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[Kinitari]

So my mother and older sister are going away for 3 weeks to visit relatives in another country, leaving my little sister (just turned 16) alone. They asked me to watch her, as this would be a good opportunity for me to get closer to her - we don't really know each other very well to be honest.

So for the next 3 weeks, she'll be spending most nights in my condo downtown with me and my girlfriend, and my mom has talked to me and sort of broached her general concerns about leaving a 16 year old girl basically to her own devices for nearly a month in summer when she has no school.

I'm not... freaked out or anything, but the last time I watched her for any extended period of time, she was like 8 and it was a weekend, I don't think I can pull too much from that experience and use it now. I really want to use this as an opportunity to get to know her well and to hopefully grow a strong relationship with her. It's cliche, but I'm the black sheep in the family, but I think of all my near relatives she's the most likely to 'get' me and how I think and maybe I can be more honest about who I am with her.

Still... I wouldn't mind advice here. I think I'm going to get her to talk to one of my close friends, who's a sexual health nurse, just to cover all my basis. I don't know what sort of relationship she has with sex, or with my older sister/mother when it comes to talking about sex, but... well I'm not dumb, she's 16 and she's a pretty girl, so this is a potential opportunity for disaster if we don't act smart I feel. How to even broach this topic with her though, is going to be hard for me.

So GAF, advice?

 

[rtcn63]

If you're both in the same room and you're watching porn, make sure your headphones are attached properly.

 

[John Kowalski]

Make your your headphones are plugged in.

GODDAMNIT AARRGH

 

[Ibuki]

If you're both in the same room and you're watching porn, make sure your headphones are attached properly.

Make your your headphones are plugged in.

GODDAMNIT AARRGH

Oh man... good stuff guys.

 

[Torraz]

Make sure you have set ground rules prepared (set those up together with your girlfriend), so you are on the same page. Then immediately make sure little sister knows them (and sticks to them).

 

[JCizzle]

If you're both in the same room and you're watching porn, make sure your headphones are attached properly.

 

[xxracerxx]

Why in the world are you wanting to give her the sex talk?

Hang out and do stuff together, let her have space if she says no.

 

[AnathemicOne]

Remember, green is sound

 

[davepoobond]

wait, is she 16 or 17?

 

[Sobriquet]

Why would you even bring up sex?

 

[StoopKid]

Why in the world are you wanting to give her the sex talk?

Hang out and do stuff together, let her have space if she says no.

Lol this.

 

[Cheesehead9099]

Bringing up sex is a little too random imo.

 

[John Kowalski]

Kini-kun are you still with "it"? The first thing i'd do is figure out what "it" is nowadays. It may not be what you think it is. Other than that, teenagers live their lives one second at a time, be ready and keep yourself constantly adapting to her needs.

She's probably gonna be closer to your girlfriend anyway, but that's only because she's not her immediate family. Also she's a teenager. Show her the good stuff.

 

[ClosingADoor]

Why do you think you need to talk about sex with your 16 year old sister? I'm pretty sure she is aware how everything works.

She'll probably be on Facebook all day, watching Netflix or playing games or whatever. If she wants to go out with friends, make sure she has your number for emergencies.

Outside of that, hang out, get to know her, whatever.

 

[Mr. Doop]

You're watching your sister. Why is the first thing to pop into your mind the sex talk? Why is that even relevant to taking care of her?

 

[davepoobond]

i think you, your girlfriend, and your sister all should go underwear shopping. that'll be a good way to bring up the sex talk

 

[Ban Puncher]

If you're both in the same room and you're watching porn, make sure your headphones are attached properly.

Make your your headphones are plugged in.

GODDAMNIT AARRGH

Remember, green is sound

Don't make your imouto sad.

 

[Ryaaan14]

Have her teach u about Snapchat 😏

 

[suedester]

Kind of at a loss for words regarding your last paragraph to be honest. If you try to have an awkward talk about sex then you are in for a disastrous 3 weeks.

 

[John Kowalski]

i think you, your girlfriend, and your sister all should go underwear shopping. that'll be a good way to bring up the sex talk

That's a good way to bring up sex in all kinds of forms, shapes, and otherwise illegal things.

 

[Walpurgis]

She is 16. She doesn't need a sex talk and she doesn't really need you to take care of her. Just act like you are living with a friend or something. Also, be careful about your black sheepishness. Whatever you did to earn that, don't dig yourself into a deeper hole by sharing it with your sister.

 

[Who]

I don't think you have to worry about having sex talks.

 

[Redd]

I can't help but think of Kyousuke reading the op.

 

[entremet]

Why doesn't she get a job or something?

I worked as soon as I could when was able to.

That would keep her busy .

I also don't know why you're gonna talk to her about sex. You're her older brother and you're not close. Sounds like awkward city.

 

[SteveWinwood]

shes 16

she could be left alone and be fine

just do whatever you normally do and make sure she doesnt throw parties, run away, or die

 

[Keri]

You're watching your sister. Why is the first thing to pop into your mind the sex talk? Why is that even relevant to taking care of her?

LOL. A teenage girl having sex is, like, every families worst nightmare. I'm surprised that so many in this thread are surprised by it. It's pretty normal for families to try to guard their daughter's/ sister's virginity like hawks. Partially, it's because getting pregnant ruins lives and the brunt of the responsibility/ aftermath falls on the girl.

OP, an official "sex talk" from your sexual health nurse friend is probably overkill. If you're worried, maybe just have your girlfriend ask her if she's being safe, as casual like as possible?

 

[erawsd]

Your biggest issue will likely be establishing yourself as an authority.

Let her settle in and give her some time to feel out the new surroundings, and then maybe at dinner you guys discuss some ground rules and expectations. Shes 16 so you may want to talk through them with her, instead of just telling her how its going to be.

 

[Noisy Ninj4]

Why would you even bring up sex?

Yeah, don't do that. If she brings it up or it becomes relevant to the conversation, sure, but don't go from zero to sex.

 

[woolley]

She's 16, she should be able to take care of herself for the most part. Just set some ground rules and maybe come up with some things to do like the movies or going to dinner at Applebee's or something.

 

[Fracas]

You start out like a normal person

then the last paragraph and BAM

 

[Permanently A]

OP I think the mom is in charge of the sex talk, not you.

 

[entremet]

LOL. A teenage girl having sex is, like, every families worst nightmare. I'm surprised that so many in this thread are surprised by it. It's pretty normal for families to try to guard their daughter's/ sister's virginity like hawks. Partially, it's because getting pregnant ruins lives and the brunt of the responsibility/ aftermath falls on the girl.

OP, an official "sex talk" from your sexual health nurse friend is probably overkill. If you're worried, maybe just have your girlfriend ask her if she's being safe, as casual like as possible?

That's understable, but it's weird coming from an older brother that she basically said he's not close to.

Sex ed, taking about sex is fine, but it's just strange to bring up in the OP's context.

 

[Wolfe]

just to cover all my basis.

Hehe.

Honestly though OP not sure why you think the sex talk is relevant or necessary. I'm not saying it's not, I have no idea just curious as to what your basis for this assumption is?

 

[IISANDERII]

Happy birthday to her!

 

[Jezbollah]

Sex talk? Oh wow. OP, you are looking after her, not parenting her.

Just go out, have fun, and if youre tired of her or she is of you, give yourselves a bit of space.

Just because you're responsible for the well being of a sibling, doesnt mean you should go and be a faux parent. Just be company.

 

[cameron]

When you were 16, did you want to have a discussion about sex with your older sister?

You're overthinking all this. Set some ground rules. A curfew that's similar to what your mom would do. That's about it.

 

[Kinitari]

wait, is she 16 or 17?

16, just turned last month, typo in the OP


Regarding sex talk stuff - I won't be watching her the entire time. She'll be here most nights, but a lot of nights she'll be alone at my mom's place. I guess I'm just worried - I've talked to some of my female friends and they were like "Yeah at that age, sex was on my mind... make sure she has protection and birth control" - was a lot of the advice I got. I'm sure she knows what sex is, I'm -not- sure that she's aware about how to be smart regarding sex. I don't want her getting pregnant, or getting an STD or whatever.

 

[Zombine]

Ugh changing your not so kid sister's diaper is the worst. Remember it's front to back when using wet wipes dude. There's so many tricks to taking care of children.

 

[davepoobond]

Hehe.

Honestly though OP not sure why you think the sex talk is relevant or necessary. I'm not saying it's not, I have no idea just curious as to what your basis for this assumption is?

maybe he has thin walls in his living space and since he has a girlfriend they'll probably have sex, and the girlfriend is really loud, so he wants to get in front of it and bring it up

 

[Hazmat]

Yeah, I'm not sure why you think taking care of a 16 (17?) year old girl for a few weeks means you need to get a professional to talk to her about sex. FYI, you don't have to tell her about her period either.

 

[Conor_Fool]

Very strange OP, very strange. Just hang out with her... Watch Netflix, go to a park, do anything that helps you two catch up. Just uh don't talk about sex.

 

[SwiftDeath]

"Alright so here's the couch you'll be crashing on. The bathroom's through there. Kitchen isn't that well stocked but you're welcome to what's there. Make sure that when you have sex to always use a condom and be safe. I have a friend who's a registered nurse if you want to ask any specific questions pertaining to that. Oh and make sure you lock the door at night if you come in late as there have been some burglaries in the area.

Okay that's about it, did you have any questions?"

If you want you could have your girlfriend talk to her briefly I guess?

There's really no good way to open into a sex talk and it really isn't your responsibility.

 

[Jobbs]

Just hang out. Take the opportunity to get to know her better. Find out what she's into and up to. She's old enough to not need you to hover around doing "parenting", and you don't know her that well anyway -- So don't parent. Just kinda let her do what she wants (for the most part).

 

[Keri]

That's understable, but it's weird coming from an older that he basically said he's not close to.

Sex ed, taking about sex is fine, but it's just strange to bring up in the OP's context.

Generally, I think it's weird too, how obsessed families can be about protecting the virginity of teenage girls, but in this case I think I get where the OP is coming from: It sounds like the mom already expressed concern about his sister "being left to her own devices" and the OP doesn't want the WORST CASE LIFE SCENARIO (teenage pregnancy) happening on his watch, so he gets blamed.

 

[smokeandmirrors]

ask her if she's up to date on new dank internet may mays

 

[EchoChamber]

you must show your sister how to fuck if she wanna have sex.

 

[Cheesehead9099]

you must show your sister how to fuck if she wanna have sex.

And so it begins

 

[Ryaaan14]

you must show your sister how to fuck if she wanna have sex.

Ayooo

 

[Kinitari]

Generally, I think it's weird too, how obsessed families can be about protecting the virginity of teenage girls, but in this case I think I get where the OP is coming from: It sounds like the mom already expressed concern about his sister "being left to her own devices" and the OP doesn't want the WORST CASE LIFE SCENARIO (teenage pregnancy) happening on his watch, so he gets blamed.

This is a big part of it. I talked to my mom last night a bit about it and she said at one point "She's at that age now... you know, she's hanging out late, thinking about boys, so I need to you to be extra careful and always be aware of what she is and is doing".

So I'm a tad freaked out, because I know I can't always watch her.

That being said... a lot of the advice seems to be "don't worry about it". Which, if I'm honest, I really want to (not worry that is). If you guys really think I have nothing to worry about, then that honestly is a big weight off my shoulders.

 

[entremet]

Generally, I think it's weird too, how obsessed families can be about protecting the virginity of teenage girls, but in this case I think I get where the OP is coming from: It sounds like the mom already expressed concern about his sister "being left to her own devices" and the OP doesn't want the WORST CASE LIFE SCENARIO (teenage pregnancy) happening on his watch, so he gets blamed.

I do agree.

It should be for both genders.

But the reason is obvious. Women bear a larger burden from unwanted pregnancies from unprotected sex. Even if an abortion is in the cards, some states require parental notice.