Advice for taking care of my (not so kid) sister for 3 weeks?
- Thread starter Kinitari
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Alligatorjandro
Banned
Give her a Wii u
I don't know how I feel about this... I don't know if you can stop her from doing stuff like this even if you wanted to. I recommend just chill. I can't imagine it going well if you, as not only her brother (not parent), but as her brother who doesn't know her very well, try to clash with her on what she can and can't do or where she can or can't go. It sounds like a recipe for disaster. I say just try to get to know her better and be chill and stop worrying about this other stuff.
Yeah it wouldn't be about trying to 'stop' her from doing stuff... I honestly don't even think that for a second, I could stop her if I wanted to. I guess I'm also trying to imagine what it's like to be at that age and have no parents around for that long. I guess really, I just want to make sure she has condoms if she needs them, if I'm gonna be blunt. I absolutely -don't- want to have that conversation though. I think worst case, I can ask my girlfriend to have a casual conversation with her to figure out if I need to worry or not.
FutureZombie
Banned
The first night she's with you, walk over to her bed right before she falls asleep. Put a tampon in her hand and tell her, "I'm here for you."
well, obviously sometimes you need to read the situation, but generically my reaction to this is "stay out of it". you're her big brother, and it's a shame you don't know her that well. Get to know her. Forget all this other stuff.
Well, teenage pregnancy is still a thing that happens...so, a thread full of "don't worry about its" really doesn't mean anything. No one here knows your sister. I think it probably is true though, that she's more likely to engage in risky behavior when your mom is out of town, than she would be normally.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd just be completely honest with her: "Look, mom is worried about you being on your own and she's on my case to watch you. If you could just, not get pregnant in the next 3-weeks, that would be great. I'm here to talk if you want to, about anything, but I don't mean to pry. No judgment, let me know if you need someone to buy you protection."
way more
Member
Just show that episode of Mr. Belvedere to her where the kid catches AIDS.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9E-NBEg0A4
That's how my older sister explained sex to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9E-NBEg0A4
That's how my older sister explained sex to me.
Jezbollah
Member
Maeby jokes.
Conor_Fool
Banned
Yeah. If it's this bad already, well... best of luck to you OP
Its a neogaf meme when you mean the porn headphone thing.
wanderingprostheyltite
Member
Larogue
Member
If only it was the headphone thing. Lot of you guys watch too much anime. The bad kind.
Unmasked Ferret
Member
Establish your dominance by German suplexing her as soon as she walks through the door. Then just let her watch TV and eat cereal all day. 16 year olds still like SpongeBob right? If this doesn't work then just give her drugs and let her watch SpongeBob.
You gotta be a good onii-chan and keep your imouto away from guys. Or be a better onii-chan and pick her partner for her. Or be the best onii-chan and be her partner.
You gotta be a good onii-chan and keep your imouto away from guys. Or be a better onii-chan and pick her partner for her. Or be the best onii-chan and be her partner.
Don't do any of this and it'll be fine... Except the suplex, do that and record it for us.
Various Artists
Banned
Dude, just be normal, when I was 16 the last thing I wanted an older sibling talking to me about was my sex life. Order some pizzas watch some movies and dont intrude upon her space. Shell take care of the rest.
Ben Morales
Member
I appreciate the actual advice guys
Yes! I was going to second Keri's approach. It doesn't come off as heavy handed, and gets it out into the open so you two can move on and hopefully just have a good time.
I agree with this guy.
Seems like you're overthinking it, OP. All you gotta do is make sure she doesn't die on your watch and you'll be good.
Joe Molotov
Member
I don't have a car and I can't drive anyway... That's no good.
Honestly I was hoping to use video games to bond with her. Is that naive? I remember when she was younger she liked the occasional video game.
Advice on how I can use this as an opportunity to foster a good relationship with at least one of my relatives would be good too guys. I might take her up with me and my girlfriend's family up to their cottage for a weekend. As far as I know she's never really been out of the suburb I grew up in
That's a really good idea. Change of scenery and all.
Jeffolation
Banned
As soon as she gets in sit her down and put Oldboy on. Don't speak during the film but every so often establish and maintain eye contact for 30 second intervals. No smiling. When it's over just leave the room. She'll figure everything else out.
MichaelFassbender
Member
I agree with setting up ground rules. Nothing extreme, she is 16, but basics of what is acceptable behavior. Spell out a curfew. Let her know of any chores you expect from her if any (putting her dishes away after using them, her laundry, whatever you find reasonable.)While you're not her parent you want this to be a good experience for everyone so if you are all on the same page with expectations it should help stop any problems before they develop. Also wanted to echo giving emergency contact numbers.
The closest I've come to this experience was crashing with my brother at his apartment in Chicago for a few days, but we were both above 21. We walked around the city, ate delicious food, watched Batman The Animated Series, did karaoke, and just chilled. We fought a lot when we were young and this was one of the best times I spent with him.
Give her space but try to plan some fun things that you can invite her to join in on.
It's not naive but I wouldn't bank on it. Ask her about her interests. She is your sister so you should have some things in common. You can bond over video games, music, movies, any activity you both like or finding a fun show together and marathon it.
The closest I've come to this experience was crashing with my brother at his apartment in Chicago for a few days, but we were both above 21. We walked around the city, ate delicious food, watched Batman The Animated Series, did karaoke, and just chilled. We fought a lot when we were young and this was one of the best times I spent with him.
Give her space but try to plan some fun things that you can invite her to join in on.
way more
Member
I have two younger sisters.
The youngest one, I made sure to make sure that she had a steady diet of Super Nintendo early on, I bought extra copies of games to make sure she had a copy, it also helps that she completely thought her older sister was obnoxious for getting married young. That, and lots of anime, documentaries, sci fi, video games, and books have kept her from getting into trouble at college. Instead of going out dancing or drinking, she stays in her dorm and calls me to talk about The Legend of Korra, Doctor Who, Sherlock, or whatever awesome animal she's discovered on the internet. I made sure that she reads things like murderpedia, The Smoking Gun, and others. There was a point a few weeks back where we were sending photos back and forth of awesome spiders. (Peacock Spiders are the best spiders.)
I would be surprised if she ever decided to date or what not. But I also made sure that.. if she ever does.. she knows how to handle a gun, she knows basic self defense, I started doing this thing where she would enter a room and then tell me at least 20 ways to kill someone with the stuff in the room. It's not the most cheerful of games, but it should be something to think about. You know? When you enter a room, think about how to get out of that room quickly. Be aware of exits, items to use as weapons, and so much more.
The youngest one, I made sure to make sure that she had a steady diet of Super Nintendo early on, I bought extra copies of games to make sure she had a copy, it also helps that she completely thought her older sister was obnoxious for getting married young. That, and lots of anime, documentaries, sci fi, video games, and books have kept her from getting into trouble at college. Instead of going out dancing or drinking, she stays in her dorm and calls me to talk about The Legend of Korra, Doctor Who, Sherlock, or whatever awesome animal she's discovered on the internet. I made sure that she reads things like murderpedia, The Smoking Gun, and others. There was a point a few weeks back where we were sending photos back and forth of awesome spiders. (Peacock Spiders are the best spiders.)
I would be surprised if she ever decided to date or what not. But I also made sure that.. if she ever does.. she knows how to handle a gun, she knows basic self defense, I started doing this thing where she would enter a room and then tell me at least 20 ways to kill someone with the stuff in the room. It's not the most cheerful of games, but it should be something to think about. You know? When you enter a room, think about how to get out of that room quickly. Be aware of exits, items to use as weapons, and so much more.
Astral Dog
Member
What? whats all this talk about sex? she is 16.probably has a boyfriend already, what more you want to know?
kind of creepy, just do fun stuff with her and chat,movies, movie stars, family, hobbies, etc.
edit: honestly, this is perfect to talk about boys too
kind of creepy, just do fun stuff with her and chat,movies, movie stars, family, hobbies, etc.
edit: honestly, this is perfect to talk about boys too
striferser
Huge Nickleback Fan
Just go to a movie, take her somewhere, play video game together, ask what her interest, cook together, and let your girlfriend have some time with your sister, so they can talk about you behind your back
No need to talk about sex stuff... This ain't no oreimo or oniai!
No need to talk about sex stuff... This ain't no oreimo or oniai!
I think regarding sex stuff... Context might help.
My family is Muslim, and my mom absolutely would not let my younger sister have a boyfriend. When I was my sisters age, my mom completely avoided talking to me about sex. My older sister is also not a nice person, and I know my younger sister and her basically don't get along.
So knowing all this, I worry that my sister, now being left alone for three weeks, is going to do what probably a lot of kids will do at her age. Rebel. But I'm not confident that she's had any talk with my mom or sister regarding sex other than "don't, or else". I really don't want these three weeks to be bad, I don't want her getting pregnant or getting an STD or any shit like that.
My family is Muslim, and my mom absolutely would not let my younger sister have a boyfriend. When I was my sisters age, my mom completely avoided talking to me about sex. My older sister is also not a nice person, and I know my younger sister and her basically don't get along.
So knowing all this, I worry that my sister, now being left alone for three weeks, is going to do what probably a lot of kids will do at her age. Rebel. But I'm not confident that she's had any talk with my mom or sister regarding sex other than "don't, or else". I really don't want these three weeks to be bad, I don't want her getting pregnant or getting an STD or any shit like that.
Conor_Fool
Banned
SwiftDeath
Member
Yeah with the new context, I still think the best "approach" you could take about this if you really are worried is ask your girlfriend to have a nonchalant conversation with her preferably when you're not in the apartment. There's a good chance your sister sees through this and knows it's coming from you but well it's still the best idea I can think of.
You do have something to worry about, but based on how you described your relationship with her, this is absolutely not your place and none of your business. She will hate you for bringing up something so deeply embarassing to her and it's not your job to just become a full-time parent. You're babysitting her, not adopting her.
What you want to do is be cool, talk to her like you would an adult and actually listen to what she has to say. What teenagers cannot fucking stand is when adults still view them as children and react more like "aww it's adorable that you have opinions" rather than "oh, that's interesting, why do you think that?" like you would with an adult. Even if their opinion is dumb because teenagers are dumb, humor her and let her talk and respond with your own thoughts. That's really it. What subject you discuss boils down to some common ground between you. Personally, I bond with my similarly aged nephew through music. We take turns playing songs for each other and then we talk about what we think the lyrics are about.
Oh, also, there are a few posts talking about being an authority. Those people are insane and should not be listened to. Do not give this girl chores, unless you're an amish family and butter needs churning or some shit.
Well, you could either give her a box of condoms as a present or just deal with shit as they come up. I'd personally go with dealing with shit as they come up since that is a lot less awkward. Plus, you can retain the moral high-ground of claiming that you have trust and faith in her and are not just avoiding it because it is awkward as hell
Astral Dog
Member
that is awkward then, yeah you have to explain a few things, but chat about other things first and be as comprehensive as possible, then tell your friend to talk with her.
, she just needs to be responsible and careful.
way more
Member
Really? You've never taken Situational Awareness Training? The other ways to do it are "Name 10 objects in the room that are a certain color" or "Tell me the amount of certain items." She plays video games (RPGs) and loves survival horror games, so "the 20 ways" thing is tailored toward that. You can do that with Goldeneye too. Where you keep track of maps and you also check your position on those split screens.
Noticed some people talking about younger siblings and their taste in music. Part of learning to listen to music is noticing lyrics or instruments. Why not check out that music and break it down in your head. Then share what you find with your siblings. Yes, a lot of music is awful. But there might be good composition behind that awful song or interesting use of instruments. Think 3D when it comes to that music. What's in the music? What instruments? That kind of stuff. Then talk about it.
Never stop taking (and listening) to your siblings.
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