends, who had sex basically, and I don;t get what "baggage" would be weighing her down. Also I highly doubt she's on Tinder for hooking up reasons. In fact, I'm almost 100% sure of it. But I won't get into why, because of reasons personal to her.
Yep. Done and done. Although obviously she'll be sharing the bed with her (female) friend now rather than me
Exactly. She wants to be friends. Being friends =/= being in a relationship.
"Baggage of a relationship" = bascially having to care about the other person and their feelings, and occasionally compromising on stuff. One night stands don't need you to care about how the other person's day went, if they're feeling happy/depressed, only if their... members are functionally working and willing.
It doesn't matter the reasons she's given, or if "she's never seen a relationship work". That's a shitty excuse. Many people haven't "seen a relationship work". She's just lobbing excuses so she doesn't have to say what she really means. Stop defending her mindset, and worry about yourself.
You all have valid points, and the answer I expected to receive.
What I'm struggling with is just... "Why?"
It's driving me fucking insane. Like, literally insane. The fact that she couldn't give a reason, or just say that she lost interest.
Every relationship I've ever been in has lasted no longer than 6 months. And every one of those relationships has ended by the other person breaking it off unexpectedly, and without reason in the exact same way that has happened here. So forgive me if it's screwing with my head that I can't figure out what the fuck is wrong with me that causes EVERY person I'm in a relationship with to lose interest in me after a few months.
1) If she was extremely blunt and broke it off completely, it would be the end of that. But, by being vague and giving a glimmer of hope, she can keep you around as a emotional cushion and as a backup. I know this sounds pretty manipulative, and I don't know this girl, but this is not an unheard of thing. It can also be an unconscious thing, rather than a deliberate malicious thing. But whatever, you cannot read her mind. The take-home message is to move on, and not just wait around for her to change her mind. If there truly is a mental block on her side re: a relationship, it doesn't matter. You are not her psychologist.
2) Why would need to 'break off' a 'friendship'? Maybe you had different expectations, maybe she thought you were hanging out too much. Regardless, maintaining a friendship (romantic or not) involves effort, and that in itself brings baggage, whether you think everything is going well or not.
GtwoK I just went through the ***exact*** thing a few months ago and am still trying to move past it. My biggest regret is trying to stay friends. We would still hook up and my feelings were in the right place but i realized i was being played with. Dating gaf has been there, i have been there, cut her off. Completely. I didnt listen to anyone and i o ly got hurt even more.
Dont let her ruin your dignity. Dont blame yourself and stop questioning yourself. Work on things that make you happy, relationships end every day because they just cant work out. Please heed this advice and move on and cut her off. It is hard but you have to do it.
Dont let her ruin your dignity. Dont blame yourself and stop questioning yourself. Work on things that make you happy, relationships end every day because they just cant work out. Please heed this advice and move on and cut her off. It is hard but you have to do it.
Reizo Ryuu
Member
In my experience girls only say this when they are planning to get some sex somewhere else, or at least want to keep that option on the table and don't want to feel bad about it. So she gives you the "go ahead".
Also yes this makes you an easier fallback.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
We try to find reasons and explanations for what we don't understand, but we don't always get the answers we want. As hard as it is, you just have to let it go.
I don't know the exact situation between you two, but this could be reasons:
-she's lost the "spark" in the relationship
-she's started looking forward and doesn't like what she sees
-disapproval from friends or family
-inequity, possibly in terms of financial/emotional investment (feels guilty if you do more, feels unappreciated if she does more)
-lack of communication
-different expectations
-can't commit as she used to (needs more space but feels obligated to keep things going, realizes she can't handle it)
There's a good chance you've discussed all the above and none of these are valid reasons, in which case she just lost interest.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
It's okay to flirt, right?
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Why wouldn't it be?
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
Sorry. I don't know what's okay and what's not okay anymore.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
I'm assuming you mean someone other than the chick you were interested in before? You're being really vague again. And what do you mean you don't know what's ok anymore?
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